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Seth Rogen on stage during the opening night of Collision 2019 at Enercare Center in Toronto, Canada.

Breaking news: There's a big double standard in Hollywood. Childless women in the public eye are often plagued by the question: “So, why don’t you have any children?” It’s a deeply personal question that cuts right to the bone, and there can be many answers. But, if the woman doesn’t want children and says so publicly, she is bound to face some judgment.

"[I don't] like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women—that you've failed yourself as a female because you haven't procreated. I don't think it's fair," Jennifer Aniston told Allure. "You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn't mean you aren't mothering—dogs, friends, friends' children."

On the Monday, March 6 episode of “The Diary Of A CEO” podcast, host Steven Bartlett asked actor Seth Rogen why he’s childless, and it was a rare moment where a man in the public eye was challenged on the topic. Rogen gave a thoughtful explanation for his and Lauren Miller’s decision to be child-free.

Rogen and Miller were married in 2011.

seth rogen, seth rogen kids, set rogen comicon, set rogen wife, seth rogen family, actors Seth Rogen speaking at the 2016 San Diego Comic Con International, for "Preacher", at the San Diego Convention Center in San Diego, California.via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

“There's a whole huge thing I'm not doing, which is raising children,” Rogen told Bartlett. The host attempted to play devil’s advocate and asked Rogen if he considered whether having children might have made him and his wife “happier.”

“I don't think it would,” Rogen responded.

Then, as if anticipating the question, the “Pineapple Express” star upended one of the arguments that people who have children often make: that people who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like.

“I've been around obviously a lot of children; I'm not ignorant to what it’s like…Everyone I know has kids. I'm 40, you know? I know,” Rogen said. “Some of my friends have had kids for decades. Some people want kids, some people don't want kids.” He added that many people seem to have kids without considering the issue.

“I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I've seen, honestly,” he said. “You just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids—it’s what happens.” Rogen and his wife have only grown stronger in their decision and they believe that it has helped their relationship.

“Now, more than anything, the conversation is like, ‘Honestly, thank God we don’t have children,’” he continued. “We get to do whatever we want. We are in the prime of our lives. We are smarter than we've ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another that we've never been able to live before. And we can just do that, and we don't have to raise a child—which the world does not need right now,” Rogen concluded.

lauren miller, seth rogen, lauren miller husband, seth rogen wife, childfree, golden globes Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller at the 69th Annual Gold Gen Globes Awards.via JDeeringDavis/Wikimedia Commons

Rogen received a lot of pushback for his comments, and two years later, in an interview with Esquire, he addressed the criticism and doubled down on his decision. “People really had strong takes on it, being like, ‘F**k this f**king guy,'" he said. “Well, if you hate me that much, why do you want more of me?” He also addressed those who asked, "Who's going to care for you when you get older?"

“Is that why you’re having kids? Because I have two things to say: One, that’s very selfish to create a human so someone can take care of you. And two, just because you have a kid, I hate to break it to you, that doesn’t mean they’re going to do that,” he said.

Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to have children, and no one has the right to judge them. Rogen and Miller have thought their decision through and should be applauded for living how they see fit. It’s cool to see Rogen with such a thoughtful opinion on the matter. It’d be even cooler if celebrities never had to discuss the topic in the first place.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Internet

10 corporate secrets to moving up quickly in your career—while others don’t

“Knowing how to play the game is an extremely valuable skill.”

Why do some people shoot up to manager positions while others stay behind?

Following the smashing television sensation, Succession, and later, Industry, it’s no surprise that everyone is clamoring for their way up the corporate ladder. However, real life is nothing like the glossy—albeit, depressing—floors of Waystar Royco; in the real world there are evil bosses, annoying coworkers, and pesky KPIs that need to be dealt with, leaving many workers wondering, “Is this really what I signed up for?”

That’s at the heart of this question posted to r/careerguidance on Reddit, anyway. User @Ok-Living5146 asked, “What is the secret to some people moving up fast in their careers while others don’t?”

They added some context, writing, “I’ve been in the same ‘level’ of job for years, and it has been frustrating watching people with less experience or less education soar up into these big roles. I’ll often see Directors who have less education or years in the field than I do, or people who randomly shoot up into manager positions or even higher. What exactly is the secret?”

