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Person who uses a wheelchair shares tips for being less weird around them

"It's wild to me how often people will just roll me out of their way. Please don't do this."

wheelchair
Image by Canva, Screenshot via @AdamHubrig/Twitter

A wheelchair user offered some helpful tips for how to interact with them in daily life.

One of the best things about social media—besides the hilarious cat videos—is how it gives us all an opportunity to learn from one another. The ability to share an experience or a piece of wisdom or advice and have it be carried far and wide can be incredibly useful, especially when it comes from someone whose voice may not be heard as often as it should.

A perfect example is a 2022 thread by Ada Hubrig (@AdamHubrig) on Twitter explaining how and how not to interact with a person in a wheelchair. Hubrig says using a wheelchair has been "life-changing in the best way" for them, but the way they are treated when they are using a wheelchair can be annoying, frustrating, hurtful or just downright weird.

Some people don't have regular interactions with people who use wheelchairs and may have questions about what's appropriate and what's not. Some people might make assumptions about people using wheelchairs or be completely oblivious to how their prejudices are impacting their behavior. Hubrig's thread not only clarified some common issues wheelchair users deal with, but also opened up the conversation for people to ask some of the less obvious questions.

Hubrig opened their thread by explaining that they actually love their wheelchair, as they can't stand or walk for more than 10 minutes without it. However, they loathe how people treat them when they're using it.

Then they shared some tips on how to do better:

"First, remember that wheelchair users are people," they wrote. "We are more similar to you than different, we're just sitting down while you're standing up. You're likely around other people who are sitting as you stand all the time. Don't make it weird."

"Second, remembering that we're people, respect our autonomy," they continued. "If we're speaking and you have a question for me, don't ask my partner who is standing. As an example, medical professionals will often ask my partner my symptoms when I am RIGHT THERE. Please notice us."

The third piece of advice was to never touch a person's wheelchair or other mobility or medical advice unless you have been given permission. Hubrig said that people will often just roll them out of the way.

Yeah, don't do that. You wouldn't pick up a standing person and move them out of the way (hopefully). Same concept.

Hubrig went on to explain that no one is entitled to anyone else's medical history or trauma. "I get that you may mean well, but asking 'what happened' can be more difficult for some people than you realize," they wrote. "It's a lot of emotional labor to answer."

On a related note, don't ask about people's genitals. Ever. Seriously.

A tip for parents: "Please don't let your kids crawl on me or my wheelchair. My wheelchair isn't a toy."

"I like kids mostly, I do," Hubrig wrote. "But even if we weren't in a pandemic, I don't want any stranger up in my personal space like that. Once a kid ripped my ostomy bag off me. No plz."

Also, don't make judgments about a person's need for the wheelchair. "Some wheelchair users, like myself, don't use the wheelchair full time," Hubrig wrote. "I can walk/stand about ten minutes at a time, and use a cane for short distances. If you see a wc user standing/using a cane/whatever, don't assume we're faking. We don't use a wc for fun."

Not being believed can be a major barrier to people with disabilities utilizing the tools they need to live as fully and functionally as possible. "I have talked to many people whose life would be better with a mobility device but they don't use one. Because of how we treat people who use mobility devices."

That is a tragedy.

Finally, Hubrig summed up the basics:

"1.) Wheelchair users/disabled people ARE people. Act as such.

2.) Mind your business."

Seems simple enough, but as we all know, humans have a remarkable ability to not follow simple instructions.

One of the common questions well-meaning people had was whether or not they should offer to help a person in a wheelchair if it appears they are struggling. On the one hand, you don't want to assume someone needs help just because they're in a wheelchair, but on the other, you don't want to leave them struggling if they do need help.

The consensus was that asking if someone needs help is almost always appropriate. Just don't assume they need help and jump in without asking (barring any obvious emergencies, of course).

Another question some had was whether it's appropriate to lean over or kneel down to talk to someone in a wheelchair. On the one hand, it might feel more respectful to put yourself on the same eye level as the person in the chair. On the other hand, you don't want to make them feel like you're infantilizing them. (This question was asked by a person who is hard of hearing, which adds another layer to the question as that's an accommodation that needs to be considered as well. But it was also asked by someone who simply wanted to know which wheelchair users preferred.)

Responses from wheelchair users varied a bit, but most agreed that standing was fine for brief exchanges, but pulling up a chair to talk to them at a similar height was appreciated for long conversations. It can be straining on the neck to look up at someone for long periods.

So much boils down to basic empathy and the Golden Rule. If you were using a wheelchair, what would feel rude or disrespectful or annoying? How would you want people to talk to or interact with you? The truth is any one of us may find ourselves with a disability that necessitates a mobility or medical device at some point in our lives, so the more we normalize accommodations and, you know, basic courtesy and compassion, the better off we'll all be.


This article originally appeared on 2.24.22

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers

Dad breaks down in joyous tears after finding out daughter won four awards at school

"I've never been an academic student. I've never reached those highs before."

