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"It's you who keep me going": 81-year-old writes heartfelt text to his softball teammates

The younger team had no idea how much it meant to the man to be included in the league, and now we're all sobbing.

Sam Evanz/TikTok

81-year-old writes heartfelt text message to younger softball teammates in middle of the night.

It's not been a particularly great week on the Internet. No, scratch that—month. Actually, come to think of it, the last few years haven't been amazing. There's bad news everywhere we look. Divisiveness. Arguing. Violence.

Maybe that's why this small story of kindness and hope is resonating so deeply with everyone who comes across it. It's a simple story of people being good to one another, and that's what we need right now more than ever.

A mom named Sam Evanz occasionally shares updates about her husband's local softball team on TikTok. Recently, she posted an incredibly heartfelt message the team received from one of their teammates. The teammate just so happens to be an 81-year-old man.

Evanz's husband is on a 15-player casual team in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. One of the players is 81-year-old Nelson Bradbury. The oldest on the team by a solid margin, Bradbury recently took the chance to tell the guys just how much he appreciated the opportunity to play with them, even though he may not be the best athlete out there anymore.

"Well guys , just up to do my middle of the night pee. I have been laying in bed for the past half hour thinking about tonight's game and thinking about the great bunch of guys I am allowed to play with," the long text message begins, coming through at approximately 2:30 a.m.

"I really appreciate the way you guys treat me as an equal and not just an old fart. ... It's all of you who keep me going and give me the reason to get out of bed in the morning."

You'll just have to read the whole thing in Evanz's post to fully appreciate Bradbury's gratitude and contagious sense of humor.

TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


Evanz was stunned when her post went massively viral, racking up nearly 15 million views as of this writing.

"The response has been pretty incredible!" she tells Upworthy, saying multiple international media outlets picked up the story including a sports reporter in Italy.

Commenters on the post were overwhelmed with appreciation for Bradbury. And, in an instant, fiercely protective of him.

"EVERYONE BETTER HAVE TEXTED BACK"

"AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BETTER HAVE TOLD HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO THE TEAM!"

"he’s been thinking this for a while but was scared to say it and i’m so glad he did. now if they didn’t respond we’re riding at dusk cause dawn is too far away."

"It’s just a game to you but for him it’s the reasons he gets up everyday"

The Philadelphia Eagles official TikTok account even chimed in: "Being a teammate is a special thing."

Nelson Bradbury stans will be happy to know that his teammates appreciated the message just as much as the rest of us do. Many of them wrote back the next morning, according to an update posted by Evanz.

"Glad to have ya you old fart!!!" one joked.

"You may not know this but it's your example that keeps a lot of us older... oops... mature players going," another said.

You can see a picture of the whole squad here:

team, community, softball, men, sports, friends TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


The famous quote from playwright George Bernard Shaw says, "We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing."

Never has the quote been more fitting. Friendship, community, and even play are things all of us humans need. We only need it more as we age. Loneliness reduces our lifespan, while friendship improves not only our longevity but our happiness and quality of life. It may be a simple softball league, but it means a lot to the men who participate, and especially to Bradbury.

Bradbury has a terrific outlook on his life and on how he hopes to spend the rest of his days, of which there are hopefully many. Evanz says that Bradbury is having fun with all the viral attention, and he has even joined TikTok himself so he can keep up with all the mayhem.

"I don't know if I will get another year in the league or not," he writes in the original message. "Shit, I don't buy GREEN bananas any more. But I do know, this will be the year of ball play I will remember."

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Older people get real about what it's like to move into a retirement community

"Do your homework before taking the plunge."

Image via Canva

Old people discuss what moving into a retirement community is really like.

Moving into a retirement community is a big life transition for many senior citizens. Making the choice to downsize and move into a retirement home is not an easy one that can come with many unknowns.

In an Reddit forum, member @common_grounder posed the question: "Anyone who's downsized and moved into a retirement community, what's the adjustment been like for you?"

They continued, "Has it been hard giving up your former life and belongings? Is a more simplified existence comforting to you? Has being around lots of people who are also old been a net positive or net negative?"

