upworthy
Pop Culture

Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

millennials, regrets, millennial life lessons
via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Planet

Enter this giveaway for a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're teaming up with Ocean Wise to give you the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner, catching waves with surf lessons, or grooving to a concert by the beach, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:

  • Go to ocean.org/date and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.s. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Staycation + Surf Lesson

Hang ten on the ultimate ocean date! Whether you're beginners or seasoned surfers, a cozy stay by the ocean and surf lessons will have you riding the waves and making unforgettable memories together.


2. A Year of Netflix

Get cozy and explore the wonders of the ocean right from your couch! Whether you're diving into breathtaking documentaries or finally watching My Octopus Teacher, enjoy a full year of streaming on us.

3. BeachLife Festival Tickets

Soak up the sun and enjoy Lenny Kravitz, Sublime, Alanis Morissette, and more at BeachLife Festival May 2-4, 2025. Celebrate your love for music and sea at the LA’s Premier Beach Music Festival!

4. Private Cooking Lesson with Michelin-starred Chef

Learn how to make a delicious meal with Matthew Kammerer who has earned a Michelin green star due to his commitment to sustainability in addition to two Michelin stars for his restaurant - Harbor House Inn.

5. Dinner for Two at Wrench and Rodent

Sustainable seafood isn’t just delicious, it’s an excellent way to combat overfishing. Enjoy dinner for two at the incredible Wrench and Rodent, courtesy of Chef Davin Waite in San Diego, California. Wow your date with both a delicious meal and the knowledge you’re supporting a healthy, thriving ocean!


Giveaway ends 2/11/25 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at ocean.org/date

Joy

Single woman shares the hilarious 'deal breaker' she uses when she doesn't want a second date

Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

How Jo Brundza gets out of a date.

It's uncomfortable for people to tell someone they met for a first date that they aren’t interested in a second one because nobody enjoys hurting another person’s feelings. TikToker Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

How does she do it? Once she realizes she doesn’t want to see them again, she rants about the moon.

“From that realization and on, I spend the rest of the date trying to convince the other person that I don’t think the moon is real,” she says. Now, many folks out there incorrectly believe that the moon landing was faked, but she goes a step further by saying the massive celestial object doesn’t exist at all.

“They’re typically too stunned to argue back,” she says.

@jbrundz

They’re typically too stunned to argue back #fyp #dating #funny #bits

In a follow-up video, Brundza outlines the three arguments she uses to prove that the moon isn’t real:

1. If you know, you know

"I just think it's ridiculous that all these billionaires are going up into space. I mean, when they get up there, what do they expect to be there, or not be up there?"

2. False evidence

"Look, I'm just saying that if you look at the science of how light refraction works when it enters the atmosphere, it would bend it in a way that to the naked eye would look like solid mass, but it's not. Also, at the end of the day, do you know anyone who has actually been to the moon?"

3. Blame Greenland

"Eighty percent of the island is covered in ice and uninhabitable. You're really gonna tell me that's not where the projectors are? Actually, now that I think about it, do you personally know anyone who's ever been to Greenland?"

@jbrundz

Replying to @TySpice Bonus points if you can somehow work in that the sun is fake too #fyp #funny #bits

Works like a charm.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

OriginalAll photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

Chloé was born at 32 weeks.

Every single day, babies across the world are born prematurely, which means that they're born before 37 weeks of gestation.

In Canada, about 29,000 infants are born prematurely each year, roughly 1 in every 13. But in the United States, around 400,000 to 500,000 are born early. That's about 1 in every 8 to 10 babies born in the U.S.!

Red Méthot, a Canadian photographer and student, decided to capture the resilience of many of these kids for a school photography project.

He's the father of two prematurely born kids himself, so the topic is important to him.

"My son was born at 29 weeks and my daughter at 33 weeks," he told Upworthy a phone interview. "These are the kind of pictures I would like to have seen when my first child was born — they've been through that, and they are great now."

Méthot said he knows not all preemie stories have a happy ending—one of his photos features a child whose twin passed away after they were born prematurely—but for so many kids who come early, they go on to experience a great life.

Meet several of the beautiful kids he photographed:

a little girl holds a black and white photograph of herself as a premature baby

1. Lexiani, born at 25 weeks

Original. All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

twin boys hold black and white photo of themselves as premature babies

2. Noah and Nathan, born at 32 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a little girl holds a black and white photograph of herself as a premature baby

3. Margot, born at 29 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a little boy holds a black and white photograph of himself as a premature baby

4. Thomas, born at 23 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

siblings each hold  black and white photographs of themselves as premature babies

5. Samuel, born at 36 weeks, and his sister Alice, born at 27 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a little girl holds a black and white photograph of herself as a premature baby

6. Éva, born at 29 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a little boy holds a black and white photograph of himself as a premature baby

7. Charles, born at 26 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a girl holds a black and white photograph of herself as a premature baby

8. Chloé, born at 32 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

siblings each hold  black and white photographs of themselves as premature babies

