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Teachers share their sweetest gifts from students and it's a moving lesson in generosity

The most thoughtful gifts often cost nothing at all.

Heather Babin Benoit/Instagram (via Upworthy)

A simple purple crayon can mean more than any expensive gift.

Generosity comes in many forms, but the most beautiful gifts come straight from the heart, no matter how much they cost. And when a heartfelt gift comes from a child? That's a pure form of giving that's hard to match.

A former teacher shared a story of the most memorable gift a student had ever given her, and it prompted a flood of teachers sharing similar stories that show the meaning of true generosity.

Heather Babin Benoit shared a photo of a small white gift box with a purple crayon inside it with the following story:

"Nine years ago, a student of mine saw other kids giving me presents and he had nothing to give. He took a box from a present he was given and his purple crayon from his pouch and wrapped it. He walked up to me and said, 'I hope you love it, it is your favorite color.' I still get tears in my eyes when I open this box.

Purple is my favorite color. He knew that. He paid attention to what I said. He didn’t have much to give in his eyes but he gave me so much more than a purple crayon. He gave me love. He gave me his heart. He gave me a kind gesture.

Nine years ago, it was my last Christmas as a classroom teacher. I received many gifts in this lifetime, but this present will always be a gentle reminder that it is always the thought that counts."

The comments on Upworthy's share of the story on Instagram were filled with teachers sharing similarly meaningful gifts their students had given them over the years. (Fair warning: If the purple crayon didn't already have you grabbing a tissue, you might want to grab one now.)

"A student once got me a dryer sheet. He had a troubled home life and didn’t have a lot of money, but he brought me a dryer sheet for Christmas because 'It’s my favorite smell, and I wanted you to have one to smell too!' It’s been 8 years, and I still have that dryer sheet. ❤️" – @roxanneamarques

"I had little boy in my Kindergarten classroom who brought me a mostly used bottle of old perfume. He said I’m sorry it’s all I had. I assured him I loved it and he said. “It was my Mom’s favorite perfume and you remind me of her.” His Mom had died the year before. The most selfless and heartfelt gift I have ever received." – @carol_j_becker

"This reminds of a student I had when I taught 1st grade, his family didn’t have money for store bought valentines so he hand wrote valentines on loose leaf paper with pencil to every student in the class. Kids understand the true meaning of giving." – @heatherbee721

"Years ago a student gave me a tiny piece of paper with just a curved line on it. It was our last day working together and he told me it was a smile. I still have that little smile in my office. 🥰" – @orangegrad

"Years ago when I taught pre-k, a child gave me a packet of ketchup for Christmas so he’d have something to give me. His mom worked at a burger place and he spent his afternoons and evenings there sitting in a booth because she had no child care. 😢❤️" – @awcarlsson

"One year one of my first graders gave me 2 extra long Slim Jim beef sticks that I believe were intended for her own snack. Keep in mind I am a vegetarian. 2 hours into our day she came up to me and said Ms. Hagan, I’m really hungry and think I need to eat one of those Slim Jims I said absolutely. Then an hour later she came back and whispered, I’m starving and I need to eat that other Slim Jim. Best present ever and best story. 😂😍" – @lu.hagan

"My daughter was teaching at a school where many students didn’t have money for gifts or great home situations. A little girl who received free breakfast took all the marshmallows from her cereal box and put them in the bag the plastic silverware came in to give my daughter her teacher as her Christmas gift. I could still cry thinking about how much her little heart wanted to just give a gift to her teacher." – @stacykib

Other commenters shared how much the story meant to them.

"I really hope that kid sees this someday and then he'll know how many people smiled because of his beautiful purple crayon," wrote one person.

"You cannot compete with the pure innocence of a child, that’s why their energy must be protected," shared another.

"I'm not sure which is more beautiful. That the student gave the sentimental gesture, or that the teacher recognized the sentiment in the gesture. Both are making me cry," shared another.

Indeed, giving a gift from the heart is one thing; recognizing the value of such a gift is another. May we all be thoughtful givers and receivers, especially with the children in our lives.

