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The "keep your fork" tattoo is extremely popular, and for good reason.

People get tattoos for lots of reason. Sometimes, it's to cover themselves in beautiful art that they, and others, can admire every day. Sometimes it's to remember a loved one. Other times, it's so they have a constant, visual reminder of a message that speaks to their heart.

Take, for example, the famous semicolon tattoo. Why a semicolon? It stands in stark contrast to a period, which ends a sentence or a story. The semicolon speak to a story that is not yet over, that is to be continued. It's commonly used by suicide survivors or people who struggle with depression as a reminder of the strength it takes to continue on. There's also the "Lucky Few" tattoo, which denotes pride and solitary among parents of children with Down syndrome.

One mom recently noticed a strange tattoo on another woman out in the wild. It was so unique and, seemingly, random that she had to ask what it meant. Prominently displayed on her arm, the woman had a tattoo of...a fork.


 tattoos, ink, body art, mantras, religion, spirituality, semicolon tattoo, lucky few tattoo, fork tattoo, keep your fork Want to get this tattooed permanently on your skin?  Photo by Matt Popovich on Unsplash  

Emily Hawkins shared the encounter in a post on LinkedIn.

Hawkins had been volunteering at her daughter's swim meet when she noticed the interesting ink on a fellow mom. She couldn't resist asking: "What's the story behind the fork?"

The woman answered that the fork tattoo was a reference to the old saying, "Keep your fork."

Imagine, if you will, being a young kid sitting down to family dinner. You've gobbled up all the casserole, eaten all your veggies, and it's time to clear the table. Imagine that maybe your mother is kind enough to come around and take the dirty dishes out of your way. Except, she leans over and whispers, "Keep your fork," with a wink.

The saying implies that something great is coming your way, like an unexpected dessert: a slice of pie or some cake. Think of how excited your little kid brain would be!

The "Keep Your Fork" tattoo is a reminder to feel that joy every day. It symbolizes that, no matter how hard things get in life, something good is just around the corner. Better things are coming your way.

Or, as the woman in Hawkins' story put it, "The best is yet to come."

Read the whole post here:

The woman at the pool was not the first or only person to adopt "Keep Your Fork" as a life mantra or even as a tattoo.

The tale is best-known as a religious parable first published in Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul in 1996. The story goes that a woman dying of cancer asked her pastor to bury her with a fork.

“Well, pastor ... that’s how I think of my death and funeral. What’s coming next is heaven, and it will be so much better than what I’m experiencing now. And I can hardly wait.”

Since then, the fable has adopted many different meanings for many different people. Not everyone who gets the tattoo thinks of it as a symbol of Heaven. Some just view it as a reminder to stay optimistic, that joy and happiness is never out of reach for too long.

Hawkins post struck a powerful nerve with people. Dozens commented to say how much they appreciated the message of hope.

"the way this absolutely devastated and inspired me. <3" wrote Lianna.

"This a great story and reminder that better times are ahead. Thanks for sharing!" said Mark.

"This gave me goosebumps. Not just because of the symbolism, but because of how gentle—and generous—it is to hold space for hope." commented Maha.

Don't underestimate symbolic reminders and mantras that take the form of tattoos. Researchers say tattoos can be powerful ways to process grief, love, trauma, and other strong emotions.

Tattoos are art. The way music, film, and books can move us and change the way we think about the world, so can a seemingly simple illustration on our skin.

It also comes with a lot of planning and personal pain, which only adds to their meaning.

A fork may seem a strange thing to permanently etch onto your arm, especially a big one! But as far as messages to be remembered every moment of every day go, the hope and optimism that the fork represents is one of the best I can think of.

It's possible to be "pro-life" and pro-choice.

The legality of abortion is one of the most polarized debates in America. We've seen reproductive rights swing back and forth between the Roe vs. Wade decision in 1973 and the Dobbs vs. Jackson decision in 2022, with passionate people on both sides either lauding or lamenting the U.S. Supreme Court.

People have big feelings about abortion, which is understandable. On the one hand, some people feel that abortion is a fundamental women's rights issue, that our bodily autonomy is not up for debate, and that those who oppose abortion rights are trying to control women through oppressive legislation. On the other hand, some folks believe that a fetus is a human individual first and foremost, that no one has the right to terminate a human life, and that those who support abortion rights are heartless murderers.

