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Mom has her 13-year-old son plan out practice dates to teach 'manners and respect'

She calls it a really great way to spend quality time together while teaching a valuable lesson.

screen shot of woman speaking to cameral woman and son at a cafe
@melissaannmarie/TikTok

Every month, Melissa and her son go on a practice "date" of his choosing.

Going on a date can be awkward. It’s just one of those things that, as an adult, you’re suddenly thrust into with next to no idea for what to expect, how to carry on a meaningful conversation, and, in some cases, how to not overspend. Imagine how much more enjoyable those first dating experiences could have been if you were taught the most basic ins and outs when you were younger.

It just so happens that mom and content creator Melissa Ann Marie has a pretty nifty idea for doing just that. Once a month, she has her 13-year-old son plot out a practice date for the two of them to go on, which she says is “really good practice for him in how he can take out future women on dates, especially as he’s getting closer to that age.”

While use of the word “date” in this situation can be understandably off-putting to some, and perhaps is instilling some gendered expectations, it’s also easy to see how, at its core, this is a practice in thoughtfulness, creativity, organization, and frugality. As Melissa explained in a TikTok video, her son is usually given $50 for this outing, and is expected to make all the plans—from securing tickets to arranging reservations—as well as adhere to basic etiquette like holding doors open and pulling out chairs.

“And along the way,” Melissa says, “I’m teaching him manners and respect, and it’s a really good way to just spend some time with my son while teaching him a really good, valuable life lesson.”

Below is a recent example of a practice date, in which Melissa’s son chose a cat café. Why? Because both he and his mom love cats, it was simple to plan, instantly gratifying, and because “it supports a good cause... the money’s going to the kittens and cats.” In other words, he aced it.

@melissaannmariee Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn today?! -to open the doors for his date -not to walk ahead of his date -pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go too) -pull their chair at a dinner table -learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to make a reservation online -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really sweet one this time and I really i enjoyed teaching him these things along the way and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again and see what he comes up with. Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman ♬ original sound - Melissa Ann Marie


And since admission was $25 each, Melissa’s son came perfectly within budget. Sure, they ended up getting tacos on the beach afterwards, which Melissa technically covered then had him pay for it, (again, or practice). But that in itself is a bit of a lesson in going with the flow, ya know?

Just putting this through a heteronormative lens, think of all the complaints and lamentations you’ve undoubtedly heard from women about their male partners who didn’t exactly excel at date planning. Or even worse, who put the onus on them to plan the whole thing, in addition to planning everything else. Imagine how this lack of consideration could be avoided simply by teaching young men what thoughtfulness really looks like. We regularly encourage parents to help young boys become respectful to women by teaching consent, speaking kindly, and calling out sexism, but this too could be a way to instill really important values and have fun in doing it.

Perhaps this is why Melissa’s post resonated with so many moms, many of whom either incorporated a similar strategy, or plan to do so in the future.

“I did Mom/son dates. My son is 23 now and his fiancé says he’s the sweetest guy she’s ever met,” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “I did this with my 3 sons when they were teenagers. Valuable lessons, and such good quality one on one time with them.”

As parents, we're all doing our best to raise genuinely good humans. That often means finding creative ways to introduce them to the adult world. And, who knows, in teaching these concepts we just might learn a thing or two in the process ourselves.

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Pop Culture

Guy shares the 'one sound in the entire world' that divides those born before and after 1998

It'll make you cringe or feel absolutely nothing.

via TheGlassSniper/TikTok and 30pin Pictures/Flickr

The Glass Sniper is taking people back to 1998.

A popular TikToker known as The Glass Sniper is going viral with a video that struck a chord with people who remember the early days of the Internet. In the video, he teases a specific sound that was everywhere before it suddenly disappeared into the collective memory of those born before the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal.

“There is only one sound in this entire world that will forever separate the old generation from the new one,” Glass Sniper said in the viral video. “'For when the new generation hears it, they'll have no idea what we're talking about. But when the old generation hears it… We cringe!” The sound, of course, is the squeak of a dial-up modem connecting with an Internet service provider or ISP, as they were known back in the day.


@theglasssniper

New year. New Generation. What year is the line drawn? Lol

New year. New Generation. What year is the line drawn? Lol

One of the biggest problems with dial-up internet was that if you were online, no one in your home could use the phone, which caused some big domestic problems. Also, if you used a long-distance phone number for your dial-up number, you could be in for a hefty phone bill.

phone bill, big bill, unexpected bill, aol bill, america online, shocked man, moneyA man is shocked when he looks at his phone bill. via Canva/Photos

"I can hear my mom yelling 'IM ON THE PHONE!'" — MacksMom1990 wrote in the comments. "Followed by...You've got mail," DawnMichel added. "I can already hear my sister yelling at me to get off the computer so she can call her friend," Uncle B wrote.

"I figured it would be that sound, or the sound that the tv made after there no more tv shows at night ( when they showed the colour palette)," Isabellers Unniers wrote. "That sound reminds me of the time when I didn’t have to worry about anything, no stress (other than that damn noise) or anything," That_silver300 added. "The way my head popped up like a damn meerkat when I heard it..." MagnusDavis345 commented."

aol, america online, aol disc, hard disc, 1990s, '90s nostaligia, you've got mailAn old America Online disc.via Karl Baron/Flickr


For those of you who don't remember the early days of dial-up modems, in the mid-'90s, America Online (or AOL) was the most popular internet service provider, and it offered chat features, web browsing, and email, all in one package. Its chat rooms allowed people to connect anonymously with others in real-time, and, at that time, no one had photos, so you had to trust that the person was who they said they were.

In 1999, AOL grew to over 18 million subscribers and was the largest internet provider in the country. However, after a merger with Time Warner, dubbed "one of the worst mergers in history," in 2001 and the development of broadband internet, AOL's dial-up services quickly became a dinosaur.

