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Mom reacts perfectly to daughter who disinvited a friend from a trip because of her weight

She didn’t want the girl to “ruin” her photos of the trip.

via Cottonboro Studios/Pexels

A mother confronts her daughter for judging her friend's weight.

A 42-year-old mother wondered whether she did the right thing by disciplining her 18-year-old daughter, Abby, who disinvited a friend from vacation because of her weight. The mother asked people on Reddit for their opinion.

For some background, Abby had struggled with her weight for many years, so she went to her mother for help. The two set up a program where Abby was given a reward for every milestone she achieved.

“Four months ago, she asked that I don't get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK,” the mother wrote.

So, instead of a series of small gifts, Abbey wanted one large one, a vacation with two of her friends. The vacation would also celebrate Abby’s 18th birthday. The mother agreed and booked the trip for the 3 girls.

“Fast forward to last weekend, we started preparing for her vacation,” the mother wrote. “I called the other two girls' parents to confirm the girls would be and learned Abby's best friend Betty isn't going. Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation, so I asked why. Apparently, Abby uninvited her because ‘she is too chubby to look good in pictures.’”

When the mother approached Abby about the situation, she doubled down on her comments to Betty. “I calmly talked to Abby and reminded her how Betty would feel being left out for such a reason, and she went off with, 'I didn't work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined,'" the mother wrote.

Abby then asked Betty to contact her mom and say that she decided not to go on the trip because she wasn’t feeling well. Betty refused to lie, and Abby sent her a “ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults.” Betty shared screenshots of the texts to the mother, and she promptly canceled the entire vacation.

Now, Abby’s father, who shares 50-50 custody with the mother, is livid, and Abby won’t speak to the mother. The mom asked the Reddit AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong, and the commenters overwhelmingly said she did the right thing. "Some of my friends agree on my approach, while others think I should have put my daughter first,” the mother said.

The most popular commenter was short and to the point.

"Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first," Due_Laugh_3851 wrote. "I commend your strength and parenting skills. This was the right thing to do and would've been hard to do. Well done, you deserve to go on the holiday yourself," Loud_Wallaby737 added.

"... uninviting someone because you only want skinny people in your pictures is a disgusting attitude frankly. Sorry, I just don't find a nicer word for it. I am totally with you that this needs to have consequences, and while I'm very much against breaking promises, I do believe this is an exception. Like you said, your daughter knows what it feels like. She (but anyone really) should be supportive of friends wanting to lose weight if that is the case and if it isn't they she should just mind her own business body," SensitiveSires wrote.

One of the few people who thought she was in the wrong believed that the mother set her daughter up for failure.

"[You're wrong] for giving your daughter who is a child rewards for weight loss. Her behavior of value based on weight shows she likely has developed disordered eating patterns and attitudes and this will cause her a lifetime of pain," tamtheprogram wrote.

The silver lining to the story is that many people who commented said that even though her daughter did something very hurtful, she’s still a teenager and there’s a chance she’ll realize the error of her ways.

"The daughter is just a teenager, she still has a lot of time to learn and grow up. Writing off her entire future as a mean girl when it’s very rare to be the same exact person you were at 18 as you grow up is a lot," Stephapeaz wrote.


This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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Woman who went from a size 18 to a size 6 gets candid about her newfound 'skinny privilege'

"When I speak, people tend to listen more."

@megmackenzies/TikTok

“Skinny privilege is a thing, and even I find myself taking advantage of it.”

There are many different types of social privilege. We most often talk about the privilege associated with class, race or sex, but the inherent advantages of being thin are certainly substantial as well.

Take a 3-second scroll through your social media platform of choice, and you’ll see the endless messages—both insidious and overt—that glorify thin and/or muscular bodies while shaming other body types. Having a body that is celebrated by society offers benefits like respectability, kindness and even better health care. That is thin privilege, aka skinny privilege, in a nutshell.

And if there’s any doubt as to whether or not this privilege exists, take it from those who have lost weight and were suddenly treated differently (read: better).

Meg Stier, an actress and motivational speaker based in New York, is one of those people. Stier recently got candid about all the unexpected changes that came after she went from a size 18 to a size 6 in a video posted to her TikTok.

And while Stier noted that this was “not an attack on skinny people,” adding that they have their own problems too, her stance was clear that—at least in her own experience—skinny privilege definitely exists, and we need to talk about it.

@megmackenzies Anyone else experince these things? #bodyacceptance #nyc #bodypositivity #performer #lifestyle #weightloss ♬ original sound - Meg Mackenzies

The list included conveniences like being able to find her size in any store to being shown more basic human decency, like people looking her in the eye when they speak to her and actually listening when she speaks.

Even her career “took off” the moment she lost weight. “I didn’t suddenly become more talented, smarter or better at my job,” she said. “I just looked different.”

In fact, Stier can now make the same lifestyle choices she made when she was larger without outside judgment, simply because she looks different.

“Nobody judges when I order a cheeseburger or a salad. I can literally eat whatever I want in public, and nobody thinks twice about it” she revealed. She can also go to the gym without people giving her sympathetic looks.

“People considered me unmotivated, unhealthy, and in general just lazy because I was bigger. Those are three words that no one would use to describe me now, and my lifestyle really hasn't changed that much," she said.

“There’s a serious bias against fat people, and unless you’ve lived on both sides of the spectrum it’s hard to fully grasp what that means,” she concluded. “Skinny privilege is a thing, and even I find myself taking advantage of it.”

