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People are loving this 29-year-old's hot take on why millennials aren't having kids

A bit of catharsis for al the childless cat people out there.

kids, having kids, childfree, millennials
Photo credit: Canva

Many millennials can't afford a house, let alone starting a family.

Despite a short-lived pandemic baby boom, birth rates are at an all time low in the US. There are, of course, myriad factors contributing to this complex issue, but when those factors are flattened down into bite-sized conservative talking points, it is the generational selfishness and disrespect to traditional American values of millennials that’s really to blame.

However, one heated millennial is countering that for many folks in their age group, having kids is simply not financially possible.

Twenty-nine-year-old Charlie Fitzgerald (she/they/he) didn’t hold back as they declared "it absolutely baffles me that the government is pretending like they don't know why we're not having kids because, frankly, it is glaringly obvious.”

In the now-viral clip, Fitzgerald noted how heavily inflation has affected basic necessities for families like groceries, baby formula, diapers, childcare. Giving birth in the United States, they noted “averages at around $14000.” According to the Peterson-Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) Health System Tracker, that average is more like just a few bucks shy of $19,000.

As Fitzgerald pointed out, for the 73% of millennials already living paycheck to paycheck from mostly entry level work, likely also paying off college debt which in no way, shape or form guaranteed them gainful employment…this is pretty much impossible.

And since poverty traps do exist, those who are born into struggling families often have a much harder time getting access to education and other resources that can actually help them escape poverty. Or, as Fitzgerald put it, “when you're born poor in this country, you're probably gonna die poor, and your kids are gonna be in the same boat. I don't want that for my kid."

Viewer, be warned. There are a few f-bombs dropped here and there.


@jimmyego Why aren't millennials having kids? #millennial #4B ♬ original sound - Definitely Not Charlie


Fitzgerald also went into the lack of maternity leave offered for new parents, saying that many jobs don’t offer adequate leave time, or parents can’t afford to take the time off. "Then you've got to pay for childcare, which is outrageous. In the state that I live in, the average cost of just daycare is $15.77 an hour," they said. "When you are making as little money as millennials are, childcare is literally inaccessible."

And sadly, not being able to afford to take care of a kid gets labeled as “neglect”, resulting in severe consequences, including families getting separated. "Say baby formula wasn't available in your area, so you couldn't afford to feed your kids, so you get slapped with neglect charges. That company that couldn't provide the baby formula faces absolutely no repercussions."

One of Fitzgerald’s final points is a fairly basic one: the housing crisis. "How many millennials do you know who own their own house?" they asked, saying that most folks of their age group "are renters or live with our parents or live with a pile of roommates." And with no real certainty that things will change, their stance is "I don't wanna bring a child into a situation where I'm not sure I'm gonna have somewhere to live in a year." Fair, fair.

In conclusion, Fitzgerald said, "It's not that we don't wanna have kids. A lot of us do. In fact, I would love to have a kid with my wife, but I'm not gonna have a kid in this country right now. I'm not."

And they are certainly not alone in that sentiment. Tons of comments came rolling in from people who shared similar thoughts and experiences. Below is just a small snippet.

“People ask me whether I want kids and I’m like ‘that’s irrelevant because I can’t afford to make that choice. It’s been made for me.’”

“I had a coworker come back to work 3 days after she gave birth. She couldn’t afford the time off.”

“The only millennial I know with a house AND kids? They have a supporting family and generational wealth. Most of us don’t get that.”

“My parents always screamed ‘if you can’t feed em, don’t breed em’ my entire childhood. Ok, bet.”

“When people say ‘money doesn’t solve your problems’ I’m gonna show them this video.”

Of course, there are plenty of folks who have chosen to go childfree because they are happier that way. But, as Fitzgerald and many other millennials can attest, many simply don’t have the choice to anymore.

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Millennial mom asks her own mom about raising a kid in the 80s and is mortified

"What did you do without Google?!"

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.


