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17 photos of animals that prove there's nothing natural about traditional gender roles

These animals demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

animals, nature, gender roles, traditional
Image via Pixabay.

We have our eyes on you too.

Traditional gender roles are "natural," goes the common refrain.

Heterosexuality? That's natural too, apparently. Staying one gender your whole life? Definitely natural.

There's only one problem: Nature (and science) beg to disagree.


In reality, male and female animals set up their relationships thousands of different ways in the wild. In many species, males are the primary caretakers of the next generation while females ignore their offspring and mate promiscuously. Even the existence of "male" and "female" as distinct categories is often not so clear in certain species.

Some animals have the ability to change sex to respond to various outside pressures and conditions.

A few can even mate with themselves.

Here are 17 animals that demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

1. Jacanas

birds, science, nature, incubation

"Mom went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back."

​Photo by Ozan Kill

Ask any tropical bird out there, and they'll tell you that male jacanas are pretty much the best dads of the bunch. Not only do male jacanas stick around the nest to incubate the eggs and raise their offspring, they even carry them under-wing when they fly.

Meanwhile, female jacanas are ... not exactly super nurturing. After gathering up a harem of nearly half a dozen males and laying her eggs, the female jacana splits in order to fly around, murder the young of rival females, and mate with their former partners.

This is considered charming.

2. Clown fish

species, environment, reefs, fish

Clown fish were invented by Disney/Pixar in 2003.

Photo by Rachel Hisko on Unsplash

Like many species of reef fish, clown fish can, and frequently do, change sex. Unlike most species of reef fish however, all clown fish are born male and are led (in familial groups) by a dominant female.

When she dies, the next-biggest male simply ... becomes female and takes charge of the group.

What you just heard was the sound of a billion other species slapping themselves on the forehead at the same time, wondering why they didn't think of that, realizing it's now too late and that now they'd just be, like, hopping on the trend.

3. African buffalo

leadership, hierarchies, grazing, grasslands

Everyone is getting out there for an afternoon stroll.

Photo by Soerfm/Wikimedia Commons.

Not only are female buffalos are responsible for coordinating the movements of the entire herd — they do it democratically. When it's time to find a new grazing spot, each female takes a turn standing up and gazing in the direction they want to travel, and when they're done, the whole group moves that way.

While status hierarchies exist within herds, the elections are equitable — one cow, one vote.

Change You Can Moo-Lieve in. Make the Grasslands Great Again.

4. Bees

matriarchy, male drones, hive, honey

"Aaaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!" — Nicholas Cage.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Bees famously take the matriarchy to the extreme. A single queen bee oversees thousands of smaller female workers and male drones.

While most bees live, at most, a few weeks, the queen typically survives several years before the hive goes looking for a new queen to start the cycle over again. All to advance the species-wide goal of refusing to fly out of your car even though all four windows are down.

5. Komodo dragons

komodo dragon, eggs, offspring, evolution

Party out with your tongue out... alone even.

Photo by Mark Dumont/Wikimedia Commons.

Female komodo dragons can lay viable eggs that produce offspring without a male partner, which pretty much explains why komodo dragon Tinder never truly caught on.

6. Praying mantises

copulation, life cycle, insects, hunters

Not as romantic as it looks.

Photo by Oliver Koemmerling/Wikimedia Commons.

Mantis males are often smaller than mantis females, a discrepancy that leaves many males feeling insecure, as it enables females to frequently — though not always — eat their heads during sex.

7. Common reed frogs

amphibians, forrest, frogs, reproduction

So many choices for the day ahead.

Photo by ChriKo/Wikimedia Commons.

These tiny, resilient amphibians can change sex from female to male, allowing them to successfully reproduce if they suddenly find themselves surrounded by frogs of the same sex.

This ability makes them one of the most successful species on Earth at inspiring anxious Sam Neil monologues.

8. South American marmosets

monkeys, jungle, troops, community

"Hey, pa? You ... you wanna ... play catch?"

