+
upworthy

child development

Family

Mom films her 10-month-old helping with chores to show parents that babies 'are capable'

"It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!”

Representative image from Canva

Having kids help in chores can really help them out later in life, according to experts.

It’s part of a parent’s job to help kids enjoy being kids while they can. At the same time, it’s extremely beneficial to teach them certain “adult” tasks while they’re still young. This can help them see everything from cleaning to budgeting as a fun, life-affirming activity, rather than a mandatory chore. Which research shows can, in turn, set them up for way more happiness and success once they do reach adulthood.

And that’s why mom and child development expert Sophie Zee is hosting a video of her ten-month-old helping with household chores like laundry and loading the dishwasher. It’s her way of reminding other parents just how capable their young children are.

In the video’s text overlay on her Zee wrote: “POV: you're 10-months-old but your mom is trained in child development, so you already know about basic chores and associate them with playtime and fun, and you enjoy helping out and doing them.”

As we see her toddler’s little hands splashing water in a strainer and pressing buttons on the washing machine, it’s clear that he is just a supervised participant of each chore, getting a visceral experience of it all. At one point he even gets a little creative with a certain task—using a fork to open the dishwasher’s soap dispenser. Problem-solving skills: unlocked!

“Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!” Zee's video caption read.

@schoolpsych.mom Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it! #momsoftiktok #parentingtips #babylife #newmomtips #toddlermom ♬ Feel Good - Tundra Beats

Down in the comments, several other parents noted having the same positive experience with their old young kids.

One mom wrote, “My 9 month old loves watching/helping me clean especially when I load/unload the dishwasher! I love making the daily tasks around the house more fun for the two of us.”

Another wrote, “I did this with my 6 adult kiddies. They were helping from the time they were just a few weeks old.”

Others simply gave kudos to Zee for setting her child up for success.

“ECD teacher here too. Best to train them from young 🥰 love it,” one view wrote.

In an interview with Newsweek, Zee explained that she filmed her son doing chores to highlight "their intrinsic motivation to engage and feel part of the family unit,” which may go otherwise underutilized.

"Parents may not realize that children learn extensively by observing and imitating adults. They naturally want to mimic our actions, presenting a perfect opportunity to expose them to life's responsibilities, including self-care and household tasks," she said.

"Sometimes my 10-month-old son engages in various daily tasks and chores around our home. I made that video to demonstrate how even young children, like babies, are capable of participating in everyday activities.”

Still, she noted that forcing kids to participate is “counterproductive,” and suggested that parents instead gently invite them to “join in, observe, and gradually participate.” She also reiterated that while having them join in might make things a little messier at first, the long term effects are well worth it.

"This approach is more beneficial than expecting children to play independently or watch television while parents rush through tasks. Ultimately, embracing this inclusive approach benefits the entire family, offering immediate rewards and long-term positive habits for children's development."

For more helpful child development content, including tips on how to get young ones to participate in chores, follow Zee on TikTok.

Family

Here are 5 things a child therapist says he doesn't do while playing with his kids

Parents often do one of these things to try to make play educational, and it may surprise you.

Five things a child therapist doesn't do while playing with his kids

Being a parent is both oddly unique and similar for all who embark on that life journey. You're in a state of constant worry that you're messing up in one way or another, while simultaneously knowing that you're doing your best to raise good humans. Not everyone can be an expert in child development, and that doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong.

But when you've got the inside scoop from someone who does have a deep understanding of child development, you pay attention. A child therapist has shared a list of things that he never does while playing with his children. Even if you have this insider knowledge, a refresher like this one can be helpful.

Joshua Terhune is a child therapist and father of two who keeps his list of "don'ts" in mind when engaging in child-led play with his children. Here are five things he says he avoids while playing:


1. Asking questions while playing with his kids

Terhune explains that asking questions brings children out of the moment and forces them to perform instead of play organically.

2. Commanding or demanding a behavior change

The therapist explains that commanding or demanding a change in behaviors can raise the tension between child and parent. Instead, he attempts to ignore or redirect unwanted behaviors from his children.

