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pride month

Identity

Harry Styles stops in the middle of concert to help a fan come out

Fans have been using his shows to come out since 2018.

commons.wikimedia.org

Harry Styles makes his concerts safe spaces to come out.

Coming out can be an emotionally fraught process. Even when you're secure in your queerness, there's still a sense of fear and hesitation. Because it's so emotional, people sometimes choose an unconventional way to do it. That includes coming out in an unlikely place … like a Harry Styles concert. Yes, this has happened more than once.

Most recently, a fan of Styles used the singer's help to come out as gay during the Love On Tour 2022 stop at London's Wembley Stadium.

In a clip posted to Twitter, Styles picks up a cardboard sign that had been thrown onto the stage.

"From Ono to Wembley: help me come out," the sign reads.

"So you would like the people of Wembley to bring you out?" Styles asks, a smile on his face. You can tell he's done this before, and that he's genuinely excited to do it again.

"When this sign," he begins, but returns the sign to the fan and picks up a Pride flag.

"When this flag goes over my head, you're officially gay, my boy," he says with a proud smile on his face. Of course, the crowd begins to cheer.

Styles runs back and forth waving the flag, but hesitates before raising it over his head, joking, "still straight!" before he continues to run. Then he stops, raises the flag in the air while throwing his head back triumphantly.

"Congratulations, Mattia, you are a free man!" Styles screams as the crowd roars.

Styles then takes another minute to revel in what has just happened. It's obvious he takes his role of helping fans come out seriously. There's a level of trust and care between Styles and his fans underpinning what everyone has just witnessed.

Being in the audience of a Harry Styles concert when a fan comes out is both intimate and big. People make the choice to do it knowing their declaration will become a YouTube video or news article by the next morning, and that never seems to scare them. It seems that there's something liberating about coming out to thousands of strangers.

As a longtime Harry Styles fan, I've seen this happen in real life. During the Los Angeles dates of Love On Tour 2021, I attended two shows where fans used the concert as an opportunity to come out. Styles asked each fan if they had an item they wanted him to hold to signal their official outing. He then ran around the stage building the anticipation until the glorious moment the item was lifted over his head and the crowd erupted. It was an honor to be part of such a life-changing moment.

Styles isn't a stranger to helping his fans come out during one of his concerts. In 2018, during a tour stop in San Jose, California, Styles helped another fan come out.

"I'm going to come out to my parents because of you," says the sign Styles reads to the audience. Although the parents weren't in attendance (they were in a nearby hotel), Styles still took the opportunity to help.

"I'm going to tell Tina before you get a chance to," he said.

"Tina, she's gay!" he yells, before telling the young woman that her mom "says" that she loves her. The video has become a bit of an inside joke among fans, but proves that he has always been willing to provide a safe space for his fans.

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Inclusivity

A Texas bakery faced a backlash for its Pride-themed cookies. But then the allies showed up.

via Confections / Facebook

Confections, a bakery in the small town of Lufkin, Texas, is a wonderful example of why hate is no match for the power of acceptance, pride, and love.

Confections posted an innocuous photo of Pride-themed cookies on its Facebook page on Wednesday with the positive message of "More LOVE. Less hate. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQ friends! All lovers of cookies and happiness are welcome here."


But evidently, some are bothered by the idea of having "less hate" so a "significant" number of followers disliked Confections' Facebook page after the post. One customer went so far as to cancel a large order of five-dozen summer-themed cookies that had already been baked.

The small business was going to have to take a loss on the large order if no one stepped up to purchase the cookies.

"My heart is heavy," one of the owners wrote on Facebook. "Honestly I never thought a post that literally said more love less hate would result in this kind of backlash to a very small business that is struggling to stay afloat and spread a little cheer through baked goods."

After the small business made the post, the internet got wind of it and the summer-themed cookies were sold out immediately. Then, a line quickly formed around the block and the massive influx of customers cleaned out every shelf in the business.

But it didn't stop there, the next day it happened again. So, the store began baking more LGBTQ-themed cookies and its shelves were cleaned out again. When there was nothing left to purchase, customers pre-ordered cookies to send to nursing homes and civic events.

Others sent direct donations to the shop that the owners are going to send to local animal shelters.

The response has been overwhelming for the shop's owners Dawn and Miranda and their baker Felicia.

"In the 11 years we've been open we've never seen anything quite like this," Dawn wrote, adding they "are just so humbled and grateful and moved by this outpouring of love."

On Sunday, the store reported that it was hard at work making rainbow bows to celebrate Pride and baking the nursing home orders.

One Facebook commenter perfectly summed up the overwhelming reaction to Confections' story. "For every nasty and hateful person, there are 2,500 or more that are amazing and loving," Kimberly Gonzalez wrote.

"Your shop looks amazing and the hate and heartache you experienced was for a purpose," she added. "It brings me so much joy that you are receiving this amount of support. Keep doing what you love and supporting who you want. You are all amazing people and wish you all the prosperity for you and your business."

One of the most important aspects of Pride Month is visibility, but that's not limited to members of the LGBTQ community. It's a month for everyone who supports them to renew their commitment to visibility as well. For some, that's showing up to a Pride parade, for others, it's supporting allied businesses.

The story of Confections bakery is a wonderful example of Pride in action.



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Heroes

After harassing people celebrating Pride their boat burst into flames. Guess who saved them?

