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Millennial history teacher explains the 3 phases of Gen X and why they were ‘forgotten’

"They just want to be left alone."

mix tape, gen x, cassette tapes, obsolete tapes, old-school tapes, music
via Canva/Photos

A cassette tape from the '80s.

Generation X occupies an interesting time in history, for those who care to recognize that they actually exist. They were born between 1965 and 1980 and came into this world at an interesting inflection point: women were becoming a larger part of the workplace and divorce was at the highest point in history. This left Gen X to be the least parented generation in recent history.

Gen X was overlooked in their domestic lives and culturally were overshadowed by Baby Boomers with their overpowering nostalgia for Woodstock, The Beatles, and every cultural moment celebrated in Forest Gump. Once Boomer navel-gazing nostalgia began to wane, a much larger and over-parented generation, the Millennials, came on the scene.

“Whereas Boomers were the ‘me generation’ and millennials were the ‘me me me generation,’ Gen X has become the ‘meh’ generation,” Emily Stewart writes at Business Insider. But even if Gen X is a little aloof, that doesn’t mean they aren’t totally rad, awesome, trippindicular, and that it’d be bogus to define them any other way. To explain the unique history of Gen X and why they’re often overlooked, history teacher Lauren Cella created a timeline on TikTok to explain them to her Gen Z students..

@laurencella92

A love letter to Gen X from your millennial cousin🫶 Gen X didn’t start the fire, so after this I will just leave them alone because they do not care 🤣 But seriously for a generation that sometimes gets “forgotten” and stuck between the larger boomer or millennial cohorts, the genres they created paved the way for pop culture as we know it. I’m still not sure who let kids watch “The Day After” on TV or play on those hot metal playgrounds, but Gen X survived to tell the tale. Today, the so called “latchkey” kids, born 1965-1980 are actually super involved as parents, aunts, uncles, teachers (or maybe even grandparents)😉. Kids today want to say they are “built different” but I think Gen X is the one holding down that title because they grew up tough, they saw too much, they made it out, and they know exactly who they are and wouldn’t have it any other way.✌️ #g#genx

In Cella’s video, she divides Gen X into three distinct phases.

Phase 1: 1970s stagflation and changing families

“Gas shortages meant stagflation. So parents either both had to work or maybe they were divorced. So that meant microwave TV dinners and kids that sort of raised themselves,” Cella explains. “There was no parenting blogs, there was no after-school travel sports, emailing. Like, none of that existed. Bored? Go outside."


Phase 2: The neon ‘80s

“But then came the 1980s, where everything was big and loud. The hair, the bangs, the Reaganomics, mass consumerism (because now we can trade with China). The whole media just exploded,” Cella says. “But now we have TV, we have movies, we have TV, movies, home movies, TV movies, favorite TV movies, music, music, Videos, music, video, television. All these different genres and all these different cliques and all these different ways that you can express yourself.”


Phase 3: 1990s post-Cold War Skepticism

“Gen X sort of comes into the 1990s more sarcastic and skeptical,” Cella continues. “The Cold War ending meant that they rejected the excess of the eighties. And there's the shift. Grunge, indie, alternative, flannels, Docs [Doc Martins]. At this point, the technology is also exploding, but not like fun home media, but like corporate media. So there's this resistance to sell-out culture.”


Cella has a theory on why Gen X seems forgotten, and it’s not just because CBS News famously denied its existence. She believes that it comes down to Gen X’s inability to call attention to itself. “So Gen X is a bridge between these two larger, more storied generations. So it's not necessarily that they get forgotten. They don't really want the attention. They're kind of fine to just like, fly under the radar like they always have, because honestly, it's whatever.”

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Passenger on 274-day cruise is surprised to learn the one word you can't say on the ship

"It's like saying 'Macbeth' in a theater."

via Mattew Barra/Pexels
There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.


cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf

someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Watch Mary Tyler Moore sink a tricky pool shot, shocking everyone on set, including herself

How she and Dick Van Dyke managed to stay in character is remarkable.

FilmRise Television/YouTube (Public Domain)

This miraculous moment happened in Season 2, Episode 5 of The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Most of us have had moments where something completely unlikely happened that we wish had been caught on film. Have you ever dropped something in the bathroom, and when you tried to catch it, it bounced off your hand, onto the sink, into the wall, then right into the toilet? You couldn't replicate something like that even if you tried. All you can do is look around and ask, "Did anyone else see that?"