Photo by Maxim Bilovitskiy/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/en:Creative_Commons.

Female marmosets tend not to be terribly interested in their babies. A few weeks after giving birth, they're mostly out of their kids' lives forever.

Marmoset dads, on the other hand, are excellent caretakers, feeding, grooming, and transporting their young as well as coaching Marmoset Little League and always batting their kid cleanup.

9. Spotted hyenas

aggression, dominance, African plains, arid climates

Someone has to lead this party.

Photo via Pixabay.

Not only are female hyenas stronger and more aggressive than males, male and female hyena genitals are nearly identical in appearance. They're so similar that it's extremely difficult to tell the difference with the naked eye, which ultimately doomed the '70s game show "What Sex is That Hyena?" to cancellation after just half a season.

10. Seahorses

eggs, mating process, sea life, oceans

"OK, so. I need a really big favor."

Photo by Mikhail Preobrazhenskiy on Unsplash

While males of numerous species nurture their offspring, the male seahorse takes things several steps further. During the mating process, he receives eggs from the female and not only fertilizes them, but carries the offspring until they hatch.

A recent poll of male seahorses found that an overwhelming majority experience a secret surge of satisfaction when their partners get kidney stones.

11. Cuttlefish

coloration, species rivalries, genetics, fish

Blumph.

Photo by Michal B. on Unsplash

Unlike middle school boys across America, male cuttlefish don't have a lot of hang-ups about appearing feminine to their peers. Masters of camouflage, these future delicious fried antipasto will often alter their coloration in order to pass for female around rival males.

If an actual female is around, they'll leave the other half of their body as is, appearing half male and half female.

12. Topi antelopes

Africa, herd animals, promiscuity, food

Oh hey.

Photo by Whit Welles/Wikimedia Commons.

Female topi antelopes are not only sexually promiscuous, but when it's time to mate, they almost always make the first move. In some cases, female topis pester male antelopes for sex so relentlessly that the male has to physically fight them off. (Cue dozens of Facebook commenters yelling at male antelopes for complaining about something that's "obviously awesome" and insisting they're lucky and should "just be grateful for the attention.")

13. Laysan albatrosses

birds, mating, wildlife

"Al." "Al."

Photo by Patte David/U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service/Public Domain Images.

Some female albatrosses mate in female-female pairs, often for life.

(Side note: All male albatrosses are named Al Batross. Every single one of them. That's a proven fact).

14. Banana slugs

slugs, sex organs, horror

"When I think about you..."

Image via Pixabay.

A hermaphroditic species, banana slugs have both male and female sex organs and occasionally mate with themselves.

Though banana slugs do seem to prefer mating with other slugs, doing so typically ends with one slug chewing the other's penis off, because nature is a cavalcade of endless, random horror.

15. Orcas

whales, pods, matriarchal, peers

"You have to hit the home button twice, grandma."

Photo by Mike Doherty on Unsplash

Killer whales live in matriarchal pods, and female whales are more likely to take charge of the group than their male peers.

The oldest female whales are often the go-to source for information about where to find food, and in exchange for keeping the whole family alive, the younger whales patiently show them time and again how to use the iPad.

16. Emperor penguins

documentaries, Antartica, frozen tundra, trekking

"Where is that voice coming from?"

Photo via Pixabay.

Anyone who's seen "March of the Penguins" knows that male emperor penguins guard their eggs tightly, perilously balancing them on their feet while their female companions go off to do traditional woman stuff like trekking across the Antarctic tundra, diving for food in the freezing cold ocean, and pleading with Morgan Freeman to shut the hell up so they can focus on not being eaten by seals for like five goddamn seconds.

17. Bonobos

genetics, sex, apes, animal kingdom

"Mmmmmm. Yeah. Mmmmm. All right. Yeah." — Bonobos, all the time.

