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This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity

"Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity
@scarrednotscared/Instagram

Michelle Elman, a body positivity coach, helps people who are struggling to find confidence in their own skin. After persevering through numerous medical conditions and surgeries in her own life, Elman realized a few years ago that body positivity wasn't just about size or weight.

Things like scars, birthmarks, and anything else that makes us feel different of self-conscious have to be a part of the conversation, and she tries to make the movement accessible to everyone. Sharing her own journey has been one of her most effective teaching tools.

In May, she shared a post on Instagram of herself trying on a dress she bought five years ago in order to prove a powerful point.

In the first photo, from 2012 — when she was a size 12, she says — she's wearing a size 14 dress. In the new photo, she's wearing the same dress, though she says she normally wears a size 20.

The dress still fit.

"NUMBERS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING," she wrote in the post. "So are you really going to let a change [in] dress size dictate your day? Are you really going to let an increase in a number affect your mood?"

"A higher dress size doesn't mean: — you are less beautiful — you are less worthy — you are less lovable — you are a worse human — you are a bad person — you are a different person AND it doesn't even mean you have a bigger body."

The viral photo inspired thousands of people. While a huge majority of the comments were positive, there was still something bugging Elman about the response.

Not everyone was getting the right message.

"Since the creation of this account, I have always been told I'm beautiful 'for my size' and I never wanted to talk about it because I thought I was being pedantic but eventually decided to speak my mind about it," she says in an email.

She decided to create a follow-up post to set a few things straight about what body positivity really means.

In the second post, she took a different approach to the "before and after" shots we see so often on Instagram. People loved it.

In the caption, Elman addresses a couple of things well-meaning people got wrong about the message she was trying to spread. Some commenters said she looked "skinnier" in the 2017 photo which, though meant as a compliment, just reinforces that being skinny is somehow better.

Others said she wasn't fat enough, to which Elman could only scoff.

"If people tell you they are a certain size, believe them," she wrote.

"People think that body positivity is about trying to convince people that bigger bodies are attractive, either physically or sexually," she says.

But that's totally missing the point of what her work is all about.

"If you are still relating your love for your body to society's perception of beauty," she says, "then you are still reliant on someone else's opinion. Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Her second post is currently sitting at over 26,500 likes on Instagram — a clear sign that this is a message many of us desperately needed to hear.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



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Joy

A woman accidentally said, 'Love you!' to an important client. His response was perfect.

He even followed up with a heartwarming e-mail.

Photo credit: Canva

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

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Parenting

Frustrated mom goes off for 2-minutes on the 'professionalization' of kids sports

"When did extracurriculars become so EXTRA?"

via Canva/Photos

One mom has had enough with so-called casual extracurriculars that require massive family commitments

"Let's sign our six-year-old up for soccer!" you think one day, trying to be the good involved parent. It's all fun and games at first, and there doesn't seem to be much of a downside. Your child will get exercise, learn teamwork and cooperation, develop leadership skills, and get valuable time outside away from tablets and other screens. The games will be fun, and there will be snacks, Gatorade, and, of course, the orange slices. What could go wrong?

Fast forward two years, and suddenly you're at practice until seven p.m. three nights per week and arranging to travel out of town for a weekend tournament in Jacksonville. Your house is in shambles, you're living off of fast food, and your bank account is screaming at you to stop signing up for extra private training sessions and off-season leagues.

When did it get like this? Didn't there once be a time when kids could casually play sports without worrying about whether they'd be able to get a college scholarship or go pro one day?

One frustrated mom on TikTok is wondering the same thing, and just unleashed a perfect monologue against what she calls the "professionalization" or youth sports.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrensoccer win GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

The mom, who goes by @LittleRedSchoolHouse on social media, has a daughter who takes ballet—and it's driving her to the brink. "My daughter is in dance, and that's great, she loves it. But she doesn't want to be a ballerina, she doesn't want to be a professional dancer. She just likes to go to her class and dance," she says.

Yet, despite the casual nature of the class, the mom suddenly found herself signed up for a whopping three performances in a 24-hour period. The kicker is that her daughter would only be dancing for five minutes in each show.

"We have to be there for 12 hours so she can dance for 15 minutes." And then there's tickets to buy, costume fees, paying for her daughter to be in the performance (a separate fee from the usual tuition!), and a fundraiser to participate in to raise additional money. It's a massive time and financial commitment from the family.