Older people who have made the transition into a retirement community shared their real and honest experiences for those considering making the move. These are 16 of their most informative and impactful responses:

retirement home, retirement community, retirement living, assisted living, old people The Villages Dancing GIF by Magnolia Pictures Giphy

"I've been in an Independent Living Community for 2 years. I was having some health issues and I needed a place that had on duty staff. I downsized twice. My wife and I downsized from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Apartment. My wife developed Vascular Dementia the year before the Pandemic. Eventually she went into hospice and after my 3rd hip surgery in 18 months I moved into Independent Living. My 1st year here my bride of 39 years past on from complications of the Vascular Dementia. When I first got here I participated with some of the outing and events. We get 2 meals a day and I used to do dinner with the same group daily. The Presidential election changed that. I loved the people I sat with. However I was crushed that so many of my older peers voted against their interests. I just turned 70 on D-Day. On the average I'm a "youngster" here. Before the election I constantly helped residents conquer their smartphones be it iphone or Android. Now I order lunch and dinner for me to pick up and eat alone in my apartment. I only venture out now for Dr's appointments and the occasional family outing . I guess more than any thing I miss my bride of 39 years, 44 together. I'm looking forward that my 29 year old son is getting married in August to a wonderful woman and their future looks bright. I'm grateful technology allows me to talk, text and facetime people I care about. At my age, I don't have many long time friends still on this plane of existence. Even when I downsized to this one bedroom Apartment I still have too much stuff including Heirloom China in my living room for my son that been here 2 years. Oh I almost forgot. We have a happy hour on Wednesday afternoon. I always go and get a vodka tonic and finger food. I was told by my parents to never drink alone. Do that one drink a week is me not drinking alone." —@sapotts61

"I live in a retirement community and I like it a lot. No exterior maintenance, lots of activities and amenities. Beautifully landscaped grounds and great views from my home. Being around similarly aged people is nice too. I really can’t think of a negative. But the quality of the communities vary. Do your homework before taking the plunge." —@Entire-Garage-1902

"My wife and I did it 11 years ago. We sold our 4 bedroom 3 bath 2 story house and moved into a 2 bedroom 2 bath single level house in a 55 and better community. It’s been terrific! We have a resort like pool next to the clubhouse and gym. There are tennis and pickle ball courts, gas grills, a big charcoal grill, sauna and spa. It’s a quiet, safe, well kept neighborhood with friendly neighbors." —@8amteetime

downsizing, retirement community, retirement home, moving out, downsize GIF by Stellify Media Giphy

"One month into assisted living. I think it’s going to be fine. Just another life transition like college, being on my own, getting married, having kids, building a career, moving into a bigger showplace house, etc. Just in reverse - everything getting smaller and simpler. Downsizing has been very challenging, getting rid of so many objects that still mean something to us, but won’t mean anything to our kids, and there’s not enough space in our 950 sq ft apartment. Having the staff do all the cooking - food has been quite good! - cleaning, and managing my medications, has certainly simplified our lives. And freed up time for my wife to do things she chooses, not just things she must. Moved to a different state where we knew no one, except our sons and their families, so we’re meeting a lot of new people. Haven’t really clicked with anyone yet, but have a half dozen people we can join for meals in the dining room. Yeah, adjustment is going fine." —@dnhs47

"I (64M) wasn’t ready for it and my wife and I are moving out. I miss seeing kids and families." —@MacDaddy654321

"It's a very difficult thing. It sounds simple, correct. But it's what you make of it in your new life. I used to do warranty work for brand new modular homes. Many are doing just that...downsizing. While working, you wind up chatting with many. The stories would run the whole gamut, from ecstatic to downright miserable. My takeaway if you can afford it was maybe try a couple of years' lease/rent before committing. Sit on any s to get a feel for it first. It was quite heart-wrenching at times. Should have, could have. There's mental factors to think of. Your circle of friends may change. Someone other than you could be in charge of your property. Suddenly, there's not a whole lot you can use those tools on anymore, etc. It's a tough thing to do." —@xgrader

elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, old woman Old Lady Fight GIF by BDHCollective Giphy

