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Mom finds brilliant way to tell her kids the 'truth' about Santa and other parents take notes

If you're a parent struggling how to break the news, this might help.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

How to tell your kids the truth about Santa.

"It's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime of the — OH NO, did Charlie just ask if Santa is real?!"

If you're a parent in a household that celebrates Christmas, you can likely relate to the dreaded Santa Claus conversation. It may come with tears, it may come with tantrums, and it may even be worse for you, seeing that heart-wrenching look of disappointment spread across your child's once-merry face.

It's a dilemma Charity Hutchinson of British Columbia was pondering, as a mom to two young boys and the two nephews she cares for as well.

family, advice, truth for kids

Hutchinson family and the truth about Santa.

Photo by Theresa Easter Photography.

One of Hutchinson's nephews raised the notorious question, telling her he no longer believed in Santa Claus.

"I felt sad because he seemed disappointed telling me his news," she explained in a message. "And in that moment I didn't know what to say to him."

Hutchinson soon stumbled upon some advice online, finding what she described as “by far the best idea I’ve seen about telling your kids about Santa."

The idea of Santa may seem frivolous to many adults, but to believe in something much bigger than yourself, only to learn you've been lied to by the people you trust most in the world? That can be a really big deal to a kid (and can possibly even create long-term trust issues for them, as one study found). The Santa conversation is one many parents understandably want to get right.

So when Hutchinson saw one of her friends on Facebook share an anonymous post detailing a strategy for breaking the news to your kids without disappointing them, she was thrilled.

Hutchinson loved the idea so much, she shared it on Facebook as well:

This is by far the best idea I've seen about telling your kids about Santa. Had to share! *********"In our family, we...
Posted by Charity Hutchinson on Tuesday, November 29, 2016

This is how it works:

1. Find a time to take your kid out, one-on-one, to a favorite spot and deliver the great news: The time has come for them to become a Santa.

"When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready. I take them out 'for coffee' at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made: 'You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too.'"

The post suggests pointing to a few different examples of how your kid has shown empathy or done something nice for another person throughout the past year. Let them know it was in those moments they proved themselves worthy of finally "becoming a Santa" themselves.

2. Assure your kid that they're ready to become a Santa because they understand the true meaning of giving (it's not just about the milk and cookies).

"You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that because they aren't ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE."

Get them talking about all the reasons they think Santa's the best. They may start out by pointing to his sleigh-riding skills or the fact he can go around the whole world in just one night. But move the conversation toward Santa being not so much of a cool person, but a cool concept that's focused on giving. Handing out presents makes the spirit of Santa a spectacular thing. Because your kid understands why giving back matters too, it's time they become a Santa themselves.

Also, "make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone," the post notes.

3. Now that they're in on the secret, have them choose someone who could really use a great gift and devise a plan to give it away — secretly, of course.

"We then have the child choose someone they know — a neighbor, usually. The child's mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it — and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving."

In the original post, the writer explains that their oldest child decided to buy a gift for a neighbor who always walked out to get the newspaper without her shoes on. Their son spied on the neighbor one day from the bushes to estimate her shoe size — he predicted she wore mediums — and then slipped a pair of slippers under her driveway gate one evening with a note "from Santa." The following morning, the neighbor was spotted wearing the slippers. Their son was ecstatic.

4. Remind them that being a Santa is top-secret business. And that, next year, they can carry on with their selfless Santa duties once again.

"I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did or he wouldn't be a Santa. Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them."

One year, for instance, he polished up a bike for a family friend's daughters. The writer's son was just as over the moon about giving the gift as the daughters were about receiving it.

In a little over a week, Hutchinson's post has racked up thousands of Likes and shares, with plenty of thankful parents chiming in in the comments.

"I never imagined it would be so popular!" Hutchinson explains. "I mean, it felt special when I read it and completely gave me goosebumps, but I didn't realize it would go this far."

Where the original post came from is still somewhat of a mystery. As The Huffington Post reported, it seems to have first cropped up in 2007 in an online forum. Ever since, the idea has floated around the web here and there, but has only made waves recently with Hutchinson's post going viral.

The secret of being a Santa, so to speak, has already worked its holiday magic on Hutchinson's once-suspicious nephew.

Filling him in on becoming a Santa was an instant game-changer, she says.

"His eyes lit right up," she writes. "That excitement and joy returned to him and he couldn't stop asking me questions! ... Instantly I could see the wheels were turning and he started planning who his special target would be and what he would get them and how he'd pull it off."

Hutchinson is happy her simple Facebook post has turned into something so special. "It isn't just a nice way to break the news to your kids," she writes. "But it really teaches them about the true meaning of Christmas and how you should always give to others."


This article originally appeared on 12.09.16

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Education

Over-the-top school dress-up weeks have parents feeling grinchy

The holidays are busy enough without throwing "dress as your favorite Christmas song" into the mix.

Photo by Geoffrey Moffett on Unsplash, @riahthelee/X

Time to rein in the school dress-up days, folks.