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rightsYou don't have to choose between the extremes of the abortion debate.Photo credit: Canva

Then there are those of us in the messy middle. Those who believe that life starts at conception, that abortion isn't something we'd choose—and we hope others wouldn't choose—under most circumstances, yet who choose to vote to keep abortion legal with few restrictions.

Some people don't understand being personally anti-abortion but still wanting abortion to be legal, citing the moral conflict seemingly inherent in that equation. But I don't feel conflicted about it at all. Here's why:

There's far too much gray area to legislate abortion.

No matter what you personally believe, when exactly life begins and when “a clump of cells" should be considered an individual, autonomous human being with the same rights as a person not dependent on a woman's body for life is a completely debatable question with no clear scientific answers.

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rightsWhen life and personhood begin aren't easily answerable questions.Photo credit: Canva

I believe life begins at conception, but that's my own religious belief about when the soul becomes associated with the body, not a proven scientific fact. As Arthur Caplan, award-winning professor of bioethics at New York University, told Slate, “Many scientists would say they don't know when life begins. There are a series of landmark moments. The first is conception, the second is the development of the spine, the third the development of the brain, consciousness, and so on."

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that a human life unquestionably begins at conception. Even with that point of view, there are too many issues that make a black-and-white approach to abortion too problematic to ban it. Medicine is complex, and obstetrical medicine particularly so. It's simply not as simple as "abortion is wrong." Every pregnancy is personally and medically unique throughout—how can we effectively legislate something with so many ever-changing variables?

Abortion bans hurt some mothers who desperately want their babies to live, and I'm not okay with that.

One reason I don't support banning abortion is because I've seen too many families deeply harmed by restrictive abortion laws.

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rightsFamilies who wanted their babies have been hurt by anti-abortion laws. Photo credit: Canva

I've heard too many stories of families who desperately wanted a baby, who ended up having to make the rock-and-a-hard-place choice to abort because the alternative would have been a short, pain-filled life for their child.

I've heard too many stories of mothers having to endure long, drawn out, potentially dangerous miscarriages and being forced to carry a dead baby inside of them because abortion restrictions gave them no other choice.

I've heard too many stories of abortion laws doing real harm to mothers and babies, and too many stories of families who were staunchly anti-abortion until they found themselves in circumstances they never could have imagined, to believe that abortion is always wrong and should be banned at any particular stage.

I am not willing to serve as judge and jury on a woman's medical decisions, and I don't think the government should either.

Most people's anti-abortion views—mine included—are based on their religious beliefs, and I don't believe that anyone's religion should be the basis for the laws in our country. (For the record, any Christian who wants biblical teachings to influence U.S. law, yet cries “Shariah is coming!" when they see a Muslim legislator, is a hypocrite.)

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rightsThe government doesn't need to be involved in personal medical choices.Photo credit: Canva

I also don't want politicians sticking their noses into my very personal medical choices. There are just too many circumstances (seriously, please read the stories linked in the previous section) that make abortion a choice I hope I'd never have to make, but wouldn't want banned. I don't understand why the same people who decry government overreach think the government should be involved in these extremely personal medical decisions.

And yes, ultimately, abortion is a personal medical decision. Even if I believe that a fetus is a human being at every stage, that human being's creation is inextricably linked to and dependent upon its mother's body. And while I don't think that means women should abort inconvenient pregnancies, I also acknowledge that trying to force a woman to grow and deliver a baby that she may not have chosen to conceive isn't something the government should be in the business of doing. As a person of faith, my role is not to judge or vilify, but to love and support women who are facing difficult choices. The rest of it—the hard questions, the unclear rights and wrongs, the spiritual lives of those babies,—I comfortably leave in God's hands, not the government's.

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rightsAbortion is inextricable from healthcare.Photo credit: Canva

Most importantly, if the goal is to prevent abortion, research shows that outlawing it isn't the way to go.

The biggest reason I vote the way I do is because based on my research pro-choice platforms provide the best chance of reducing abortion rates.