"I think we need to normalize kids being able to participate in activities and extracurriculars without professionalizing them as parents. For example, kids should be able to play soccer without having to go to league championships or weekend-long jamborees or away games," she says. "They should be able to gain the skill of playing on a team, learning how to play a sport, being physical, having fun with their friends, getting out there and being active, without being forced into this, ‘More, more, more, go, go, go, go, you must be the best at it,’ sort of behavior."

You can watch the whole, compelling argument here:


@littleredschoolhouseco

Not to mention that this kind of commitment is difficult for parents or kids with disabilities, and families in general who have more than one kid that participates in activities. When did extra curriculars become so EXTRA? More is not always better! #letthembelittle #homeschoolextracurricular #parenting

Parents poured into the comments to air their own grievances with the current state of youth sports culture:

"Travel teams are SO out of control."

"What’s even crazier is if you don’t commit like this when they’re little they’re almost guaranteed to not make the school teams when they get to it at grade level."

"I think it’s also ruined kids' sense of self-worth and reality. Not everyone can go pro, and that’s okay, and it also makes kids think that only rich kids can go pro."

"Privatization ruins everything. Public rec leagues and classes are age-appropriate, inclusive, and affordable. Kids learn skills and have fun, and they can change activities every season if they want."

Adults aren't immune to this same system and culture. We can't even have hobbies anymore without feeling like we need to somehow monetize them into a side hustle or eventually go pro. So it makes sense that kids aren't allowed to play sports for fun without having big ambitions of playing at the university level. This creates a paradox described well by a Vox article whereby only kids from families with the most resources even have a shot at playing at high levels. Only "semi-rich" families can afford the time and money it takes to stay involved with high-stakes leagues.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrenRunning around, drinking Gatorade, and eating oranges. That's what youth sports should be! Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Some users chimed in to blame parents for pushing too hard and trying to "live vicariously" through their children. But the point of the viral TikTok was that parents are often in a bind where there aren't any more casual options, and they have to choose between high-stakes activities or no activities at all.

Kids who want to obsess over being the best and chase the highest highs of their chosen sport should have those opportunities. But there should also be low-stakes activities available through public parks, churches, the YMCA, and other community centers. Until those options start coming back, kids and parents alike will be paying the price.

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Pets

Woman builds an elaborate hotel in her yard for stray cats to stay cozy through the winter

People are calling it "Hotel Catifornia" and "The Fur Seasons."

Images via Canva

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

When winter comes around, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


Cats live where they want when they want

cats, stray cats, pet cats, felines, kittiesKitten snuggled in a person's arms. Image via Canva.

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

cats, stray cats, feeding cats, feral cats, shelter catsCats eating kibble on the street.Image via Canva

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one of killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Love Stories

After wife's terminal diagnosis, man builds laundry soap device so she can remain independent

A village from around the world showed up online to help him get it perfect.

Photo credit: Canva

Man builds device to help after wife's terminal diagnosis.

When a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it changes everything, including things you may not have yet thought about. As their disease progresses, they're able to do less and less for themselves, sometimes resulting in a spouse being the caregiver for their once healthy partner. But for the ill person, maintaining as much independence as possible for as long as possible can be rewarding.

Artur Zamber recently shared a heartfelt story about his attempt to keep his wife feeling as independent as possible after she was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. The activity she needed assistance with is something that many take for granted: pouring laundry detergent into the cap in order to wash clothes.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessA washing machine. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

"It was the detergent bottle. She couldn’t press the button with both hands anymore. Bone cancer made sure of that. And when I reached over to help her, she flinched. Not because of pain. Because of pride," Zamber writes in his post. "We’ve always been equals, me and her. Forty years of marriage and we’ve never once said 'that’s not my job.' She grew the tomatoes. I built the trellis. She crocheted the blankets. I chopped the wood. We met each other in the middle every single time. But disease…It doesn’t meet you halfway."

It was this realization that caused Zamber to figure out a way to make the laundry soap easier for his wife to dispense on her own. He got some wood and spent hours trying to design a contraption that would allow the soap to be dispensed with one hand As he worked, he quickly realized he may need some assistance. Zamber posted his sketch and explained what he was trying to accomplish in the Tedooo app, an app for hobbyists and crafters to share ideas or sell things. Soon after the desperate husband's initial post, a village of crafters from around the world appeared.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessHobby Lobby Community - Coupons, Finds and Crafters on the Tedooo app | I didn’t build this because I’m handy | Facebookwww.facebook.com

"I posted a rough sketch. Said I was trying to make something for my wife. Didn’t expect much. But my inbox lit up like Christmas. Makers from everywhere Oregon, Croatia, Argentina sent me diagrams, photos, even voice notes walking me through it like we were neighbors," he says.