Photo by Sean Foster on Unsplash

The female-led bonobos have invented perhaps the most ingenious way of preventing intra-species violence in the entire animal kingdom. Basically, everyone just has sex with everyone else — males with females, females with females, males with males, in pretty much every kind of way imaginable.

The near-constant hetero-homo-orgiastic delight that results pretty much prevents anyone from being mad at anyone ever and unites the species around the common goal of being the best apes ever invented.

We share about 99% of our DNA with bonobos.

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

How does a person who is born blind conceive of color?

People who are born blind have a very different relationship with the world than those who were born sighted, even if they lose their ability to see at some later point in life. People born blind take in the world with their other senses—touch, sound, smell, taste—but certain things, like color, can only be experienced and understood through eyesight.

When you've never had sight, you have no reference for color other than what people tell you. Grass is green. Lemons are yellow. Stop signs are red. But what green, yellow, and red actually look like is impossible to explain. And the fact that different colors can evoke different feelings in people—blue being soothing or red being alarming—means nothing to a person who's never seen them.

colors, color wheel, paint colors, blind person, visionHow do you explain color to a blind person?Photo credit: Canva

Tommy Edison was born blind and shares what life is like for him as a blind person on his YouTube channel, The Tommy Edison Experience. Edison's candid, open sharing has helped millions of people understand life for blind people a little bit better, and his good-natured demeanor has earned him a devoted following.

How do blind people understand color?

In one video, Edison shares that colors are something sighted people are often most curious about. How do you understand something you've never seen and can't really be described? "Being blind since birth, I've never seen color," he says. "I don't have any concept of what it is. I've never seen anything. But there's this whole part of vocabulary, of language, that doesn't mean anything to me."

He likened it to trying to explain what the sound of the ocean or the sound of birds chirping is like to someone who's never heard. "No concept. None," he shares. He says people often try to explain a sense with another sense, like, "This color smells like [blank]." That still doesn't mean anything.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

He knows that a stoplight is red or that "in the red" means you're in financial trouble, simply from things he's heard. But he still doesn't know what red looks like. "Blue is the water. Cold or ice is blue. The sky is blue," he says. "Now how can the sky and ice be the same thing? That's weird to me. Same color means two completely different things. I don't get it."

How about orange? "I know nothing rhymes with orange," he says. "Way to go, orange. Way to be involved in poetry and song." He understands black and white as opposites, but still no idea what either of them look like.

"And then there are things that don't have color, like water," he says. "It doesn't have color, but the ocean does. I don't get that. Color is hard." Color is hard to explain to someone who's never seen colors, since it's 100% a visual concept.

Edison did try an experiment to see if he could guess the colors of Magic Markers based on what he knows about color associations and scents. Unfortunately, Magic Marker scents aren't spot-on representations of what they're supposed to smell like, so it was tricky. He predicted he'd get half of them correct, four out of eight.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And he did. The fact that he mentioned a white marker at the end is interesting. We all know white Magic Markers don't exist, but how would he know that? Color really is hard. Edison's thoughts on color got people pondering and trying to "see" things from his perspective, which is, of course, almost as impossible as trying to describe color to a blind person.

"My neurons started working so hard to think how to explain a blind human what is 'a colour.'"

"It's like us trying to imagine a dimension beyond 3D."

"Color is like the tasting of seeing, it just gives objects extra 'flavor' instead of being dull."

colors, colorblind glasses, black and white, blind person seeing colors, color conceptColors add visual "flavor" to what we see.Photo credit: Canva

"You know what makes my brain tie itself in a knot? Trying to understand how he imagines or thinks of objects. I mean, when someone says 'big car' to me, I immediately visualize it. The more info, the clearer the image. Big, blue, rusty van. With a broken mirror. You 'see' that, upon reading it, right? But how does he 'see' it in his mind? Does his memory of having felt the shape of a car 'paint a picture' of a shape that he recollects? How could it, when he has no concept of seeing any picture, ever.. Lets put it like this; if someone asks me to think of the shape of an object, I have no other way of thinking about it but visualizing it's shape. Think of three wooden unpainted, rough poles, in the shape of the letter H. Sure, you can imagine feeling the splinter-riddled surfaces and how you run your hands across the shape that forms and H.. But you can't stop yourself from visualizing it.. Can you? Just... I can't understand how something can be visualized, with no concept of visuals. His mind is as much a mystery to us as ours is to him on these matters."

