upworthy

Identity

LQBTQIA+

Man has the best response after being 'offended' by his neighbor's LGBTQ pride doormat

"I'm writing to let you know that I find your doormat to be extremely offensive.”

A "Gayest Place in Town" doormat.

A TikTok user named Clay came back from a bar and was walking on the third floor of his apartment complex when he came across something that offended him to the core: a doormat in front of an apartment building with the legend “Gayest place in town” on it.

"I don't like that at all," Clay joked in a TikTok video with nearly two million views. “Because it implies that my place is not the gayest place in town." He quickly ordered himself a "Gayest place in town" doormat and then taped a piece of paper with “2nd” written on it so the competing doormat now read: "2nd gayest place in town." He also attached a longer note that included a challenge: "Hello downstairs Gay-bor(s), I'm writing to let you know that I find your doormat to be extremely offensive. I personally believe that MY apt is the gayest place in town and I hereby challenge you to a gay-off,” the letter read, which also contained his TikTok user name.

@claygaiken

And my place IS the gayest place in town 😤😤😤🏳️‍🌈💅🏻💁🏻‍♂️

Man challenges neighbors to a Pride Month gay-off

Clay challenged the offending residents, who he'd learn are Lauren and Cara, a lesbian couple, to a gay-off. "HEY THAT'S MY DOORMAT, HEY NEIGHBOR!” Lauren responded to the TikTok. You will be hearing back from us,” she added. “I look forward to it,” Clay confidently responded. The lesbian couple shot back with a letter on Clay's doorstep that read: "Hi Gay-boy, we have no clue what this entails, but it sounds gay, so naturally we are in—Cara & Lauren."

Commenters on Clay’s TikTok page were excited that the gay-off was on, but some hoped that he was competing with a man. “You need to put out gay decor and then you and your neighbor keep trying to outgay each other's decor and then idk enemies to lovers y'all fall in love,” one person wrote in the comments.

"Everyone assumed the other apartment belonged to a gay man and hoped for an 'enemies to lovers' situation," Clay told Newsweek. "But I had a strong suspicion it was lesbians. I mean, I used to joke that the third floor was the lesbian floor."

Clay posted a follow-up video showing the lesbian couple's response, and they didn’t hold back.

@claygaiken

Replying to @Shareda Mills team Lesbians, you’re up 👀@Lauren Bishop @calabrese101

Clay let the commenters choose the winner, and they overwhelmingly chose the lesbian couple. “We’re sorry, but RAINBOW TINSEL?! Your decor is cute, but they came to WIN,” one commenter wrote. "Yeah, I mean, the door thing they put up is very eye-catching, yours is cute... but... I think they have this round,” another added.

Compared to the lesbian couple, Clay's approach was more subtle. His decor included two small signs that said "Homo Sweet Homo" and "Just a heads up, its really gay in here" and two pride flags taped to the door. But, if you wanted him to win, don't feel bad just yet, there’s still a chance for a comeback. He told Newsweek that he plans on keeping the gay-off going throughout Pride Month. Plus, who knows, this could just be the beginning; next year, they may have to challenge each other to see who has the gayest place in their building once more.

@ilonamaher/Instagram

“BMI doesn’t tell you what I can do.”

It seems like at least once a year, the topic of “BMI,” or “body mass index,” being a flawed measuring system for fat mass and health comes up in conversation. Experts will explain how BMI leads to an incomplete perspective at best—since it doesn't take into consideration several key factors that influence a person’s body composition—and at worst, actual health risks, affecting eligibility for things like weight loss medications, insurance rates, joint-replacement surgery and fertility treatment. And then life moves forward.

And yet, despite the constant debunking, the belief in BMI still marches on. And this time, it was hurled at the USA rugby star and Olympian Ilona Maher. More specifically, someone commented “I bet that person has a 30% BMI” on one of Maher’s TikTok videos.

ilona maher, olympics, team usa, rugby, bmi, body weightBMI is not always an accurate measure of health.

Could this person have simply been pointing out the inherent flaw of BMI? Saying that Maher, an elite athlete, would be considered “overweight” using this system? Perhaps. But this is the internet we’re dealing with, so Maher (and others) interpreted it to be an insult.

And under that context, Maher wasn’t having it, and chose "not to just ignore the haters."

“Hi, thank you for this comment. I think you were trying to roast me, but this is actually a fact. I do have a BMI of 30. Well, 29.3 to be exact,” Maher said in response video…which became something of a roast itself.

Maher talked about how she had been considered “overweight” her entire life, and even recalled being “so embarrassed” to turn in a physical form to the office which had “overweight” written on it.

“I chatted with my dietician, because I go off facts, and not just what pops up here. You know, like you do.” she quipped while tapping her temples.

Maher is 5-ft.-10-in. and 200 lbs, which is considered “overweight” by BMI standards. But as she explained, about 170 of those 200 pounds are “lean muscle mass.”

