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Grandma has the perfect solution for grandparents who buy too many gifts for their grandkids

This is an all too common issue, especially around the holidays.

@morethangrand/TikTok

Gift giving should feel good for the giver and the receiver. But around the holidays, it can be a major cause of stress.

DeeDee Moore, a grandma behind the website More Than Grand, recently shared on the organization's TikTok account that “too much stuff” given from grandparents to their grandkids is one of the main sources of holiday frustration for parents.

“75% of the parents that we surveyed wished grandparents would respect their wishes about gifts,” she explained, noting that while there are myriad reasons why this would be the case, the most common one (and incidentally the one most "waved off” by the grandparents) is the lack of physical space to accommodate.

However, when Moore breaks down the math, it’s a bit hard to deny.

“Say your grandson has four other grandparents and four aunts and uncles. Each of these people get him one gift for a second birthday. That’s already nine gifts plus something for mom and dad. We’re up to 10,” she said.

“If all of those grandparents buy him three things, and two of the aunts get him a little extra something, that’s 22 presents for a 2 year old who would be just as happy with a box.”

Yikes, gotta admit that’s a lot. And that’s not counting the additional problems too much gift-giving can incite listed on the More Than Grand website, which included:

Undermining the parent’s values that they are trying to instill to their children

Damaging a child’s ability to use their imagination

Normalizing overconsumption

Teaching children to associate seeing grandma or grandpa with getting a gift, rather than focusing on the actual relationship

These are all good points, and yet, what to do with all those good intentions and a desire to spoil some precious little nugget? Luckily, Moore has the perfect fix.

“While your grandchildren are faced with getting too many gifts, many children are in the opposite situation. Take some of the things you bought to Toys for Tots or another organization that provides gifts for less fortunate families.”

This allows folks to step into the “true spirit of giving,” Moore concluded.

Viewers by and large seemed to agree, though many also noted how powerful experiential or future-building gifts could be, even if they're not as cute as toys.

“My in-laws opened up a college fund for both my kids. Instead of stuff they put more money in the account. I’m so grateful!” one person wrote.

Another added, “I am giving experiences and putting money in an account for future needs (college, 1st house, starting business, etc).”

In the vein, here are two other tips grandparents can use for intentional gift-giving…

First and foremost: open up a discussion with the parents. See if they need help with a big ticket item, find out which hobby or sport the child is interested in, ask what’s a definite “no.” this can save a lot of headaches for everyone.

Second: prioritize memories over stuff. A trip to the zoo, an education membership, a ticket for two to the movies…these are often the gifts that truly keep on giving.

And grandparents, don’t forget: just because you’re honoring boundaries, it doesn't mean you have to pass up that sweet little something you see in the aisles. It can easily go to a little one who could really use it.

For even more tip on all things grandparenting, give More Than Grand a follow here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Couple's 'Merry Gen Xmas' song is the ultimate holiday anthem for 80s kids

"Nobody did Xmas like Gen X."

Holderness Family Music/Youtube

Wow, the things people did for a Cabbage Patch doll.

Once upon a time—the 70s and 80s, to be exact—Christmas didn’t have iPads, or FaceTiming grandma, or comparing gift hauls on social media. Instead, it provided trees filled to the brim with tinsel, holiday figurines that looked ancient and quite possibly possessed, and the only “high tech” toy in sight would be something battery operated. Or maybe one of those new fangled “video games” everyone’s talking about.

But alas, time moves on. These once cool and trendy gifts, along with many Gen X staples, have now become relics of a bygone era. Kim and Penn Holderness of The Holderness Family have a knack for capturing this strange phenomenon—otherwise known as growing older—in the form of endearingly funny parody songs and sketches.

Whether they’re poking fun at the *thrill* of perimenopause or the utter dismay of hearing your favorite jams get demoted to waiting room music, their videos offer equal parts nostalgia and relatable humor…and sometimes even certifiable bops!

Take for instance their recent "Merry Gen-Xmas" song, where Kim and Penn pay homage to when the holidays were simpler. When Pac Man, Teddy Ruxpin, Cabbage Patch Dolls and other rudimentary toys could make children’s spirits soar.

Keep listening to the tune, however, and the Holdernesses don’t spare us of the more…ahem…questionable aspects of Gen X Christmases—smoking inside being the norm, around a plethora of flammable materials, just to name a big one.

As icing on the cake, Kim and Penn include a ton of old childhood photos submitted by their viewers, which really take you back. So. Much. Sepia.