Hey, kids! Happy December! We know that school can feel like drudgery, and it's been a few months since school started, and we want you to not hate coming here, so we decided to do something fun and festive that we think will create a sense of school pride and spirit! It's school dress-up week!

What this means is that during the busiest time of the year, when your parents are already up to their ears in holiday prep, shopping for and wrapping gifts, planning and attending work parties and end-of-year recitals and concerts, trying to navigate the emotional complexities of holiday family drama, trying to make your Christmas magical by moving that frickin' Elf on the Shelf every night, etc., we're going to add to the to-do list by pressuring them to help you come up with specific outfits to wear to school for an entire week. Doesn't that sound neat?

Dress-up weeks are fun on paper, and they can be fun when they're kept super simple. "Wear red or green!" is easy enough. "Dress as your favorite Christmas character!" though? Not so much.

Parents are crying uncle on over-the-top dressup weeks, saying it's just too much. A mom who goes by Mariah on X shared her frustration with how "ridiculous" the whole thing has become.

"I have 2 kids and 9 different dress up days next week," she wrote, before laying out some of the significant problems with said days:

"1. It expects families to be able to go out at the drop of a hat and get multiple Christmas character shirts and ugly sweaters at the most expensive time of year. It’s just another way to alienate kids whose families can’t afford a bunch of extra stuff or the mental load of the extra work.

2. It also assumes EVERYONE in the school celebrates Christmas and creates a whole week out of dressing up for it. Most people do celebrate Christmas where I live but then it’s even more alienating for people that don’t."

Then she offered a simple solution: "Have a PJ Day on the last day before break and call it good… please."

Mariah is certainly not the only parent to feel strongly about dress-up weeks—or months. Some parents shared that their young elementary school kids—second and third graders—had dress-up days the entire month of December leading up to the holiday break.

It's one thing when it's high schoolers who might have the ability to take themselves to a thrift store or whip together some kind of outfit themselves, but for elementary school kids, it's 100% on the parents.

Some teachers are even weighing in with why they dislike dress-up days as well, both for the annoyance and the lack of inclusivity.

Some people offered solutions that allow those who enjoy dress-up days to have their fun while taking the pressure off of everyone else. For instance, one teacher shared that her school dress-up days are always a specific way of dressing up OR wearing school colors. She said many of the students opt for school colors so no one feels like the odd one out for not wearing their PJs or holiday socks or whatever.

She said it's helpful for her as a teacher as well, since dress-up days are a lot of pressure and can mean spending extra money that a lot of teachers don't have to spend.

What if schools moved the dress-up days to January, when the holiday hustle and bustle has passed and the long winter could use an extra dose of fun? What if they kept them super simple, sticking to colors or general things that are easy for everyone, like "Wear your favorite comfy pants" or "Silly hairstyle day" or something like that.

The bottom line is to not let school dress-up days turn into the road to hell paved with good intentions. Rein it in, folks, for the parents' sake.

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Science

Reusable cloth Christmas bags are all the rage, saving wrapping time, money and the planet

They're also way cozier than the 2 million pounds of wrapping paper that ends up in landfills every year.

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People are moving to cloth gift bags as a lot of wrapping paper can't be recycled.

As an Amazon Associate, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

Wrapping paper is a delightful invention, with all of its fun patterns and colors and wrapping methods, all in service of keeping gifts a surprise.

It's also a total environmental blight, unfortunately. Most wrapping paper is one-time use only, as what makes it pretty and shiny and durable are usually plastics that can't be separated from the paper for recycling. So into the landfill it goes, to the tune of 2.3 million pounds a year, according to Popular Science.

You can try to reuse wrapping paper, of course, but have you ever seen a kid tear into a Christmas present? You can try wrapping with simple brown paper, which is recyclable, but doesn't feel particularly festive. You could buy eco-friendly wrapping paper, shelling out a pretty penny for something that's still going to have to be purchased again and again.

OR you can go a whole new route by ditching the paper altogether and going for the truly old-fashioned, easy peasy solution of cloth gift bags that you either purchase or make yourself. If you think that sounds like a bit of a stretch, hold the judgment until you see how utterly adorable these bags are.

Cloth bags save so much time and headache compared to paper wrapping. Weirdly shaped gifts no longer matter as long as they fit in the bag. They also save you money over time if you use them for your household's gifts and store them away with your holiday decorations each year. If you make them yourself, you can choose any color or pattern theme you want, but there are plenty of readymade coordinated options out there now to go with any decor.

And no, kids don't care—in fact, they will probably appreciate the fact that their gift wrap is eco-friendly and they may even get nostalgic about seeing the familiar wrappings each year. (Our family has used cloth to wrap for presents for years, and our kids have actually developed favorites.)

Here's a simple example—a mix of classic red-and-white patterns in assorted sizes for a bright, classic look. How lovely would a stash of these look all gathered under the tree?

red and white cloth gift bags

Red and white always works for Christmas.

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What if you went with a classy gold theme for this year's decor and want the presents under the tree to match for a perfectly Instagrammable Christmas morning? Here's a similar set in a gold-and-white pattern.

gold and white gift bags

Go for the gold with this set of Christmas gift bags.