“Do that math in your head…you probably can’t,” Maher said sarcastically.

It’s easy to see through this example how bogus BMI really is, especially for athletes.

Essentially, “BMI doesn’t tell you what I can do.”

“It doesn’t tell you what I can do on the field. How fit I am. It’s just a couple of numbers put together,” she said. “It doesn’t tell you how much muscle I have, or anything like that.”

Maher concluded by faux lamenting, “I do have a BMI of 30. I am considered overweight. But alas, I am going to the Olympics, and you’re not.”

u.s. women's rugby, jill biden, 2024 olympics ilona maherThe U.S. women's rugby team with First Lady Jill Biden and members of the U.S. delegation to the 2024 Summer Olympic GamesThe White House/Public Domain

While Maher’s clapback was certainly satisfying, it also provided some much needed reassurance to folks. So many commented on how this outdated concept has affected (or still effects) their own body image of that of a loved one.

How can I get my teenage daughter with a high BMI (but fit!) to understand this?! She feels shamed even at the doctor for her BMI.”

“Dancer here, I'll never forget at 13 being told I had the BMI of 24 of ‘overweight.’ I broke down and the nurse said it didn’t mean anything and all I could think was then WHY are you making me do this?!”


body weight, scale, BMIWeight and BMI can't say what we can do.Giphy

“I had to ask the doctor’s office to put a note on my child’s file to not bring up/talk about BMI in her check ups. It isn't an accurate representation of health!”

“Thank you for sharing your weight, bc seeing lbs numbers in different bodies has been so helpful in me loving mine. I’m nowhere near an athlete's body but damn, the numbers really do us in.”

Until a more affordable solution pops up, BMI will continue to rear its ugly head in doctor’s offices and in our psyches. Maybe this is a reminder that our bodies are so much more than height and weight every now and again is a good thing. And if it comes from an Olympian…even better.

Maher also shut down any notions that her BMI was high due to anything other than muscle with a Sports Illustrated cover shoot in August of 2024. Um, yeah.

Thin and fit are not the same thing. Thank you, Ilona Maher, for the powerful reminder.

This article originally appeared last year.

Golden Years

7 'old people' sayings that are actually solid life advice at every age

"Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

Elder wisdom can come in handy.

With age comes wisdom, or at least we hope it does. As we get older, we collect life lessons that we can pass along to younger generations, sometimes with lengthy stories, sometimes with quippy sayings.

Adages like "A penny saved is a penny earned," or "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," have been part of our collective treasure chest of life advice for generations, but the aphorisms that spring from the experience of our loved ones and mentors are often the most meaningful.

Someone shared that they'd read and appreciated this old man's advice: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” The person asked for more tidbits of wisdom from old folks and people started sharing sayings they heard from their elders growing up.

Here are some of the best "old man advice" sayings and how they can be applied in a person's life.

"You might miss what’s ahead of you if you keep concentrating on what’s in the rear view mirror."

Another commenter put it another way: "Don't look behind you, you aren't going that way." This adage is about not dwelling on the past. Many of us have a tendency to spend more time mentally in the past, rehashing old memories or being nostalgic for what once was, than we do in the present or looking forward to the future. There's nothing wrong with a little reflection, but if most of our focus is in the past, we miss out on the present. Rear view mirrors are for quick glances, not where our focus should be.

"Do the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

This saying is about good character and true integrity. If you notice someone drop a $20 bill and no one is around to see but you, do you give it back to them or do you pick it up and keep it? If you realize that a store didn't charge you for an item, do you point it out and make it right or do you allow the mistake to remain? There are opportunities each day for us to choose between right and wrong, and those choices really speak to who we are if they are made without anyone else knowing.

Lisa and Bart Simpson discuss combining showmanship with integrity, outdoors.bart simpson episode 21 GIFGiphy


"Be nice to everybody you meet on the way up the ladder. You'll see the same faces on the way down "

Don't get cocky and don't burn bridges you think you won't need to return to. There's value in being kind for its own sake, but there's also the reality that being kind also makes people like you. When people like you, they're more likely to lend you a helping hand, and you never know when you're going to be in a position to need one. It's also a good reminder that you're not inherently better than anyone else just because of where you are in life. We're all constantly in flux, so it's important to stay humble and kind.

In other words, "Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

"One of the most powerful negotiating tools is silence."

The power of silence in general is often underrated, but it can be an especially useful tool in a negotiation. Some people are so uncomfortable with silence that they will make concessions simply to avoid it. And sometimes the best response to an unreasonable demand is to just say nothing and stare, letting the other party come to the realization themselves. It takes calm confidence to simply be quiet and let the silence fill the room, which can feel surprisingly intimidating.

Person giving a playful side-eye with a slight grin, wearing a black jacket; "BOUNCE" logo visible.Eddie Murphy Shut Up GIF by BounceGiphy

"Always listen to your gut, even if you can’t explain it."