10. Felix, born at 23 weeks, and his brother Alexis, born at almost 33 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a  young boy holds a black and white photograph of himself and his deceased twin sister as premature babies

11. Noah, born at 32 weeks; his twin sister, Victoria (on the left in the framed picture), passed away when she was one month old

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a little girl holds a black and white photograph of herself as a premature baby

12. Juliette, born at 30 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

three siblings each hold  black and white photographs of themselves as premature babies

14. Olivier, born at 31 weeks, his sister Ariane, born at 33 weeks, and their brother Noah, born at 34 weeks.

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a young boy holds a black and white photograph of himself as a premature baby

15. Émile, born at 26 weeks

Orignal.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

a young boy holds a black and white photograph of himself as a premature baby

16. Théo, born at 25 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

twin siblings hold black and white photo of themselves as premature babies

17. Charles-Antoine and Mara, born at 27 weeks

Original.All photos belong to Red Méthot, who gave me permission to share them here.

Méthot's school project originally consisted of 10 photos, but the reaction has been so positive and he's enjoyed taking them so much, he continued adding to the collection.

Currently, he has captured 50 images. (You can view them all in the album on his Facebook page!). Méthot told Upworthy that his favorite part of the project has been meeting the subjects.

"Each time I meet a new person, I [learn] about a new story," he said.

And I think we can all agree that Méthot is a wonderful storyteller through his photography. Between his photos showing the bright future so many premature babies have and the loss of others, he captures reality beautifully.


This article originally appeared ten years ago.


Popular

The laughably worst haircuts that have perfectly defined 6 different generations

History is great. But sometimes hairstyles tell us everything.

Each generation has a top and bottom cut. Let's see 'em.

When actress Sash Striga (@sashstriga on TikTok) went in for a "cool girl chic" tweak to a haircut she had gotten five days earlier, things did not go as planned. "Very flirty, very flowy," she told the stylist as they discussed making her already short hair a bit "shorter in the back" and "less wide on the sides."

"I can do that," he confidently answered. But after a long while of snipping (and then clipping!), Sash took to TikTok to describe the moment she saw him turn ghostly pale, possibly realizing he'd made a few mistakes.

In her video, she recounts the story while wearing a grey beanie. When she finally removes it, she reveals what can only be described as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl Manic Pixie Dream Girl gone horribly wrong. But her pure joy in the awfulness of it all is delightful to watch, and a good reminder that it will always grow back.

@sashstriga

I’m more mad at myself than anything tbh 🫠 #badhairday #badhaircut #toronto #torontolife #fyp #hairstyle #hair #badhaircutcheck

While all of these unfortunate trends have or will be recycled through different generations, take a look at what might arguably be the worst hair trends since the '40s!


The Silent Generation: The Bouffant

marge simpson pulling atbouffant her hairfrustrated marge simpson GIFGiphy

If you were born in the later part of this generation (say, 1943), you'd be just the right age to wear this wacky hairdo to a high school dance. There couldn’t possibly be enough hairspray or teasing combs for this up-do to reach the heavens. And yet, that never stopped anyone from trying.


Baby Boomers: The Shag

woman with shag haircutGIF by SliceGiphy

A Baby Boomer born smack-dab in the middle of their generation might have started caring about their hairstyle around 1970. This was the BEST time for hair and the Shag had it all: the bouncy middle part, the sexy curtain bangs—everything. Even the edgier cuts like The Shag were kinda hot. But even hot haircuts can turn cold with the wrong scissors.


Gen X: The Mullet

a man with a mullet fist pumping Happy Seann William Scott GIFGiphy

This "business in the front, party in the back" hairstyle is nothing new. In fact, it has been stated by historian Suetonius that "the Roman emperor Tiberius 'wore his hair rather long at the back, so much so as even to cover the nape of his neck,' and that this was a tradition of his family, the Claudians."

Technically, Boomers also bear responsibility for the mullet, but it was the Xers who really made it sing.

The '80s had so many outrageous hair choices that this category gets two entries:


Also Gen X: The Rattail

gif of men with rattails square pegs 80s GIF by absurdnoiseGiphy

Something strange emerged in the '80s. Well, a lot of strange things came about, but somewhere, some hairdresser woke up and said, "Yes, we will leave a piece of hair hanging, and sometimes, we might even braid it."


Millennials: The Bowl Cut

man shaking out his bowl cutHappy Haircut GIF by Australian Ninja WarriorGiphy

We saw the odd The Three Stooges"Moe" cut on Sash, who is technically a young millennial, just missing the cusp of a Gen Z-er by two years. At least it was a nice update to the traditionally awful "bowl cut." But it was the millennials who brought this unfortunate look back in the early '90s.


Gen Z: The Broccoli Cut (aka the Zoomer Perm)

The Broccoli Cut is..,something Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Imagine thinking this is a good idea: "We'll cut the sides real short, and leave it long on top. Sure, that works. But wait! Then we'll PERM the top and let it just sit there." For some reason, in the UK, this was renamed the "Meet me at McDonald's haircut," and it's so disturbing that some schools have even banned it. Many Zoomers disagree, though, and it's still quite a popular look on TikTok.