Photo credit: Canva

Dad breaks down in tears after daughter won four school awards

Kids are constantly surprising us. It's one of the perks of being a parent, watching your child learn new things as they grow all while making us proud. This can be especially true for parents who may not have had the best childhood or may not have been the best student. One dad attended his daughter's awards ceremony at her elementary school and left in tears after being overwhelmed with pride.

In a video uploaded to social media, Ralmon McAfee is seen with tears streaming down his face and we soon find out why. It's not just because his daughter was the recipient of four awards but because he didn't expect a child he created to be smart enough to receive academic awards.

Photo credit: Canva

While parents often do their best to raise their children with more resources and opportunity than they had, it can be hard to overcome the negative thoughts left over from childhood. Clearly this emotional dad was still holding on to the belief that he wasn't intelligent as a child and therefore unintentionally expected his child to experience what he had in his childhood educational settings. This makes the emotional response all the more intense for the man.

The video was originally uploaded at the end of the school year to TikTok but has recently been reshared on Reddit where it has gone viral again.

@mr.review832 PROUD FATHER NEVER HAVE I EVER RECEIVED ANY OF THOSE AWARDS .....BUT FOR MY SEED MY FLESH BLOOD TO DO IT !!!!!...I COULDNT BE ANYMORE HAPPIER!!!! #fypシ #GRADUATION ♬ original sound - RAMBO

"Call me soft. Call me what y'all want. But I never expected my child to receive four awards. And I've never, and I've never been a academic student. I've never reached those heights before. Call me weak, call me lame but I'm crying because I never thought that could come from me and I'm proud of my daughter," the dad says.

Photo credit: Canva

He wasn't the only one exuding excitement. People who viewed the video were happy the dad got to experience seeing his daughter succeed in a way he didn't achieve as a child and didn't know that his children could. As the video was ending the proud father told viewers he was headed back to work to continue to provide for his daughter. Viewers hope he told everyone at work all about his daughter's awards so he had others to share in his joy.

One person says, "I hope he told everyone at work, gotta share the excitement he has for his girl!" before another responds, "You kidding?! He's probably told all his colleagues, his boss, AND EVERY client or customer he's served that day! And rightly so. Every parent is or should be proud of their kids' achievements, no matter how small or big. I was and still am when my kids achieve things. And mine are in their 20's and 30's."

Photo credit: Canva

The video made another dad cry right along with him, "I’m a 6’4 275 lb semi jacked dad bod dude that cries during Disney movies. This dude is the FURTHEST from lame and weak of “soft” (imagine thinking kindness towards others is a bad thing).A real man isn’t afraid to show their emotions, communicates, and has empathy and love for others and their accomplishments. He has it in spades. F-ck anyone else who says otherwise. I’m so happy for him and his daughter. F-ck now I’m tearing up lol."

"This is the opposite of weak in my books. This is a father who is so secure in his masculinity that he is not ashamed of crying over his daughter’s achievements. This is strength I’m so happy for this guy and his little star," another writes.

Photo credit: Canva

"'I never thought that could come from me.' Man that's so deep and heartbreaking. He thought that his makeup, his DNA, was 'bad' and wouldn't allow for someone to be academically inclined. He's having a revelation about humanity and it's beautiful. I hope he knows now that he always had, and likely still has, the potential to be whatever kind of person he wants," someone says.

Another tears up at the dad's thought about himself saying, "The thought that in his mind she accomplished something that he feels or was made to feel like he couldn’t. Now he knows that he does have it in him. Also that he’s nurturing something beautiful in his daughter.As a minority we buy into these narratives that tear us down. I’m so happy to see in this day not only that he got to experience that with his child but that he is able to show emotion for it. Some much going on in this video


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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Family

'Shut your mouth.' New grandma offers spot on advice to being a non-toxic mother-in-law.

“Nobody cares how you did it."

@wendygimpelrealtor/TikTok

She brings up good points.

We all know the typical image of a mother-in-law is…less than positive. And that is obviously because for many, many people out there, having an in-law who’s controlling, passive aggressive, narcissistic, and altogether unpleasant is a very real experience.

However, there are MIL’s out there, like Wendy Gimpel, who provide not only a soothing counter narrative, but also a bit of tough love advice for those who need to hear it.

In a video posted to her TikTok, we see Gimpel nuzzling her newborn grandchild, whom she is watching over while her son and “his beautiful wife” are off enjoying a date night. Immediate brownie points.

@wendygimpelrealtor Be the best grandparent you can be! be supportive. Do the dishes make the food clean the kitchen fold the diapers do their laundry. Change the sheets love with an open hand. #grandma #grandparents #supportiveparents #over50 #relationships #family #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel


Gimpel went on to explain how her algorithm kept exposing her to folks around her age who apparently have “estrangement issues” with their children, which prompted her to say a few words.

“All I want to say is, our job as grandparents, in my opinion, is to help our kids be the best parents they can be. We already did this. We had our chance. And if we did it right, or at least partially correct, we get to do this!” she said, gesturing towards the little one.