Reddit, as it frequently does, responded in droves. We’ve compiled 10 of the best advice nuggets, below.


team, corporate, business, meeting, skills How much does "being good and looking tall" matter in a corporate setting?Photo credit: Canva

“Charisma, communication skills…”

For @fortyeightD, success in a corporate context looks an awful like a grocery shopping list. The user rattles off different attributes to succeeding at work, writing:

“Charisma. Communication skills. Building rapport with the right people. Being good and looking tall. Confidence. Ability to make a decision under pressure. Public speaking skills. Being someone who others respect and look up to. Good grooming and dress sense and hygiene. Being reliable. Being positive and not complaining. Sharing the CEO’s LinkedIn posts. Sucking up. Matching the manager’s biases/preferences for age/race/religion/gender. Giving the appearance of going above and beyond for the company. Nepotism. Attending all social functions and chatting to senior leaders and telling them their ideas are brilliant. Taking on extra responsibilities like joining committees. Working on high-visibility projects. Being the spokesperson in any group situation.”

They also added,

“Record metrics for anything that you work on, so you can tell your manager hard numbers about how you have improved things. For example customer satisfaction, reducing expenses, increasing sales, reducing tickets, etc.”

Easy, right?

Another person jokingly replied, “Yea, I’m not moving up.”



“Be the squeaky wheel”

User @Deep-Library-8041 shared a great anecdote:

“Only thing I’d add is being vocal about career goals and wanting to move up. I was on a small team of three—me and another person with the same title, plus our manager. After getting settled into the role, in our 1:1’s I shared my career goals and asked for help getting there. So over the course of three years she introduced me to people; when an opportunity popped up she put me forward, supported me when I had new ideas, etc. And at each annual review, I put a lot of effort into showing evidence of my growth, ambition, and results.

My colleague stayed silent. She never spoke up, tried to gain visibility, said no to new projects, etc. I know she’s resentful, but people aren’t mind readers. Be the squeaky wheel—know what you want and ask to be coached how to get there.”

Another prescient commenter added,

“Sounds like you had an excellent manager.”

To which, @Deep-Library-8041 replied, “Yes—should edit to add that you need a supportive manager to make this happen!”

“An ongoing problem with yes-men…”

This one unfolded like a duet, told in two parts. The first, from @billsil, who wrote:

“I asked my friend who was in a VP level role at 27. She told me she knew the product top to bottom better than anyone because she had done such a variety of things on it. The CEO trusted her to tell her the truth, which was an ongoing problem of yes-men.

She had quite the target on her back and dealt with a lot of shit from other people, but she only took shots at people who deserved it. Having dealt with them, I was happy someone could put them in their place.”


team, corporate, business, meeting, skills If you find a company that values your contributions, you will know. Photo credit: Canva

Then, @tennisgoddes1 replied,

“Spot on for generally any company. If you work at a good company that values your contributions and leadership skills, you will know immediately if you are at one of those companies because your skills will be recognized. Respect for your input and experience will be given. It’s quite refreshing.”

“You do not progress simply because you are good at your work”

A dose of reality, shared by @senpai07373:

“You need to realize one important thing. You do not progress simply because you are good at your work, and you work for many years. If you want to progress, you have to show that you have skills needed to level up job. You can be the most brilliant specialist with 15 years of experience, yet you still might not have the capacity to be manager, not to mention director. Being great at your work can and should give your bonus, can and should get you a raise. But just being great at your work is not the most important thing when you look for progress.”


“Knowing how to play the game…”

Some career coaching, courtesy of @throwawayOnTheWayO (who seems like they read Machiavelli’s The Prince or The Art of War a few hundred times):

“Knowing how to play the game is an extremely valuable skill, the most valuable skill, in fact.

No one cares how long you’ve worked at a company. Why would they? If someone came in and was able to learn in 1 year everything that you did in your 5 years, then more power to them. The state of the company right now is probably nothing like it was 5 years ago, and leadership’s plans for the future may include not wanting anything from the past to keep it down.

Companies that grow and make money do so because of smart decisions by competent leadership. They don’t just happen to make money and happen to stay in business for years or decades on dumb luck. It is not easy to keep a company up and running. Once you recognize that most leaders are actually competent and are dealing with numerous variables that you have no knowledge or understanding of, then you can drop your cynicism and start to move up.

