+
upworthy
Family

Funny video compares the differences in how new moms and 'veteran’ mothers parent their kids

Veteran mom for the win.

mom tiktok, experienced mom, new moms

"Veteran" mom and "new" mom parent differently.

When a couple has their first child, they start out with the greatest of intentions and expectations. The child will only eat organic food. They will never watch TV or have screen time and will always stay clean.

But soon, reality sets in and if they have more kids, they'll probably be raised with a lot less attention. As a result, first-born kids turn out a bit differently than their younger siblings.

"Rules are a bit more rigid, attention and validation is directed and somewhat excessive," Niro Feliciano, LCSW, a psychotherapist and anxiety specialist, told Parents. "As a result, firstborns tend to be leaders, high achievers, people-pleasing, rule-following and conscientious, several of the qualities that tend to predict success."


However, it’s not just laziness that makes parents change their M.O. As parents gain experience, they learn not to sweat the small stuff and to have a bit more faith in their children.

Tova Leigh is a writer and performer who creates funny sketches on TikTok about parenting and feminism. To point out the differences between new and veteran moms she made a series of funny sketches with fellow mom Riona O Connor.

In the first video, the two mothers deal with fighting children. The new mommy uses a sweet voice and quietly suggests, “Oh honey, no, no fighting, sweetie. Gentle hands” to the brawling kids. When that doesn't work, the veteran mother screams, “We said stop fighting!”

@tova_leigh

We’re all doing a great job, some of us just do it a little louder (or with a hose) 😂 which one are you?! with @rionaoconnor_ #fyp #funny #parenting #momsoftiktok

The video must have hit a nerve with parents everywhere because it went viral, racking up more than 3 million views. "As a mum of 5… this is 100% accurate," Lora Bora wrote in the comments. Kira agreed saying, "I got 4…. And I felt this in my soul."

While the video was funny, it should also provide some comfort to young mothers who feel overwhelmed by the pressure to be perfect. As blogger Constance Hall points out, the need to be perfect can rob us of precious time with our kids.

"We are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect,” Hall wrote in a viral Facebook post. “To go to the gym, answer that email, pay that bill, cook that organic kale, blend it, get it into a patty so no one knows it's kale, get to the doctors.... Make the kids lunches cos if you order them again you will be JUDGED!”

In the second video, the two mothers have very different approaches to making a puree.

@tova_leigh

We’re all doing a great job, some of us just do it with a happy meal 🤪 which one are you? With @rionaoconnor_ #funny #fyp #momlife

In a third video, the two parents express their Christmas spirit in very different ways.

@tova_leigh

#ad AD We are all doing a great job, some of us just do it with less Christmas spirit 😉 Which one are you?! Did you recognise any of the lines? They are all from our favorite movies available on @SkyTV this Christmas. What's your favorite? With the amazing @rionaoconnor_ TAG A FRIEND #ChristmasOnSky #fyp #funny #momlife #momsontiktok #newmomvsveteranmom #ad

Kids grow up fast and if you blink an eye, you just may miss it. So regardless if you’re a new mom or a veteran mom, take a page out of these mothers’ books, relax a bit and have fun being a parent. Your kids will probably forget your vegan kale puree, but they’ll always remember the time you spent just being present.


This article originally appeared on 05.18.22

A pitbull stares at the window, looking for the mailman.


Dogs are naturally driven by a sense of purpose and a need for belonging, which are all part of their instinctual pack behavior. When a dog has a job to do, it taps into its needs for structure, purpose, and the feeling of contributing to its pack, which in a domestic setting translates to its human family.

But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

Keep ReadingShow less

A beautiful cruise ship crossing the seas.

Going on a cruise can be an incredible getaway from the stresses of life on the mainland. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t an element of danger when living on a ship 200-plus feet high, traveling up to 35 miles per hour and subject to the whims of the sea.

An average of about 19 people go overboard every year, and only around 28% survive. Cruise ship lawyer Spencer Aronfeld explained the phenomenon in a viral TikTok video, in which he also revealed the secret code the crew uses when tragedy happens.

Keep ReadingShow less

A woman looking at her phone while sitting on the toilet.


One of the most popular health trends over the last few years has been staying as hydrated as possible, evidenced by the massive popularity of 40-oz Stanely Quencher cups. The theory among those who obsess over hydration is that, when you pee clear, you’ve removed all the waste in your body and are enjoying the incredible benefits of being 100% hydrated. Congratulations.

However, according to Dr. Sermed Mezher, an NHS doctor in the UK, peeing clear isn’t always a sign of being healthy.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Kudos to the heroes who had 90 seconds to save lives in the Key Bridge collapse

The loss of 6 lives is tragic, but the dispatch recording shows it could have been so much worse.

Representative image by Gustavo Fring/Pexels

The workers who responded to the Dali's mayday call saved lives with their quick response.

As more details of the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse in Baltimore emerge, it's becoming more apparent how much worse this catastrophe could have been.

Just minutes before 1:30am on March 26, shortly after leaving port in Baltimore Harbor, a cargo ship named Dali lost power and control of its steering, sending it careening into a structural pillar on Key Bridge. The crew of the Dali issued a mayday call at 1:26am to alert authorities of the power failure, giving responders crucial moments to prepare for a potential collision. Just 90 seconds later, the ship hit a pylon, triggering a total collapse of the 1.6-mile bridge into the Patapsco River.

Dispatch audio of those moments shows the calm professionalism and quick actions that limited the loss of life in an unexpected situation where every second counted.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Yale's pep band had to miss the NCAA tournament. University of Idaho said, 'We got you.'

In an act of true sportsmanship, the Vandal band learned Yale's fight song, wore their gear and cheered them on.

Courtesy of University of Idaho

The Idaho Vandals answered the call when Yale needed a pep band.

Yale University and the University of Idaho could not be more different. Ivy League vs. state school. East Coast vs. Pacific Northwest. City vs. farm town. But in the first two rounds of the NCAA basketball tournament, extenuating circumstances brought them together as one, with the Bulldogs and the Vandals becoming the "Vandogs" for a weekend.

When Yale made it to the March Madness tournament, members of the school's pep band had already committed to other travel plans during spring break. They couldn't gather enough members to make the trek across the country to Spokane, Washington, so the Yale Bulldogs were left without their fight song unless other arrangements could be made.

When University of Idaho athletic band director Spencer Martin got wind of the need less than a week before Yale's game against Auburn, he sent out a message to his band members asking if anyone would be interested in stepping in. The response was a wave of immediate yeses, so Martin got to work arranging instruments and the students dedicated themselves to learning Yale's fight song and other traditional Yale pep songs.

Keep ReadingShow less

An English doctor named Edward Jenner took incredible risks to try to rid his world of smallpox. Because of his efforts and the efforts of scientists like him, the only thing between deadly diseases like the ones below and extinction are people who refuse to vaccinate their kids. Don't be that parent.

Unfortunately, because of the misinformation from the anti-vaccination movement, some of these diseases have trended up in a really bad way over the past several years.

Keep ReadingShow less