Watch how “nobody did Xmas like Generation X” below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Feeling seen, Gen Xers? Judging by the comments, you’re not alone. So many folks flooded the comments section of this one with their own similar childhood memories, or their own personal version of “LOL.” A few were even moved—and many felt a wave of appreciation to have grown up in a simpler time. Read below.

“Remember when we used to make ashtrays in school for gifts.”

“Goodness I wasn't prepared to get emotional watching this. As an 80's kid this was such a great bit of nostalgia. You all outdid yourself on this one.”

“As someone born in '69, I am so grateful I did not grow up in an electronic bubble! We knew how to have fun because we made it. This video is absolutely incredible, Thank you for making it!”

“Why am I crying? This is funny but making me cry too.”

“This song is awesome. It embraces nostalgia, but also acknowledges that not everything in the past was good.”

“Seriously getting teary-eyed at that. I'm a Xennial and so my memories of the early Christmases are vague. But I always love looking back at the photos. Me and my cousins all in matching Christmas dresses, yes made by my mom, and most likely worn the next year also.”

And boy, those Cabbage Patch dolls really brought out the worst in humanity, didn’t they?

“I'm a 60s and 70s generation fella. When the 80s rolled around, and when they showed on TV how people were fighting over those Cabbage Patch Kids dolls, I and others of my Generation were shocked in horror. MY WORD ! Those people should have been in the WWF ! In fact, I think the WWF would shivered in fear of those crazy CPF (Cabbage Patch Fighters) ! It was a whole different experience for my generation, seeing such things.”

“I can recall when I was 10 or 11 at the height of the Cabbage Patch Doll craze. I never wanted one, I was too old for dolls then, but we were at a store shopping when a shipment of them was revealed. I will never forget it, this crowd of women attacked that large pyramid of dolls like animals. Running, screaming, fighting. It was a spectacle I'll never forget. It was really disgraceful. It was weeks before Christmas.”

But also, the best…

“My parents were teachers and could NOT afford a cabbage patch doll so my mom made me one, with Pink hair! (She purchased the head at the craft shop) I was SOOOOO happy! The lady at the shop said to ‘be sure to stuff it really well’ so 41 years later this homemade doll is still standing up, arms out like she’s expecting a big hug. My sweet mom signed the bum with her own name and I still have it today. Rip to my mom who made me SO happy as an 8 year old!!”

Thanks to Kim and Penn for for giving us all a trip back in time, and all the complex feeling that come with it.

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Family

Video of husband realizing his wife's stocking went unfilled for 10 years has moms talking

What was meant as a joke felt all too real to moms responsible for creating holiday magic.

@whataboutaub/TikTok

It took ten years for a husband to realize his wife received and empty stocking every year

Back in 2021, wife and mom Aubree Jones posted a video to her TikTok that she thought would provide a relatable chuckle among other moms.

Instead, other moms found it heartbreaking.

In the clip, titled “PSA for husbands everywhere,” Aubree’s husband, Josh, is filming their family unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. He goes around to each of the family members’ stockings, until he comes upon an empty one.

“Whose is this?” Josh asks. “Is this an extra one?”

Aubree answers, “No, that’s mine,” with a smile.

Josh then asks why the stocking is empty, to which Aubree quips, “I don’t know. Santa didn’t come for me.”

“It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time,” Aubree captioned, adding, “your wife’s stocking is your responsibility."

Considering Aubree meant for the video to be a “lighthearted thing to show what moms go through," as she told TODAY.com, she was totally taken aback by the visceral, negative reactions to it.

Many noted it wasn’t just Josh’s act of forgetting to fill his wife’s stocking that was hurtful, but then simply laughing it off after realizing the neglect.


“She laughs. But I knew inside it hurt,”the top comment read.

Another person wrote, “all of us women felt that in our stomach. It hurt.”

@whataboutaub It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time. @Josh Jones #marriedlife #marriage #husbandsoftiktok #fail #ohno #christmas #psa #pregnant ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Here are a few more:

“I got a bit teary.. you can tell there is some pain behind the ‘that’s mine.’”

"The little girl in her felt so left out."

“Not just the lack of gifts. The lack of thought…”

“Believe me, she wanted to cry, not laugh.”

"This is a good example that mom does all the stuff and nobody notices."

"I would’ve been divorced.

"This literally broke my heart."

Though Aubree assured TODAY.com that her marriage dynamic was nowhere near as unhealthy as the video made it seem (she even went so far so to send a follow-up video showing how he actually did give her thoughtful Christmas gifts) her video highlighted a sad reality many moms face during the holidays.

When creating all the magic of the season—the decor, the gifts, the food, the social plans, the outfits for the Christmas card, coming up with bigger and better Elf on the Shelf position etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., all the etceteras—fall solely on their shoulders, many moms are robbed of the chance to actually enjoy it themselves.