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Family

Permission to pare down: Having too many toys is actually bad for young kids' development

A good research-backed reminder as we head into the holidays.

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

The holidays often add more toys to already toy-saturated households.

Childhood is the time for play and imagination, but in the modern era, that's often translated into toys, toys and more toys. There's nothing wrong with toys, of course—humans have been making toys of one kind or another across cultures for millennia. But in our age, endless aisles of consumerism means an overabundance of toy options that can easily overtake the playroom.

It doesn't help that toys have gotten increasingly cheaper over the past 30 years. And with the holidays approaching, families often feel compelled to pile the presents high and deep, leading to an ever-greater accumulation of toys.

If you feel like it's all too much, you're not wrong. And thankfully, there's research to back you up on this.

We all know that kids don't need a ton of toys, but not everyone knows that having too many toys is actually bad for kids. And I don't just mean in a too-many-toys-will-spoil-them kind of way. As child development expert Dan Wuori shared on X, "In a 2018 study, researchers observed two different toddler play settings—one with 16 toys and the other with only 4. What they found was that the children presented with fewer options actually engaged more deeply in play. They stayed focused longer and used the toys available to them in more imaginative ways. Which is just what we want, developmentally."

He also pointed out that the parents participating in the study estimated that their children had, on average, 90 toys at home. That's a whole lot of toys to choose from.

For one, spaces with too many toys can be overstimulating and overwhelming for young children. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop that had dozens of flavors and tried to pick just one? Even adults can find their decision-making skills stymied by having too many choices, so imagine being a small child who is new to everything trying to decide what to play with.

Also, fewer toys helps kids focus and play more deeply, in addition to helping encourage problem-solving skills. If a child gets frustrated with a toy that they can't figure out how to use, they'll be tempted to move on to an easier one if there are tons to choose from. If they are limited by what's available, they're more likely to take the time to figure it out.

The good news is that having a lot of toys doesn't automatically mean your kid is going to be hindered developmentally. There are several ways parents can make a big difference here:

- Establish a regular pattern of purging. Determine how many toys is "enough" toys, and set the expectation that when a new toy comes in, an old one goes out. Keep it positive by donating toys and explaining it as "sharing the toy joy" with other kids.

- Rotate the toys you do have. Keep a few toys out and stash the others away, out of sight and out of reach. When a child seems to have exhausted a toy, replace it with one from the stash. This way children only have access to a few toys at a time so they get the benefit of both a limited number of toys to play with and also the benefit of having a variety of toys to rotate.

- Remember that toys don't need to be fancy or complex. Open-ended toys that can be used for lots of different kinds of play are often popular choices, but kids can make almost anything into a toy. Most parents discover that their toddler is more interested in the box than the toy that came in it—just go with it. Often the fewer toys they have, the more imaginative they will be in making everyday objects into playthings.

- If you're concerned about your kid getting a deluge of toys for Christmas, maybe suggest some alternatives to well-meaning family members that can still be wrapped and unwrapped (which is most of the fun of giving and getting presents). There are practical options that kids actually get into, like a toothbrush set, bath towel, cup or other useful item in their favorite colors or characters. A watch or a sleeping bag or their own set of kitchen tools are also great options. Arts and crafts materials, depending on the age, can be a big hit, too.

A handful of toys is truly all kids need at one time, so give yourself permission to pare down the playroom. It will not only save a lot of mess but it's actually a healthy choice for your child in the long run.

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Identity

A Christmas PSA: Please be mindful about what gifts Santa brings your kids

A mom is asking people to consider the bigger picture when deciding what Santa will deliver to your house.

Mary Katherine Backstrom/Facebook, Photo by Samuel Holt on Unsplash

Mary Katherine Backstrom makes a strong argument for keeping Santa gifts simple.

