Parents are opting for this sleepover alternative when kids aren't ready for the real thing
There are many reasons why parents might have a "no sleepover rule." But that doesn't mean kids can't create memorable childhood moments with friends.
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For kids who get separation anxiety, sleepunder might be a great alternative.
Sleepovers are a subject that parents and even experts can’t seem to agree on.
On the one hand, they are seen as opportunities for children to develop independence away from home and create core memories with friends—all the while giving parents some possible quiet time.
On the other hand, the “no sleepover rule” is becoming increasingly popular, as the boundary helps to avoid separation anxiety or thrusting kids into potentially risky, even dangerous environments.
But for parents who want the best of both worlds…the “sleepunder” might be the perfect solution.
So, what exactly is a sleepunder?
Sleepunders are sleepover without actually sleeping over.
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Essentially, a sleepunder, aka “lateover,” is a sleepover, minus actually sleeping over. Kids can still show up in their pajamas, eat snacks, watch movies and play games, all those fun sleepover activities…only when it’s time to go to sleep, parents will pick the kids up so that they can sleep in their own bed at home.
Have to admit—hearing this option immediately puts 10-year-old me, an introverted only child who considered sleeping in a bed that wasn’t my own to be torture, at ease.
According to Erica Komisar, a New York-based psychoanalyst, parenting expert and author, this feeling that I had is certainly not unique.
"Some kids can do sleepovers without any hesitation, while others are less comfortable changing their routine," she told Fox News, saying that sleepunders are a great way of addressing this very real sensitivity that some kids experience in a way that doesn’t compromise having fun or bonding in groups.
Sleepunders can be a great way to transition into actual sleepovers.
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While interviewing with Good Morning America, parenting expert Erika Souter added that sleepunders could be a “great option for parents who don’t culturally understand or agree with the idea of a sleepover.”
“For a lot of people it’s something that they never did or their parents didn't let them do so this is a really good compromise,” she said.
So, in essence, sleepunders could be a great solution to easing both a kid’s and their parent’s potential anxiety.
So, in essence, sleepunders could be a great solution to easing both a kid’s and their parent’s potential anxiety.
As for how to establish a sleepunder routine, Pattie Fitzgerald, founder of Safely Ever After, Inc., has some tips that she provided to Motherly, and a lot of her advice boils down to being firm and clear in your plan, both to other parents, and your child.
Perhaps most importantly, Fitzgerald encourages parents to create a family “safe word,” just in case their child might feel uncomfortable and want to leave early. This is a way to clearly communicate without potentially causing embarrassment.
Parenting is a constant balancing act between protecting kids and allowing them freedom to explore. Sleepunders might not work for everyone, but it’s a great example of creative solutions to striking that balance.
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Men try to read the most disturbing comments women get online back to them.
If you wouldn't say it to their faces, don't type it.
This isn’t comfortable to talk about.
Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.
A recent video by Just Not Sports took two prominent female sportswriters and had regular guys* read the awful abuse they receive online aloud.
Sportswriters Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro sat by as men read some of the most vile tweets they receive on a daily basis. See how long you can last watching it.
*(Note: The men reading them did not write these comments; they're just being helpful volunteers to prove a point.)
It starts out kind of jokey but eventually devolves into messages like this:
Awful.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
These types of messages come in response to one thing: The women were doing their jobs.
Those wishes that DiCaro would die by hockey stick and get raped? Those were the result of her simply reporting on the National Hockey League's most disturbing ordeal: the Patrick Kane rape case, in which one of the league's top players was accused of rape.
DiCaro wasn't writing opinion pieces. She was simply reporting things like what the police said, statements from lawyers, and just general everyday work reporters do. In response, she received a deluge of death threats. Her male colleagues didn't receive nearly the same amount of abuse.
It got to the point where she and her employer thought it best to stay home for a day or two for her own physical safety.
The men in the video seemed absolutely shocked that real live human beings would attack someone simply for doing their jobs.
Not saying it.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
Most found themselves speechless or, at very least, struggling to read the words being presented.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
Think this is all just anecdotal? There's evidence to the contrary.
The Guardian did a study to find out how bad this problem really is.
They did a study of over 70 million comments that have been posted on their site since 2006. They counted how many comments that violated their comment policy were blocked.
The stats were staggering.
From their comprehensive and disturbing article:
If you can’t say it to their face... don’t type it.
All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.
So what can people do about this kind of harassment once they know it exists?
There are no easy answers. But the more people who know this behavior exists, the more people there will be to tell others it's not OK to talk to anyone like that.
Watch the whole video below:
.This article originally appeared on 04.27.16