"The way he thinks about colors is like how we think what is in his head. It’s hard to imagine."

Trying to see different perspectives is a valuable exercise in general, but trying to see the perspective of someone who can't see can help us truly expand our capacity for empathy and understanding.

Find more videos on The Tommy Edison Experience on YouTube.

Images via Canva

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

When winter comes around, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


Cats live where they want when they want

cats, stray cats, pet cats, felines, kittiesKitten snuggled in a person's arms. Image via Canva.

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

cats, stray cats, feeding cats, feral cats, shelter catsCats eating kibble on the street.Image via Canva

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one of killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

One mom has had enough with so-called casual extracurriculars that require massive family commitments

"Let's sign our six-year-old up for soccer!" you think one day, trying to be the good involved parent. It's all fun and games at first, and there doesn't seem to be much of a downside. Your child will get exercise, learn teamwork and cooperation, develop leadership skills, and get valuable time outside away from tablets and other screens. The games will be fun, and there will be snacks, Gatorade, and, of course, the orange slices. What could go wrong?

Fast forward two years, and suddenly you're at practice until seven p.m. three nights per week and arranging to travel out of town for a weekend tournament in Jacksonville. Your house is in shambles, you're living off of fast food, and your bank account is screaming at you to stop signing up for extra private training sessions and off-season leagues.

When did it get like this? Didn't there once be a time when kids could casually play sports without worrying about whether they'd be able to get a college scholarship or go pro one day?

One frustrated mom on TikTok is wondering the same thing, and just unleashed a perfect monologue against what she calls the "professionalization" or youth sports.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrensoccer win GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

The mom, who goes by @LittleRedSchoolHouse on social media, has a daughter who takes ballet—and it's driving her to the brink. "My daughter is in dance, and that's great, she loves it. But she doesn't want to be a ballerina, she doesn't want to be a professional dancer. She just likes to go to her class and dance," she says.

Yet, despite the casual nature of the class, the mom suddenly found herself signed up for a whopping three performances in a 24-hour period. The kicker is that her daughter would only be dancing for five minutes in each show.

"We have to be there for 12 hours so she can dance for 15 minutes." And then there's tickets to buy, costume fees, paying for her daughter to be in the performance (a separate fee from the usual tuition!), and a fundraiser to participate in to raise additional money. It's a massive time and financial commitment from the family.

"I think we need to normalize kids being able to participate in activities and extracurriculars without professionalizing them as parents. For example, kids should be able to play soccer without having to go to league championships or weekend-long jamborees or away games," she says. "They should be able to gain the skill of playing on a team, learning how to play a sport, being physical, having fun with their friends, getting out there and being active, without being forced into this, ‘More, more, more, go, go, go, go, you must be the best at it,’ sort of behavior."

You can watch the whole, compelling argument here:


@littleredschoolhouseco

Not to mention that this kind of commitment is difficult for parents or kids with disabilities, and families in general who have more than one kid that participates in activities. When did extra curriculars become so EXTRA? More is not always better! #letthembelittle #homeschoolextracurricular #parenting

Parents poured into the comments to air their own grievances with the current state of youth sports culture:

"Travel teams are SO out of control."

"What’s even crazier is if you don’t commit like this when they’re little they’re almost guaranteed to not make the school teams when they get to it at grade level."

"I think it’s also ruined kids' sense of self-worth and reality. Not everyone can go pro, and that’s okay, and it also makes kids think that only rich kids can go pro."