3. Criticizing or judging their play

This involves not commenting on how much he likes a drawing or what they've built and focusing instead on the process they've used. Terhune says praising something as good means that you also have the power to say something is bad, which could deter the child from doing things for their own enjoyment instead focusing on what will make the parent happy.

4. Using sarcasm or mockery

He explains how using sarcasm or teasing can hurt children's feelings and "stifle their spirit." Terhune explains, "they have very, very, very little time when they feel in control," so play is where they're in charge and can feel a sense of control over their lives.

5. Allowing distractions to enter play

Terhune says he uses child-led playtime for mutual enjoyment of time together without the distractions of screens. The father of two says that having a screen present can break the immersion in play, so he avoids it as much as possible.

You can get even more detail from his interview below with Good Morning America:

ponce_photography/Canva

The "egg crack challenge" on TikTok is more harmful than it is funny.

There are plenty of viral videos involving children that are perfectly harmless. Kids are naturally hilarious, and it's not unusual for parents to capture their wee ones saying or doing something adorably funny.

At Upworthy, we often share cute viral kid videos, like the Italian preschooler who gesticulates like an old Sicilian grampa or the 4-year-old snowboarder in a dinosaur suit or the 3-year-old with incredible moves dancing alongside choreographed dancers. These are kiddos just doing what they do—genuine, wholesome kid moments caught on video.

Sometimes we share viral kid videos that are clearly set up, often with some kind of a positive parenting lesson included. But such videos are a far cry from a viral TikTok trend that involves parents cracking eggs on their children's heads and recording their reactions.


The "egg crack challenge" involves parents cooking with their little ones—almost always a fun activity for kids—but when it comes time to break open an egg, the parent unexpectedly cracks it on the child's head instead of the side of the bowl. The child's stunned/confused/nervous reactions sometimes result in crying, sometimes laughter, and the unpredictable nature of it is what seems to be entertaining people.

But it's not a harmless "prank"—not when it's done to a small child who doesn't understand what's happening.

I'm not going to share any of the videos here because the whole point is to rack up views and I don't want to contribute to the problem. But let's look at this trend from the perspective of a little kid for a moment. You're just learning about the world, and realizing it can be a scary and unpredictable place sometimes. Your place of safety and security is your home with your parents who provide safety and protection. You're not sure what you can rely on out there, but your parents are your source of stability and security.

You've observed your parents cooking, so you kind of know what to expect. You use a cup to measure. You use a spoon to stir. You crack and open eggs before they go into the bowl.

You've never seen someone crack an egg on someone's head. You've been taught that hitting someone, especially on the head, with or without an object is wrong. How do you make sense of your parent suddenly turning and hitting you on the head with an egg in the middle of cooking?

Children don't process things the way adults do, but even most adults would immediately be like "WTF?!" if someone suddenly used their head for an egg-cracking surface. For a young child, it's not just a WTF moment—it's a message: "The thing I thought was predictable actually isn't. The person I thought was reliable actually isn't. The rules I was taught don't always apply."

It's foundational-level confusing and could potentially mess with a child's sense of trust. All for some internet likes.

Dan Wuori, Ph.D., Senior Director of Early Learning at the Hunt Institute, shared some thoughts on this and other potentially damaging parent "challenges," such as inviting a kindergartener to meet their teacher virtually and having a scary-looking person on the screen.

"The years of early childhood are a time during which trust and attachment are (ideally) formed," Wuori wrote on X (formerly known as Twitter). "With love, attention, and responsive caregiving, young children learn that their world is safe. They develop self-worth and self-esteem. These are prerequisites to both learning and healthy development. But the key to developing trust is consistency."

"And the behaviors in these videos—even if rare and anomalous—serve only to undermine healthy attachment between parent and child," he added. "They provide children with data points that suggest their parents can be unexpectedly and arbitrarily cruel. They are a violation of hard-earned trust.

"Some will argue that these are just jokes in good fun. They aren’t. They are the deliberate infliction of trauma, however brief, for the amusement of strangers. It should go without saying that this isn’t good for children."

Pediatric occupational therapist Amanda Mathers shared a TikTok of her own explaining why the trend isn't a good idea from a child development standpoint.

"You are teaching them that hitting someone in the head, hard, with an object, is acceptable and funny," she said.