Stier is not alone in her experience. Her video received a ton of comments from other people who had lost weight and were treated better because of it. Some even shared the congratulations they got after losing weight due to illness.

Not only that, but there are literally thousands of videos on TikTok under the hashtags #skinnyprivilege and #thinprivilege reflecting similar stories, all attesting that it is in fact a real thing. Many even reflected on what it was like to gain some weight back and return to being “invisible.”

@itsmekelsc Today I chose the sassy life 💁🏼‍♀️ but it had to be said. The difference in treatment from strangers is WILD #weightbias #obesitybias #skinnyprivledge #obesity #weightloss #weightlossjourney #pcos #pcosawareness #mounjaro #ozempic ♬ original sound - Kelsey ✨

As with all forms of societal privilege, addressing the issue starts with spreading awareness. Social media might add to the problem with the way it often sells the idea of thinness and beauty as status enhancers, but it can also be a great tool in ending stigma as well. Conservations like the one Stier and others are having helps us take a closer look at our own beliefs and hopefully challenge them.

We’ve already seen the ways challenging the status quo can create actual change. The exploitative nature of capitalism aside, think about all the brands that have adapted to a more diverse, inclusive beauty standard due to real people taking a stand. Think of how much more body neutrality is a part of our collective mindset than it was only a few short years ago. Clearly, we still have ways to go, but part of progress is getting real with what’s in front of us.

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Jessica Simpson is pushing back on praise for 'snapping back' after pregnancy weight gain

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The process of getting your body to return to normal after delivering a baby can take time.

Most bodies don't just "snap back," and it can take from six to eight months for the average woman to feel mostly recovered from having a baby. It's also totally normal to retain weight after giving birth. Most women keep on 11 or more pounds. But there's still a stigma on postpartum bodies. As if the pressure that comes with having a newborn child isn't bad enough, women are also often pressured to make their bodies trim and slim faster than is medically safe.

When Jessica Simpson was pregnant with her third child, Birdie Mae, she was open about the changes in her body. Simpson would post photos of her swelling belly and swollen feet on Instagram.

RELATED: Here are the ways your body changes when you're pregnant that nobody talks about

Simpson was delightfully honest, saying she weighed 240 pounds. She even posted a photo of the toilet seat she broke, because that's something What to Expect When You're Expecting conveniently leaves out.

After Simpson gave birth to Birdie Mae in 2019, she continued to be open and honest about her postpartum experiences. Simpson posted photos of her workouts. "I am working really hard right now," she told People at the time. "It's not easy at all, but I am determined to feel good. I have been doing a lot of walking — getting my steps in not only burns calories but it also helps me clear my head and get focused."

Six months after giving birth, she posted a posted a photo of her body after losing 100 pounds of baby weight. Commenters on Instagram praised Simpson for "snapping back."

RELATED: James Van Der Beek's pregnancy announcement casually helps destigmatize miscarriages

In her new book, Open Book, Simpson reveals that she didn't post photos of her body to get compliments for snapping back. "Even now, people [are] commenting on my Instagram, 'Oh, snap back?' No, it wasn't a snap back and I don't even know what that word means," Simpson wrote in Open Book. "It's like, I work hard and when I work out, a lot of it is to release anxiety. That's one of my tools for sobriety. Just walking, just going and talking, walking and talking with my husband. Even some of my biggest fans…They're saying it as a compliment, but it's like, that's not what I was trying to get with this picture but okay."

Ultimately, Simpson is glad that extra weight doesn't carry as much weight as it used to. "I just thank God times are changing a little bit and people are standing up for themselves and making it not all about body image. I can hopefully be part of the change that my daughters grow up in a world where she can accept herself at any size," Simpson wrote.

Having a healthy postpartum body is more important than having a skinny postpartum body, and it's refreshing to see more and more celebrities acknowledge that.

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Forever 21 facing backlash from plus-size customers who received diet bars with their online orders

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Fat shaming has never been in style, and yet, the fashion industry seems to have it on lock.

Many Forever 21 customers have reported they've received samples of Atkins' new line of lemon bars with their plus-sized clothing orders. The bars are touted as a way to "treat yourself without worrying about your carb count." Yikes.

Needless to say, the free sample did notgo over well. Many customers feel as if the fast fashion retailer is trying to subtly tell them they need to lose weight.

RELATED: Macy's pulls plates from their stores for sending a 'toxic message'



Forever 21 responded, saying they aren't trying to target people who ordered plus-sized clothes. Everyone got the Atkins bar samples, and they're in fact not trying to tell people, "Hey, you could really stand to lose a few pounds." The retailer has since apologized for including the bar in their shipments.

"From time to time, Forever 21 surprises our customers with free test products from third parties in their e-commerce orders. The freebie items in question were included in all online orders, across all sizes and categories, for a limited time and have since been removed," Forever 21 said in a statement, per Buzzfeed News. "This was an oversight on our part and we sincerely apologize for any offense this may have caused to our customers, as this was not our intention in any way."

RELATED: Man exposes the absurdity of sexist marketing by creating shirts that label men like we do women

Regardless, it's still not a good look. The presence of the bar insinuates there's something wrong with the customer – regardless of their size. Opening a box to find a diet bar is going to make people feel like trash about their figure, even if there's nothing wrong with them.

We love the fun of getting surprised with free samples with our clothes, but Forever 21 should think harder about what they include next time.

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