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People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful

Here are 19 of the best responses.

man and woman in counseling behind comment
via Pexels

Work at it every single day, folks.


The best advice isn’t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive at the time, but it eventually sinks in. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, “Buy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.” Now, that doesn’t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.

Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept, but as a practice it can be pretty darn hard day in and day out. Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that “sounded absurd” but was actually helpful.

The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.

A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.

Here are some of the best responses to the question, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”

1.

"Dad said 'Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.'” — semantician

2. 

"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so[me] funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" — drizzyjdracco

3. 

"The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing. Source: married 15 years." — LemonFizzy0000

4. 

"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." — t480

5. 

"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." — wordserious

6. 

"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." — bobbobbobbobbob123

7. 


"Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."— nopants_ranchdance

8. 

"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." — There-is-No-beyond

9. 


"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." — drewkungfu

10. 

"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." — BVolatte

11. 

"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." — Purple12Inchruler

12. 


"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family." — crazypersn

13. 

"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"— MgoBlue702

14. 

"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." — Mikeydeeluxe

15. 

"Don’t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." — Toadie9622

16. 

"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." — agaribay1010

17. 

"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." — sorellk

18. 

"Love isn’t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to." — sirplaind

19. 


"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard." — KrssCom


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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15 years ago, a Russian gymnast was interrupted by her 2-year-old daughter. It became a historic performance.

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.

As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

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Elderly rescue dog can't stop putting random items in his bed, keeping his family entertained

"He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd
Photo credit: Canva

A dog lies in a bed.

Not all dogs are created equal. Some don't get the best start in life and end up in situations where they need rescuing. That was the case for an elderly golden retriever named Duke, who had been returned to a rescue so many times that he was nearly labeled unadoptable. His "bad dog" reputation wasn't due to aggression or destructive behavior. Instead, some might say Duke simply has sticky paws.

The golden retriever is something of a canine kleptomaniac, constantly stealing objects from around the house only to put them in his dog bed. He's not eating them, burying them, or even playing with them. Duke is a collector of sorts, a trait his previous owners couldn't get used to. But his current owner, Cathy Hoyt, understands the pup's strange behavior and rolls with it.

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A lazy afternoon nap on the couch.Photo credit: Canva

According to Hoyt, the sweet rescue originally came from a home with domestic violence, which likely left Duke with lasting trauma. Dogs, like humans, can be affected by trauma in ways that surface through behaviors others may find confusing. While some dogs become skittish, aggressive, or have accidents when they are nervous, others engage in resource guarding, as Duke does. Although resource guarding typically involves food, the behavior this elderly golden retriever displays is still classified as such.

Duke doesn't steal sandwiches or other edible items. Instead, the pooch absconds with household objects that make little logical sense for a dog to want.

"Duke has very severe resource guarding," Hoyt tells GeoBeats. "Most dogs have it with food, but Duke does not have it with food. He has it with the items he steals. Household items."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A happy golden retriever relaxing indoors. 🐕❤️Photo credit: Canva

In clips shown in a video by GeoBeats, Duke can be seen trotting away with his dad's pants before the footage cuts to him carrying something else. Hoyt explains:

"He steals electronics, my Kindle, my phone, laptops. He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot. He took creamer, a sugar bowl. Just the oddest items. He just places them on his bed. He guards them. We've spoken to professionals about this, but because of his age, it's very difficult to reverse."

There isn't much Duke's new parents can do to reverse a behavior that has likely been with him for most of his life. Thankfully, the Hoyts understand his condition and meet him with patience. They don't punish him for snagging things that aren't his, nor do they try to force him to give the items up. Instead, Hoyt says they simply wait until Duke is ready to allow them to retrieve the item from his bed.

"So we give him space. He will just have them around him, especially the household items. He just takes such comfort in them. It's really remarkable," Hoyt shares.

Hoyt says that while some people have suggested Duke's item collecting could be a sign of canine dementia, she insists his behavior is intentional. Duke isn't confused. Hoyt believes that after leaving behind so many people and belongings throughout his life, he has developed what she calls a "hoarding personality." By collecting items around the house, even ones that make no sense to anyone else, Duke creates a sense of safety and security for himself.

"We'll never really know, but he's happy doing it, so we let him do it," Hoyt exclaims.

People who've watched the video can't get enough of Duke's bizarrely sweet behavior.

One person gushes, "Poor Duke. Sweet boy. He's an emotional hoarder. Poor guy. I'm so grateful he's found acceptance and safety with you. Thank you for not allowing him to be abandoned once again!"

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd Gentle comfort for a sleepy golden retriever.Photo credit: Canva

Someone else shares, "He is seeking stability. These things represent you and he's trying to keep you. Poor old fella. So happy you are kind. Let him have this. Very loving."

One woman points out Hoyt's calming voice, writing, "I've seen a few videos of this dog. I love how mom speaks to him with such a kind, soft voice all the time even when he's taking something she really doesn't want him to have. Her tone of voice never communicates anger…perhaps bewilderment at times but never anger. Great mom!"

