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Sorry, chimps. Oxford professor says octopuses will rule Earth after humans.

They are civilization builders.

via Dan Asaki/Unsplash and Canva/Photos

The last man on earth and a perplexed chimp.

It’s upsetting for many to consider that humans may not be around one day. But it’s not shocking, given the damage that we’ve done to the planet through climate change and the fact that we’re the only species to create a nuclear bomb. Even if we don’t do ourselves in, the odds aren’t in our favor of the Earth not finding a way to eliminate the surface disturbance known as humanity. Studies show that since life began on Earth, 99% of species have ever lived have gone extinct.

So, after the last human on Earth passes away, who will take over the mantle of being the apex predator and build Earth’s next great civilization? University of Oxford professor Tim Coulson has posited that a rather unorthodox species, the octopus, will take over after we’re gone. His new book, The Universal History of Us, outlines his thinking for the cephalopod takeover.

What species will take over the Earth after humans are gone?

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos


Most people would think that the great apes are our natural successors. Still, Coulson says otherwise. “Hominids such as chimpanzees and bonobos are intelligent animals with opposable thumbs, tool-using abilities, and, at least for short distances, the capacity to walk on two legs, traits shared with us,” Coulson told The European. “Despite these similarities, they would likely face extinction alongside humans, as they are equally exposed to threats in our shared environment.”

Coulson says intelligent birds will fail to take over after humans because they “lack the fine motor skills needed to construct a civilization." However, octopuses have the physical, mental, and social possibilities to build a great society, especially without humans to thwart their efforts.

“Their ability to solve complex problems, communicate with one another in flashes of color, manipulate objects, and even camouflage themselves with stunning precision suggests that, given the right environmental conditions, they could evolve into a civilization-building species following the extinction of humans,” Coulson said. “Their advanced neural structure, decentralized nervous system, and remarkable problem-solving skills make several species of octopus well suited for an unpredictable world.”

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos

Coulson believes that octopuses could evolve to create a great civilization beneath the sea that rivals the world created by humans. With some help from evolution, they may also learn to adapt to life on land and take over where people left off. This may sound improbable, but 370 to 390 million years ago, the first sea creatures left the ocean to live on dry land. Further, some animals, such as dolphins and whales, started in the ocean, lived on land, and then returned to the sea after disruptions to their habitats. Could a similar disruption cause the octopus to look for a better life on the beach?

Culum Brown, a professor in the School of Natural Sciences at Macquarie University, is skeptical that octopuses have it in them to make the big leap to the top of the evolutionary heap. “Despite all their tricks, octopuses are still working from a snail blueprint, and there’s only so much you can do with that toolbox. They are also highly constrained by their very short life-span,” Brown wrote in The Conversation.



Sydney Philosophy of Science Professor Peter Godfrey-Smith told Popular Mechanics that octopuses are also hindered by their social dynamics and lack of “intergenerational connections.” Given that they have yet to develop them over millions of years of evolution, Godfrey-Smith is doubtful they’ll occur “anytime soon.”

It’s impossible to know what the future holds, but don’t be shocked if, one day, octopuses develop a superior civilization based on peace, love, and seaweed. “Random mutations, unforeseen extinction events, and population bottlenecks can all significantly influence the trajectory of evolution, making it challenging to determine whether another species will develop human-level intelligence or the inclination to construct cities,” Coulson told The European. “But could octopuses replace humans–and potentially also primates–if they were to die out? Absolutely. They could become the brains of the sea.”

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Octopus fans, get ready for an epic deep dive featuring the ocean’s coolest creature.

What has eight arms, three hearts, and millions of fans?

Photo courtesy of Octonation

Behold, the magicians of the sea

True

On Thursday, August 4 at 10 am PST, swim on over to join Upworthy’s Instagram Live with OctoNation, a nonprofit organization and Facebook group that proudly calls itself “The Largest Octopus Fan Club.”

If you’re a sucker for suckers, then you have found your tribe. Not only does OctoNation have a sticker club and create epic Octo-swag (we’re talking coffee mugs, stickers, sweatshirts…all designed to delight your inner cephalopod-ophile), they also provide amazing videos and resources like Octopedia that educate the world about the many, many different species of octopuses.

For instance, have you ever heard of a Mimic Octopus?