"Privatization ruins everything. Public rec leagues and classes are age-appropriate, inclusive, and affordable. Kids learn skills and have fun, and they can change activities every season if they want."

Adults aren't immune to this same system and culture. We can't even have hobbies anymore without feeling like we need to somehow monetize them into a side hustle or eventually go pro. So it makes sense that kids aren't allowed to play sports for fun without having big ambitions of playing at the university level. This creates a paradox described well by a Vox article whereby only kids from families with the most resources even have a shot at playing at high levels. Only "semi-rich" families can afford the time and money it takes to stay involved with high-stakes leagues.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrenRunning around, drinking Gatorade, and eating oranges. That's what youth sports should be! Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Some users chimed in to blame parents for pushing too hard and trying to "live vicariously" through their children. But the point of the viral TikTok was that parents are often in a bind where there aren't any more casual options, and they have to choose between high-stakes activities or no activities at all.

Kids who want to obsess over being the best and chase the highest highs of their chosen sport should have those opportunities. But there should also be low-stakes activities available through public parks, churches, the YMCA, and other community centers. Until those options start coming back, kids and parents alike will be paying the price.

Love Stories

After wife's terminal diagnosis, man builds laundry soap device so she can remain independent

A village from around the world showed up online to help him get it perfect.

Man builds device to help after wife's terminal diagnosis.

When a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it changes everything, including things you may not have yet thought about. As their disease progresses, they're able to do less and less for themselves, sometimes resulting in a spouse being the caregiver for their once healthy partner. But for the ill person, maintaining as much independence as possible for as long as possible can be rewarding.

Artur Zamber recently shared a heartfelt story about his attempt to keep his wife feeling as independent as possible after she was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. The activity she needed assistance with is something that many take for granted: pouring laundry detergent into the cap in order to wash clothes.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessA washing machine. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

"It was the detergent bottle. She couldn’t press the button with both hands anymore. Bone cancer made sure of that. And when I reached over to help her, she flinched. Not because of pain. Because of pride," Zamber writes in his post. "We’ve always been equals, me and her. Forty years of marriage and we’ve never once said 'that’s not my job.' She grew the tomatoes. I built the trellis. She crocheted the blankets. I chopped the wood. We met each other in the middle every single time. But disease…It doesn’t meet you halfway."

It was this realization that caused Zamber to figure out a way to make the laundry soap easier for his wife to dispense on her own. He got some wood and spent hours trying to design a contraption that would allow the soap to be dispensed with one hand As he worked, he quickly realized he may need some assistance. Zamber posted his sketch and explained what he was trying to accomplish in the Tedooo app, an app for hobbyists and crafters to share ideas or sell things. Soon after the desperate husband's initial post, a village of crafters from around the world appeared.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessHobby Lobby Community - Coupons, Finds and Crafters on the Tedooo app | I didn’t build this because I’m handy | Facebookwww.facebook.com

"I posted a rough sketch. Said I was trying to make something for my wife. Didn’t expect much. But my inbox lit up like Christmas. Makers from everywhere Oregon, Croatia, Argentina sent me diagrams, photos, even voice notes walking me through it like we were neighbors," he says.

After working through the design with others, Zamber created a box that holds the laundry soap and tilts forward so his wife can pour it with one hand. The man is adamant he was not trying to "help" his wife or make something "for her," but was instead making something with her in mind so she didn't feel like she needed him to do everything for her.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessMan kissing woman on check beside body of water. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

"We don’t always get to fix what’s broken. But sometimes, we get to honor it. And that’s enough," Zamber shares.

People were moved by the post on social media with one person writing in part, "This is so beautiful. The detergent holder and everything it represents. Your story is resonating with me today in a very unique way."

"Oh my goodness, what sweet, respectful, strong Beautiful Love. Praying for your wife, and for you, seems she is in very loving hands, what a thoughtful way to honor her independence, and help at the same time. What sweet love," another said.