Humor can help you bond with your child while also boosting their growing brain
Being a parent is tough. If you are one, you probably read many articles, watched a lot of videos, or asked other parents for advice regarding structure, discipline, consistency, and other qualities that go into raising a child. But researchers found something equally as important as all of those parental virtues: humor.
Researchers and psychologists from the Public Library of Science and the Penn State College of Medicine found that humor played a huge role in successful parenting in a recent study. In a survey of 312 parents or would-be parents, 55% reported that humor was a significant part of their childhood from their parents and that 72% found humor to be an effective parenting tool. Out of those surveyed, the vast majority who reported having a strong bond with their parents as kids and now as adults also had humor as a part of their upbringing.
Good parenting is a mix of structure, discipline, boundaries, and goofiness.Photo credit: Canva
So how does that work? You’d probably want a fun relationship with your child but at the same time not appear to be a joke to them either. If your young kid has to approach you with a problem, you don’t want them to be afraid that you won’t take them seriously. You also don’t want them to continue bad behavior because they think it’s funny and ignore you when you tell them to stop.
Well, humor on its own won’t help parents, but using it correctively and implementing it constructively, such as when tensions are high, can benefit both you and your kid.
“While parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, stressful situations happen a lot when parenting,” said Lucy Emery, one of the authors of the study. “Humor can help diffuse that tension and hierarchy and help both parties feel better about a stressful situation.”
Laughter can help ease tension and build trust between you and your kid.Photo credit: Canva
So in terms of applying humor into your parenting style, it’s an effective to use it to diffuse tense situations (like when a child’s having a tantrum or when they feel bad after being corrected or disciplined), model creative problem solving to your children, and just plain experience shared joy between you and your kid.
Many professionals in pediatrics and educators also say that humor not only promotes stronger bonds between parents and their children, but also helps child development. According to Children’s Minnesota Hospital among other experts, instilling a good sense of humor in a child helps them see situations in more perspectives such as when a certain situation could be funny or could be dangerous. Humor also allows them to laugh at themselves when they make mistakes as opposed to being angry or disappointed that they messed up. On top of that, frequent laughter is just healthier as it reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and improves digestion on top of just making life in general more fun.
Frequent laughter improves a child's health and their mind overall.Photo credit: Canva
So if you’re a new parent and feeling stressed, take a moment. Instead of being upset that your son spilled their milk on the floor for the fifth time today, laugh at how ridiculous that is and tell a funny story about how clumsy you used to be as you both clean it up. If you and your kid had a tense fight, tell them a joke to let them know everything is okay between you two. And overall, just laugh with your kid. It’s good for them and it’s good for you, too.
A family that laughs together, bonds together.Photo credit: Canva
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
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Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."