So much has changed for women in traditional marriages, but it would be naive to think that there aren’t still ways that moms are often expected to pull off herculean feats in order for their families to enjoy the fruits of their labor, all the while juggling multiple other responsibilities, and still not fully being seen.

Still, we can find some hope in making Christmas as magical for moms as they make it for us. Some moms, like the Moms of Tampa, have made it their mission to share health co-parenting tips and skills to advocate for parents who may be forgotten in the daily shuffle.

If moms are moving heaven and earth to make sure their families feel loved this holiday season, let’s make sure we are doing the same for them.

two women kissing a little boy wearing glasses on his cheeksMeet the Moms of Tampa, winning hearts online while advocating for healthy co-parenting.

Instagram

This way everyone gets some Christmas joy.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

The surprising history behind 9 of everyone's favorite Christmas songs

What do you mean "Jingle Bells" was originally a THANKSGIVING song?!

Photo credit: Canva

Even if we've heard them a million times, there's still something new to learn and appreciate.

Even the Grinchiest among us probably has a Christmas song that lifts their spirits. After all, we’ve got so much more than traditional carols now—virtually every genre has a tune dedicated to the holiday, religious or otherwise.

In fact, as of 2019 there were an estimated 9,274 songs with the word “Christmas” in the title. And that’s obviously not counting the songs that don’t contain the word “Christmas” but are still very much Christmas songs, like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and "Frosty the Snowman.”

But did you know that many well known Christmas songs weren’t Christmas songs at all? Or that some have very close ties to war history? Or that some didn’t even become famous until many years later?

Read below for some pretty fascinating stories behind the songs that usher us into those holiday feels…some as early as Oct 25th…

"Jingle Bells"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Believe it or not, this festive, well-known Christmas staple was originally written to be sung on Thanksgiving. James Lord Pierpont composed the song, originally named ‘The One Horse Open Sleigh,’ for his Thanksgiving Sunday school class in 1850, so it makes sense that Pierpont’s lyrics contain zero mention of Christmas. They do however celebrate the New England sleigh races that were popular in the era (which is what the jingling bells refer to), and even involve a high-speed crash. Exciting!

Decades later in the 1940s, Bing Crosby removed some of Pierpont’s lyrics, renamed the song ‘Jingle Bells’ and transformed it into a Christmastime hit.

"Silent Night"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The year was 1816, not long after the 12 year Napoleonic wars had taken their toll. A young priest in Austria named Joseph Mohr went for a walk seeking inspiration for poetic verses to convey to a traumatized and poverty-stricken congregation that God was still there. As he looked out over the quiet, peaceful winter-laden town, Mohr got his wish.

And then on Christmas Eve in 1818, it was performed for the first time in an Austrian village—a simple acoustic set, played by Mohr and a friend who helped him arrange the music. ‘Silent Night Unplugged,” if you will. It was immediately well received, and quickly traveled throughout northern Europe thanks to traveling folk singers.

Cut to Christmas Truce of 1914 at the height of World War I, when fighting was temporarily suspended along several fronts in Europe so soldiers on both sides could tune their radios to hear Ernestine Schumann Heinke, a beloved Austrian opera star, perform the song. The song’s message of seeking peace even during times of great suffering probably never rang more true.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Listen, we know that capitalism has its hold on Christmas. So it’s probably not the biggest surprise that this lovely ditty about misfit cervids was actually created by a corporation.

Robert L. May, a copywriter for Montgomery Ward, was tasked to come up with a children’s storybook that could be sold at Christmas. May, who happened to be a bit of an outcast himself, based much of the book on his own experience of being teased, as well as the classic Ugly Duckling story. According to TIME, the idea almost got shelved, primarily because a focus group was concerned the red nose had “connotations of alcoholism.”

And yet, it was indeed published, and became a bestseller. But it wouldn’t truly become world famous until May's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, adapted the story into a song. The song was first introduced live on New York Radio in 1949, then was sung by singing cowboy star Gene Autry, and quickly became the first number one song of the 1950s.

Perhaps most important of all, TIME reports that while the success of Rudolph helped May get out of serious debt and put his children through college, he was also grateful to have created something that taught children “tolerance and perseverance can overcome adversity.”

“Christmas Rappin’”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Not only did Robert “Rocky” Ford’s idea for a holiday rap song become a Christmas classic, it also helped legitimize hip-hop as a genre. At the time of its debut, 1979, virtually no one even knew what rap was. But once the song achieved crazy commercial success, the industry finally took rap and hip-hop seriously.

