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Wellness

Woman shares startling before-and-after photo to give recovering addicts hope

Woman shares startling before-and-after photo to give recovering addicts hope
via V Ginny Burton / Facebook

Virginia Burton, 48, has over eight years and five months of sobriety under her belt and that's the longest stretch she's gone without using. She was first introduced to marijuana at the age of six and by the age of 15 was a "full-blown addict."

She was incarcerated three times, twice with her mother.

She desperately wanted to stop, but couldn't do it on her own. But finally, she found sobriety after getting arrested. "If not for the police, I wouldn't be where I am today. They gave me an opportunity to change my life when they arrested me," she wrote on Facebook. "On my own, I wouldn't have stopped."


"I honestly thought I'd die on a park bench with a needle in my arm or by gunshot to the head," she wrote. "I would've never in a million years thought my life would look the way it does today."

However, things have changed.

A photo she shared on Facebook is going viral for showing the dramatic change she's gone through. The photo on the left is of her strung out on heroin and cocaine in 2005. The right, Burton after recently graduating with a political science degree from Washington State.

"How's that for motivation?" she captioned the photo.

Last year, as a junior, she was awarded the prestigious Truman Scholarship which recognizes future leaders driven to make change at the policy level.

An avid mountaineer, she told the University of Washington that she tackles each task in life like she approaches a summit.

"Making the decision to return to school so late in life was a challenge for me," she said. "I thought I might be too old to start my life over again and that learning might be harder than I imagined. I decided that I would tackle each challenge I faced with the same drive I tackle mountains. There is no excuse to stop moving forward. If I want to reach the summit, I must keep climbing."

Burton hopes her miraculous transformation will show people that anything is possible. "Stop selling yourself short," she wrote. "You don't know what tomorrow might bring so you might consider starting today."

Recovery Talk with Ginny Burtonwww.youtube.com

"If you would have told me that my life would look like it does today eight and a half years ago, I would have called you a liar," Burton told 10 TV's Bryant Somerville.

Burton hopes her transformation will show people that even in the direst of situations it is possible to turn one's life around.

"I want people to know that there is hope," she wrote on Facebook. "No one is disposable. You don't have to die in addiction. You can stop using, lose the desire, and find a new way to live. There are so many of us out here willing to help."

The post has clearly done its job. It's been seen by people as far as the Middle East, Switzerland, and Spain, and her inbox has been filled with countless messages from people thanking her for her hope and perseverance.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to share my life out loud," she wrote.

Burton is looking forward to changing more lives by pursuing a master's degree at the Evans School of Public Policy in Seattle so that she can help change the prison system. Since 2011, she has worked as a volunteer with the Post Prison education program which works to support former prisoners.

Her long-term goals are to realize her childhood dream of becoming a lawyer, run for elected office, and to restructure prison time. Given how she's approached life for the past eight years, I wouldn't bet against her.

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Health

We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

Canva

Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.


This article originally appeared last year.

Education

Millennial career coach breaks down the 'millennial career crisis' and how to fight it

"Millennials were out her preparing for a future that doesn't exist anymore."

Millennials, her's reason #325 you're not crazy, delusional, or whiny.

Listen, we’ve all heard a millennial woefully bemoan the fact that their generation was not set up to thrive in the actual work environment that awaited them in adulthood (.i.e. it didn’t run on hopes, dreams, or even that fancy college degree). But back in September of 2024, New York-based career coach Janel Abrahami gave fresh insight into what she calls the "millennial career crisis."

“Millennials were really out here preparing for a future that doesn’t exist anymore,” Abrahami began in a clip posted to her TIkTok. “We grew up hearing either follow a passion or just go to a good school to get a good job, and you'll be set.”

"Even if we had the privilege to do either of those things,” she continued, “we are still out here, like 10ish years later, with the very bleak reality that neither a traditionally good 9-to-5 job nor following a passion is enough to be set."

She went on to say how corporate jobs are no longer “secure,” as even the highest performers are not necessarily safe from being laid off if the company chooses to downsize, so the former common wisdom of “just being good at your job and keeping your head down” sort of no longer applies.

@janelabrahami I apologize in advance for the vocal fry 😭🫣
♬ original sound - Janel Abrahami

Furthermore, if a millennial is looking for a new job, Abrahami said that the market is so “competitive and slow” that it’s a nearly impossible endeavor to find something that is an actual fit. Of course, with all these headlines of ghost jobs and long, drawn out job interviews and complicated resume algorithms, this is something we’re all at least partially aware of. And if you’re experiencing this firsthand right now…my heart goes out to you, truly.

The last seemingly viable option is entrepreneurship or freelancing, which Abrahami noted is “an option” for some of us, but often all the hustle and grinding involved is “detrimental” to our mental health.

Okay, this sounds a little bleak, BUT, Abrahami wants people to understand that if they’re feeling “tired, confused, or defeated,” that it’s not necessarily a reflection of any personal shortcoming, it is simply because “we were following a manual to build an object that is now obsolete.”

