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I'm still a closeted, queer woman. This is what pride means to me

I'm still a closeted, queer woman. This is what pride means to me
Photo by Jose Pablo Garcia on Unsplash

Editor's Note: Raleigh Van Ness is a pseudonym used by Upworthy in order to protect the anonymity of the author.

It's hard to pinpoint the moment I knew I was queer. Growing up, I knew I was different. I liked boys because I was told I should like boys. I chased Chris for a kiss in Kindergarten on a whim and a dare—not out of any true want or desire. In fifth grade, I dated Brandon for his ball cap. It was a status symbol. It got me clout with the hip kids—the cool kids, you know, the girls who wore cropped sweaters and acid-wash jeans. While I had a steady stream of boyfriends in middle school, I did so to appear normal. To be normal. Plus, I couldn't possibly go to the Halloween dance alone, so I didn't.

I held Tyler's shoulders and swayed to Savage Garden.

Terrance sang every word of Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You" in my ear.

But the truth is my eyes weren't for them, not at 10, 12 or 17. I was—and always have been—attracted to women.

The first girl I recall liking was my best friend, Kathlyn. She was a sweet girl. A kind and loving girl. She was also beyond smart. The bookish type. Her long, brown locks regularly covered her eyes. But there was something about her gap teeth and freckled skin that enticed me. It entranced me. I wanted to be more than good friends.

I began having fantasies which would make you blush and would make my mother ashamed.

In high school, I scoured the scenes of scrambled porn—which, for those unaware, is how kids watched X-rated films in the pre-internet days—for curved lips and hips. For breasts and bare buttocks. I became obsessed with women's reactions and the sight of their satisfaction. I wanted to know that feeling. I wanted to share it with another.

On occasion, I've flirted with my desires. I've kissed and caressed some amazing women in my life, but no one knows it. Well, besides a few drunken college encounters caught on camera. But no one knows it because I am living a double life.

I am married to a man.

I am not alone. According to the Williams Institute at UCLA, 4% of adults in the United States identify as lesbian, gay, transgender or bisexual. This means there are approximately 9 million LGBTQ individuals in America, and many more live like me, in silence and in secret. While living in the closet can be isolating—scratch that: it can be upsetting, enraging and (some days) it fills me with shame—during Pride Month, I am humbled. I am thankful. I am accepted and understood.

You see, when I see a rainbow banner or flag I smile shyly, coyly because I feel seen. Even though I am closeted, I feel a sense of community. I feel like I belong and I am understood.

During Pride Month, I feel I am able to celebrate myself completely. Fully. I've spent my whole life ashamed of who I am—of what it is I feel, want, need, who I love and what I deserve—but seeing others embrace LGBTQ individuals makes me love myself and embrace myself. Seeing others celebrate Pride makes me value myself.

Pride month reminds me of how far I've come. Sure, I haven't "come out" to my friends and family, but I have come out to myself, and that is worth celebrating. Acknowledging my true self is half the battle.

Pride makes me feel backed. Supported. Like I have a family and home.

I also feel an immense sense of gratitude during Pride. I am thankful for the voices of others. For the strength of others. For the fight of others, and hope one day I can join them. I hope one day I have the courage to be myself. Loud and proud.

Make no mistake: There are days I still struggle. I hate myself. I am angry with myself. I feel like a failure and a fraud. On these days, I convince myself I have no community. Until I am open and honest, I am neither straight or queer. But while closets hide things, they don't keep secrets. Silence does not take away my identity. I am a wife, mother, runner, and a writer.

I am also a proud queer woman.

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans 

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it. 

@binkythechichi2

The king of drama

♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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​Jessica Chastain says going back to school and learning how to negotiate has changed her life​

"We're in a time where it feels like no one is talking to each other."

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Jessica Chastain at the Berlin Film Festival.

Oscar-winning actress Jessica Chastain, known for her roles in Zero Dark Thirty, Interstellar and The Help, has decided to add a master's degree at Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government to her already impressive résumé.

Though she has a prestigious degree from The Julliard School, Chastain explains in an interview with E! News, "I just like to be challenged and learn and exercise my brain in a new way."

Classes that have really stood out to her include "statistics" and "negotiation." Of the latter, she shares, "The thing I love most about negotiation—we had a class about resolving conflict. And right now we're at a time when it feels like no one is talking to each other. There's so much division."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What she has learned from the class has been so applicable in today's times. "If you start from a place of agreement, no matter who you are, there's one thing that each party agrees on, right?" she says. "If we can start from there and give each other the benefit of the doubt that each side, each person, wants positivity for humanity."