Cosmic Robbie/Twitter

Harassing people is gross, no matter who they are. Harassing people who are flying rainbow flags expressing support for LGBTQIA+ people is particularly gross, considering the fact they are advocating for basic civil rights and human dignity. And evidently, harassing people who are flying Pride flags while boating is egregiously gross enough to piss off Poseidon and bring the heavy hammer of karma down upon your heads.

Or maybe it's just a coincidence. Either way, this story shows that bigotry is no match for being the bigger person and that even if it ends up being a one-way street, caring about the well-being of our fellow humans is always the right thing to do.

While boating in Moses Lake, Washington last weekend, a group of boaters flying Pride flags found themselves confronted by three people in another boat. At first, they thought perhaps the boaters were coming up to express support for their rainbow flags, but it soon became apparent that wasn't the case. As the boat circled around them, one of the passengers gave the Pride-flag flyers the middle finger, and the boaters allegedly shouted gay slurs as well.

Then the bigots' boat caught fire and the people they were harassing ended up rescuing them after they jumped ship.

The story was told by Robbie on Twitter, who shared photos and video of the incident as well as issuing a statement to The Washington Post.

Robbie, a queer trans man who has withheld his name for fear of retaliation, told The Post that his family had spent the day swimming and tubing on the lake and stopped their boat around 7:00pm. A small vessel sped toward them, then circled around them at least six times, with the woman on the boat flipping them off and yelling something about "gays" and "flags."

When the boat driver noticed that Robbie's brother had started filming them, he tried to hide his face and drove away. Moments later, a loud bang came from the boat, and a plume of black smoke rose into the air.

"Holy crap!" said Robbie's brother. "They blew up!" Then he drove toward the boaters who were swimming away from their burning boat and brought them aboard.

Of course, having your boat catch on fire in the middle of a lake is a terrible thing to have happen. Some might say it's as terrible as having people going out of their way to harass you in the middle of a lake. Karma works in interesting ways.

It would be lovely to be able to share that the harassers had a wake-up call and apologized for their horrible behavior, but alas, they did not.

"The passengers were quite rude, shouting over us, ignoring my [inquiries] about their well-being when on the 911 call and smoking a Vape pen on our boat without even so much as asking if they could; several passengers of our boat have asthma," Robbie told The Post.

Police came to put out the fire, and the bigoted boaters' friends came to pick them up. When they left, they didn't even say 'Thank you" for the rescue.

But there was this little karmic detail to balance out the bad behavior.

Some people have said they just wouldn't have even helped them, while others have pointed out that boaters are required to help boaters in distress as long as it doesn't put their own vessel or passengers in danger. (Which of course begs the question—was it safe for Robbie and family to bring blatantly anti-gay bigots onto their boat?) Regardless, Robbie wrote on Twitter that the boaters were truly hurt and they felt bad for them. Helping them was simply the right thing to do, no matter how they acted before or responded after.

Robbie shared another Tweet two days later showing that they were not going to let the haters get them down.

"Happy Pride Wrath Month!"

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Inclusivity

'Everyone is Awesome': Lego is celebrating Pride month with its first LGBTQIA+ themed set

via Lego

For the first time in Lego's 72-year history, it's releasing an official LGBTQIA+ pride set. The new set comes out just in time for Pride Month, starting June 1.

The new set is inspired by the classic rainbow pride flag and features 11 monochrome figurines that match the color in the flag. The set is called "Everyone is Awesome," which was inspired by the song "Everything is Awesome" from "The Lego Movie" soundtrack.

"I wanted to create a model that symbolizes inclusivity and celebrates everyone, no matter how they identify or who they love," the set's designer, Matthew Ashton, said in a statement Thursday.

via Lego

The Lego set has personal meaning for Ashton who is a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

"If I had been given this set by somebody after having come out, it would have been such a relief to know that somebody had my back," Ashton said. "To know that you've got someone there, to say 'I Love you, I believe in you. I'll always be there for you.'"

Lego believes that the set is a way for people to show their love, support, and acceptance for young members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Historically, researchers have thought that children begin to self-identify as LGBTQIA+ in their teen years, however, new research says that it often happens as early as age nine.

A 2018 study found that 1% of 9 and 10-year old children surveyed self-identified as gay, bisexual or transgender. Nearly 7% of parents, when asked about the sexual identity of their children, reported their child might be gay and 1.2% reported that their child might be transgender.

A recent study published by Gallup found that 5.6% of American adults identify as members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

It's important for families to send a strong message of support for their LGBTQIA+ kids. Young LGBTQIA+ people have a much higher rate of suicide than cisgender kids, especially when they lack sufficient support from their families.

via Lego

Giving a child a Pride-themed Lego set may also be a way to initiate an important conversation about sexuality.

"Having LGBT-inclusive toys creates a space for families to let LGBT children know that they are loved and accepted," Joe Nellist, from the U.K.'s LGBT Foundation, told CNN.

"Growing up in a world which often tells you there is something 'wrong' with you can lead to a person developing a deep sense of shame — something we know can have a long-lasting impact on both mental and physical health," Nellist added.

But the set isn't just for young people. There is a growing community of adults that love to build with Legos and this set is a great way for them to show their pride, too.

The Lego set includes the classic rainbow colors first introduced by Gilbert Baker in 1978 and includes the subsequent additions of black and brown for people of color as well as white, pink, and blue for transgender and queer people.

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