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Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

millennials, regrets, millennial life lessons
via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Joy

Under or over? There actually is a 'right' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

The debate is settled, once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets. But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. According to health experts and the man who invented the toilet paper roll, there is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper.

What is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper?

First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteToilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)Elya/Wikimedia Commons


So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.

"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."

Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.

Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.

toilet paper, empty toilet paper roll, batthroom, bathroom etiquette, over or underEmpty toilet paper roll.via Canva/Photos

And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."

Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.

But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteThe toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.Public Domain


In Wheeler's patent, the perforated toilet paper hangs on a roll in the "over" position. In the words of the patent, the sheets of TP are “partially separated, having their points of attachment arranged in a novel manner, whereby each sheet will easily separate from the series as it is drawn from the roll, there being no litter occasioned, and any waste of paper is thereby prevented.”

Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.

If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.

That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.

Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

We're giving you the small things that make us smile, every single week

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Hey, have you heard? Life is kind of stressful. Between a news cycle that just won’t quit and the never-ending temptation to doom-scroll, finding small moments of joy throughout the day has become more important than ever.

Case in point: A dog wearing sunglasses.

A news headline that makes you want to high-five a million angels.

A sweet snack that boosts your dopamine, courtesy of our friends at All In.

Or a tweet so perfectly timed it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second).



These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. We'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to laugh? Have your heart melted? Cry happy tears? Let's get into it.

1. Petunia the pig

@knightk64 #petuniathepig#fyp#babypig#alltheprettygirls#animallove ♬ original sound - petuniathepig1

With over nine million views on a single video alone, you know there’s got to be something special about Petunia the Pig. And there is. Behold: the tiniest, most adorable pig we’ve ever laid eyes on. Abandoned by her pig mother, Petunia is a spotted teacup pig who was taken in by TikTok user @knightk64, and we’re all the better for it. She snorts (squeaks) constantly. She tippy-taps across the floor. She takes long naps nestled in her favorite blanket. And she now even has an adopted teacup pig sister named Rosie. Not to be dramatic, but we’d die for this pig.

2. Pop Muzik dances 

@ptpowers Everyone’s #foryoupage the @project21 dance or just us? #dad #baby #dance #fyp #trending ♬ Pop Muzik - M & Robin Scott

Remember when TikTok used to be a dancing app? The dance trends are making a comeback now in the best way—and this new trend is the most fun we’ve seen people having on this app in a while.

The trend started when a mega-talented group of girls from the Project 21 dance studio performed at the NYCDA 2025 dance competition in Las Vegas back in early April. Not only did the girls nab some of the highest awards at the competition, their recorded performance quickly went viral. The song choice? The 1979 classic “Pop Muzik.” The dance? Impossible to look away from. (Here’s a short clip of the girls in all their glory.)

While the original dance is just so fun to watch, what might be even more fun is seeing all the copycat performances and tutorials that have been launched across TikTok ever since. If this doesn’t make you want to get up and dance, nothing will.

3. Seeking out the extra in the ordinary 

There are so many beautiful moments each day that are worth noticing, and the folks at All In are out to help us recognize them. Each week, the All In crew takes to the streets to find the "extra" in the ordinary—small moments of joy that make a typical day just a little bit brighter. Today's moment of joy? Finding community and feeling like you're part of something really special. Can't get much better than that.

4. This tweet series about COVID lockdowns 

Back in 2023, a study in the British Medical Journal made headlines when it claimed that the COVID lockdowns of 2020 only “minimally” affected people’s mental health. As you can probably guess, when news of the study hit Twitter, people were not having it.

Cue one of the funniest and most eye-opening discussions of mental health we’ve possibly ever had as a society. Thousands of people took to the Internet to quote-tweet the article, sharing the most unhinged things they did while stuck in the confines of their house or bedroom, such as: Learning how to play a recorder with one nostril. Watching Glee 26 times in a row. Throwing a birthday party for the dishwasher. The list goes on.

As the fifth year anniversary of COVID lockdowns just passed, these tweets are circulating again. They’re funny, they’re raw, and they shine a spotlight on the effects of isolation on mental health in a way that’s never been done before. Here’s part one of a series, and here are some more. Enjoy!