One way to combat this career crisis (which applies to millennials, Gen Zers, and Gen Xers alike) is to create what Abrahami calls a “portfolio career.” In a different TikTok video, she acknowledged how portfolio careers can look like more hustle culture in disguise, but in her opinion, it’s the ultimate way to “create multiple income streams,” break free from a 9-5, and have more freedom in general.

@janelabrahami Are you building a portfolio career that lets you combine your strengths skills and work with multiple clients and projects and income streams? Is this the future of work or just another? #girlboss #careeradvice #jobsearch #portfoliocareer ♬ original sound - Janel Abrahami

Abrahami’s own portfolio career includes everything from writing and content creation to consulting to leading workshops and hosting brand events, which is, she admits, “a lot of work” but also aligns with her authentic values and unique strengths. She also noted that the key to avoiding burnout with a portfolio career is setting proper boundaries so that you're not constantly chasing.

As far as how to begin building that career portfolio, one suggestion is to keep a list of not only professional experiences, but identity-shaping experiences from your everyday life. If, for example, you've been passionately involved in activism, or have a creative skill you've pursued recreationally for a long time, include it. Honestly, what millennial hasn’t tried to create a resume purely off of our personal interests? We’ve got this! Some might choose to actually draw out their portfolio and map out the potential connections between various skills, roles, or experiences. That way you’ve got a broad perspective right there on the page.

Credit: April Rinne, hbr.org

Hopefully Abrahami’s video empowers you, rather than instills more fear. While it certainly is difficult out there, perhaps a lot of our collective angst comes from trying to play by rules in a game that’s clearly changed. Even if you don’t subscribe to the portfolio career idea, honing in on everything you bring to the table, thinking outside the box, and carving your own path could be worthwhile. Oh, and giving yourself some grace. Not easy when livelihoods are on the line, but still.

A happy mother and her smiling child.

Parents of newborns know they are in the middle of a joyous and stressful era. But far too often, the people they run into choose to frame things negatively when talking to them about their young child. They’ll say things like, “Don’t worry, it gets better” or “Boy, do you have your hands full.”

That’s why Steph Morrison's video on TikTok touched so many hearts. It’s about the fantastic things that can happen when people choose to see things in a positive light instead of a negative one.

“The sweetest thing just happened,” Morrison begins in her video. “I was just finishing my walk and we were just pulling down our street and this old man, he stopped so we could walk by because we’ve got the double-wide stroller that takes up the whole space, and he goes ‘Wow! You’re going to have a lot of fun.’"

The comment blindsided Morrison because it reframed how she looks at being a parent.

@_stephmorrison_

I never would have guessed what the man would say nor did I ever predict tears would roll down my face like they did. Thankful for this sweet glimmer from God 🫶🏼✨ #momspiration #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #quotesforyou #momquotes #postpartumjourney #postpartumlife #happywords #happinessbegins #creatorsearchinsights

“I don’t know why I’m getting emotional telling you now. But most people say, ‘You’ve got your hands full’ and it’s my biggest pet peeve, but he was so sweet and I could, like, see the memories flash through his eyeballs as he said that to me: ‘You’re going to have a lot of fun.’”

“Like, dang! That’s the type of vibe and energy I’m going to bring to motherhood,” she continued. “I was having a really great time with the kids already, so I don’t know why I’m crying while telling you this. But if you’re a mother out there, I hope you’re having a lot of fun, too, because why not?”

Everyone knows that parenting can be hard. But it’s also filled with joy, laughter, hope, possibilities and new experiences. The elderly man’s comments were a great reminder to Morrison and her followers to focus on the joy and possibilities of being a parent instead of the challenges and hard work.



The video struck a chord with mothers in the comments who shared similar experiences.

“An older man in the grocery store stopped me when my son was 8 months old and said, ‘Young enough to still talk to the angels, put in a good word for me!’” Rachel wrote. “My only son is 7 months old. I can’t have any more kids due to life-threatening complications at birth. The other day, a man said to me, ‘He gets to have you all to himself. Isn’t that so special?’” Happy_Gilmoree added.

CaitlinPrice25 hit the nail on the head. “Society makes us feel like kids are a burden,” she wrote. “Just a little change of perspective can make all the difference.”

A positive mindset can make life much easier for parents, but it’s also great for their children. Children look to their parents and model their behavior; those with a positive attitude are likely to raise happy, optimistic children. “A mother’s ability to model positivity becomes a powerful tool in shaping a child’s character, fostering qualities such as kindness, compassion, and a positive outlook on life,” The Motherhood Center in Houston, Texas, writes.

The story also reminds everyone, whether they are parents or not, of the importance of leading with positivity when dealing with others. The man could have said something cliché such as “I hope you’re getting enough sleep,” but instead, he reminded Morrison of the joy of parenting, and she made his remark her north star. That’s the power of positivity.

This article originally appeared last year.

Cat discovering owner's pregnant belly.

Can animals tell if you're pregnant? That question has been asked countless times without a scientifically proven answer, but some people swear their pets started behave differently around them when they're expecting. Some cats or dogs get more snuggly, some get more protective, some get more territorial, but it's not uncommon for people to report their pets acting notably differently when there's a human baby on the way.

