People shared one thing they learned in therapy and we can all use the collective insights
When my daughter started seeing a therapist for anxiety, I went to several of her sessions. Holy moly. Even though I don't struggle with mental health issues, I got so much out of her sessions just observing and listening. I came to the conclusion that every one of us could benefit from seeing a therapist.
We have regular checkups and basic exams with a regular doctor for our physical health. Doesn't it make sense that we could use a regular checkup for our mental health as well, even if just for maintenance?
I learned about how the brain works and how thoughts and feelings and behaviors play off of one another. I learned about what things we actually have control of and which things we don't. I learned a hundred little things that have helped me process daily living in the increasingly chaotic world we live in. Five stars for therapy. Highly recommend.
Of course, not everyone has easy or affordable access to mental health care (which is a whole other article) so we have to glean what we can, where we can. And thanks to Twitter user @drivingmemadi, we can all glean some therapy insights from a thread she started this summer.
if everyone drops one thing they learned in therapy we can all gain insight from this thread— \ua9c1Madimoiselle\ua9c2 (@\ua9c1Madimoiselle\ua9c2) 1627249841
People shared just one thing they learned from therapy, and the collective wisdom is simply awesome. Check out these gems:
We tend to gravitate toward the familiar, even in people we date, which isn't necessarily a good thing if what's familiar to us is unhealthy.
This really blew up, so I wanted to add that THIS IS NOT PREDETERMINED.\n\nYou obviously CAN choose to date people that don't act like your parents/siblings etc.\n\nBut it is important to ask yourself: Am I dating this person because they make me happy, or because it's comfortable?— my tweet button is broken and I dont know how to f (@my tweet button is broken and I dont know how to f) 1627347309
Someone else will always have it worse, but that doesn't mean your pain or trauma isn't real and valid.
Anger usually stems from a different emotion.
One I heard in therapy that rocked my world was \u201cAnger is sadness\u2019 bodyguard\u201d— Stephanie \ud83c\udf31 (@Stephanie \ud83c\udf31) 1627359095
Be intentional about joy. (But also recognize there's a difference between general unhappiness and clinical depression.)
This is true, but I\u2019d add the following codicil: \n\nSerious depression is a state, not a feeling. \n\nThe things you throw at a bad mood probably won\u2019t dent a depressive state.\n\nWhat does help: Knowing depression is a thing that happens TO you\u2014but it ISN\u2019T you, nor does it OWN you.— C. Martin (@C. Martin) 1628918864
A different perspective on perfectionism...
why does it feel like these words are being screamed at me i-— capricorpse (@capricorpse) 1627398640
Don't judge your past self so harshly.
One might have more experiences, knowledge, and maturity in future, to look at a decision in past to call it right/wrong.\n\nBut what they forget is, they didn't have these in the past, they just chose what they felt right.— Suraj Ajay Dwivedi (@Suraj Ajay Dwivedi) 1627375589
Our negative thoughts were a protection mechanism we needed as children, not as adults.
Ok this is making me tear up, I\u2019m not sure why but thank you for this— ktrap \ud83d\udca1\u2728 (@ktrap \ud83d\udca1\u2728) 1627321418
Other people might not handle your self-improvements well if they are stuck in unhealthy patterns themselves.
Oh my gosh I absolutely feel this in my soul. This last year I\u2019ve gone through so many things along with friends. It\u2019s felt like I couldn\u2019t talk about happy or amazing I felt because they just didn\u2019t. I felt like a dick for ever bringing up my positive experiences.— Linz \u2728\ud83e\udd40 blm (@Linz \u2728\ud83e\udd40 blm) 1627344505
You can't control what others think of you and shouldn't even try.
A former boss who had been through therapy herself told me that other people\u2019s opinion of me is none of my business.— Jennifer S. Hyk \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83c\udff4\ud83d\udc99\ud83c\udf0e (@Jennifer S. Hyk \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83c\udff4\ud83d\udc99\ud83c\udf0e) 1627315741
Other people's actions and reactions are not usually about you anyway.
I always blame myself for the moods and reactions of my loved ones cause I\u2019m always focused on my own problems that I think it\u2019s always my fault but it\u2019s so important to remember that it\u2019s not always about you and your story— Jaya Osten (@Jaya Osten) 1627534127
Observe intrusive thoughts like a spectator.