Ah, the strange and mysterious sense of intuition that we can't really describe but know when we feel it. Whether it's getting a creepy vibe about a person or a little voice telling you to do or not do something, those "gut instincts" can serve us well. Of course, if we are prone to anxiety, our instincts can sometimes be confused with anxious thoughts, but "go with your gut" is solid advice anyway.

“It doesn’t matter what path you’re on if it’s the wrong mountain.”

Sometimes people trying to find their way end up hitting roadblock after roadblock, which may mean they just haven't found the right path yet or might mean they need an entire overhaul of their life. That might look like switching career paths entirely, rather than trying to find a job in your field that fits. It might mean changing majors in the middle of your studies when you find yourself not enjoying any of your classes. It might mean finding a new community or reevaluating your relationships.

"The harder I work, the luckier I get."

Several sayings line up with this one, like "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity," and "Luck favors the prepared mind." There's a lot to be said for fortune and hard work going hand in hand. If we expect good things to just land in our lap, we will likely be disappointed, but if we move in the direction of things we want to happen and do the work of preparing for good things to come our way, "luck" frequently seems to follow.

Finding a saying that resonates can be really helpful when we're facing a specific challenge in life, especially when we commit it to memory and repeat it often.

This article originally appeared in March.

Identity

NFL's first openly gay player shares hilarious moment he realized it was 'safe' to come out

Nassib himself made a gay joke, and the reaction from other players told him everything.

Erik Drost - CC BY 2.0 & Canva Photos

It took years and a lot of courage for Carl Nassib to come out. Now he's sharing the surprisingly funny story.

When Carl Nassib told the world he was gay, it was a huge moment for the NFL, sports, and the queer community. At the time, Nassib was a key defensive player for the Las Vegas Raiders, and his announcement made him the first openly gay active NFL player.

Before him, a few other players had come out after retiring. And there had also been the news and hype around Michael Sam a few years earlier, who was also openly gay. But unlike Nassib, Sam never saw NFL action in a regular-season game and was released before he could make a name for himself in the league. However, there was plenty of debate and rumors that Sam's open sexuality had contributed to his falling in the 2014 draft and ultimately washing out of the league. Though Sam was a good first step forward for the sports world, his experience didn't exactly leave the door wide open for the next person.

Nassib didn't let that stop him. He made his announcement in June of 2021, during the offseason, and on the opening Monday Night Football game of the next season, he made the key defensive play in front of an audience of millions to essentially win the game for his team.


@abcnews

#CarlNassib makes history by coming out as first openly gay active NFL player: “I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now.” #news #sports

Nassib was recently interviewed on The Pivot podcast and gave new insight into his decision to come out. One funny story, in particular, stuck out in his memory.

Former players Ryan Clark and Channing Crowder, hosts of the podcast, asked Nassib if he had any stories about his time in the league worth sharing. "I don't want a bad story because everybody thinks football players are these big meatheads who don't understand anything," Crowder said. "I got funny stories," Nassib replied.

Nassib said that during a game against Cleveland in 2020, he was annoyed that the Browns kept running a play called a "bootleg" away from him, which meant he had to expend a lot of energy sprinting full speed across the field to catch up. "I was so mad," he says.

"Stop with these gay ass bootlegs!" he yelled at the opposing team, admitting later in the interview that his own use of the word was pretty ignorant at the time. And that's when the entire opposing offensive line turned around and told him "You can't say that!"

"Oh man, the league is ready for this," Nassib recalls thinking. "They are ready for me. We got some allies here. ...I was like, 'This is so funny. The guy about to come out, saying the word gay, getting shut down by five massive dudes."

Watch the whole podcast exchange here:


Of course, there was more to it than that one funny moment. Later in the interview, Nassib went on to explain that the death of his uncle, who was also gay, had a huge impact on his decision.

Nassib grew up in a huge family, and his uncle was the only one of the whole bunch of 44 cousins who was open about being gay. On his Uncle Bill's deathbed in 2019, Nassib came out to him privately, and his uncle was so relieved not to be the only one. It inspired Nassib that he could do that for even more people around the world.

"When I came out to him, he was like, 'This is the biggest weight off my chest. I'm not the only one." Nassib remembers thinking, "Man, there's probably so many people out there that are going to feel that same way." Nassib had been wanting to come out publicly for years, but that moment with his uncle was one of the main catalysts that gave him the courage to finally go through with it.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Though Nassib is now retired from pro football, he leaves behind a powerful legacy. There have been no new players to follow in his footsteps per se, but young people all over the world have been quietly following his example ever since.

Nassib and his family still regularly hear from teenagers and their parents that his video gave them the courage to come out, or to participate in sports despite their fears of rejection. He continues to work closely with the Trevor Project and other organizations that aim to make the world safer for LGBTQ youth. And to think, it all may not have happened if those beefy Browns players hadn't called him out on the field!