The song was performed by Kurtis Blow, who, after the song took off, received a full album contract from Mercury Records, making him the first rapper to land a major label album deal. He later released “The Breaks,” which became the first rap song to go gold. And the rest is music history.

“Feliz Navidad”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Christmas can be a time for homesickness, and that was exactly what José Feliciano was feeling in 1970 as he was stuck in a recording studio during the holidays. He longed to celebrate Christmas Eve, aka Noche Buena, with his brothers, eating traditional Puerto Rican foods, drinking rum, and going caroling. In an effort to feel less lonely, he came up with the upbeat and jovial "Feliz Navidad.” Knowing English stations might not play the song with only Spanish lyrics, he added translated lines, making it the timeless, cross cultural hit we love today.

“Carol of the Bells”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, this popular tune, which is actually a centuries old Ukrainian folk song, was meant for a different holiday—New Year's.

Originally titled “Shchedryk,” derived from a Ukrainian word meaning “bountiful,” the four-note melody tells the story of a swallow flying into a household to proclaim the year of abundance that a family will have. It was one of many well-wishing tunes sung in many Ukrainian villages on Jan. 13 (New Year’s Eve on the Julian calendar), usually by adolescent girls going house to house in celebration of the new year in exchange for baked goods or other treats.

Then, in 1916, Ukrainian composer Mykola Leontovich used the melody to create a song for a Christmas concert, during a time of political upheaval for the country. Leontovich’s creation was hailed a masterpiece. And in 1918, when Ukraine declared independence from the Russian Empire, the song was also used as a diplomatic tool by the newly formed Ukrainian government, which sent a choir of 100 singers on a European tour to sing Ukrainian songs and promote Ukrainian identity around the world.

This of course included the United States, where the song was first performed to a sold-out audience in Carnegie Hall Oct. 5, 1921. When American choir director and arranger Peter Wilhousky eventually he was of bells. So in 1936 he wrote new lyrics and titled it "Carol of the Bells.”

In a time when Ukraine yet again fights for its cultural identity, this one feels pretty poignant to know.

“White Christmas”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Crazy to think that this biggest-selling holiday track of all time (not to mention biggest-selling song ever, according to Guinness World Records), initially performed poorly.

It is said that songwriter Irving Berlin, who lost his son on Christmas Day, channeled some of the heartache he felt after visiting his grave each year as he wrote what was supposed to be a song for a Broadway revue that never happened. It did end up making its first appearance in the 1942 musical film Holiday Inn, starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire.

At first, "White Christmas" didn’t perform as well as "Be Careful, It’s My Heart," another tune in the movie, but its melancholy lyrics perfectly captured the longing felt by soldiers in World War II, who flooded the Armed Forces Network with requests.

"White Christmas" would end up earning Berlin his first Oscar for Best Original Song in 1943 and changing Christmas music forever, establishing now steep themes of home and nostalgia. It also revealed the huge potential market for secular Christmas songs.

“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Written by Phil Spector, Ellie Greenwich, and Jeff Barry and performed by Darlene Love, this doo-wop holiday song had the ill fortune of being released on November 22, 1963—the same day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. As Spector said a half-century later. “No one was celebrating anything. There really was not a Christmas that year.” Both the song and the entire album were temporarily pulled from stores.

“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” remained in obscurity until the 1980s, when Love once again performed it—and brought the house down—on David Letterman. This started off a tradition that lasted until Christmas 2014, as Letterman retired the next May. Still, Love continued the tradition on The View, which gave the song its all-time chart peak, breaking into Billboard’s Top 20.

“All I Want for Christmas Is You”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Can you even write about Christmas songs without covering this one? We think not.

Surprisingly, Mariah Carey was at first hesitant to even create the song that would end up making her Mother Christmas, since she was concerned that a seasonal album would get her written off as a singer past her prime and alienate her hip-hop fans.

“Obviously, I couldn’t have been more wrong,” she would later tell Entertainment Weekly.

Carey made several nods to song producers of Christmas past with this modern day holiday staple, borrowing some of the styles of Phil Spector’s already established seasonal standards and giving herself a Ronette makeover for the music video.

In her 2020 memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey, the singer revealed that growing up, her holiday experiences weren’t actually that merry, and thus partially wrote “All I Want for Christmas Is You” as a way to heal her inner child and honor her “early fantasies of family and friendship.”

There you have it folks. So many of these beloved pieces of art were written as a way to find joy no matter what, which in itself is a Christmas lesson, isn’t it? May your holiday listening be that much more impactful knowing how they came to be in the first place.

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