Look out, Meryl Streep! This species should win an Oscar for all the roles it can play. There are 15 known animals the Mimic can transform into, including the flatfish, lionfish, sea snake, brittle stars, sea anemones, jellyfish, stingray, crabs, and the mantis shrimp…just to name a few.

What about a Seven-arm Octopus?

Don’t worry—this species does have eight arms. But that doesn’t make it any less weird. Males of this super rare species grow a mating arm under their right eye, which they use to deliver sperm to a female up to 20 times larger than he is. In a perplexing display of chivalry, he’ll then break off his mating arm so that she can fertilize her eggs. How progressive.

Seriously, just when you think you’ve learned everything there is to know about these fascinating creatures, another new surprising fact emerges from the depths. Luckily, organizations like OctoNation are here to bring the pure wonder of these squishy sea puppies to dry land. And on Aug 4th, viewers won’t only get to geek out, they’ll get to show off their creative side…and perhaps win a special prize.

Chris Adams, OctoNation’s Creative Director, will be hosting a fun drawing class so that everyone can learn how to sketch out an octobuddy of their very own. Adams designs all of Octonation’s artwork, so you know you’ll be in good hands…even if he only has two of them instead of eight. Plus, folks will be able to post their drawings onto Instagram Stories for a chance to win 1 of 5 octopus plushies. I repeat, a squishy octopus plushie could be in your possession. This is not a drill.

Mark your calendars. We hope to see everyone there. Octopuses have captured our imaginations for centuries, and yet there’s still so much to learn and love about them.


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Octopuses sometimes punch the fish they go hunting with, just cuz they feel like it

@TANAKASBEANIE/Twitter

Have you ever been part of a group project and had the overwhelming urge to punch one of your partners?

Of course you have. We all have. Even those of us who aren't prone to violence can understand the urge. In fact, we're all engaged a big group project right now called The Coronavirus Pandemic, and there are whole lot of people in the U.S. group who are just begging for a smackdown. Still think the virus is a "hoax"? Thwap. Wearing your mask as a chin diaper instead of covering your mouth and nose? Whpsh. Toting your AR-15 to the state capitol to threaten public officials because they insist on trying to protect public health? TKO time.

Apparently, those of us who are feeling a bit punchy these days are in good company. A new study has found that octopuses occasionally punch fish that they cooperatively hunt with, seemingly just because they feel like it. Though it's not clear exactly why they do it, scientists say it doesn't appear to be an act of aggression. Some think that they might do it out of "spite" or to influence better hunting behavior.

In other words, Mr. Octopus is hunting along with some annoying group of fish until he's finally like, "Dude, you're bugging the crap out of me. Stop it." Thwack. Or "Dude, you're fudging everything up. Knock it off." Thwack.

Some scientists also think octopuses will throw a punch in a self-serving, I'm-taking-that-just-because-I-can of way. "Dude, back the hell up. That prey is mine." Thwack.

Why some angry octopuses punch fishwww.youtube.com


If we want to get a bit more scientific about it, octopuses are known to hunt collaboratively with fish so that they can cover more area and increase their chances of catching something. In a new report published in Ecology, scientists describe how one kind of octopus in particular, the big blue octopus (also known as day octopus), seems to express displeasure with their hunting partners by randomly lashing out, using "a swift, explosive motion with one arm." Or in other words, punching.

That's the word the scientists actually use. Punching. Yay, science.

It seems that the humor is just inherent in the visuals. Eduardo Sampaio, one of the study authors and a Ph.D. student at the University of Lisbon, found it hilarious when he first observed the behavior from the cephalopods he was studying. "I laughed out loud, and almost choked on my own regulator," he told Live Science in an email.

It might seem like the most logical explanation is that the octopus is simply knocking the fish away from the prey it wants. Sampaio explained that that is what some scenarios indicate.

"Despite collaborating, each partner will always try to maximize its benefits," he told Live Science. "In the cases where prey is readily available, the octopus seems to use 'punching' as a way to control the partner's behavior in a self-serving way."

However, the researchers also observed that there were instances where there didn't seem to be any benefit to the octopus to punch the fish. More research is needed to figure out what that's all about, but that's where the "spite" speculation comes in.

It is quite something to witness—the octopus and fish swimming along nicely together when all of a sudden one of those tentacled arms flies out and punches a fish out of nowhere. It's also fun to speculate whether the octopus is just being a big old bully or if that fish actually deserved it.