She then added that “Nobody cares how you did it,” she says, referring to raising children, because they aren’t the ones doing the childrearing anymore.

“His wife gets to do [it] the way she wants to do it. ... I just want to do what you want me to do, and I’m not going to give you unsolicited advice. If you want to ask me something, I’m happy to share how I did it, but because I did it a certain way doesn’t mean you need to do it a certain way.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Let’s do better 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #grandparents #over50 #relationships #family #over50 #foryoupage #fyp ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

She used the example of cloth diapers, saying, “you wanna do cloth diapers? Let’s do cloth diapers. Show me how to do ‘em. I’ll air dry them. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I just wanna do what you want me to do.” How refreshing is that?

And then Gimpel really drove her point home, bluntly telling people what to actually do if they want to be good grandparents.

“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand. Don’t expect anything in return and maybe you’ll have a relationship with your grandkids. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Just to be supportive and helpful and just to be involved, that’s my goal ... They are their own family unit now: they need to do what works for their family.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Pick your battles, be the glue, love your village 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #family #relationship #over50 #genx #relationships #foryoupage #fyp #pickyourbattles ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

Unsurprisingly, millions of viewers found the video, and loved the sentiment, particularly the “no one cares how you did it” part.

“‘No one cares how you did it.’ SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK,’” one person wrote.

Another said, "If you offer a workshop, I have a few grandparents to register.”

Perhaps part of this need to insert input comes from a fear of being seen as obsolete. But honestly, it’s not so much that former methods are invalid, it’s just a completely different world (grandparents didn’t have to concern themselves with digital hygiene, for one thing). And point blank, is it more important to be right? Or to maintain a healthy connection with our loved ones? Sometimes it really does boil down to that simple question.

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Humor

A comedian's mom has the most adorable reaction to being name-checked in her son's comedy show

"Do you think she's trying to be rude?"

TikTok

Gareth Reynolds and his mom

Gareth Reynolds, stand-up comic and co-host of the popular podcast The Dollop (alongside comedian Dave Anthony,) is one of the funniest working comics out there. His jokes are stellar, but it's the improvised audience reactions that really resonate with tons of fans.

At a recent comedy show in Eugene, Oregon, he asks an audience member, "What do you got?" (after presumably talking about pets). A woman answers that she has a dog. But what she says next is bizarre, hilarious, and completely unexpected, even for the most seasoned comedians. "She's a weiner-pit. Like your mom." She then elicits a self-satisfied laugh, like she's been waiting forever to say those words.


@reynoldsgareth

Unbelievable. #weinerpit Garethreynolds.com for tickets to all upcoming shows

It takes the audience a minute to even understand what just happened, but shortly after, they begin laughing. Gareth responds, "What the F---?" and the audience goes wild. He gathers himself and says, "Let me walk you through my favorite part of what just happened. First of all, the no waiting for me to respond at any time." He then makes punching gestures and says, "But also. She took her mask off like Maverick does in Top Gun." He mimes ripping a mask off and says, calmly — 'Weiner pit. Like your mom.' And then put it back on like her mission was done."

It's later that the real comedy gold is mined. Gareth decides to show his mother, Pam, the video, explaining, "You're involved in this. I want to get your reaction." She watches the clip a couple of times, while holding a small fan to her face. Gareth repeats the line, "She's a weiner pit. Like your mom."

Video may not be suitable for younger readers.

@reynoldsgareth

My mom’s reaction to being called a weiner pit…

Pam busts out laughing in the most adorable way — her English accent only making it all the more delightful. "That's really funny! A weiner-pit! Like your mom?" She then stops for a moment and asks, "Do you think she's trying to be rude?" Gareth explains that yes, she was trying to be rude, to which Pam questions, "So what does she think, I'm like a little pit bull?"

Gareth pauses. "Oh Mom. No. Think about it. A weiner pit." The words are said a few more times until Pam has an "aha!" moment. "Oh like a willy!" This is affirmed. "But where's the pit?" Gareth, in the most gracious way possible, says — "You are the pit."

Pam, still a bit confused, repeats, "Willy pit," followed by the most engaging giggle, possibly ever heard. Gareth realizes he must further explain, which he does. "Not as funny now, is it?"

She looks up at him again, still smiling. "That IS rude. Well, I think I'll have to track her down, have a word with her, tell her it's not true." Never once does Pam break her grin.

Upworthy spoke to Gareth, who admits that he had no idea the fan had planned to heckle him, or as he put it (referencing his boxing metaphor earlier,) do a "rope-a-dope." With regard to his mom, he shares, "She is always this adorable and I rarely show her stuff. Sometimes my family will show her a thing, or if it involves my family, I'll show her."

Though back in 2020, Gareth shares, "I did a whole series with her called Pamdemics." This made the already popular comedy-mom even more lovable to his fans, and he knows just when to use it. And although Gareth might be biased, after being asked what else he has to say about his mom, his answer is what many of us might be thinking: "I guess only that my mother is truly the loveliest."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com



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