upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Wellness

The #DocumentingCOVID19 Project is gathering untold stories from people in diverse communities

The #DocumentingCOVID19 Project is gathering untold stories from people in diverse communities

In the early days of California's shutdown, I read diary entries from the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic. The entries portrayed many things; fear, despair, anxieties…the same things I was seeing every day on my social media.

My Facebook was filled with commentary and experiences from Black people, women, LGBTQ+ folks, and other diverse groups. One friend had a fever of 102 and a vicious cough, another was sheltering-in-place with her children while working from home, and yet another friend had lost a job opportunity. Would history remember their experiences? Would anyone remember how they felt, what they feared the most, what they were hopeful about?

The Internet has given diverse communities outlets to express ourselves for the world. We make people laugh through TikTok, start engaging conversations on Twitter, and document our dog's antics on Facebook. However, as a historian, I look at all of this material and wonder: who is organizing all these narratives? In 100 years, we may have archived the social media of MJ Rodriguez, Cardi B, Billy Porter, Hillary Clinton, and Anthony Bourdain, but their lives are not representative of the majority. Most of us will not ever be a presidential nominee, win an Emmy, or be on the front of magazines. And while I am not against recording celebrities, I believe that we can learn the most about a historical event from those who are never given the spotlight.


Historical narratives are often framed around the experiences of straight white men. As a Black woman thinking about future history books, I felt anxious that stories like the ones I saw on my Facebook would never be told because they would not be considered important. I could not let my family and friends be forgotten by history. With that determination set in my bones, I began assembling an oral history project, The #DocumentingCOVID19 Project, aimed at recording my communities.

Every week, I interview people to assure they will not be forgotten by history. I am recording the stories of people living through the COVID-19 pandemic so future generations will know how diverse communities and women survived. Since April, with the help of many supportive friends, I have interviewed 23 people from all walks of life: CEOs, hairdressers, mothers, teachers, COVID-19 survivors, community center workers, and government employees. Within these groups is even more diversity: Black, Indigenous, LGBTQ+, Jewish, people with disabilities, etc. In each interview, I ask people about their experiences during this pandemic as it relates to their identities.

For example, when speaking with Black mothers, who often give "the talk" about the police, I ask how they navigate a new talk… about COVID. For teachers, I ask about their concerns over what they can cover through virtual learning and the preparedness of future students. For people living with disabilities, we talk about the experience of watching large companies suddenly instituting working from home for able-bodied people, something disability advocates have been demanding for years. The records created by my interviewees gives a nuanced look at the pandemic: not everyone is making sourdough starters and perfecting their brownie recipe. Many people from diverse communities are afraid, suffering, but also showing a steel resistance to a pandemic that puts them most at risk.

Recording the narratives of diverse communities is essential because the nuances they give disrupt historical myths. One of my favorite things to do is read through primary sources in archives. Recently, I came across former slave narratives collected in the 1930s by Professor John B. Cade of Southern University and A&M College. Professor Cade and his interviewers traveled around the Jim Crow South, collecting the memoirs of former slaves. The power of these slave narratives is that they debunk many of the myths we have created about slavery. When someone tells me about how "slaves were usually treated well", I will now always share the story of Florence Bailey, who testified that slaves on her plantation were "branded by cutting ashes into their skin." It is hard to stand by your belief that slavery was only "a bit bad," when the voices of survivors say the exact opposite.

As I look ahead to the years that will follow this pandemic, I can already see some of the myths that will be created: it was hysteria created by the media, it was a Democrat hoax, it was just a cold, etc. While historical myths are created in part to organized political following in the present, they also occur because people do not know their history. It is my hope that the oral histories collected during this pandemic by researchers across the world will assure diverse communities are not forgotten. That our stories are not forgotten. That in a way, the work being done now, by historians and researchers can serve as a Mythbusters time capsule for future generations.

COVID-19 takes more lives each day and we do not have a cure. But we do have voices. Voices that recall the devastation, fear, and also the hope. One of the last questions I ask my interviewees is what their feelings about the future are. It has surprised me, after almost an hour of describing the exhaustion, anxieties and frustrations that the most common answer is "I am hopeful."

When they write the history of this pandemic, I want the world to know that despite everything we faced, we held tightly to hope. And if anyone doubts this, all they need to do is listen to the voices we have saved, telling our stories, preserved so our great-grandchildren will know how we survived.

Nikki Brueggeman is a writer and poet based in Southern California where she focuses on the subjects of Blackness and history. She can be followed on Twitter @warriornikki.

Teachers reveal they taught hungry after mom cries over empty classroom

It's August, which means a lot of kids have either started school already or are heading back. The back-to-school month also means an influx of parents voicing their grievances on the internet. Everything from not wanting their children to share school supplies to the teacher's wish list items. What is typically an exciting time for children can be a stressful time for parents and teachers for different reasons.

One disappointed mom took to the internet in tears due to the lack of classroom decor in her child's classroom for "meet the teacher." It could be that this is the mom's first time sending a little one off to school, as to the reason she didn't know that there would likely be more decorating happening before the first day of school. Either way, her tearful reaction to the lack of decorations caused a few teachers to reveal the reality they face.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Overwhelmed with emotion.Photo credit: Canva

Most teachers, especially those of little ones, want to have their classrooms decked out in all the colorful, age-appropriate decor, but in reality, that costs money. Often, money neither teachers nor the school districts have. This is why public school teachers have wish lists that they pass out before the first day of school; some even create Amazon lists so people outside of their district can help. It's a pretty common understanding that teachers don't make a lot of money, but for some parents, just how little teachers make may be overlooked.