She further explains that finding commonality helps people feel empathy. "If you give each other the benefit of the doubt and start with what you have in common, I think that's the only way we can get out of this mess we're in," she says.

Harvard's Katie Shonk writes about the importance of these skills. As part of the Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation, she writes in "The Top 10 Negotiating Skills You Must Learn to Succeed" that "the most effective bargainers are skilled at both creating value and claiming value—that is, they both collaborate and compete."

One tactic is to "build rapport," which echoes Chastain's views on finding something in common with whomever you're speaking with. Shonk shares, "You and your counterpart may be more collaborative and likely to reach an agreement if you spend even just a few minutes trying to get to know each other."

negotiations, communication, conflict resolution, Jessica Chastain A GIF from Surprised Seasons Giphy PBS

Another is "active listening." Again, this is recognizing the humanity in the other party, which can lead to compassion and positivity.

"Once you start discussing substance, resist the common urge to think about what you’re going to say next while your counterpart is talking," Shonk writes. "Instead, listen carefully to her arguments, then paraphrase what you believe she said to check your understanding. Acknowledge any difficult feelings, like frustration, behind the message. Not only are you likely to acquire valuable information, but the other party may mimic your exemplary listening skills."

In Psychology Today's "The Advantages of Open-Minded Negotiation," Kimberly Key writes, "Research shows that having an open mindset and facilitating trust while embracing genuine interest in the other person’s point of view works best. For instance, an open mindset results in listening and increased empathy, which, in turn, help to bring a person’s defensive wall down. When trust is established, muscles relax, and people can be engaged and more present with each other."

-Biggest predictor of how well a negotiation will go. www.youtube.com, Harvard Business Review

Negotiating, as is often traditionally thought of, is not a war. "The negotiation-as-a-fight mentality gets reinforced through cultural conditioning and biased training," Key writes.

Instead, as Chastain also eloquently suggests, come from a place of kindly relating to the other person.

"Positively relating to someone—even just an exchanged smile with a stranger—has been shown to decrease stress chemicals while increasing feel-good neurochemicals and immune factors," Key writes.

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30 musicians came out of nowhere on the streets of Paris and began performing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

Truly the most insane and inspiring flashmob EVER.

@juliencohen_pinao/TikTok

Oh to have been there to witness it IRL.

Just when you think you’ve heard every amazing "Bohemian Rhapsody” cover imaginable—from standout AGT performances to spontaneous crowd sing-alongs to haka renditions—this one literally comes out of nowhere. And it’s every bit as exciting, magical, profound, and inspiring as the OG.

On the streets of Paris, window shutters open to reveal three women clad in white who begin to sing, “Is this the real life…” in a way that can only be described as heavily Disney-coded. A pianist appears seemingly out of nowhere. Then another singer from another window. And another. Then, a blonde man in a horse drawn carriage comes down and belts out “Mama, just killed a man…” so good you just know it made Freddie Mercury smile wherever he is now.

Oh, and did we mention the 11-year-old who absolutely shreds a guitar solo??

These are just some of the 30, yes, 30 musicians and singers that came to deliver a truly epic flash mob performance of Queen’s signature rock ballad. Really, this was something between a flash mob and immersive theatre. Wow.

To say the clip has gone mega-viral would be an understatement. In under 24 hours, the clip has received over 30 million views across TikTok and Instagram. Of course, most viewers expressed more than a little FOMO.

“Could you imagine seeing this? Like omg I’d be freaking out.”

“This is tremendous, and I am so envious of those who witnessed it in real life.”

“Flash mob of healing vibes 😍”

“This right here is what Queen WANTED.”

Perhaps it should come as no surprise that Julien Cohen, the pianist in the video and mastermind behind this epic flash mob, was able to pull off such a once-in-a-lifetime collaboration. After all, his entire social media is dedicated to outstanding duets with talented musicians…many of which have also gone viral. And, if someone invites you to come to Paris to be part of a “Bohemian Rhapsody” flash mob, are you really gonna say no?!

Among the star studded line up are Michael Spence, aka Mickey Castillo (lead singer) and Olly Pearson (second guitar), both of whom competed on Britain’s Got Talent. Fittingly, Castillo often got compared to the late, great Freddie Mercury by BGT judges. Pearson also played Queen’s "Don't Stop Me Now" while on the show.

Other performers include:

DDKN: A French pop group consisting of sisters, Stella, Nounée, and Anouche, known for angelic harmonies. They were the first three singers.