Although they’re uncommon, people still use dial-up modems. For some comparison, in 2002, 55 million people in the U.S. used dial-up internet, but that number quickly dropped to 51 million in 2003. As of September 2023, 400,000 people in the U.S. still have dial-up internet.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Motherhood

People are in disbelief learning how many moms literally daydream about being hospitalized

It's a real phenomenon.

Canva, @emilykmay/X

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Joy

San Diego man buys an apartment on a cruise ship for less than renting one on land

The all-expenses-paid life may not be as expensive as you'd think.

Photo credit: Canva

Can you really live on a cruise ship?

Living the rest of your life on a cruise ship seems like the dream of the ultra-rich. You wake up every morning and have an all-you-can-eat breakfast. Spend the afternoon hanging out by the pool or touring a fantastic city such as Rome or Dubrovnik. At night, have a drink in the lounge watching a comedian or a jazz band, then hit the sack and do it all over again the next day. Seems too good to be true for the average person, right? Think again.

Austin Wells of San Diego told CNBC that he could make it happen at just 28 years old because it’s cheaper than living onshore in Southern California and he gets to see the world. “The thing that most excites me is I don’t have to upend my daily routine, in order to go see the world,” Wells told CNBC.

“I’m going from this model where you want to go somewhere, you pack a bag, you get on a flight, you rent a room, to now my condo, my gym, my doctors and dentists, all of my grocery stores travel the world with me,” he added.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Wells purchased an apartment on the Storylines MV Narrative, which is being built in Croatia. When he'll actually get to live on it is still a big question, as the build has faced delays and financial hiccups. The ship's sailing date has been pushed out from 2025 to a tentative launch in 2027.

The rough math for Wells' dream makes perfect sense on paper, though. He purchased a 12-year lease on the ship for $300,000. That comes to about $2,100 a month if he didn’t have to take out a loan. By comparison, most apartments in San Diego cost more than $2,100 per month in rent.

cruise ship, pool on a cruise ship, cruise ship living, cheaper than rentSome people call cruise ships home.Photo credit: Canva

The ship charges an additional $2,100 a month for all-inclusive services, which include food, drinks, alcohol, gym membership, routine healthcare check-ups, onboard entertainment and laundry.

So, it could cost Wells as little as $4,200 a month to live an all-expenses-paid life. Plus, there’s no need to pay for a car or waste time shopping for groceries or traveling anywhere. It’s all on the ship. And Wells can work from the ship because his job with Meta is fully remote.

"What I'm probably most excited about is going to places that ships can only uniquely go,” he told CNBC, adding that cruise ships can travel to “unique ecological parts of the world or beautiful dive spots that are a few miles off land or caves to dive through and the ship will do a number of overnight stays in those areas."

cruise ship, cruise ship port, beach, luxury cruise, cruise ship lifeImagine this being your temporary backyard.Photo credit: Canva

Wells isn’t the only person who’s decided to live on a permanent vacation. Upworthy spoke with a couple in their 50s who live on cruise ships because it’s cheaper than their mortgage.

Richard Burk and his wife, Angelyn, are living their best life hopping from ship to ship for around $100 a night, depending on the cruise. "Cruise costs vary quite a bit, our goal is to average about $100 per night, for the couple, or less across an entire calendar year," Richard told Upworthy.

The Burks keep the costs of cruising down through loyalty memberships. “We love to travel and we were searching for a way to continuously travel in our retirement that made financial sense,” Angelyn told 7 News.

People like Wells and the Burks may be outliers in society. They’ve chosen to give up the comforts of home for the comfort of living a life being catered to 24/7. While most of us probably won’t opt to make the big leap and live life out at the sea, their stories are a wonderful reminder that with a little creative thinking, we can create the perfect lives for ourselves whether on land or at sea.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Modern Families

Dad's 7-week paternity leave after birth of second child changes his entire parenting outlook

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

Dad's paternity leave was eye-opening.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone while also tending to a newborn. All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties (Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Now that's equity!).

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.” This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear, his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

dad, baby, parenting, paternity leave, fatherhood, parenthoodBaby sleeping in Dad's arms.Image via Canva

“It's unfortunately the end of my maternity —ahem— paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video via voiceover. “I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”

He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memories—losing track of time to “watch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instance—he feels “guilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.

“[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.

You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.

@ustheremingtons

I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON Açaí 👊 Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleave #dadtok #dadsover30 #dadlife #fyp #foryoupage #ditl #ditlvlog #maternityleave #newbornlife #newbornbaby #secondbaby #2under2 #toddlerlife

Why is he doing this? His wife, aka “the lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the house cleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.

Doing his fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his “fair share” was actually doing “the bare minimum.”

cleaning, housework, parenting, parents, chores, kidsFor some households, one's fair share can be the bare minimum.

“It has taken multiple conversations—and many ongoing ones—to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home,” Remington shares, noting that communication really is key.

Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.

“I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says. These are definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.

Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives. What's more, research has shown that paternity leave can actually aid Dad's brains in adapting to parenthood, according to Harvard Business Review.

Today, things have slowed down and revved up as both Remington kids are a little older. What hasn't changed, though, is what everyone learned from those seven weeks of paternity leave: having time to be with one's family, especially during crucial moments of growth and hardship, can make a world of difference. And, one thing's for sure: the Remingtons are committed to figuring it all out with love and grace (and it looks like they're doing great).

@ustheremingtons

Send us all the Bend, OR fooddddiee spots please! Little roadtrip to the mountains so our babies can enjoy the snow 🫰#roadtrip #bend #bendoregon #familytime #familyfun #snow #snowday #toddlerhood #toddlerlife #momanddad #roadtrips #snowfall #fyp #relatable


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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