We can come up with whole storylines for why Mr. Octopus feels justified in sucker-punching his partner. Maybe the octopus is in a bad mood and the fish is just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe the little guy is just super needy and hovering, and it's the octopus's way of saying, "Back off. Just because we work together doesn't mean we're gonna be friends."

Octopuses are, after all, one of the most intelligent animals on earth. My guess is if they're punching the creatures they're working with, they probably have a good reason for it.

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Scientists gave a camera to an octopus, and she only needed 3 tries to learn to use it.

How does an octopus say "cheese"?

Presumably it sounds like a muffled underwater version of "Silly humans, bow down to your cephalopod overlords," but I can't say that we'll ever know for sure.

What we do know for sure is that an octopus named Rambo has mastered the art of the f-stop and is now selling her own original photographs to visitors at the New Zealand aquarium she calls home.

"Lights! Camera! Tentacle!" GIF via Sony New Zealand/YouTube.

Like many talented artists, this eight-armed savant is, erm, also a bit of a diva.

"On day two, she pulled the camera off, ripped it up, smashed it to bits and spat it out,"behaviorist Mark Vette recalled. "We realized how powerful she was."

They went through a dozen iterations of the camera case before they settled on one that was strong enough to withstand her tentacled fury. (That's also how she got her name.)

"What is this cheap plastic crap? They don't make cameras like they used to." GIF via One News/TV New Zealand.

Fortunately, Rambo's creative endeavor is sponsored by Sony, who happily provided her with a new TX30 camera in the aftermath of her artistic outburst. You can even check out a whole gallery of her work on their Facebook page, allowing you'll have to forgive the occasional stray tentacle sneaking into the frame.

(In other words: Yes, this was originally part of a cross-promotional marketing opportunity, but that doesn't make it any less cool.)

"Make love to the camera, baby, yes, that's right. You're a natural!" GIF from Sony New Zealand/YouTube.

Rambo's not the only pictorially inclined marine mollusk either.

In March 2015, an octopus at Middlebury College turned the lens on his scientific observers. A digital media producer at the school visited a neuroscience laboratory where students were studying the clever creature. Mostly, they wanted to know if an octopus could learn by observing the actions of other octopuses.

But when they placed a GoPro in his tank, the octopus decided to turn things around and observe his own observers.

"No photos 'til I've had my coffee." GIF via Benjamin Savard/The Washington Post.

"I was just trying to brainstorm different ideas of how to show off the kind of unique research that's going on here and in ways that would be engaging," one of the students told The Washington Post. "I think the octopus's timing was great. I was just in the right place at the right time."

This all begs the question: How do octopuses even see?!

The obvious answer is, of course, with their eyes. Which is true. Ish. But like most things involving octopuses, the answer is much weirder and much more fascinating than that.

Unlike us lowly humans with our feeble brains that serve as central processing stations for our entire fragile bodies, octopus tentacles are capable of functioning as their own independent nervous systems. That's right: Each of those squirmy limbs with the suckers on the bottom basically have a mind of their own.

"Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful." GIF via Sony New Zealand/YouTube.

And just beneath the surface of the skin, those writhing minds are covered in cells called chromatophores, each of which is kind of like its own little painter's palette. These chromatophores can change color, which is how the octopus camouflages itself to lash out at unsuspecting passersby.

But they also contain opsins, the same light-sensitive proteins that are found in eye retinas. Which basically means that octopus skin can sense light and color without any help from the creature's brain.

That's right, they "see" with their freakin' tentacles!

"Oh no! The humans are catching on to us! Must escape!" GIF via Sony New Zealand/YouTube.

Honestly it's not entirely clear just how clever this specific photo-taking endeavor really is. But still!

Rambo was trained, like animals often are, using a food reward system. And her subjects all stand in a designated photobooth, within the range of the stationary camera. Obviously she's helped along by that handy autofocus feature, too — although that shouldn't necessarily be a slight against her intelligence, considering that most humans rely on that as well.

"What is 'art,' anyway? What does it truly mean to see, or to express oneself? Is art driven by intention, or the manifestation of the subconscious?" — a philosophtopus, probably. GIF via One News/TV New Zealand.

But that shouldn't detract from the fact that octopuses are weird, complicated, fascinating creatures, and we should consider ourselves lucky to share this wonderful planet alongside them.

Check out this behind-the-scenes video of Rambo the Octographer at work:

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