5. Thirst edits featuring regular people

@coreymbrandon thank you 🥹 @Chili’s Grill & Bar #chilis #CapCut ♬ som original - helo

Here’s where the writer of this article shows her age and admits that, before this trend, she had no idea what a thirst edit was. Allow us to break it down for you: According to ChatGPT, a thirst edit is a video (or series of short videos), usually with specific music or text overlays, created to be seductive and attention grabbing. (Kinda like this, only set to music.)

This new trend takes a normal thirst edit and flips it on its head. Instead of trying to seduce the audience, people are now using thirst traps to romanticize daily life—stuff like eating mozzarella sticks at Chili’s, or hanging out by the pool—or to cheekily boost their own confidence. Set to the song “My Bubble Gum” by Rasheeda, this trend is just normal, everyday people absolutely feeling themselves and celebrating ordinary life. We love to see it.


For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Education

Simple '30-second rule' can help you win every conversation, even if you're a little awkward

You only have to remember one thing.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

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There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

Many people who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page. Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

conversation, fun office, men and woman, funny conversation, jokes, levityA group of coworkers having a laugh.via Canva/Photos

What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

date, conversation, laughs, jokes, salads, dinner, restaurant, cafeA man and woman joking on a date.via Canva/Photos

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

encouragement, poeple in blue shirts, luaghs, my bad, smiles, supportive peopleA man making a joke with other people in blue shirts.via Canva/Photos

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

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Billionaire Mark Cuban reveals the secret to his success comes down to one simple habit

It's all about your mindset.

via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Mark Cuban speaking at a business roundtable hosted by the Kamala Harris for President campaign at Ocotillo in Phoenix, Arizona on October 19, 2024.

Knowledge is one of the only things people can’t take from you. You can lose your possessions, relationships, and money, but what’s between your ears is pretty much forever. The great thing is that we can continue learning new skills and information throughout our lives. However, some folks get stuck because they feel they don’t have the drive to learn new skills or the ability to develop them. A lot of the time, these barriers were built by our own design.

Billionaire Mark Cuban says the key to success is the ability to continue evolving and learning new skills. Cuban is an entrepreneur, investor, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, and star of ABC's Shark Tank. In a 2021 interview with Men's Health, he explained the secret to his success.

What's the secret to Mark Cuban’s success?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"When you’re first starting—you may or may not have a job, you don’t have any money, you’re [uncertain] about your career. What I learned early on is that if I put in the effort, I can learn almost anything. It may take me a long time, but by putting in the effort, I taught myself technology. I taught myself to program. It was time-consuming—painfully so—but that investment in myself has paid dividends for the rest of my life. And the fact that I recognized that learning was truly a skill, and that by continuing to learn to this day, I'm able to compete and keep up and get ahead of most people. Because the reality is most people don't put in the time to keep up and learn, and that's always given me a competitive advantage.”


The empowering thing about Cuban’s advice is that it can help just about anyone, regardless of their economic status. In most cases, people can teach themselves valuable skills that can help them get a job or go out on their own with very little, if any, money. The key is to believe in yourself enough that you can learn the skill and to persevere, no matter the setbacks.

The problem is that we often hold ourselves back by telling ourselves that we aren’t smart enough or don’t have the talent to learn certain skills. When, in reality, we have everything we need to learn something new, we’ve just talked ourselves out of it.

What is a growth mindset?

Carol Dweck, a researcher who focuses on human motivation, says that it all comes down to whether we have a fixed or growth mindset. Those who have a fixed mindset and have a hard time picking up new skills believe that their skill set cannot be improved. They may think they're good at athletics but aren’t great at math, so they stick to sports instead of teaching themselves how the stock market works.

new skill, labor, woman in hard hat, drill press, factoryA woman in a hard hat.via Canva/Photos

However, other people, such as Cuban, have a growth mindset and believe they can expand and change beyond how they see themselves in the current moment. “There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens,” Dweck writes in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. “The hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.