Just after Roe vs. Wade was passed, abortion rates skyrocketed, peaked in 1990, and then plummeted steadily for nearly two decades. Abortion was legal during that time, so clearly, keeping abortion legal and available did not result in increased abortion rates in the long run. Switzerland has one of the lowest abortion rates on earth and their rate has fallen and largely stabilized since 2002, when abortion became largely unrestricted.

Outlawing abortion doesn't stop it, it just pushes it underground and makes it more dangerous. And if a woman dies in a botched abortion, so does her baby. Banning abortion is a recipe for more lives being lost, not fewer.

abortion, abortion debate, prolife, prochoice, roe v. wade, dobbs decision, reproductive rights, sex edComprehensive sex education and birth control are the proven ways to prevent abortion.Photo credit: Canva

At this point, the only things consistently proven to reduce abortion rates on a societal scale are comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control. If we want to reduce abortions, that's where we should be putting our energy. The problem is, anti-abortion activists also tend to be the same people pushing for abstinence-only education and making birth control harder to obtain. But those goals can't co-exist with lowering abortion rates in the real world.

Our laws should be based on reality and on the best data we have available. Since comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control—the most proven methods of reducing abortion rates—are the domain of the pro-choice crowd, that's where I place my vote, and why I do so with a clear conscience.

The polarization of politics has made it seem like the only choices are on the extreme ends of the spectrum, but it doesn't have to be that way. We can separate our own personal beliefs and convictions from what we believe the role of government should be. We can look at the data and recognize when bans may not actually be the most effective means of reducing something we want to see less of. We can listen to people's stories and acknowledge that things are not as black-and-white as they're made out to be.

An we can want to see fewer abortions and still vote to keep abortion legal without feeling morally conflicted about it.

This article originally appeared six years ago and has been updated.

A great salesman makes his pitch.

Have you ever disagreed with someone, and even though you had all of the facts on your side, you still failed to persuade the other person? You probably walked away thinking they were thick-headed and couldn't accept reality. But it was more likely just because they are human.

People cling to their firmly held beliefs about politics, religion, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza because they are closely attached to who we are as people. If we come to believe our core beliefs aren’t true, then who are we? The funny thing is that if you counter someone with facts, they will often refuse to believe them and hold onto their incorrect belief even more firmly. It’s a psychological phenomenon known as the backfire effect.

So, if you fight with your brother-in-law about crime rates and show him credible FBI statistics that counter his claim, chances are he will tell you that the facts and figures are made up or that the source isn’t trustworthy.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsFriends get into a fight.via Canva/Photos

How do we change other people’s minds?

So the question is: Is it even possible to change anyone’s mind? Should we even try? The answer is yes, but it is counterintuitive. “A big mistake we make is that we think facts are powerful and that they sway people,” Kurt Gray, a social psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, tells CNBC Make It. Gray is the author of “Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground.”

According to Gray, the key to persuading people is seeing them as someone just like you. “We are all just trying to protect ourselves, our family, our kids, and our society,” he says. But we’re fixated on different harms.” He suggests that we establish a connection with the other person and understand their fears.

What’s the best way to argue with someone?

To establish a connection, ask questions about what motivates their belief. If it’s a fear of crime, ask them to share why they feel there is more crime today. Then, validate their feelings by saying you understand why those observations would lead to that conclusion. That’s when you can try and influence their opinion by sharing a personal story about why you feel differently. “Others are more likely to find some merit in your argument if you share a personal anecdote, as opposed to some statistics, to show why you stand where you do,” Gray says.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsDaughter won't listen to her mother.via Canva/Photos

Whatever you do, don’t make the conversation about scoring points. Be sure it’s an honest discussion about how both of you came to your opinions. “My number one tip is if you go into these conversations trying to win, you’ve already lost because no one ever admits defeat when it comes to morality,” he says. “Sharing and connecting on a human level was more effective than arguing,” Gray told Time. Often, people “think the best thing to do is to argue as aggressively as possible,” but that’s not the case.

Ultimately, you’ll be more successful at sharing your beliefs and influencing others if you go into the conversation attempting to understand the other person’s position instead of proving them wrong. Facts aren’t great at changing people’s minds, but empathy and connection might. So next time you’re in a tense discussion with someone, coo down the situation by ditching the stats and sharing your story. You may not bring the other person to your side, but you may find common ground.