This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

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motherood
Family

Ring doorbell video captures the phenomenon of what it's like to be the default parent

Millions of us know what it's like to be the "default parent."

commons.wikimedia.org
File:Door knocking for Jody Wilson Raybould (48911105817).jpg ...

Kids, man. I'm not sure of the scientific way audacity is distributed, but kids have a lot of it and somehow make it cute. That audacity overload is especially interesting when you're the default parent—you know, the parent kids go to for literally everything as if there's not another fully capable adult in the house. Chances are if your children haven't sought you out while you were taking a shower so you could open up a pack of fruit snacks, then you're not the default parental unit.

One parent captured exactly what it's like to be the default parent and shared it to TikTok, where the video has over 4 million views. Toniann Marchese went on a quick grocery run and *gasp* did not inform her children. Don't you fret, they're modern kids who know how to use modern means to get much-needed answers when mom is nowhere to be found. They went outside and rang the doorbell.

Back when we were children, this would've done nothing but make the dogs bark, but for Marchese's kids, who are 3 and 6 years old, it's as good as a phone call.

You may be questioning why this mom left her two young children home alone. She didn't. Their father was home, likely wondering why the children were playing so quietly. But. He. Was. Right. There. And the kids still bypassed him to talk to their mom through the Ring doorbell camera. It was pressing business, after all.

"My tablet is dead," the 3-year-old said.

The kids ignored Marchese's questions about where their dad was and continued to complain about their tablets. The entire situation is enough to make any default parent chuckle and maybe sob a little.

Watch the urgent doorbell call below:

@tinyann22

Moms can never get a minute of peace lol #momsoftiktok #momlife #ring #camera #kidsoftiktok

And if you're skeptical that dad was within shouting distance, the mom of two uploaded a part two where dad comes into the frame.

@tinyann22

Replying to @iustmerlp part 2… daddy was found! Lol #kidsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #fyp #ring #prioritiesfirst

This article originally appeared on 3.22.23

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parenting
Culture

Guy starts singing a Sam Cooke song at the barbershop and blows everyone away

With 7 million views on TikTok alone, Shawn Louisiana's incredible viral video is a must-see.

Shawn Louisiana/YouTube

Sometimes a person opens their mouth to sing, and magic happens. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what qualities make a voice transcend the average and transfix an audience, but we know it when we hear it.

Enter Shawn Louisiana.

A video of him singing in a barbershop has gone viral and it's definitely worth a watch. He wrote on YouTube, "The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song," but when he started singing "A Change is Gonna Come," he definitely proved that he could. Really well. Like, whoa.

Watch:

The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song #achangegonnacomewww.youtube.com

There's a reason that video has gotten nearly 7 million views on TikTok alone.

Louisiana frequently shares videos of himself just singing casually for the camera, and I don't understand why this man's talent is not more well known yet.

I mean, just listen to this "Stand By Me" cover. Like butter. Sing me to sleep, sir.

Stand By Me - Ben E. King cover #tiktokwww.youtube.com

His Instagram account says he's available to book for weddings. That's nice, but someone please get this man a record deal so we can listen to him croon all day.

For more from Shawn Louisiana, follow him on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.


This article originally appeared on 9.1.21

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Joy

Photographer doesn't force young girls to smile in photos and the results are powerful

“Allow girls to show up, take up space and not smile if they don’t want to.”

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash
two girls in shirts posing for photo

The expectation to put on an air of happy, fun, pleasant nonconfrontation through baring teeth, otherwise known as smiling, is something many, if not most, women know very well. What’s more, this pressure is often introduced to women at a very early age.

And obviously, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with naturally being a happy, smiling person, issues arise when kids are taught that being themselves, just as they are, isn’t acceptable.

That’s why people are so impressed with North Carolina-based photographer Brooke Light’s (@bdlighted on TikTok) hands-off approach when it comes to taking pictures of young girls.

Her philosophy is simple, but oh so poignant: Allow girls to show up, take up space, and perhaps most importantly, not smile if they don’t want to.