A woman captured a sweet moment of her cat interacting with her pregnant belly, almost as if it just realized she had a baby inside it. At first, the kitty looks over at her rubbing her belly with its curiosity clearly piqued. Gently moving towards her, it starts sniffing her belly button, peering into it, then oh-so-gently touching it with its paw.

"Oh my god," the woman whispers. "I'm literally crying."

People loved seeing the cat's "discovery" and shared some of their own experiences with pets and pregnancy.

"My old boy Leon knew ❤️ he laid on my belly every night. He waited to meet his baby brother and then crossed the rainbow bridge 🌈"

"My cat would sleep on or against my pregnant belly, but as soon as the baby kicked she’d wake up and look at my belly in annoyance. 😂"

"My Eddie used to sit on my belly every night -- until I became pregnant, and then he sat close by , but never on my belly. He knew before I did!"

"My cat wouldn't leave my side after my csection. He was stuck to me and baby LIKE GLUE. He never cuddles so much. He was ON ME. Turns out, I had complications, and needed to be rehospitalized. I feel like he knew something wasn't right🥹 I am forever grateful!"

"My cat Minou used to always cuddle me while I was pregnant. He had never been a cuddle before or after."

"My "soul cat" Isabelle would curl up and sleep on my pregnant belly. She only got mad once because she was kicked and acted like I did it 😊"

"Cats know. They know when someone is pregnant and even when someone is ill or about to die. We underestimate them."

Do they really know? The verdict is out on that question in terms of definitive research, but there are some indications that they could. Hormonal changes during pregnancy may result in slight changes in your smell, which cats' incredibly strong olfactory senses might pick up. Cats are also super sensitive to changes in their environment, so their human's growing belly and behavioral changes as they prepare for a baby's arrival may also signal to them that something new is afoot. Whether that means they actually understand that a new human is on the way is an entirely different question, and unfortunately we can't get into the mind of our feline friends.


In Love Cat GIFGiphy

As far as when someone is ill or about to die, we've seen at least one cat who seemed to have a sense for when people were close to death. Oscar "the Hospice cat" lived in the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island, as a therapy cat, but caregivers began to notice a pattern. Once in a while, Oscar would start spending a lot of time in a specific resident's room.

"We would eventually find out after he did this several times that the people he was staying with were usually the next ones to go," Dr. David Dosa shared with Crossroad Hospice. "One death occurred, then two deaths and ultimately he hit about 20 or 30 deaths in a row at which point everybody started to say, ‘Wow, this is something quite unique.’”

In fact, workers at the center began calling people's families if Oscar started spending a lot of time with them, as it was so often a sign that the person would pass soon.

There's a lot we don't know about what animals can and cannot sense, but that doesn't change the sweetness of seeing a cat peer into and paw at the belly button of a pregnant woman. What a lucky baby.

Chaplain J.S. Park and a man on his deathbed.

The regrets of the dying are tragedies for those who are leaving this world. However, for the living, they can be valuable lessons on how to live a happy and meaningful life that benefits others. That way, when we reach the end, we can do so peacefully, knowing that we got the most out of this one lifetime.

Joon Park, who goes by J.S. Park on social media, is a chaplain at Tampa General Hospital who describes himself as a “grief catcher” and is the author of “As Long as You Need: Permission to Grieve.” He has sat at the bedsides of thousands of people who are in the process of passing away, and that’s given him a very unique perspective on life. He knows the greatest gift to give to the dying is listening so they can feel heard before they leave this world.

What’s the biggest regret of the dying?

He told CNN that in his conversations with the dying, there is one regret that he hears the most: “I only did what everyone else wanted, not what I wanted.”

“Many of us near the end realize we were not able to fully be ourselves in life – we had to hide to survive,” he continued. “It was not always our fault. Sometimes, our resources, the systems, and culture around us did not allow us to. My hope is always to fully see and hear this patient, who is now finally free. ”

dying, hospice, j.s. parkA man in the final moments of his life.via Canva/Photos

It must feel terrible to walk through life feeling like a square peg in a round hole, having a job you don’t like, a spouse who doesn’t understand you, or having to live up to standards that you didn’t create. It’s upsetting that many people experience this, and Park’s advice reminds us to ask ourselves a serious question: Am I living my life or the life someone else has chosen for me?

Park said that people's most common fear towards the end of their lives is whether their loved ones will be okay after they’re gone.

“Will my loved ones be OK without me? Who will look after Mom? Who will take my dad to the doctor? How will my son and daughter get along without me? Even my patients who are most at peace with their dying are still anxious about how their own death will affect their family,” he says. The fear shows that even when people are ready to leave this world, they never stop caring for those closest to them.

“This is almost an empathic anticipatory grief, experiencing the grief of the other person’s future loss. We are so connected that often we worry about how other people will be affected by our own death,” Park said.


How to know if you're living your own life

How do we know if we are living our own life and not that of others? It’s a big question, but according to Follow Your Own Rythm, a great place to start is to stop letting fear or society’s expectations dictate your path. Instead, express yourself freely, follow your passions, live by your core values, and spend time with yourself, touching base with your thoughts and feelings. You’ll know you’re living your life when it begins to feel more harmonious and authentic.