One of those seemingly impossible moments happened to Mary Tyler Moore while filming an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show in 1962, but luckily, it was caught on film. The scene she and Dick Van Dyke were filming involved a tricky pool shot in which Mary Tyler Moore's character was supposed to hit three balls into three different pockets at once. The plan for the scene was to film Moore taking the shot, then cut to a shot of just the table where a professional pool player would actually make the shot, then cut back to Moore. But they didn't end up needing the pro player at all, much to everyone's surprise–including Moore herself.

@didyoucatchthis

The Unscripted Magic of Mary Tyler Moore on The Dick Van Dyke Show In a memorable 1962 episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, a seemingly routine scene turned into an unforgettable moment of unscripted brilliance. In the episode, Laura Petrie, played by the iconic Mary Tyler Moore, wants to quit a game of pool to watch her favorite movie on TV. Her husband, Rob Petrie, played by Dick Van Dyke, convinces her to finish the game. Laura agrees, setting up for what was intended to be a clever camera trick. The plan was simple: the scene would cut away to a professional pool player making a difficult shot, then cut back to Laura as if she had made it herself. But then something incredible happened. Instead of relying on the professional, Mary Tyler Moore nailed the shot herself, completely unplanned. The genuine surprise and delight in her reaction—and Dick Van Dyke’s—made the moment feel all the more authentic and endearing. This unscripted success is a perfect example of the magic that made The Dick Van Dyke Show so special, blending impeccable acting, humor, and spontaneous brilliance into TV history.

The look on Moore's face says it all, but the fact that the two actors otherwise stayed in character is even more remarkable. Van Dyke didn't even flinch. Absolute legend. And shout out to the camera crew as well. The professionalism all around in that moment is a testament to everyone on set.

According to Slash Film, the show's editor, Bud Molin, explained in Vince Waldron's The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book how the shot came to be. The shot was set up ahead of time, of course, but she was just supposed to make the balls go the right way. No one expected her to actually sink any of them, much less all three.

"We had it rigged so that she just had to hit the balls in the right general direction," Molin said. "It was just luck. She hit it, and she dropped every ball!"

Everyone was wowed, including Moore herself. She quickly picked her jaw up off the table, though, saving the scene so that the footage would be usable. And indeed, that take ended up being the one that made it into the "Hustling the Hustler" episode.

Watch the full scene from the beginning here (and note Van Dyke's unflappable reaction):

- YouTube youtu.be

The irony of the way the scene panned out is that Moore's character was supposed to surprise her husband and the audience with her pool prowess—just a little ol' housewife besting a man at a man's sport. The fact that she actually did it makes it all the better.

The Dick Van Dyke Show still ranks among the best sitcoms of all time, even seven decades after it aired.

More fun facts about The Dick Van Dyke Show

- The show aired for five seasons, from 1961 to 1966, and won a whopping 15 Emmy Awards.

- It was considered a pioneer in the sitcom genre, incorporating complexities of real life like parenting, sex, and societal issues in ways that previous sitcoms had not explored.

- Johnny Carson was among those in the running for the lead role that ultimately went to Dick Van Dyke due to his better name recognition at the time. Carson would become The Tonight Show host in 1962, a year after The Dick Van Dyke Show premiered.

johnny carson, the tonight show, dick van dyke show, talk show, television Johnny Carson was one of two finalists for Dick Van Dyke's role. Giphy

- Mary Tyler Moore had to fight to wear capri pants as the wardrobe choice made the network and advertisers nervous. However, she insisted that her character wear them and succeeded in shifting norms and expectations around women's clothing.

- Part of the show's success after it's second season (which almost didn't happen due to low ratings in the beginning) was the revolutionary idea to play reruns of the show during the summer. "That was one of the most creative things I ever did," said Carl Reiner, the show's director, according to John Kiesewetter. "Repeats back then were not a big thing. But I said, 'The people who have seen Perry Como will have a chance to sample us.' And it worked!"

- The catchy Dick Van Dyke Show theme song was an instrumental, but it actually had lyrics written by co-star of the show Morey Amsterdam. Watch Dick Van Dyke sing it in a 2011 interview onThe Rachael Ray Show :

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Reruns of The Dick Van Dyke Show can be found on various streaming services, and some full episodes that are in the public domain can be found on YouTube.

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I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTube youtu.be

The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

The Never Ending Story Atreyu GIFfrom The Never Ending Story GIFs


3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

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I spent the day following people over 80 around and I could barely keep up

Their full social calendars might just be the secret to happiness.

Lauren Miller

A group of elderly people solve a puzzle.