Light posted a video showing some of her recent portraits, and truly, the work speaks for itself. Each of the girls’ distinct, unique personalities shine in these black-and-white images. Plus the lighting is moody and artsy and cool as hell. So much better than a forced, cheesy, smiling pic.

Take a look:

@bdlighted never underestimate the power of a photoshoot for your kids confidence #moodymini #kidsphotographer #childrensphotography #portraitphotographer #confidenceboost #kidsconfidence #familyphotoshootideas #familyphotoshoots #studiophotography #blackandwhitephoto #girlpower #girlempowerment #donttellmetosmile #momsofgirls #girlmom #greenscreen ♬ Little Girl Gone - CHINCHILLA

Comments began flooding in commending Light for how she authentically portrayed the girls as individuals, rather than producing cookie-cutter images of them.

“I love how they are not trying to be anything ‘extra’ just their own raw and savage selves,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I can feel their power through my phone.”

Light redirected the praise toward her clients, saying, “They are even more amazing in person! Like that vibe you feel is ALL THEM. I’m just there capturing it.”

For many women who had their own memories of being told to smile for photos, seeing the images had a profound effect.

“CHILLS! This healed something in me. Thank you.” one person commented.

“The Sears family photo trauma was REAL” wrote another.

And for the record, Light doesn’t make boys smile either. Here’s the proof in her follow-up video:

@bdlighted these mom's got me blushing in my DMs 🫣📸 I've never had my creativity or my photography validated so much in my life. thank you for the outpouring of love on these photos this week. it's meant more than you can ever know. #boymom #boymoms #moodymini #familyphotoshoots #familyphotoshootideas #portraitphotographer#studiophotography#kidsphotographer#kidsconfidence #childrensphotography #greenscreen ♬ Area Codes - Kali

In the post, Light shared how touched she was by the overwhelmingly positive response.

“I’ve never had my creativity or my photography validated so much in my life. Thank you for the outpouring of love on these photos this week. It’s meant more than you can ever know,” she wrote.

Imagine that…celebrating others for their authentic selves, then being celebrated yourself. Now that’s something worth smiling for.


This article originally appeared on 6.2.23

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Joy

Woman adopts a blind senior dog and spoils him for 28 days before putting him to sleep

“I fell so in love. He is just one of the most beautiful dogs I've ever seen, inside and out.”

via Helena Lopes/Pexels

Representative image of a senior dog.


A TikTok video by Kate Schakols has been seen over 100 million times because it is a touching example of empathy and human kindness. It also shows that a dog who’s lived a life of hardship can find joy and peace when given a loving home.

Schakols and her family fell in love with Rooster, a dog that was estimated to be between 10 to 12 years old, at the Gulf Coast STARS rescue in 2020 and adopted him. Rooster was blind in one eye, had benign lumps and most of his elbow pads and teeth were worn down from digging in concrete for food.

"The bond I had with Rooster was unreal," she told People. "I'd never felt that specific type of connection before, and it was obvious to everyone that he had chosen me to be his person."

Sadly, after 28 days, Rooster developed dog bloat and had to be humanely euthanized. Even though their time together was far too short, Schakols was happy to have comforted Rooster in his final days. She told their brief but touching story in a slideshow video from Rooster’s perspective.

TikTok · Millie_Archie

TikTok · Millie_Archie

www.tiktok.com

By telling the story from Rooster’s point of view, Schakols shows the incredible empathy and understanding she shared with the dog. It also gives people who may not be considering adopting a senior dog, an idea of what it means for an older dog to live in comfort in their final days.

"There’s so many stories of dogs being adopted but passing soon after and I think they finally felt peace and comfort and safe to let themselves go," BekahjO2 wrote in the comments. "It’s like he held on until he could feel love and joy. When he did he was finally at peace and able to cross the rainbow bridge," Mickey added.


This article originally appeared on 4.24.24

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