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Gen Xers and Millennials share the 'distinct smells' from the '90s that defined the decade

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights."

90s smells, scents of the 90s, bath and body works 90s, cucumber melon, runts, runts candy
Images via Reddit/Dove04

Gen Xers and Millennials describe what the '90s smelled like, from Bath & Body Works' Cucumber Melon to banana-flavored Runts.

The '90s were a decade like no other. With TV psychics, parachutes in gym class, and iconic TV shows binged during sick days, the era was packed with uniquely memorable moments that Generation X and Millennials still feel nostalgic about today.

Beyond the epic CDs and cartoons, the '90s were also defined by specific scents. Gen Xers and Millennials on Reddit recently discussed the nostalgic smells of the decade—from specific foods like banana-flavored Runts to the distinct scent of roller-rink carpet and classic Bath & Body Works fragrances. Here's what they had to say:

@jennaabarclay

‘90s bath & body works scents WITH the ‘90s label 🥹 the nostalgia hit so hard and I’m so happy #90s #bathandbodyworks

"Cigarettes and this [roller rink] carpet….Ahhhhh memories." - Battlerapschef

"And teen spirit." - UbermachoGuy

"5 year old Runts in the quarter vending machine. Banana." - 9829eisB09E83C

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights." - Heatherjjjjjjjj

"This nasty [Glad Country Garden] potpourri spray. I can hear the very specific sound that spray made with its thick *ss pressed button. CHSHHHHH." - abby-rose, Constant-Net-4652, D4FF00

"[Victoria's Secret] Love Spell." - a_solid_6

" McDonald's happy meal toys had a certain smell that I can remember to this day. Probably poison." - ogmoss

"CK one everywhere." - snn1326j

"Clove cigarettes and espresso. Especially for goths." - Lost_Balloon_, Vesper2000

"Let's not forget Drakkar Noir." - Technical-Donut-7354

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LA Looks hair gel." - FarAd1429

"Electronics. The smell of cathode ray monitors and TVs, Blockbuster VHS tape boxes, the inside of Nintendo cartridges when you blew the dust out, etc." - oceanicwhitetip

"Fresh vinyl from blowup furniture." - Asterclad

"Herbal Essence." - barcham22

"The 90's had a number of unique smells. Especially if you were a kid. Lots of toys had these weird off gassing smells, like the creepy crawlers set. Sort of a sweet plastic smell. We also had the blessing of grandparents old Christmas decorations that smelled different from the stuff manufactured overseas today. The things our grandparents stored were probably slightly toxic but had a very, very nostalgic energy to them. You could almost smell the past." - TrillDough

"Like dew evaporating off the pavement." - zekerthedog

"Nautica, Cool Water, Hugo Boss, Curve and Polo Sport." - GurrenLagann214

"Apple shampoo, mall food courts, and movie theater popcorn." - thatmattschultz

@tara_town

The smells of our childhood 🥰 #90s #2000s #millennial #nostalgia

"Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers or Gap Grass." - Apprehensive-Stay196

"The smell from traffic…inescapable. Before catalytic converters were regulated you could smell transportation on you. Go stand in a busy covered parking garage and you will get a hint of what the cities smelled like." - h1storyguy

"LEMON PLEDGE!!!!!" - BlackDynamite58990

"I remember many girls almost choking us with their vanilla perfume. God it was sickening." - fettoter84

"Little incense candles inside incense warmers. Bong hits filtered thru a shampoo bottle stuffed with dryer sheets. Ralph Lauren Polo. JOOP! Any cologne/perfume sample from a magazine. Marlboro Lights. Empty Busch Light cans. And the sweet sweet smell of slacking..." - Live_Past_8978

"The inside spine of a plastic VHS tape cover." - canoe4you

"Wet JNCO's and wet barefoot sandals with a mix of Polo or Pear Berry Splash and cigarette smoke." - xxMalVeauXxx

"Fruitopia." - No_Tart686

"Go into a old school bowling alley and that's exactly what 90's smelled like." - ItsBal707

"And Extra chewing gum." - Ill-Emu-1121

"Sbarro pizza in a mall. That weird smell of water from a hose in the heat. Sunblock. The smell of a new Gameboy game." - Eris_Balm

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New study reveals dogs are smarter than originally thought, anticipating unsaid commands

"They are really tuned in to our communication and are prepared to look to us for information."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups
Photo credit: Canva

A dog and their owner in a sunny field.

Most dog owners think their dog is the best, smartest dog to ever walk the planet. Of course, they're all correct because it's obviously a tie between every dog that has ever existed. But a new study from Duke's Canine Cognition Lab confirms that dogs are actually a lot smarter than humans initially gave them credit for.

The study spanned five years as PhD student, Hannah Salomons and the rest of the Duke team partnered with a national service dog organization, Canine Companions. They were joined by other organizations to assess the cognitive abilities of puppies from eight weeks to 20 weeks of age. The puppies were tested every two weeks until they hit the age threshold of 20 weeks.