@yourpediatricot

I know as parents you never want to harm your child. This post is meant to educate, for wny parwnts who were wanting to try this, or tor parents who already did this rrend and fan go back wnd have a conversation with their child about what happened. ••• Toddlers brains at this age don’t yet fully comprehend jokes like this and although they may laugh… their brain is thinking “WHAT THE HECK?!” ••• Skip this trend parents, it’ll save you in the long run 🤍 #eggcrackchallenge #eggcrackprank #eggcrackreaction #emotionalintelligence #raisingconfidentchildren #raisingkids #donttrythisathome #pediatricot

She even went so far as to call it bullying, which is a solid point when you consider that some of these videos include children crying in embarrassment, pain or confusion and their parent laughing in their faces. Some might think they're teaching kids about joking around and being silly, but this isn't a healthy way to teach that. It's cruel.

Parents in these videos may not realize how the thing they see as fun might be harmful, which is why it's good to try to see it from a child's perspective. But a good rule to follow in general is not to purposefully create an emotional reaction in a child as a way to go viral on social media. Stick to capturing kids just being their normal, adorable, hilarious selves—there's plenty of entertainment in that.

Canva

It's so much more than fun.

True
Nike's Made to Play

If you've ever watched kids on a playground running around and laughing, you might think they’re just having a great time.

It's hard to imagine that something so fun could help them succeed at the more serious life stuff. But that is, in fact, exactly what playtime is doing.

Research has actually proven time and time again that regular play is integral to kids' success in school, social situations, and, eventually, the careers that they choose to pursue.


So the next time you see kids giggling while they hang on jungle gyms or dig around in a sandbox, you might not want to just write it off as silliness — they're actually learning the fundamentals of adult behavior.

Here are 21 reasons you should encourage the kids in your life to play more all year long.

1. Kids aren't made to sit still. They're made to play.

Human kids are born with a natural desire to play, and it helps them learn important skills. That said, today's kids are way less active than their parents and generations were before them. However, if you give the kids in your life the opportunity to play, you're doing your part to help reverse this unhealthy trend.

2. Playing helps kids stay active, and active kids do better in school.

Active kids tend to have increased concentration, go to school more regularly, and are usually better behaved once they get there. In fact, studies suggest that they’re noticeably more attentive and less distracted right after an active play session.

So in a way, encouraging play is just as useful as paying extra for a tutor, if not more so.

3. They’re also more well-adjusted overall.

Kids who play regularly tend to have healthier eating habits and more confidence than inactive kids because they’re running on endorphins that boost mood and improve behavior.

Imagine, just by letting them go hog wild outside once a day, you might have the most well-adjusted kids on the block!

team, collaboration, education, investing in health

A group of children pulling a rope in a game of tug-o-war.

Photo by Anna Samoylova on Unsplash

4. And play can give them a major mood boost.

Research suggests that being more physically active can improve a kid’s self-esteem, mood, and social interactions all at once. If your kid mopes around the house, complaining that they have nothing to do, why not seize the opportunity and send them outside?

5. Play encourages healthy brain development, especially in younger kids.

You know how little kids seem to create fantastical worlds every time they play? All that creative thinking is helping them expand their imaginations in a super productive way. It's like cognitive strength training — not only are they building up their dexterity and physical strength, but by interacting with other kids in this way, they're also establishing emotional strength.

6. And that emotional strength pays off down the line.

Did you know that emotionally intelligent people tend to be more successful? According to analysis by Egon Zehnder International, it’s one of the most common attributes of thriving senior executives. This is where that starts.

7. Meanwhile, not playing could actually shorten kids’ lives.

According to the World Health Organization, physical inactivity is the fourth-leading risk factor for death worldwide. However, so far, that stat doesn't seem to be scaring people enough to get kids moving. Hopefully this list will encourage some parents to start changing that!

8. The sitting epidemic is very real, especially in our country.

In America alone, physical activity in kids between the ages of 9 and 15 has dropped by 75%. What better reason is there to make use of the longest day of the year?

sitting, physical activity, play, habits, risks

Kids have replaced physical activity with sedentary playing.