Every family has its own traditions and ways of doing things around the holidays, from cooking specific foods to engaging in specific cultural rituals to how the myth of Santa gets handled. In general, it's wise to live and let live when it comes to such things, but one mom is making a strong case for rethinking what gifts Santa brings kids for Christmas in the larger context of community.

Mary Katherine Backstrom has been posting a public service announcement of sorts every year for the past decade, asking people to be mindful about other families' economic realities and how a family's Santa gifts can impact other people's children. Her message makes perfect sense, but it's something people who have never struggled financially might never consider.

"My annual PSA from a child who grew up poor," Backstrom captioned her video plea. She began by sharing that her parents separated when she was little, and she lived with her mom, who didn't always have the means to give her kids a lot for Christmas.

"Every Christmas, I would split my time between my mom and my dad," she said, explaining that her dad's side of the family had a lot of money. She would see her cousins getting thousands of dollars in gifts from Santa, while her gifts from Santa at home were far more modest. So she would go from being happy with what she'd received to questioning why Santa didn't think she'd been good enough to receive the expensive gifts he brought her cousins.

"There is seriously nothing wrong with what you can give your child for Christmas. It doesn't matter. That's not the point," she said. "But when we tell children that Santa Claus brings all of our gifts, what happens is kids like me and other children who don't have as many things will see other children getting all of these expensive toys and they'll wonder what they did wrong."

As Backstrom points out, children are naturally going to compare; that's developmentally appropriate. Kids are also very aware of what's fair and what's not, so when Santa lavishes some children with expensive presents and gives other kids a lot less, the kids whose parents don't have as much end up questioning their goodness through no fault of their own.

Watch Backstrom share her story (starting at the 2:00 minute mark):

Many people in the comments expressed gratitude for the message, saying that they, too, were the kid who thought Santa didn't like them.

"I was that child too," shared one commenter. "I hated when school started back after Christmas and the teacher would go around the room and ask everyone to tell what they got for Christmas. It was painful and humiliating. I thought I was the only one who hated how Christmas was such a stressful time."

"I remember very clearly my friend that lived next door getting everything on her letter to santa and I didnt understand why santa hated me! I agree 100%!!" offered another.

"100% CORRECT! I was also that child and yes, I wondered if I wasn't a good enough girl to deserve the same things Santa was bringing the other children," wrote another.

Other people shared that they had simply never thought of this aspect of Christmas giving and they were thankful for the widened perspective.

"Thank you for opening my eyes. I wish I had thought about this when I was Santa!!" wrote one commenter.

"I never thought of it like this. It really has opened my eyes and heart... You are so insightful and wise. Thank you," shared another.

"I love your honesty. I never thought about this when my son believed in Santa. I wish I had," wrote another.

Unfortunately, not everyone received the kind and gentle plea with grace and understanding. Some doubled down on their "right" to have Santa bring whatever gifts they darn well please. Backstrom posted a blunt follow-up video pointing out that she was speaking from her own lived experience, not sharing some hypothetical what-if with no basis in reality.

"This PSA is telling you that you are hurting children when you associate Santa Claus with expensive gifts," she said. "I'm not gonna be delicate about this anymore, because I've been doing this PSA for 10 years now and I still get people arguing with me about it. There is nothing to argue here. We are talking about children's feelings."

Backstrom pointed to the number of people in the comments who shared that they were hurt by expensive Santa gifts as a child to illustrate that this is, actually, a real issue. And the solution is simple: Keep Santa simple and let the expensive gifts come from parents or other family members. It's really not a lot to ask to preserve a little holiday magic for kids who don't have much instead of making them question why Santa doesn't think they're good enough. Santa is a tradition millions of people share—let's keep that collective reality in mind and keep the fun in it for everyone.

You can follow Mary Katherine Backstrom for more on Facebook.

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Family

A surprising number of moms secretly hate Christmas. Here's how to bring back the joy.

No one talks about the mental and emotional toll of having to make all the holiday magic.

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Some moms are done with the holidays long before they start.