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Maybe you're going for more of a cozy, casual, log cabin-y feel for your holiday. Plenty of plaid in Christmas colors right here.

plaid christmas gift bags

Cozy, cozy flannel bags with Christmas sayings on them

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If you're more drawn to the classic, Norman Rockwell, Christmases-of-yore vibe, check out these nostalgic Christmas prints:

vintage christmas cloth bags

These gift bags look like a throwback to "It's a Wonderful Life."

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Maybe you're a modern maven with monochromatic merry-making methodologies. Or perhaps you'd like to be able to reuse your bags at other times of the year, too. These black-and-white babies might just do the trick.

black and white gift bags

These black-and-white bags could be used for any occasion.

Amazon

How about a standard-Christmas-wrapping-paper look, only as cloth Christmas gift bags instead?

mix of colorful Christmas bags

Get your colorful Christmas on.

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Or maybe you don't want a distinctively Christmas feel at all, but rather a mix of pretty, festive bags that could be used for the holidays or any time of year. There's a whole assortment to choose from here to go with whatever your particular color theme might be.

mix of cloth bag patterns

Christmas bags don't have to be Christmas-themed..

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Or maybe you want the opposite—just blatantly Christmas-y images in bright, bold colors plastered all over everything. Here ya go:

assortment of colorful christmas gift bags

So many Christmas gift bag options

Amazon

There's just no shortage of options for cloth gift bags that are worth investing in to save time, money and the environment. Just be sure to check sizes so there are no surprises, grab a wide assortment and then revel in the fact that you'll never get a paper cut or have to search for another roll of tape while wrapping presents for your family again.

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Permission to pare down: Having too many toys is actually bad for young kids' development

A good research-backed reminder as we head into the holidays.

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

The holidays often add more toys to already toy-saturated households.

Childhood is the time for play and imagination, but in the modern era, that's often translated into toys, toys and more toys. There's nothing wrong with toys, of course—humans have been making toys of one kind or another across cultures for millennia. But in our age, endless aisles of consumerism means an overabundance of toy options that can easily overtake the playroom.

It doesn't help that toys have gotten increasingly cheaper over the past 30 years. And with the holidays approaching, families often feel compelled to pile the presents high and deep, leading to an ever-greater accumulation of toys.

If you feel like it's all too much, you're not wrong. And thankfully, there's research to back you up on this.

We all know that kids don't need a ton of toys, but not everyone knows that having too many toys is actually bad for kids. And I don't just mean in a too-many-toys-will-spoil-them kind of way. As child development expert Dan Wuori shared on X, "In a 2018 study, researchers observed two different toddler play settings—one with 16 toys and the other with only 4. What they found was that the children presented with fewer options actually engaged more deeply in play. They stayed focused longer and used the toys available to them in more imaginative ways. Which is just what we want, developmentally."

He also pointed out that the parents participating in the study estimated that their children had, on average, 90 toys at home. That's a whole lot of toys to choose from.

For one, spaces with too many toys can be overstimulating and overwhelming for young children. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop that had dozens of flavors and tried to pick just one? Even adults can find their decision-making skills stymied by having too many choices, so imagine being a small child who is new to everything trying to decide what to play with.

Also, fewer toys helps kids focus and play more deeply, in addition to helping encourage problem-solving skills. If a child gets frustrated with a toy that they can't figure out how to use, they'll be tempted to move on to an easier one if there are tons to choose from. If they are limited by what's available, they're more likely to take the time to figure it out.

The good news is that having a lot of toys doesn't automatically mean your kid is going to be hindered developmentally. There are several ways parents can make a big difference here:

- Establish a regular pattern of purging. Determine how many toys is "enough" toys, and set the expectation that when a new toy comes in, an old one goes out. Keep it positive by donating toys and explaining it as "sharing the toy joy" with other kids.

- Rotate the toys you do have. Keep a few toys out and stash the others away, out of sight and out of reach. When a child seems to have exhausted a toy, replace it with one from the stash. This way children only have access to a few toys at a time so they get the benefit of both a limited number of toys to play with and also the benefit of having a variety of toys to rotate.

- Remember that toys don't need to be fancy or complex. Open-ended toys that can be used for lots of different kinds of play are often popular choices, but kids can make almost anything into a toy. Most parents discover that their toddler is more interested in the box than the toy that came in it—just go with it. Often the fewer toys they have, the more imaginative they will be in making everyday objects into playthings.

- If you're concerned about your kid getting a deluge of toys for Christmas, maybe suggest some alternatives to well-meaning family members that can still be wrapped and unwrapped (which is most of the fun of giving and getting presents). There are practical options that kids actually get into, like a toothbrush set, bath towel, cup or other useful item in their favorite colors or characters. A watch or a sleeping bag or their own set of kitchen tools are also great options. Arts and crafts materials, depending on the age, can be a big hit, too.

A handful of toys is truly all kids need at one time, so give yourself permission to pare down the playroom. It will not only save a lot of mess but it's actually a healthy choice for your child in the long run.

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