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Mom reacts perfectly to daughter who disinvited a friend from a trip because of her weight

She didn’t want the girl to “ruin” her photos of the trip.

via Cottonboro Studios/Pexels

A mother confronts her daughter for judging her friend's weight.

A 42-year-old mother wondered whether she did the right thing by disciplining her 18-year-old daughter, Abby, who disinvited a friend from vacation because of her weight. The mother asked people on Reddit for their opinion.

For some background, Abby had struggled with her weight for many years, so she went to her mother for help. The two set up a program where Abby was given a reward for every milestone she achieved.

“Four months ago, she asked that I don't get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK,” the mother wrote.

So, instead of a series of small gifts, Abbey wanted one large one, a vacation with two of her friends. The vacation would also celebrate Abby’s 18th birthday. The mother agreed and booked the trip for the 3 girls.

“Fast forward to last weekend, we started preparing for her vacation,” the mother wrote. “I called the other two girls' parents to confirm the girls would be and learned Abby's best friend Betty isn't going. Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation, so I asked why. Apparently, Abby uninvited her because ‘she is too chubby to look good in pictures.’”

When the mother approached Abby about the situation, she doubled down on her comments to Betty. “I calmly talked to Abby and reminded her how Betty would feel being left out for such a reason, and she went off with, 'I didn't work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined,'" the mother wrote.

Abby then asked Betty to contact her mom and say that she decided not to go on the trip because she wasn’t feeling well. Betty refused to lie, and Abby sent her a “ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults.” Betty shared screenshots of the texts to the mother, and she promptly canceled the entire vacation.

Now, Abby’s father, who shares 50-50 custody with the mother, is livid, and Abby won’t speak to the mother. The mom asked the Reddit AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong, and the commenters overwhelmingly said she did the right thing. "Some of my friends agree on my approach, while others think I should have put my daughter first,” the mother said.

The most popular commenter was short and to the point.

"Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first," Due_Laugh_3851 wrote. "I commend your strength and parenting skills. This was the right thing to do and would've been hard to do. Well done, you deserve to go on the holiday yourself," Loud_Wallaby737 added.

"... uninviting someone because you only want skinny people in your pictures is a disgusting attitude frankly. Sorry, I just don't find a nicer word for it. I am totally with you that this needs to have consequences, and while I'm very much against breaking promises, I do believe this is an exception. Like you said, your daughter knows what it feels like. She (but anyone really) should be supportive of friends wanting to lose weight if that is the case and if it isn't they she should just mind her own business body," SensitiveSires wrote.

One of the few people who thought she was in the wrong believed that the mother set her daughter up for failure.

"[You're wrong] for giving your daughter who is a child rewards for weight loss. Her behavior of value based on weight shows she likely has developed disordered eating patterns and attitudes and this will cause her a lifetime of pain," tamtheprogram wrote.

The silver lining to the story is that many people who commented said that even though her daughter did something very hurtful, she’s still a teenager and there’s a chance she’ll realize the error of her ways.

"The daughter is just a teenager, she still has a lot of time to learn and grow up. Writing off her entire future as a mean girl when it’s very rare to be the same exact person you were at 18 as you grow up is a lot," Stephapeaz wrote.


This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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Jessica Simpson is pushing back on praise for 'snapping back' after pregnancy weight gain

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The process of getting your body to return to normal after delivering a baby can take time.

Most bodies don't just "snap back," and it can take from six to eight months for the average woman to feel mostly recovered from having a baby. It's also totally normal to retain weight after giving birth. Most women keep on 11 or more pounds. But there's still a stigma on postpartum bodies. As if the pressure that comes with having a newborn child isn't bad enough, women are also often pressured to make their bodies trim and slim faster than is medically safe.

When Jessica Simpson was pregnant with her third child, Birdie Mae, she was open about the changes in her body. Simpson would post photos of her swelling belly and swollen feet on Instagram.

RELATED: Here are the ways your body changes when you're pregnant that nobody talks about

Simpson was delightfully honest, saying she weighed 240 pounds. She even posted a photo of the toilet seat she broke, because that's something What to Expect When You're Expecting conveniently leaves out.

After Simpson gave birth to Birdie Mae in 2019, she continued to be open and honest about her postpartum experiences. Simpson posted photos of her workouts. "I am working really hard right now," she told People at the time. "It's not easy at all, but I am determined to feel good. I have been doing a lot of walking — getting my steps in not only burns calories but it also helps me clear my head and get focused."

Six months after giving birth, she posted a posted a photo of her body after losing 100 pounds of baby weight. Commenters on Instagram praised Simpson for "snapping back."