Culture

People share the moment they started believing in ghosts

For some, the question isn't "Do you believe in ghosts?" It's "When did you start believing?"

Believe it or not, these Redditors might have encountered ghosts.

It used to feel like a black-and-white issue: you either believed in the paranormal, or you didn’t. But nowadays, since people can share their stories more readily, more people are opening their minds to the possibility of aliens, magic, and yes, ghosts. And once they cross that threshold, it’s hard to turn back.

According to a 2022 study by YouGov, a market research firm based in the UK, two-thirds of Americans alone believe in some kind of paranormal activity, while over 40 percent specifically believe in ghosts. In 2021, People Magazine cited a small study (commissioned by Phantom Wine and conducted by OnePoll) which claims 57 percent of Americans believe in spirits. While that's not quite everyone, it’s certainly not as rare as it used to be to admit that.

On the Paranormal subreddit, one user asked, "What is THE moment that made you a true believer in ghosts?" The amount of upvotes and responses, which came from people all over the world, was extraordinary. And although each story is more bone-chilling than the next, the community comes together to validate and comfort one another. Here are a few of the best stories from the thread.


You Okay, Dear?

gif of old woman with cane against yellow background Old Lady Sf GIF by Strange Fellows BrewingGiphy

A Redditor shares that "they never believed in the paranormal" until they briefly moved into a house built in 1845 as part of an exchange program in South England.

"The second week, someone frequently knocked on my door. Every time I looked outside, there was no one. I even asked my roommate from across the hall if she knocked. No, she didn’t. I walked down to the kitchen to ask my guest parents if they knocked. No, they didn’t. I asked their kids, three sons if they knocked. No, they didn’t. That made me really suspicious, but I was like, well, old house, noise from the floorboards and stuff."

But things got weirder. "One night, I had to go to the bathroom, walked down the hallway, and heard a clear 'you okay, dear?' I turned around to look for my guest mom. The hallway was empty. THAT freaked me out. The next morning, I talked to my guest mom, and she said it was Grandma Rosie, who had died in the house and who loved to keep watch over the children and the guest children. She had a habit of knocking on the door, coming in, checking on you, asking if you're okay, and then leaving."


The Man at the Foot of the Stairs

man falls down stairsmad men stairs GIFGiphy

One commenter shares, "When I was a kid, I used to stay after school sometimes with an elderly neighbor lady who was a widow. The very first time I entered her house, I glanced up and saw a man standing at the top of the stairs, looking right down at me. It scared the CRAP out of me, and every time I came in, I would keep my eyes on the floor and hurry through the foyer as fast as I could go. But I could always FEEL him there, even if I managed not to see him."

They claimed they kept this information to themselves for years. But finally, "Years later, I was talking to my family about these neighbors. It came out that our neighbor's husband had died several years before I began staying with her, and he had passed after suffering a fatal heart attack and falling down those stairs. I like to think he was still there, keeping watch over his wife, who for a while had a young companion to keep her company in the afternoons."


The One Who Made Us Move Out

silhouette of man standing inside structureSome ghosts aren't so friendly. Photo by Rene Böhmer on Unsplash

Nothing like a ghost shaking your mattress. This user shares, "I became a true believer in 2017. I was working an early first shift at the time, and my husband was working second shift. We lived alone in our townhouse, which always had a weird vibe, like you were being watched, and I would sometimes hear someone calling my name. But we just shrugged it off. One night, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I felt the mattress moving, like someone was trying to bounce me on it. I opened my eyes and saw a shadow on the wall, so I assumed it was my husband and asked him to stop. He didn’t, so I rolled over to where he should have been standing and no one was there. It was like an hour before he got off work. We moved out of that place not too long after."


The Orb Who Liked TV

gif of Carol Anne placing her hands on the static TV screen from PoltergeistTobe Hooper Poltergeist GIFGiphy

A woman shares that she and her husband "were watching TV at 10 in the morning when a 5-inch orb began flickering down through the ceiling, just a few inches from me, and then flew out the wall. We looked at each other and said, 'Well, that just happened.'"

Did any of these stories convince you? I'm starting to wonder myself!