Mom's passionate rant about why she was late to school drop-off has parents rolling
Over 4,800 parents shared their own equally hilarious “reasons” for being late.
Mom lists out the ridiculous reason why her kid was late to school
In a perfect world, everything would run smoothly—including getting kids ready for school.
There would be no spontaneous temper tantrums to soothe, no messes to clean up, no fighting to get dressed. Breakfast would go down without a hitch. Kiddos would be in the car on time. Early, even. And off they would be go to a day of learning.
But we don’t live in a perfect world. And for most parents, this idyllic scenario is but a fantasy. Reality looks way more…chaotic. Suddenly, a cereal that was the favorite yesterday is now inedible today, and there’s a last minute final touch that has to be made for a project and there are no matching pairs of shoes to be found anywhere.
With all of these emergencies happening just before having to leave for school (of course), being late is unavoidable. And to add insult to injury, most schools require that parents fill out a form explaining why their kid was tardy. As if there’s ever a sensible reason for it.
Katlyn Whittenburg recently found herself in this all too common situation, after being asked by her kid’s school to give a reason as to why she was “seven minutes late” while dropping her five-year-old daughter off.
This prompted Whittenburg to bust out a no holds barred, flawlessly accurate and all out hilarious rant about how ridiculous the expectation is for parents to give some sort of logical reason for being tardy, since most of the time tardiness is due to nonsensical kid antics that defy logic in the first place. And it’s a speech that every parent can relate to.
“I was seven minutes late dropping my five-year-old off at school today,” Whittenburg begins.
“And when you come in late, you have to tell them why. Like, I don't understand. If it was like 40 minutes late because it's like oh maybe they had a doctor's appointment or maybe some[thing] crazy happened, but seven minutes late? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? Because I couldn't? Because I simply cannot?”
Ramping up, she continues with the actual reasons she fell behind that morning.
“Because my daughter painted a mural using toothpaste this morning, and I apparently I support the arts. Because my other daughter had a bloody nose and sneezed and now got to get a crime scene cleanup crew to come in and get all up in my zone.”
Somewhere in there, the mom also reveals that part of her routine that morning was trying to convince her daughter to wear an actual coat, rather than an “unsanctioned bee costume.” Oh boy.
She then jokes that most parents simply put “traffic” as their reason for being late, but if her school really needs an honest answer as to why she was late, she’s gonna need way more paper space.
“Well how am I gonna fit on this one little line that I was born on a hot summer day in Atlanta, and it's been downhill ever since? Because I'll go into detail if you want to know,” she says, getting more existential by the minute.
“I'm just gonna write ‘see attachment’ and just start carrying around a file folder of all the reasons I can't and shan't. My shan't folder. You just open it up ,and it says ‘Started with a big bang,’” she quips.
“Here we are. Oh, you want me here on time? Oh well, then next time you're gonna get a bee who looks like they just committed a violent crime in a dentist's office.” she concludes.
@katlyn.whittenburg 🐝 #momprobs #parentprobs #parentingbelike #havingkidsbelike ♬ W.A.Mozart, Rondo alla Turca from Piano Sonata No. 11 in A major - AllMusicGallery
Proving just how relatable Whittenburg’s situation is, literally thousands of parents chimed in with their own reasons for being late. And they are pure comedy.
Here’s a small sampling:
“Last time I wrote down, ‘life is hard ok, I’m trying,’”
“My mom used to say ‘car problems’ because we weren’t in the car on time and that was a problem.”
“My dad used to always write ‘snow in the driveway’ we lived in Florida. 😂,”
“I’ve written ‘I’m trash’ three times this year.”
“The sleeve was touching his wrist 😂”
“I’ve written ‘family of 4 with ADHD. you’re lucky we’re her this early!’”
“Spilled yogurt drink down pants and purposely sat on 8 blueberries.”
“I’ve decided I’m making a jar of various reasons and keeping it in the car. Then each time I’m late they get a lucky dip reason 😂”
Just goes to show—parenting is about rolling with the chaos. No one is spared.
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A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via 
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Gif of baby being baptized
Woman gives toddler a bath Canva
An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.