RELATED: James Van Der Beek's pregnancy announcement casually helps destigmatize miscarriages

In her new book, Open Book, Simpson reveals that she didn't post photos of her body to get compliments for snapping back. "Even now, people [are] commenting on my Instagram, 'Oh, snap back?' No, it wasn't a snap back and I don't even know what that word means," Simpson wrote in Open Book. "It's like, I work hard and when I work out, a lot of it is to release anxiety. That's one of my tools for sobriety. Just walking, just going and talking, walking and talking with my husband. Even some of my biggest fans…They're saying it as a compliment, but it's like, that's not what I was trying to get with this picture but okay."

Ultimately, Simpson is glad that extra weight doesn't carry as much weight as it used to. "I just thank God times are changing a little bit and people are standing up for themselves and making it not all about body image. I can hopefully be part of the change that my daughters grow up in a world where she can accept herself at any size," Simpson wrote.

Having a healthy postpartum body is more important than having a skinny postpartum body, and it's refreshing to see more and more celebrities acknowledge that.

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Forever 21 facing backlash from plus-size customers who received diet bars with their online orders

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Fat shaming has never been in style, and yet, the fashion industry seems to have it on lock.

Many Forever 21 customers have reported they've received samples of Atkins' new line of lemon bars with their plus-sized clothing orders. The bars are touted as a way to "treat yourself without worrying about your carb count." Yikes.

Needless to say, the free sample did notgo over well. Many customers feel as if the fast fashion retailer is trying to subtly tell them they need to lose weight.

RELATED: Macy's pulls plates from their stores for sending a 'toxic message'



Forever 21 responded, saying they aren't trying to target people who ordered plus-sized clothes. Everyone got the Atkins bar samples, and they're in fact not trying to tell people, "Hey, you could really stand to lose a few pounds." The retailer has since apologized for including the bar in their shipments.

"From time to time, Forever 21 surprises our customers with free test products from third parties in their e-commerce orders. The freebie items in question were included in all online orders, across all sizes and categories, for a limited time and have since been removed," Forever 21 said in a statement, per Buzzfeed News. "This was an oversight on our part and we sincerely apologize for any offense this may have caused to our customers, as this was not our intention in any way."

RELATED: Man exposes the absurdity of sexist marketing by creating shirts that label men like we do women

Regardless, it's still not a good look. The presence of the bar insinuates there's something wrong with the customer – regardless of their size. Opening a box to find a diet bar is going to make people feel like trash about their figure, even if there's nothing wrong with them.

We love the fun of getting surprised with free samples with our clothes, but Forever 21 should think harder about what they include next time.

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Equality

An inspiring couple shows off the success of working together for healthy weight loss.

via Fat Girl Fed Up

According to US News & World Report, over 80% of people fail at their New Year's resolutions by February.

Author and clinical psychologist Joseph Luciani says it's because we eventually lose motivation and that outside-in solutions rarely work unless we've changed on the inside.

"Unless you first change your mind, don't expect your health goals to materialize," Luciani says. "As the saying goes, it's not the horse that draws the cart, it's the oats. It's not the gym, Pilates class or diet that will change you – it's your mind."

Lexi and Danny Reed, newlyweds from Indiana clearly changed their collective minds and it resulted in the couple losing a combined 400 pounds. It all started on New Year's Day in 2017.

"We had no idea exactly how we were going to lose the weight or if we would make it - but we were determined to try," Lexi wrote. "We knew that together anything was possible."

In just one year and six months, 500-pound Lexi lost 303 pounds because she fell in love with taking care of herself.

"I found the secret to weight loss was working hard in the gym 5x a week for 30 mins or moving more," she wrote on Instagram. "I found that I could take the unhealthy foods I loved and make them into healthy versions. I found that by focusing on each day not the 300+lbs I had to lose the days added up & I was making progress."

The couple's love for one another helped them achieve their goals.

"I am forever grateful for the way he's loved me no matter what size and never asked me to change," Lexi wrote on Instagram. He treated me the same exact way when I was heavy that he does not that I'm healthy. When I agreed to be his wife I agreed to spending the rest of my life with him and I'm so glad we have lost 392 lbs together and gained many years to do just that."

After her stunning weight loss, Lexi began sharing the inspiring photos of her and her husband's journey on an Instagram page called Fat Girl Fed Up and it's earned over a million followers.

Earlier this year, Lexi had to have surgery to remove painful excess skin on her body.

The couple's dramatic transformation shows just how powerful it is when people support one another in their goals. It's a good reminder to take a look at the people in our lives and ask if they are helping us become the person we want to be or are they holding us back.

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