Dweck believes that we can break into a growth mindset by harnessing the power of “not yet.” Let’s say you’ve always wanted to play guitar but told yourself that you’re “not musical,” so you haven’t picked up the instrument. The key is to say to yourself, “I’m not yet musical, but I have an eye on the goal of becoming so."

Adopting the “not yet” mentality helps you understand you're on a learning curve. "It gives you a glimpse into the future," Dweck said. Learn more about developing a growth mindset and achieving your goals in her TED Talk, “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve,” posted below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Actor Neal McDonough brings cowboy grit and faith to the silver screen in 'The Last Rodeo'

"My faith has a huge part in everything that I do," McDonough tells Upworthy.

Courtesy of Angel Studios

Actor Neal McDonough stars in the new Angel Studios movie 'The Last Rodeo'.

Actor Neal McDonough is finally a leading man in his most recent film, The Last Rodeo. Released by Angel Studios (known for the 2023 hit film Sound of Freedom), its the third film McDonogh has starred in with the company, including The Shift (2023) and Homestead (2024).

McDonough, 59, produced and co-wrote the film alongside his writing partner Derek Presley. Once the film was given the greenlight, he knew there was only one director he wanted behind the camera: Jon Avnet.

“he Last Rodeo is really our baby,” McDonough tells Upworthy. “(Avnet) took a chance on me in Boomtown 25 years ago, took another chance on me in Justified, took another chance on me in 88 Minutes with Al Pacino,” he says, adding that he will “get choked up” if he keeps talking about the greatness of Avnet and the work he did with the story and imagery.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

McDonough plays a retired bull rider named Joe Wainwright, whose legendary career ended after a severe neck and back injury in a riding accident. When Wainright’s grandson is diagnosed with a brain tumor, he chooses to exit retirement and undergo a Rocky-esque training journey to compete in the Professional Bull Riding (PBR) Legends Championship with hopes of winning the million dollar prize to help pay for his grandson’s treatment. (McDonough’s wife, Ruvé, also stars in the film as his wife, Rose.)

“If you love bull riding, you’re going to lose your mind when you see this,” says McDonough.

Avnet praised McDonough for his grit and determination to bring a broken character to screen as a leading man. “I believed he was the successor to Clint Eastwood, Gary Cooper, John Wayne–pick ‘em,” Avnet tells Upworthy. “Neal has played villains and tough characters most of his life, and he does it as well as anybody.

McDonough notes that The Last Rodeo touches on “the fractured relationships that we all go through in life and how we mend and build them back up through strength and faith.”

Known for his Christian faith (“God first, me second. Family first, me second,” he explains), McDonough references how real-life career setbacks and struggles that impacted his role in The Last Rodeo.

“Years ago I went through a very hard thing where I wouldn’t do intimate scenes in a show and I got fired. For two years I was just wallowing in self pity and drinking way too much whiskey, making it selfishly about my pain and torture–not realizing that I was really hurting my wife and my kids at the same time,” he says. “I thought I was masking it. I didn’t think anyone knew. But it’s easy when everyone sees your house being taken away from you, your car’s being taken away–everyone knows that you’re struggling. I just wouldn’t admit it.”

One day he said to God, “Why have you forgotten all about me?” And within minutes, it was clear that He hadn’t. McDonough received a call from Avnet asking him to play the bad guy that season in Justified, changing the trajectory of his Hollywood career.

“Ever since that moment, I have taken every role that I’ve had and treated it like a heavyweight championship. This is my prize fight. This is my big shot. I’m not going to let anybody down. And that’s my work ethic when it comes to doing film. So my faith has a huge part in everything that I do. Everything that I write, everything that I act in.”

That determination came with him to set. In The Last Rodeo, McDonough also shares his first onscreen kiss with wife Ruvé, making a full-circle moment.

“Our goal was not to make a faith-based film. It was to make a great film,” McDonough says. “That being said, we wanted to have a backdrop of not just bull riding, but a backdrop of faith. It’s not over the top or too preachy. It doesn’t matter if you’re Christian, Jewish, Agnostic, Muslim, Buddhist–we want you to go to the theater and watch a great film."

The film opened in theatres over Memorial Day weekend, earning nearly $7 million at the box office. It is currently playing in select theatres. Check here for showtimes here.

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