Leadership requires effective social skills and the ability to navigate hierarchies, in addition to the skills necessary to handle the day to day of the job.”

“Career movement itself is a skill”

User @Momjamoms offered some wisdom, commenting:

“Through my decades in corporate America, I've seen lots of people work really really hard hoping they'll be noticed and promoted because they were taught that hard work pays off. In reality, it never works that way. Career movement itself is a skill that requires stellar communication skills and constant, active campaigning.”

To which, another user replied:

“This. It has nothing to do with your ability to do your job. It is all about people skills.”

“Why should they promote you?”

Sometimes, the grass really is greener in the other pasture, reminds user @Ok_Push2550. They wrote,

“Changing jobs.

If you've been there for years (5 or more), and haven't left, why should they promote you? If you're doing well enough to not get fired, then they can hire from outside to get someone with more talent and drive to do something big.

If you go somewhere else, it signals to your new employer (and old employer) that you're not satisfied with what you have, and want more.”

A different user agreed, commenting:

“Exactly this. That is how I got promoted twice over the past 7 years, applying for a better position in two companies. That's also how I doubled my salary while my colleague from the first job is still in the same position even though we started on the same day.”

“Confidence.”

For a more measured, achievable response, look to @OGP01, who wrote:

“Multiple moves into slightly bigger roles. Makes them look experienced.

Building good relationships with senior leaders. Talking to them regularly.

Being known for their team's achievements that they enabled. But at the same time praising members of their team for delivering these results.

Confidence. Being able to bullshit their way through anything, even if they haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about.”

“Build a relationship with someone in the C-Suite…”

Although, if you want a true cheat code, @Willing-Bit2581 has the answer:

“Build a relationship with someone in the C-Suite, that can put you on a track… I've witnessed a 35-year-old woman got from Audit Manager to Sr. Manager to Director to AVP in less than 5 years. She’s clearly being groomed for higher roles.

Saw another woman in late thirties, some went from Sr. Analyst to VP in less than 10 years.”


“Education and experience matter, but they’re table stakes”

Another dose of likeability reality, this time, from @Significant_Soup2558:

“Likability often trumps competence. People promote people they enjoy working with, people who make their lives easier, and people who fit the company culture.

This is how you do it. Favor visibility over competence. Treat networking as part of the job, both within and outside the company. Understand that perception is reality. Be strategic about job changes. Use a service like Applyre to job search passively.

Your education and experience matter, but they're table stakes. The people passing you by figured out that career advancement is a different skill set entirely from doing the actual work well.”


team, corporate, business, meeting, skills People skills matter in workplace. Photo credit: Canva

So, will you be taking the advice from these expert corporate Redditors? See you in the C-Suite.

Mark Cuban speaking at a business roundtable hosted by the Kamala Harris for President campaign at Ocotillo in Phoenix, Arizona on October 19, 2024.

Knowledge is one of the only things people can’t take from you. You can lose your possessions, relationships, and money, but what’s between your ears is pretty much forever. The great thing is that we can continue learning new skills and information throughout our lives. However, some folks get stuck because they feel they don’t have the drive to learn new skills or the ability to develop them. A lot of the time, these barriers were built by our own design.

Billionaire Mark Cuban says the key to success is the ability to continue evolving and learning new skills. Cuban is an entrepreneur, investor, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, and star of ABC's Shark Tank. In a 2021 interview with Men's Health, he explained the secret to his success.

What's the secret to Mark Cuban’s success?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"When you’re first starting—you may or may not have a job, you don’t have any money, you’re [uncertain] about your career. What I learned early on is that if I put in the effort, I can learn almost anything. It may take me a long time, but by putting in the effort, I taught myself technology. I taught myself to program. It was time-consuming—painfully so—but that investment in myself has paid dividends for the rest of my life. And the fact that I recognized that learning was truly a skill, and that by continuing to learn to this day, I'm able to compete and keep up and get ahead of most people. Because the reality is most people don't put in the time to keep up and learn, and that's always given me a competitive advantage.”


The empowering thing about Cuban’s advice is that it can help just about anyone, regardless of their economic status. In most cases, people can teach themselves valuable skills that can help them get a job or go out on their own with very little, if any, money. The key is to believe in yourself enough that you can learn the skill and to persevere, no matter the setbacks.