The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? Who doesn't love the decked halls, the pretty light displays, the big meals with family, the visits from Santa, the Elf on the Shelf's antics, the cookie exchanges, the caroling, the Nativity pageants, the presents under the tree and all the things that fill the Christmas season with joy and wonder?

A whole host of moms responsible for making all of those things happen, that's who.

This time of year, parenting groups start seeing anonymous posts from overwhelmed moms who admit to hating Christmas because the role of making magic for everyone else in the family has become too much. "I feel terrible for saying it but I've come to loathe the holidays," one mom shares before laying out the laundry list of magic-making to-dos added onto her already full schedule. "Is it normal to start crying in the grocery store because it's all just too much?"

Inevitably, the comments start filling up with others who feel the same way. "This is me." "I totally feel you." "I hate this time of year, too. I just can't wait for it to be over." Cue the shame and guilt of admitting a truth that no one wants to say out loud because who on Earth hates Christmas?

Clearly, this is not how any holiday is supposed to be. How did we get here and how do we fix it?

Don't start off sprinting when you're running a marathon

We'll tackle the "Moms shouldn't have to do it all!" truth in a minute, but first, let's look at the reality we're in. The age of Pinterest and HGTV and social media makes everything look like a perfect magazine spread, and the pressure is always on to up the ante. We want to create these idyllic experiences and memories for our kids, so in the beginning of our parenting journey, we may bite off more than we can reasonably chew over the long haul when it comes to holiday magic.

Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and if you don't pace yourself early on, you'll burn out. Most of the moms I see complaining about the holidays aren't the ones with little kids; they're the ones with teens who've been at this for a long time, whose families have come to expect certain traditions without recognizing how much work they take. Setting the bar too high from the get go leads to overwhelm down the road. Keep holiday traditions purposefully simple, don't give in to social pressure and remember that countless generations enjoyed the holidays without move an Elf on the Shelf every night.

We all need to intervene in the expectation that moms do it all.

As far as we've come with gender equality, we haven't solved the problem of moms being the "default parent." We've gotten better about things like dividing up household chores, but the mental load of moms still largely goes unrecognized. In some families, this is more of a reality than in others, but statistics show that moms still bear most of the mental load of parenting—making sure kids' clothes fit, keeping track of doctor and dentist appointments, basic well-being responsibilities, and the like. This is true even for moms who work full-time, so adding "making holiday magic" on top of all that feels like just one more thing, even when that one thing seems like it should be fun.

The responsibility for changing that shouldn't all fall on mothers' shoulders. A little more acknowledgment that moms' plates are already full and doing something—anything—to take some things off those plates will go a long way toward making the holidays more enjoyable for everyone.

Moms, you've gotta learn to delegate. For real.

The problem with moms doing it all is that no one else even knows what needs to be done. The invisible work moms do is just that—invisible—unless we make it known. I know a lot of women don't want to complain, but it doesn't even need to be a complaint—just a statement of reality that this is what it takes to make a holiday special and everyone needs to shoulder some of the load.

For some moms, this means learning to let go of some of that Pinterest-driven perfection. Let your kids decorate the house. Let it be imperfect. Start saying no to the parts of holiday planning that don't bring you joy. If the Secret Santa gift exchange at work sounds more stressful than festive, opt out. Delegate Christmas dinner dishes to all family members who are old enough to cook. Tell the family that if they enjoy the holiday traditions, they have to start being responsible for them. The sooner you start spreading out the magic-making, the less stressful the holidays will be and the more prepared your kids will be for adulthood. Win win.

Simplify, simplify, simplify.

We live in a world that constantly tells us to do more, have more, be more. But we don't have to. Doing less can feel like going against the grain, but prioritizing what really matters and letting go of expectations we've piled onto ourselves is incredibly freeing. If it feels like too much, it's too much. It's okay for traditions to change. It's okay to let the ones that no longer spark joy to dissolve into just fond memories.

The Christmas season should be a time of joy and family connection—everything else is extra. So decide on a few things that are really important to you and your family, work together to make that special and let the "magic" come from remembering and focusing on what really matters.

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