Sone & Coline Sicre: Made up the pop choir near the piano.

Michaël Koné: The opera singer who belted out “I’m just a poor boy” and gave those amazing "Galileos."

Martin Pennec: Came out of nowhere with those drums.

Axel Thomas & Paul Pasmanian: On the second guitar and bass guitar.

And then there's the operatic choir, who really help bring Cohen’s artistic vision come to life (and Mercury's, for that matter):

Eeva Matilda

August Chevalier

Michel El Ghoul

Emmanuelle Jakubek

Dounia El Baaj

Lisa Chaïb-Auriol

Alessandra Rizzello

Lou Thomas

Lejeune Céleste

Chuck Pariton

Nicolae Hategan

Olga Vojnovic

Sara Paone

Shadi

Moonsy

Tirso Ramirez

David Lefort

Romain Jurmande

Aside from being such an auditory delight, part of what makes “Bohemian Rhapsody” so incredibly compelling is how it brings people together with connecting threads of pure, raw emotion. This group handled both those elements so well, and the result is not only a celebration of one of Queen’s most beloved works, but of humanity as a whole—how good it feels to create with one another, and to physically witness art being made. Truly, this could not have come at a better time.

@juliencohen_piano The most INSANE Bohemian Rhapsody Flashmob you will ever see!! With 30 musicians and singers in the streets of Paris 😍 Lead singer: @Mickey Callisto Lead guitar: @GuitarOlly First 3 singers: @✨ DDKN ✨ Pop choir: @ddkn.off @Sone and @coline sicre Counter-tenor solo: @michaelkonesaki Second guitar: @Axel Thomas ♬ son original - Julien Cohen


Excuse me…off to go listen to this for the 20th time.

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A Gen Zer used only tech from the 1990s for a week. Here's how he felt at the end.

"I want to step back into the digital world with some mindfulness."

Lucky Boy/YouTube

A Gen Zer goes back to the 90s for a week.

Those of us who are old enough to remember the '90s can recall how quickly it seemed like technology was moving at the time. Now that era seems quaint and slow in comparison, which has many people—even those who weren't alive then—yearning for those simpler times.

As convenient as modern smartphones, computers, and the like are, they've added layers of complexity and noise to our lives, prompting some people to question whether it's worth it. Even young people who have grown up immersed in digital screens are taking a step back and wondering what life would be like without modern tech.

cassette player, mixed tape, technology, 1990s, 1980s Technology has come a long way. Giphy

One Gen Zer, who goes by Lucky Boy, even went so far as to experiment with ditching all of his devices and only using technology from the 1990s for a week. No laptop, no iPad, no smartphone, no Kindle. No Spotify, no online gaming, no streaming movies. Just a Tamagotchi, an iMac computer (that ended up not working, forcing him to use pad of paper for his writing), a Sony Discman and CDs, books from the library, a TV/VCR combo (that also ended up not working), and a flip phone that was as close as he could get to a phone from the 90s that would still function.

"One of my goals this week has been to live more life," Lucky Boy said. "I feel like people in the '90s experienced more of life, whereas me, in 2024, I spend most of my day staring at a screen. The library, for example, is an experience of life that we've sort of eliminated because now we can just go online and order a new book or download it straight to our Kindle. We lose that real-world experience of searching through shelves of books, trying to find the one you're looking for, and so if everything we do becomes digital, we're no longer living life in the real world. And so I just want to disconnect from the modern internet world and try to live more in the real world."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Lucky Boy saved one piece of '90s tech for the end of the week, knowing he'd overuse it if he brought it out earlier: The Nintendo 64 with a Super Mario Bros. game included. Video games are video games, as anyone who spent hours playing Space Invaders on an Atari can attest, and Lucky Boy had a blast reliving his childhood with a lower-tech game.

So, how did going a week with only '90s tech affect him?

"It's honestly been a pretty good week," he said. "The lack of stimulation made the little things in life much more enjoyable. I could sit down for a meal with friends without feeling the urge to check my phone, and just sitting on a bench in nature, I was able to fully embrace the beautiful world we live in. Life has just felt simpler…I want to step back into the digital world with a little mindfulness so I can control technology before it controls me."

digital detox, hammock, relaxation, no phone, tech break We all need tech breaks once in a while. Giphy

It's good for all of us to take breaks from our screens sometimes, but most of us probably don't consider going back to a previous era's technology to do a digital detox. Millennials and Gen Zers seem to be turning that direction, however, with a collective affinity for all things analog. Record players, Polaroid cameras, AM/FM radios, cassette players, and "dumb phones" are all the rage with younger adults, and it's rather amusing to their Gen X and boomer parents.

