Going on a date can be awkward. It’s just one of those things that, as an adult, you’re suddenly thrust into with next to no idea for what to expect, how to carry on a meaningful conversation, and, in some cases, how to not overspend. Imagine how much more enjoyable those first dating experiences could have been if you were taught the most basic ins and outs when you were younger.
It just so happens that mom and content creator Melissa Ann Marie has a pretty nifty idea for doing just that. Once a month, she has her 13-year-old son plot out a practice date for the two of them to go on, which she says is “really good practice for him in how he can take out future women on dates, especially as he’s getting closer to that age.”
While use of the word “date” in this situation can be understandably off-putting to some, and perhaps is instilling some gendered expectations, it’s also easy to see how, at its core, this is a practice in thoughtfulness, creativity, organization, and frugality. As Melissa explained in a TikTok video, her son is usually given $50 for this outing, and is expected to make all the plans—from securing tickets to arranging reservations—as well as adhere to basic etiquette like holding doors open and pulling out chairs.
“And along the way,” Melissa says, “I’m teaching him manners and respect, and it’s a really good way to just spend some time with my son while teaching him a really good, valuable life lesson.”
Below is a recent example of a practice date, in which Melissa’s son chose a cat café. Why? Because both he and his mom love cats, it was simple to plan, instantly gratifying, and because “it supports a good cause… the money’s going to the kittens and cats.” In other words, he aced it.
And since admission was $25 each, Melissa’s son came perfectly within budget. Sure, they ended up getting tacos on the beach afterwards, which Melissa technically covered then had him pay for it, (again, or practice). But that in itself is a bit of a lesson in going with the flow, ya know?
Just putting this through a heteronormative lens, think of all the complaints and lamentations you’ve undoubtedly heard from women about their male partners who didn’t exactly excel at date planning. Or even worse, who put the onus on them to plan the whole thing, in addition to planning everything else. Imagine how this lack of consideration could be avoided simply by teaching young men what thoughtfulness really looks like. We regularly encourage parents to help young boys become respectful to women by teaching consent, speaking kindly, and calling out sexism, but this too could be a way to instill really important values and have fun in doing it.
Perhaps this is why Melissa’s post resonated with so many moms, many of whom either incorporated a similar strategy, or plan to do so in the future.
“I did Mom/son dates. My son is 23 now and his fiancé says he’s the sweetest guy she’s ever met,” one person wrote.
Another echoed, “I did this with my 3 sons when they were teenagers. Valuable lessons, and such good quality one on one time with them.”
As parents, we’re all doing our best to raise genuinely good humans. That often means finding creative ways to introduce them to the adult world. And, who knows, in teaching these concepts we just might learn a thing or two in the process ourselves.
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