Penn Badgley asked for no sex scenes in new season of 'You.' The show creator's reaction was fab.
Sera Gamble's awesome response has gotten lost amid the debates over his request.
Penn Badgley stars in the TV series "You."
Thanks largely to the #MeToo movement, conversations about bodily autonomy and consent have become a regular part of our social discourse. We teach little ones about the concept of consent in kid-friendly terms. We make sure everyone understands that only an enthusiastic yes means yes for sex. We talk about how consent can be withdrawn at any time.
Sometimes these conversations involve grappling with the nuances of individual situations, which is why actor Penn Badgley's request to stop doing sex scenes in his TV series "You" has created a wave of debates about the nature of acting, consent for sexual activity and how sex is portrayed in television and film in general.
For a little background, Badgley plays the handsome, obsessive serial killer Joe Goldberg in the series "You," which just entered its fourth season. In real life, Badgley is known for telling fans to stop falling in love with the creepy character, and for thoughtfully using the show's premise to talk about violence against women and gender equality. Now he's making headlines for a story he shared on his podcast about asking to cut sex scenes from the new season.
“I asked Sera Gamble, creator of the show, ‘can I just do no more intimacy scenes?’” Badgley told his "Podcrushed" co-hosts, Nava Kavelin and Sophie Ansari. He shared that one of his hesitations with taking the "You" role in the first place was his not wanting to always be cast as a romantic lead, considering everything that entails. (Badgley came to fame playing a lead romantic role on "Gossip Girl," and while Joe Goldberg isn't exactly a typical romantic lead, his character's modus operandi is charming women into relationships, which in the first three seasons involved a good deal of sex.)
"Fidelity in every relationship, and especially my marriage, is important to me," Badgley said, "And yeah, it just got to a point where I'm like, 'I don't want to do that.'" But, he added, "Do I have a career if I don't? I mean, think about every male lead you've loved. Are they kissing someone? Are they doing a lot more than that?"
Badgley told Variety that his wife, Domino Kirke-Badgley, actually encouraged him to take the role of Joe. "And I wasn’t going to listen to anyone more than her," he said. He also elaborated a bit on his discomfort with filming sex scenes, "having done quite a fair amount of them."
“It’s not a place where I’ve blurred lines,” he said. “There’s almost nothing I could say with more consecration. That aspect of Hollywood has always been very disturbing to me—and that aspect of the job, that mercurial boundary—has always been something that I actually don’t want to play with at all.”
He shared that his preference would be no sex scenes at all: "It’s important to me in my real life to not have them."
People were quick to share their thoughts on Badgley's feelings about intimate scenes, from positive (Good for him for setting his own boundaries!) to negative (It's called acting—it's got nothing to do with marital fidelity!) The story also got people talking about the nature of filming sex scenes, the differences between sex and violence being simulated or shown, how much is too much and whether such scenes are even necessary or desirable.
But lost in all of those debates was what really matters most—how "You" show creator and producer Sera Gamble responded to his request.
As Badgley explained on his podcast, Gamble's reaction to his wanting to nix sex scenes was immediately positive and supportive.
"I said to Sera, 'my desire would be zero. To go from 100 to zero.'" Badgley shared. "But I signed this contract. I signed up for this show, I know what I did. You know, you can't take this aspect out of the DNA of the concept [of the show], so 'how much less can you make it?' was my question to them."
"And she didn't even bat an eye. She was really glad that I was that honest. She was sort of, I want to say, like, almost empowered. She had a really positive response. She appreciated my directness and she appreciated that I was also being reasonable and practical. And they came back with a phenomenal reduction."
Badgley's feelings about filming sex scenes really shouldn't be up for debate—it's his body, his comfort level, his choice. And if someone decides that simulating sex at work isn't something they are comfortable with, they should be able to say so, no matter what their personal reasons are for it. The real story here is how an actor felt safe enough to approach his employer and voice his discomfort over filming sex scenes, and how she listened and immediately responded with respect and accommodation. That's exactly what should happen, but all too often has not.
Rather than devolving into hot takes on sex and sex scenes in general, which everyone has different feelings about, let's take this positive exchange between employee and employer for the consent-era example that it is and celebrate it.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.