As someone who wakes up, turns on the TV, eats a cookie, and then sits at my desk to write, some might say I'm rather sedentary. That is not the case for my mother and many of her friends at the senior living facility where they reside. In fact, I've never seen such an active group of people in my life—and most of them are in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s. Time and again, experts stress the importance of not only physical exercise and a healthy diet, but also mental stimulation in order to stay spry. Obviously, nothing can stave off the inevitable, but there are countless examples of people who swear by staying on the go to stay sharp well into old age.

Games keep their minds alert

My mom's posse starts early in the day with Mexican Train (a dominos game) and they mean business, as plenty play for money. This is popular among the residents, as is Bridge and Mahjong, the latter being where my mom truly shines. I sat in on a Mahjong game and watched as they laser-focused on the tiles in order to build a winning hand. Some of them wanted to use the time for chitchat, while others were a bit more rigid with the gameplay aspect. But as we left (after two hours) they all seemed much lighter in spirt.

A Texas A&M University School of Public Health research study reports, "Older people with mild cognitive impairment who engage in high levels of activities such as word games and hobbies have better memory, working memory, attention and processing speed than those who do not."

mahjong, senior living, puzzles, mental health, games, community A close up of a game of Mahjong Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash


Group meetings help them stay engaged

Whether it's sitting together in the dining hall or attending an art class to bead a purse, the idea of being together seems to help the seniors' sense of belonging. Book club is especially popular (though I'm told it often gets heated) because they become exposed to literature that might have been outside their usual realm and discuss it in depth.

In 2024 Forbes published a piece about how senior citizens can stay young, healthy and fit, noting, "Regular social interactions, participating in community activities, and staying connected with loved ones can contribute to a sense of belonging, purpose, and happiness."

The National Institute of Aging reports that non-engagement can cause both mental and physical decline. They note, "Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline."

The seniors at my mom's home have sharp political discussions too. The facility brings in someone to make sure the residents are getting a balanced, non-partisan range of news from various outlets. I watched one of these meetings and it was encouraging to see seniors having civil discourse from all sides of the political spectrum.

There are also church and temple services for those who wish, and guided meditation groups (which my mom loves) where they're encouraged to write down their feelings.

One friend sits on what's called the Citizen Council to advocate for residents. "They meet often, and resolve nothing," my mother shadily notes, but still—it fills time and keeps them busy.

elderly, book club, senior living, staying active, seniors A book club meeting held at the senior living facility. Lauren Miller


Staying physically active

According to the Canadian Association Medical Journal, the elderly are not getting enough exercise by and large. Writer Kristen Fischer shares that, "In the United States, about 13.9% of adults aged 65 or more years meet federal physical activity guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. Fischer also quotes Jane Thornton, MD, who is an associate professor at the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry in Ontario, saying, "“Physical activity is one of the most important ways to preserve or improve functional independence, including among older adults who are frail or deemed to be at increased risk of falling,”

To touch base with her younger self, my mom decided to create her own dance class. Having been a professional dancer (she danced with the Austin Ballet Company), she was missing that side of herself in her new home. Though she's now on a walker, as are many of the residents, that didn't stop her. With the help of a staff member, she created "Dances with Walkers," wherein she personally chose a hard beat-driven playlist so that people could dance with their walkers, scooters, and canes.

elderly, dancing, walkers, senior living, active A dance class for people on walkers. Lauren Miller


Just plain fun

One of my mom's friends said to me, plain and simple, "Just because we're older, doesn't mean we don't want to have a good time. I wake up every day and think I'm 30. Then I look in the mirror."

To that end, the gang is involved in monthly karaoke and weekly entertainment. "Tony Macaroni is often here," my mom shares. "As long as his hearing aids are working, he sounds great!"

Having purpose

In The Washington Post article "Centenarians share their longevity formula: 'Staying busy gives you purpose,' author Sydney Page writes that a 100-year-old woman took a part-time job at Home Depot and claims, "That's what keeps me sharp."

One of the commenters on this piece shared, "I once chatted with a woman who was volunteering at the local senior center. She did it, she said, to help out 'the old dears.' She was pushing 90 at the time."

Another writes, "Live till you die. Make the Reaper have to work to get his quota when you're on his list. Most of all, treat your body such that you'll be able to climb into the casket when it's your time."

elderly, senior living, staying active, seniors, home Residents of a senior facility enjoy a night out.Lauren Miller

This isn't to say all of this activity is easy. My mom, for example, is hard of hearing and can't see well. She gets tired easily and sometimes has to push beyond her exhaustion. This is part of what makes watching her (and many of her friends) so inspiring. They may see someone else when they look in the mirror, but when they're singing and dancing, the best parts of themselves reappear.