"We are UPSIZING when move to a retirement community." —@FootHikerUtah

"We upsized into a 55+ community. Sometimes I miss the age diversity with neighbors but my husband and I are 64, pretty active with previously established friendships, part time jobs, and our family. We like that there is a clubhouse with book clubs, game nights, community dinners and a lovely swimming pool. I feel like it’s a home where we can age in place for as long as possible." —@Competitive-Ice2956

"I am almost 70. I have downsized hugely. I lived in a retirement community for 4 years from 61 to 65 I hated it!" —@Direct_Ad2289

"We’ve been in an over 55 community 8 yrs. I love my little house, all on one floor, lots of storage. It’s a bit lonely when our snow bird neighbors go home for the summer, but the grocery store is less crowded. We’ve had several neighbors die recently, but that’s why they call this Gods waiting room. It’s also worrisome to see neighbors having physical or dementia like issues. We aren’t into the pool scene or golf, but we love the indoor walking track. The entertainment shows are a hassle, gotta get those tickets months in advance. We tried a few day long bus trips but their prices are way too high now. Our community is over 40 yrs old and pre 2020 we had thriving crafts, cards, wood, metal, auto, photo clubs….people in charge of those kind of drifted away during the lockdown and a lot of knowledge and organizational skills to run those programs were lost. It’s very quiet here, most neighbors keep their homes very tidy. I’m in a single family home, I have yearly membership dues but no HOA…those are running around $300 a month. We have a great Facebook page that helps us all stay connected and compare notes. All in all I have zero qualms about leaving my old life." —@Adrift715

"2/2 1400 sq ft villa. It was hard deciding what to keep and what to get rid of at first, but in the end, it was liberating. I love the fact that we can just lock the door and leave without having to worry about outside maintenance." —@RowdyRumRunner

over 55, over 55 community, retirement, retirement community, retirement home homer simpson episode 10 GIF Giphy

"I’m in a 55 and over community. It’s a very active community, dances at least 2 per month, bingo on Sunday, movies on Thursday, exercise classes at least 3 per day including yoga, karaoke, cards, swimming…I could go on but you get the drift. No obligation to attend any of the activities but they are available. No meals, this is independent living. I’m really happy here, best choice I made after selling my house. Downside for some is living with rules, some people don’t like picking up after their dogs or speed limits or whatever, my place isn’t super controlling but any rules are too much for some people." —@Kitchen-Fee-5114

"I like it, being on my own I didn’t want a house with all the maintenance. I have a small apartment so I had to get rid of a lot of stuff, that can be hard but I did it. Where I live there is a lot of activities if you are interested, but it’s independent living and some people like that and some don’t. I have made friends, play cards and always have something to do if I’m bored. One of the things you don’t think of is that you meet people and then they die. That is something that can be hard to deal with." —@Birdy304

aging, aging well, happy aging, getting old, old people Aging Golden Girls GIF by All Better Giphy

"I upsized when I moved to a retirement community - my Manhattan apartment was 440 square feet, and my car was in a garage two miles away. Here in Connecticut, I've got 1500 square feet plus a basement and garage. I've got more stuff than ever." —@vinyl1earthlink

"We downsized from our home we lived in for 35 years to a tiny home (399 sq ft) three years ago. While the community is not age restricted, 95% of the people are retired and at least 65. We live on a lake so I get to fish as much as I want. Wife enjoys a bunch of activities such as water aerobics, arts and crafts and dancing. We travel the park in a golf cart. It’s takes minutes to get from one activity to the next. Overall we love it." —@Dicedlr711vegas

This article originally appeared in June.

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Golden Years

I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on."

Canva

Two hands of different ages grasp one another.

There are only a few things in this life we can't evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there's Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

Know someone before you marry them.

A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone's "true nature" to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, "A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year."

So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. "Slow down," she said. "Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don't get stuck."

elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

Some research shows that the "honeymoon phase" can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, "The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates."