The problem is that we often hold ourselves back by telling ourselves that we aren’t smart enough or don’t have the talent to learn certain skills. When, in reality, we have everything we need to learn something new, we’ve just talked ourselves out of it.

What is a growth mindset?

Carol Dweck, a researcher who focuses on human motivation, says that it all comes down to whether we have a fixed or growth mindset. Those who have a fixed mindset and have a hard time picking up new skills believe that their skill set cannot be improved. They may think they're good at athletics but aren’t great at math, so they stick to sports instead of teaching themselves how the stock market works.

new skill, labor, woman in hard hat, drill press, factoryA woman in a hard hat.via Canva/Photos

However, other people, such as Cuban, have a growth mindset and believe they can expand and change beyond how they see themselves in the current moment. “There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens,” Dweck writes in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. “The hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.

Dweck believes that we can break into a growth mindset by harnessing the power of “not yet.” Let’s say you’ve always wanted to play guitar but told yourself that you’re “not musical,” so you haven’t picked up the instrument. The key is to say to yourself, “I’m not yet musical, but I have an eye on the goal of becoming so."

Adopting the “not yet” mentality helps you understand you're on a learning curve. "It gives you a glimpse into the future," Dweck said. Learn more about developing a growth mindset and achieving your goals in her TED Talk, “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve,” posted below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

A woman celebrating a big victory.

Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, an adjunct associate professor of psychology at Columbia University’s Barnard College, makes a powerful point in his new book, Rise Above. He believes that the difference between those who are happy and prosperous and those who are not is that one group has managed to “unlearn fear.”

The problem for most people is that learning and unlearning fear are two very separate processes. Learning to be afraid happens automatically in our brains after we have a traumatic or frightening experience. That’s why when we encounter something we are fearful of, we have an emotional and mental response that can be difficult to overcome.

However, unlearning fear is something we must do intentionally. “Fear is automatically learned. And fear must be actively unlearned: We have to choose a different way of living, and we can start by taking responsibility for the fact that unlearning fear—or any past patterns—can take a lot of inner work,” he said, according to CNBC.

success, happiness, fear, overcoming, barriers, teamwork, fear, challengesA team of co-workers celebrating a win.via Canva/Photos

Simply put, our brains constantly collect new fears without our control. But to unlearn those fears, we have to do so intentionally. That’s why countless people are unable to chase their dreams, take risks, and be vulnerable. They haven’t unlearned the unnecessary fears that their brains installed without their knowledge or permission.

For example, at some point in life, most of us acquire a fear of rejection. This prevents a lot of people from asking the boss for a raise, even when they deserve one. But those who have unlearned that fear can get past the barrier and ask for what they deserve. “Our default state is to have a sense of helplessness when we get overwhelmed,” Kaufman says.

Even though we didn’t choose our fears, Kaufman says they are still our responsibility to unlearn. “Sometimes we’re responsible for things not because they’re our fault, but because we’re the only ones who can change them,” he told Psychology Today.


How to “unlearn” fear

Kaufman says that we can unlearn fear by correctly talking about it to ourselves when we experience it. He says that in these situations we should ask ourselves “what” questions, instead of “why" questions. For example, let’s say your boss gave you extra work that you weren’t prepared for. “You can go from ‘Why am I feeling this?’ to ‘OK, what am I feeling?' What would make me feel better?” Kaufman says. “Asking ‘what’ questions—‘What do I need right now, in this moment?’—these lead to a whole upward spiral of productive questions.”

Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich agrees. “'Why' questions can draw us to our limitations. 'What' questions help us see our potential. 'Why' questions stir up negative emotions. 'What' questions keep us curious. 'Why' questions trap us in our past. 'What' questions help us create a better future.”

The difference between the two types of questions is huge. It’s the same as the difference between asking ourselves, “Why does this happen to me?” and “What can I do about it?”

success, happiness, fear, overcoming, barriers, happy woman, race, marathon, runnersA woman winning a race.via Canva/Photos


It’s empowering to consider that the fears that hold us back in life weren’t our choice, so we don’t have to give them the power that they demand. A fear you acquired in the fifth grade may be the same thing holding you back from a raise. So, why not ask what you can do about it, push through, and watch it disappear while building a ladder to greater success and happiness?