On the one hand, the desire for slower tech and less digital overwhelm is great. On the other hand, anyone who trades in Spotify for a cassette player clearly never had to make a mixed tape from the radio while they were growing up. However, the sentiment is admirable, and it's refreshing to see young people recognizing the need to unplug and, as Lucky Boy says, "live more life" in the real world.

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Experts explain how confusing the word 'literally' is for non-English speakers

It's not the only word that has changed meaning over time, and it's literally exhausting.

Photo Credit: Canva

"Literally" literally doesn't mean literally anymore.

"Literally, I died. Dead. I'm dead. Literally. Omg, for real." This was overheard last week, and it wasn't said by a dead ghost. It was a very much alive 20-something woman wearing pink palazzo pants.

It's nothing new that people of all generations have their preferred vernacular. My Gen X folks often said "totally" and "like" as though they were going out of business, like ya know? People had to get used to it or we wouldn't be able to communicate.

"Literally" is one of those words that Gen Z has adopted, but they're not to blame for the fact that it's often misused. That has been going on for ages, and the complaint is almost a cliché at this point.

literally, gen z, rob lowe, language Rob Lowe in a scene from Parks And Recreation Giphy NBC Universal

First, let's trace the word back to its roots. In Latin, the word "littera" means "letter." The original meaning of "literally" was "to the letter," as in…exactly. In Pamela Rafalow Grossman's article in Reader's Digest, she writes: "This use was first recorded in 1429 in "Mirour of Mans Saluacioune", according to the Oxford English Dictionary."

Obviously, the word has been adapted over time to also mean "figuratively" as an exaggeration tool. This definition became so popular that even Merriam-Webster said uncle in 1909. Grossman continues, "The fact that literally is 'often used hyperbolically' was first mentioned in Merriam-Webster’s entry of the word in its 1909 unabridged dictionary." Their TikTok (and yes, Merriam-Webster has a TikTok page) even jokingly acknowledges it.

@merriamwebster

The “in effect; virtually” meaning of 'literally' is not a new sense. It has been in regular use since the 18th century and may be found in the writings of Mark Twain, Charlotte Brontë, James Joyce, and many others.

But imagine how confusing this might be for someone just learning English. On the BBC Learning English TikTok page, a guy named Tim simply asks, "Do you know the newer meaning of 'literally?' You may know the original meaning…" and gives an example: "I literally live right next door to my work. I go out of my door and it's right there."

He continues, "But in everyday English, 'literally' has an opposite meaning and is used to exaggerate what you're saying." He opens a refrigerator door. "I'm literally starving, I haven't eaten since breakfast. Ugh, my head is literally exploding, I've done so much studying."

@bbclearningenglish

🤩 Did you know that there are two meanings of ‘literally - and they’re opposites!? Tim explains the original meaning - and a newer meaning to use in your everyday English and on social media! Everyone is using it. Don’t miss out! ✍️ Can you try using ‘literally’ in a comment? #learnenglish #spokenenglish #speakenglish #slang #literally #informalenglish #vocab #oldwordnewmeaning @

Siobhan Wood writes in "Use and Abuse of the Word Literally – A Crisis of Language?" that these changes in definitions aren't totally uncommon and can evolve as new generations take hold. "This change, and the inclusion of new terms in the dictionary, is nothing to be afraid of; it’s been happening since the beginning of time."

Wood adds that the Internet helps to speed up these changes and make words evolve even more quickly than they once did. "The late 20th and early 21st centuries saw countless language changes: the Internet, computers, and globalization have all provided catalysts for new word meanings. The word spam is a perfect example of language change: originally a portmanteau of ‘spiced ham’ to describe a British processed meat product, its primary meaning now describes unwanted digital communications."

spam, words, language, English A can of spams is also a spam. Giphy Spam Spamming

The TikTok comments under the Merriam-Webster clip are funny, as they just roll with the new normal The video has a photo of musician Bruce Hornsby at a piano with the song "That's Just the Way It Is" playing underneath a chyron reading, "When people ask us why 'literally' has two different meanings."

One commenter writes, "I'm not letting y'all gaslight me into using literally figuratively." Another quotes a Coen Brothers comedy to share their frustration: "In the words of Edwina Ed McDunnough from Raising Arizona: that ain’t no answer."

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