No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

Listen to your doctors

elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure A doctor examining a patient's wrist with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, "Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they're doing."

We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, "No. Really." She added, "Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it's too late."

Understand that time is precious

elderly, aging, friendship, time, Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You're never prepared."

If you don't want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don't have to.

On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn't mean you can't put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn't mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

One man noted, "Just because we all live in one place doesn't mean we all become one person. We've got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It's still your life."

His friend added, "If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!"

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Grandma goes viral with 3 perfect, hilarious rules for her funeral

We finally know why Bertha's not invited.

Grandma goes viral for her three simple yet hilarious 'funeral rules'
Grandma goes viral for her three simple yet hilarious 'funeral rules'

Forget kids. Grandmas say the darndest things. One grandma in particular took TikTok by storm for her brutally honest, yet hilarious “funeral rules.” And though Grandma Lill adds the caveat that it won’t be anytime soon, you had better remember these rules when the day finally comes. Or there might be two funerals to plan.

95-year-old Grandma Lill is no stranger to the spotlight. Her social media bios all read “I’m a celebrity” and she’s not foolin’ around. She has her own clothing line, YouTube Channel and her name has been uttered by the likes of Jimmy Kimmel and Steve Harvey. She’s basically the internet’s favorite granny.


TikTok · grandma_droniakwww.tiktok.com


But this video takes the cake at a whopping 50 million views. She’s gone full-blown viral now. Probably because she inadvertently brings up some little gems of wisdom we could all apply to dealing with the passing of a loved one.

Or maybe it's just cause she's delightfully cantankerous. Either way, it makes for some wholesome entertainment.

Without further ado, here are those three important rules:

1. Cry. But not too much.

Or, as Grandma Lill puts it, “don’t make a fool of yourself.”

Funerals can be just as much about commemorating as they are expressing grief. We can also share the happy memories we have of those who have passed, not just shed tears.

I think this is what grandma Lill was getting at. Or maybe she just doesn’t like you stealing the attention.

2. Bertha ISN'T invited.

Whoever this Bertha chick is … she messed up. She messed up big time. Bertha, you have been CANCELED.

And hey, why shouldn’t we decide who’s on the invite list for our last big day? If, for example, there’s a family member who caused a lot of pain, or with whom we just didn’t share a kinship … perhaps there doesn’t have to be an obligation to invite them to these major life moments.

Basically, this is your permission slip to openly decline any and all Berthas in your life. That goes for weddings, birthday parties, baby showers … you name it. Don’t let her in!

3. Get drunk afterward.

As long as you take a shot for Grandma Lill.

After the ceremony honors what’s lost, take a moment to let go and move forward with the life that is still around you. Something tells me that letting it all go and celebrating life is something Grandma Lill’s a pro at.

Check out Grandma Lill's 'Funeral Rules' below:

@grandma_droniak

it wont be any time soon but dont forget it #funeral #grandma #rules #dontcry #funeralservices #wake #greenscreen

Thousands of commenters chimed in to celebrate Lill's rules. But the overwhelming sentiment from almost every single one of them was: We need the full story of the beef with Bertha!

Lucky for us, all was revealed two years later when Grandma Lills made a video about attending Bertha's funeral. Bertha had, allegedly, tried to hook up with Lill's late husband. Not cool, Bertha! "I always knew I would outlive her," grandma joked.

In another recent viral video, Lill spoofs popular "Get Ready With Me" videos from other influencers by bringing the viewer along as she gets dressed for a funeral. Of course, funerals aren’t the only topic Grandma Lill can make you laugh about.

Her TikTok channel is a carefully curated gallery of pure funny. Everything from bingo jokes to advice for getting back at your ex (yeah, she shows no mercy) can be found here.


@grandma_droniak

rip arthur. who knows what we could have been

No one likes funerals, least of all the person who's there to be mourned. It's why the idea of the Irish Wake is so popular — a spirited celebration of life that encourages laughter and merriment. Grandma Lills definitely has the right idea about how she wants to go out, and now that it's cemented in Internet lore, her kids and grandkids will be forced to honor her wishes when the day comes.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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