Right right right.\nYour mind is a machine that makes thoughts. You can inspect those thoughts for quality assurance. But you don't necessarily have to live within the stream of consciousness. Try to objectify your thoughts.— Corn in Stool (@Corn in Stool) 1627254764
Pay attention to how your body is holding your emotions.
I used to be so tense all the time that my body just felt like it ached everywhere. My therapist taught me the importance of being mindful of where I\u2019m tense and how to let go. Progressive Muscle Relaxation has done wonders for me.pic.twitter.com/4RUVXagnIV— Jasm\u00edn . . \u263e (@Jasm\u00edn . . \u263e) 1627356486
Choose to let your trauma make you a better person instead of a worse one.
A few years ago I realized that I was thinking like the second person and it\u2019s taken me years of introspection and work with therapist last to become the first one. I\u2019m so glad someone pointed it out to me so I could fix it and become kind— ( . ) ( . ) (@( . ) ( . )) 1627333953
Name your emotions specifically.
My therapist says "If you can name it, you can tame it."— FRITZ is back at the drawing board \ud83d\udd8b\ufe0f (@FRITZ is back at the drawing board \ud83d\udd8b\ufe0f) 1627407209
Celebrate your successes.
great job, know that they mean that. Just because they only saw you succeed and didn\u2019t see how many times you failed before you won, it doesn\u2019t make that success any less worthy of their praise. You kept going despite the failure and that is also worth celebrating.\u201d— Lex (@Lex) 1627322488
You are not a burden to your loved ones.
I have a similar thing where I don't talk with my friends about my little successes in life bc I worry about bothering them or sounding like I'm bragging but my counselor asked me "Do you feel happy when your friends tell you about their accomplishments?"— Yume (@Yume) 1627412939
Work on making your brain a nice place to be.
The (ex) president of Bryn Mawr once said the point of college is to make your brain a more fun place to spend the rest of your life.— smellsofbikes (@smellsofbikes) 1627528888
It's okay to grieve the loss of relationships that weren't good for you.
Grieving doesn't have to mean you want it back. It doesn't mean you SHOULD go back, either. It just means that something that mattered to you has ceased to be something you can carry forward. Allow yourself to grieve even when you know it was the best outcome.— \ud83d\udc99\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f Little Loki \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83d\udc99 (@\ud83d\udc99\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f Little Loki \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83d\udc99) 1627349433
Boundaries are important, even if people don't like them.
YES! Recently heard, \u201cPeople do not need to agree with your boundary, and probably won\u2019t - if they agreed with you, you wouldn\u2019t need to set and maintain a boundary in the first place.\u201d— \u2728wren\u2728 (@\u2728wren\u2728) 1627406759
You are responsible for your adult self, no matter what happened in your childhood.
Amen. I saw a pattern in my family being handed down from generation to generation. I said, it stops with me. I took responsibility and it did stop with me. I probably made different mistakes w my kids but they are mentally healthy individuals and I'm so proud of them and of me!— Anne #EOISCANON Bensler \ud83c\udff9\ud83d\udc51 (@Anne #EOISCANON Bensler \ud83c\udff9\ud83d\udc51) 1627413485
Watch out for thought traps.
Ooh, are you able to elaborate on these "thought traps"? I've been experiencing extreme anxiety & this could prove to be wildly helpful. No worries if you can't, that's totally cool!— Megan March (@Megan March) 1627266128
You don't have to accept what your brain automatically says. Question it. Challenge unhelpful thoughts.
For you/anyone (& me!) who finds themselves stuck inside painful thoughts, I google searched "cognitive distortions" and grabbed this infographic. What I do is catastrophize, always expect the worst possible outcome. We have to learn to cross-examine these thoughts like a lawyer.pic.twitter.com/RXQlYzaHaq— \ud83e\uddc2Salted Caramel Doublespeak\ud83c\udf6f (@\ud83e\uddc2Salted Caramel Doublespeak\ud83c\udf6f) 1627479479
So many helpful mental and emotional health tips. Highly recommend every human being go to therapy if they are able. We all have things we might need help processing, and the world would be a whole lot better place if everyone dealt with their pain, trauma, worries, etc. in a healthy way.
Thanks for getting the ball rolling, Twitterland.
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