This isn’t comfortable to talk about.


Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.


in 2016, a video by Just Not Sports took two prominent female sportswriters and had regular guys* read the awful abuse they receive online aloud.

Sportswriters Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro sat by as men read some of the most vile tweets they receive on a daily basis. See how long you can last watching it.

*(Note: The men reading them did not write these comments; they're just being helpful volunteers to prove a point.)

It starts out kind of jokey but eventually devolves into messages like this:

gif of man reading a Tweet that says, "I hope you get raped again."

Awful.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

These types of messages come in response to one thing: The women were doing their jobs.

Those wishes that DiCaro would die by hockey stick and get raped? Those were the result of her simply reporting on the National Hockey League's most disturbing ordeal: the Patrick Kane rape case, in which one of the league's top players was accused of rape.

DiCaro wasn't writing opinion pieces. She was simply reporting things like what the police said, statements from lawyers, and just general everyday work reporters do. In response, she received a deluge of death threats. Her male colleagues didn't receive nearly the same amount of abuse.

It got to the point where she and her employer thought it best for her to stay home for a day or two for her own physical safety.

The men in the video seemed absolutely shocked that real live human beings would attack someone simply for doing their job.

gif of a man saying, 'I don't think I can even say that."

Not saying it.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

Most found themselves speechless or, at very least, struggling to read the words being presented.

gif of a man saying, "Sorry that these were directed toward you."

It evoked shame and sympathy.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

Think this is all just anecdotal? There's evidence to the contrary.

The Guardian did a study to find out how bad this problem really is. They combed through more than 70 million comments that have been posted on their site since 2006 and counted the number of comments that violated their comment policy and were blocked.

The stats were staggering.

From their comprehensive and disturbing article:

"Although the majority of our regular opinion writers are white men, we found that those who experienced the highest levels of abuse and dismissive trolling were not. The 10 regular writers who got the most abuse were eight women (four white and four non-white) and two black men. Two of the women and one of the men were gay. And of the eight women in the 'top 10', one was Muslim and one Jewish.

And the 10 regular writers who got the least abuse? All men."
gif that reads, "We wouldn't say it to their faces. So let's not type it."

If you can’t say it to their face... don’t type it.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

So, what can people do about this kind of harassment once they know it exists?

  1. To start? Share things that make people aware it's happening. Listen to the Just Not Sports podcast where they talk about it.
  2. If you know someone who talks like this to anyone on the Internet, CALL THEM OUT. Publicly, privately—just let them know it's not OK to talk to anyone like this.
  3. Don't stop talking about it. Every day, the harassment continues. Don't let it linger without attention.

There are no easy answers. But the more people who know this behavior exists, the more people there will be to tell others it's not OK to talk to anyone like that.

Watch the whole video below:

.This article originally appeared nine years ago.


Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim and Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi celebrate sharing the gold medal in high jump.

At the 2020 Tokyo Olympics when Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim and Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi both landed their high jumps at 2.37 meters, they were in the battle for Olympic gold. But when both jumpers missed the next mark—the Olympic record of 2.39 meters—three times each, they were officially tied for first place.

In such a tie, the athletes would usually do a "jump-off" to determine who wins gold and who wins silver. But as the official began to explain the options to Barshim and Tamberi, Barshim asked, "Can we have two golds?"

"It's possible," the official responded. "It depends, if you both decide..." And before he'd even told them how sharing the gold would work, the two jumpers looked at each other, nodded, and then launched into a wholesome and joyful celebration guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Just watch:

(If you are unable to view the video above, check it out on NBC's YouTube channel here.)

The two jumpers have been competing against one another for more than a decade and are friends on and off the field, so getting to share the gold is a win-win—literally—for both of them. It's also a historic choice. According to the BBC, the last time competing track and field Olympians shared the gold medal podium was in 1912 during the Stockholm Summer Games.

The friendship and camaraderie between the two athletes are palpable and their immediate decision to share the gold truly embodies the Olympic spirit.

"I look at him, he looks at me, and we know it," Barshim said, according to the CBC. "We just look at each other and we know, that is it, it is done. There is no need."

"He is one of my best friends," he added, "not only on the track, but outside the track. We work together. This is a dream come true. It is the true spirit, the sportsman spirit, and we are here delivering this message."

Barshim was the silver medalist in the event in the Rio 2016 Olympics, and Tamberi suffered a career-threatening injury prior to those games, which took him out of medal contention.

"After my injuries, I just wanted to come back," Tamberi told CNN. "But now I have this gold, it's incredible. I dreamed of this so many times. I was told in 2016 just before Rio, there was a risk I wouldn't be able to compete anymore. It's been a long journey."

What a beautiful display of sportsmanship, excellence, and genuine human connection. This is what the Olympics are all about.


This article originally appeared four years ago.