Photo from Pixabay

9. But American kids aren’t the only ones who are affected by inactivity.

According to the World Health Organization, 80% of 11- to 17-year-olds around the world fail to meet the minimum requirements of physical activity: 60 minutes a day. If the trend continues, your kids could live five years less than you.

10. And kids get a little less active every year.

Children are the most active at age 6, and then they tend to start slowing down. By the time they're 19, many kids are as sedentary as 60-year-olds, according to The Washington Post.

While this sounds scary, a little extra playtime now can reverse this trend.

11. That said, kids who start out active tend to stay active.

It’s pretty simple — starting such a habit at a young age is proven to help kids carry that habit with them into adulthood. And if they're active adults, odds are they'll encourage their kids to be active too — and just like that, you've started an extremely healthy chain reaction.

12. Child-driven play is also where kids learn skills they'll need as adults.

One of the biggest questions asked in job interviews is if you work well with others. That's not a skill you acquire in high school or college — it starts much earlier, on the playground. When left to their own devices, children develop the confidence they need to take control and make decisions. They also learn how to share, negotiate, and resolve conflicts in a diplomatic way.

13. Boys are twice as active as girls.

In fact, by the age of 14, girls drop out of team sports twice as often. Reasons for this include everything from a lack of athletic opportunities to social stigmas against sporty girls.

That’s why it’s so important to get girls moving early — so they’ll be more inclined to stay in the game down the road.

girls, depression, success, motivation

A young girl swings on the monkey bars.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

14. But when girls do stay active, it makes a huge difference.

Those who keep playing usually get giant doses of confidence and coping and decision-making skills. Simultaneously, risks of depression, stress, and other dangerous behaviors like eating disorders tend to drop off.

15. Plus, active girls tend to become successful women.

A 2015 study of 400 female C-suite executives found that over half of them played sports at a university level. What's more, Fortune found that over 80% of female Fortune500 executives played a competitive sport at some time in their lives.

Can you see these powerhouses as little tikes on the blacktop during recess? They must've given every boy a run for their money.

16. That’s why it’s so important for them to have motivators they can look up to.

Research suggests that when girls have positive female role models in their lives, it sets them up for a better future. Unfortunately, in 2017 only 28% of youth coaches were female. If more women can be that role model for their kids, nieces, or kids in their neighborhood, they’ll be making a major impact on them.

17. Regardless of gender, though, when it comes to test scores, active kids set the curve.

When regular play is part of a child's life, it can help them stay attentive and put focused energy into their studies. And there are stats to prove it. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), students who are regularly active tend to have higher grade point averages and lower high school dropout rates. In fact, active kids have been shown to score up to 40% higher on tests than inactive kids.

18. Regular activity also gives your kid a better chance at a more successful career.

No matter what career path your 8-year-old chooses in the future, playing everyday now could give them the boost they need to land the job of their dreams. In fact, studies suggest physically active kids are 15% more likely to go to college and earn an average of 7-8% more money than an inactive kid.

bonding, healthy parenting, play, learning

A father at play with his daughter.

Photo by lauren lulu taylor on Unsplash

19. What’s more, play is a great way for parents and kids to bond.

Kids learn games from their parents, and vice versa, which always makes for an incredibly adorable good time.

And, since school recess has been cut back, encouraging play is largely up to parents these days. Over the past two decades, schools across the country have cut down recess significantly — in some cases, entirely.

The more parents can motivate their kids to get moving outside of school, the more they'll counteract this unfortunate rollback.

20. But if parents get in the way of kid play too much, it can offset its benefits.

If you dictate how they should play, you might actually hinder all the positive effects playtime can have. Giving up that control might be hard, but it can also be a game changer in kids' development.

21. Play is so important that it is recognized by the United Nations as a fundamental human right.

Because the name suggests it's not productive time spent, it's easy to let playtime become a privilege or reward. But regular active play could be the difference between a happy, healthy, successful adult and one who struggles to get through the day.

If a prestigious, international organization like the U.N. understands that and puts its importance on par with food and shelter, it's time for parents and schools everywhere to pick up the play baton and run with it — and encourage their kids to do the same every day.

This article originally appeared on 06.21.18