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Gen Z debates 'The Taxicab Theory' and their thoughts on love might change the game

Relationship theories like this could be problematic.

Photo Credit: Canva

Taxicab light is on. Two people enjoy a romantic date.

The theory was simple, as many ideas from the hit HBO show Sex and the City were. To paraphrase Miranda Hobbes (portrayed by Cynthia Nixon), men are like taxicab lights. When they settle down, it's never actually about the person they wind up with—it's all a matter of timing and when their "cab light is on."

In a recent article for Verywell Mind, author Ariane Resnick explains, "The taxicab theory (also known as the taxi light theory) is an idea that centers around men and claims that they commit, or not, based on timing." Resnick then quotes therapist Afton Turner, LPCA, who claims, "The taxicab theory explains when a man decides he is ready to get married, it’s like he is turning on his cab light—he is signaling that he’s available and open to commitment. At that point, it’s less about who he’s with and more about the timing; he’s ready to pick up the next waiting passenger and marry them."

What Miranda (or rather the show's writers) says exactly is: "Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And then they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one that they'll marry. It's not fate. It's dumb luck."

A clip from season three of Sex and the City discussing Taxi Cab Theory. www.youtube.com, Matchacarbonara

This episode was released in 2000, when much of Gen X was settling down or in the crux of dating. Many of us took the monologue as a cute throwaway scene in a lighthearted comedy. It was just the kind of thing you post on a blog and then carry on with your life. It’s obviously reductive and, as Resnick writes, "problematic" for many reasons. Mainly, it's an odd thing to attribute only to men and it’s a laughable generalization.

Gen Z has some questions on the theory and topic at large, which spark healthy debates on TikTok.

On the "First Round’s on Me" app's TikTok page, a woman is asked, "What is the best dating advice you’ve ever received?" She echoes the taxicab theory, answering, "My dad told me last year that men either have their light on or they have it off. I have dated for two years straight and every man's light was off. And I was always chasing."

@firstroundsonmeapp

Do YOU believe taxi cab theory?😏 #nyc #fyp #dating #date #datingapp #firstroundsonme #single #datingadviceforwomen #datingadviceformen #relationship #love #ots #interview

The interviewer confirms, "Men are like taxicabs. If the light is off, don’t try to get in."

"Don’t even try," she continues. "But when their light is on, be ready."

In the comment section, a few offer their own advice. But many agree with the sentiment. "Great advice," more than one person writes.

But over on @BlackRyanSeacrest’s TikTok page, he debunks the theory. He especially pushes back on the idea that men don’t choose the "perfect woman" if their light is off. He asks, "Perfect according to who? The other women or to him? Because I promise you if she was perfect for him, he’d be with her."

@blackryanseacrest

The taxi cab theory isn’t real #fyp #dating #men #women #foryou

He lets the clip continue, then shares, "The taxicab theory is basically a stage three coping mechanism. It’s basically saying, ‘You know how that guy rejected you? It’s completely okay and has nothing to do with you. Because in reality, he’s not ready for a relationship and when he is, he’s just gonna pick some random woman in front of his face that he doesn’t care about.’"

He goes on to scold the idea that men have no feelings or thoughts and are merely guided by an unseen, vague readiness. He also points out that women are also capable of merely "coasting in a relationship just because they want to be in a relationship—even though the guy is completely lackluster."

Here, the comments are also quite supportive of the content creator. "Also, if he isn’t ready to be in a relationship, even if this hypothetical woman is perfect for him, THAT is healthy!"

sex and the city, carrie bradshaw, taxi cab theory, relationships Carrie attempts to flirt by winking. Giphy Warner Brothers, HBO Max

One person pushes back: "But then why do men date a woman for 6 or 7 years saying he's not ready for marriage, just to marry a girl one year into the relationship after his last relationship ended? Even if you say he just fell in love, imagine being the girl he left."

Another debates this idea: "This might surprise you, but those two women are in fact not the same person. There was something about woman 2 that brought him peace in his life."

The bottom line is that simplifying love and partnership—no matter the gender, sexual preference, or otherwise—minimizes the importance of chemistry. Sure, maybe timing has something to do with where we end up, but not always. In their latest piece for Pure Wow, editor Sydney Meister writes, "Because in a culture obsessed with finding the ideal match—often one that may not even exist—‘settling’ has become synonymous with ‘giving up.’ Yet, could it be that it’s not about giving up on connection, but redefining our expectations of commitment?"


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