All 100 puppies involved in the study were golden retrievers and golden retriever mixes. The team of scientists set out to discover how dog intelligence was developed. They wanted to know whether abilities were developed in different chunks or if they developed together as general intelligence. The results were fascinating to the team. Salomons tells Duke Today, “There hasn't really been a study of this size at this fine scale of detail done on puppy cognitive development before. It was a big undertaking."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Training time: Puppies learning tricks with their trainer.Photo credit: Canva

What they found is that dogs have an ability to "read minds"—or anticipate what a command will be. This cooperative communication skill develops remarkably early, much earlier than anticipated by those completing the study. Duke Today writes, "Skills such as understanding simple human gestures emerged early, alongside basic skills like working memory." Turns out that this communication skill is unique to dog puppies. Salomons explains to the school's digital outlet that wolf puppies do not display this level of understanding of cooperative communication with humans at such a young age.

"Molly is exceptionally intelligent. She picks up on everything, and she doesn't forget," Jamie Tan tells WBZ News Boston, an affiliate of CBS, about her one-year-old rescue dog. "She's very emotionally intelligent."

In the news segment, they show how the puppies participated in the study, explaining that the dogs had to find treats with only non-verbal cues.

One puppy fell asleep on the job, still inside the clear tube with a treat right in front of his nose. Being a puppy is hard work, especially when they are essentially expected to read minds to find a piece of kibble.

Salomons explains to WBZ News Boston, "They are really tuned in to our communication, and they are prepared to look to us for information. We tested how they look to humans and make eye contact to maybe make a connection or ask for help."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Man and dog share a joyful moment in the park.Photo credit: Canva

According to the scientists who conducted the study, there's no need to do anything extra to apply this new information. The puppies in the study that were exposed to hundreds of students and staff on any given day at Duke University displayed the same level of socialization skills as a puppy raised within a family unit.

"You're enough for your dog, and giving them a nice, loving home is going to help them develop really well, and [that] your dog is looking to you for information," Salomons shares with the news outlet.

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You can't import it or cook it. Why a traditional Scottish dish is banned in America

Is it too much for Americans to handle?

haggis, beans, bacon, english food, scottish food, mushrooms
via Jeremy Keith/Flickr

A plate of tasty food from the United Kingdom.

In the 1993 cult comedy So I Married an Axe Murderer, actor Mike Myers takes a big shot at Scottish cuisine: "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Obviously, that's an exaggeration. There are many wonderful Scottish treats that Americans love.

Every time you eat a tasty, buttery shortbread cookie, you can thank Scotland. The roast beef and gravy meal many people savor on Sunday nights also traces its roots to Scottish culinary tradition, as does oatmeal, once a humble peasant food that has since become a wellness staple.

What is haggis?

However, Myers may be onto something when it comes to haggis, a traditional Scottish dish made from lamb lung, sheep's heart, liver, suet, minced onion, stock, and spices. While Americans enjoy lamb from time to time, the heart and lungs tend to fall outside our culinary comfort zone. And to take things up a notch, the dish is traditionally cooked inside a sheep's stomach. Talk about using the entire animal.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Americans who have tasted it have compared it favorably to meatloaf and less favorably to "creamy oatmeal and meatloaf."

Why is haggis banned in the U.S.?

To take the dare analogy a step further, in 1971 the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) banned haggis from being imported into the U.S. because it is illegal to eat sheep lung, or the lungs of any livestock. During slaughter, fluids from other parts of the body, including stomach contents, can collect in the lungs, creating a potentially toxic environment. Additionally, livestock lungs tend to contain higher levels of environmental toxins and microorganisms than other organs.

haggis, big haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food A large haggis.via Mr. F/Flickr

As if the 1971 ban weren't enough, in 1989 the USDA banned the import of United Kingdom sheep meat due to concerns about a neurodegenerative disease in livestock.

The haggis ban must be especially hard for people of Scottish heritage on Burns Night, which takes place every year on January 25. Haggis is the evening's official dish, as it was a favorite of the poet Robert Burns, who is celebrated that night. He even penned an ode to the dish in "Address to a Haggis." Here's an excerpt:

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,

Gie her a Haggis!


haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food, haggis and gravy A plate of haggis and gravy.via Umami/Flickr

Is haggis ready for a comeback?

For Americans hoping to enjoy haggis on Burns Night in 2027, there's a chance the delicacy could finally be on the menu. In 2021, then-President Joe Biden struck a deal with then–U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson that reopened the door for sheep meat imports to the U.S. Meanwhile, Scotland's largest haggis producer, Macsween of Edinburgh, has been working on a U.S.-friendly version of haggis that includes everything except the lamb lung.

Whether you're brave enough to chow down on haggis or prefer to stick with shortbread cookies, the dish serves as a reminder of a time when people used every part of the animal to sustain themselves and their families. But its ban raises one lingering question. If haggis is considered too dangerous to import into the U.S., why hasn't it posed any real danger to the people of Scotland?

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