After working through the design with others, Zamber created a box that holds the laundry soap and tilts forward so his wife can pour it with one hand. The man is adamant he was not trying to "help" his wife or make something "for her," but was instead making something with her in mind so she didn't feel like she needed him to do everything for her.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessMan kissing woman on check beside body of water. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

"We don’t always get to fix what’s broken. But sometimes, we get to honor it. And that’s enough," Zamber shares.

People were moved by the post on social media with one person writing in part, "This is so beautiful. The detergent holder and everything it represents. Your story is resonating with me today in a very unique way."

"Oh my goodness, what sweet, respectful, strong Beautiful Love. Praying for your wife, and for you, seems she is in very loving hands, what a thoughtful way to honor her independence, and help at the same time. What sweet love," another said.

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Parenting

Dad refuses to quit as son with spina bifida bravely walks down step, moving people to tears

"With dad, and God's help, he'll get there."

Cold_Pin8708/Reddit

Dad encourages son with spina bifida during tough physical therapy work.

A little encouragement can go a long way. For father Chase Harris (@chase_chasman), he is his son Bubba's #1 hype man as he battles through grueling physical therapy sessions for spina bifida.

In an inspiring video shared in an online community celebrating people with a hopeful outlook on life, Harris challenges Bubba, who is 7 years old and also has scoliosis, with the utmost patience and gentleness as he attempts to step off a curb—an exercise that is part of his physical therapy work. Community member Cold_Pin8708 wrote, "With dad, and God's help, he'll get there," when he shared the video.

On TikTok, Harris captioned the video himself with, "Bravest boy I know!" In it, Harris stands alongside Bubba as he slowly inches his way to step off the curb. Harris offers guidance on how to position his body and use his strength to maneuver his walker.

@chase_cashman

Bravest boy I know! #fyp #bubbastrong #spinabifidawarrior #fatherson

"Bubba had to overcome his fear with this one," Harris added in the video's caption. He tells Bubba that this move requires "a lot of control." "This can be dangerous for Bubba if he's alone and can't control himself on an incline," he adds.

Bubba slowly steps his way to the curb as his dad tells him to take quick steps. Bubba is afraid, and pauses before stepping off the curb. "It helps if he hears me affirm to him that I won't let him fall," Harris adds in the caption. He tells Bubba, "I've got you. You're not going to fall." And Bubba replies, "Okay. Love you."

@chase_cashman

Moments that are tough #fyp #fatherson #physicaltherapy #spinabifidawarrior #fatherhood

With his dad's encouragement, Bubba steps off the curb and does not fall. "Sometimes you gotta get over your fear like that," he tells Bubba. Bubba is emotional and hugs his dad. "If you won't have tried it, something like that would have had you stuck. But you made it though! That's it. It's over. It's defeated. So move to the next."

People in the online community are singing Harris' praises:

"I love this family! The dad gives the perfect balance between pushing and encouraging but knowing when the kiddo is frustrated and giving him a break. The little boy is such a fighter and works SO hard. I love them."

"Real fathers will be there no matter how tough it gets."

"C’mon! Let’s go little man! 💪🏽💪🏽 move over world here he comes! I hope to one day have half of the fight you have inside myself. Thank you for the motivation! You are loved! Great job dad, the world needs more fathers like you!🫶🏽💪🏽❤️."

Finally, viewer Porfessional_Bake209 shared, "Baby boy did so good - every video I see with them he’s doing so frigging good and I’m always tearing up while sitting on the edge of the couch, cheering and jumping 🥹🥹❤️❤️ and dad is doing such a great job supporting, hyping, catching, helping and describing the tasks to good 🙌🏼 sending them tons of love ❤️."

@chase_cashman

God is good #fyp #spinabifida #bubbastrong

Harris and Bubba have continued to document the ins-and-outs of their daily life with their followers on social media. The family has been sharing Bubba's journey online since he was four years old. "He has always been a fighter. He has come so far," they shared in another video.

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