A teacher who goes by Mrs. Frazzled on social media recently reacted to the post of the crying mom. In this case, the teacher lived up to her social media moniker because what followed was more PG-13 than her usual content. Someone who goes by the name Kubi responded to Mrs. Frazzled's rant with an eye-opening reality, "My first year as a teacher I made 27K and my room was empty because I could[n't] afford to buy things for it. and I didn't even get my first check until 30 days in so I taught HUNGRY the first month."

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.Photo credit: Canva

The confession prompted Mrs. Frazzled to commiserate with her own, revealing, "I also taught hungry my first year of teaching. That's part of why this whole thing made me so freaking mad. I'll tell you my story as a first-year teacher because it is not a unique story by any means, clearly."

She goes on to share that student teaching isn't paid and comes at the end of teaching certification, which requires soon-to-be-teachers to teach during the day for free, then attend classes at night. This essentially means there's no feasible way for student teachers to make enough money to cover living expenses unless they forego their sleep. Mrs. Frazzled says that in the spring of her student teaching, she had a major life event that resulted in her looking for a new place to live on virtually no income.

"On the heels of this happening, I'm starting my first year as a teacher. And you do not get paid for the first month that you teach, so nine months, no work. Summer, very minimal work. Then you start school, and you need to have a fully furnished and ready classroom, because if you've seen a government-sponsored classroom, you know it is very barren in there."

The woman reveals that she couldn't afford to live in the area where she taught, so her commute was anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. She also confesses that the only reason she had anything in her classroom was because "parents kinda carried me on my back financially." They purchased the things she needed, including a big, colorful rug that can run well over $500.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

"My first month of teaching, I was so stinking poor. I had a mattress on the floor, no refrigerator. I had a couch that I dumpster dove for, and I was driving Postmates after school so that I could get like $12 to buy dinner or whatever. I remember crying because I needed Q-Tips and I couldn't afford Q-Tips. I had to go Postmates for hours to make enough to buy Q-Tips. This is the reality of teaching in the United States," Mrs. Frazzled shares.

It's a reality check that some parents may not be ready to hear when their expectations fall short of the reality teachers are living. Feeling disappointed when something doesn't meet your expectations is understandable, but when it comes to classroom decor and supplies, it takes a village.

Redheads really are unique, and not just in looks.

In case there was any question, redheads are special. That's not just an opinion about people with red hair or their appearance, but a statement of fact based on their scientific uniqueness.

Today, red hair is a fascination and frequently seen as a beautiful feature, but that was not always the case. Historical views of redheads have often been negative, with red hair being seen as indicative of bad character in some ancient cultures or a sign of practicing witchcraft in Christian Europe. Remember Anne of Green Gables being teased by both peers and adults alike for her red hair? Gingers have had a rough go of it in the past, but modern science gives us plenty of reasons to see them as as exceptionally cool for their genetic quirks.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads make up less than 2% of the population.Photo credit: Canva

Here are 10 things that make redheads truly special:

1. Red hair is the result of a specific genetic mutation

The primary cause of red hair is the mutated MC1R gene, and in order to have red hair, both of your parents have to carry it. The parents don't have to be full gingers themselves, but if both non-redhead parents carry the recessive gene, their child has a 25% chance of surprising the family with red hair. (Around four to five percent of the population carries the mutated gene.)

2. Redheads are much rarer than you might think

Advertisements have disproportionately featured redheads for decades, offering a skewed picture of how common the hair color is. A 2014 study found that 30% of primetime network television ads featured a redhead, which is a vast overrepresentation of a hair color that less than two percent of the population actually has. (Redheads are most commonly found in Scotland and Ireland.)

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Red hair and blue eyes is the least common hair-eye color combination.Photo credit: Canva

3. Redheads with blue eyes are the rarest combination

It's already uncommon to have red hair, but being a blue-eyed ginger is the rarest hair-eye color combination. The chance of having that combo is 0.17%, which is exceptionally rare.

4. Redheads are more likely to be left-handed

Recessive traits tend to come in pairs, making it statistically more likely for redheads to be left-handed, according to limited research.

5. Redheads may require extra anesthesia

There's apparently something about the mutated MC1R gene that makes redheads less reactive to certain kinds of anesthesia. Results of studies have not always been consistent, but there's enough research with similar results for doctors to take red hair into consideration.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads are often referred to as "gingers." Photo credit: Canva

6. Redheads may be more sensitive to pain

In a painful bit of irony, if a redhead doesn't get enough anesthesia, whatever pain they do feel might be felt more intensely than people without red hair. Some studies have found that gingers are more sensitive to certain kinds of pain. At the same time, some research shows they may have a higher pain tolerance overall, so who knows.

7. Redheads tend to feel hot and cold more intensely

Are we sensing a theme here? Redheads have some sensitivities, including sensitivities to temperature.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Red hair can look thicker than other hair colors, even though redheads have fewer hair strands than people with other hair colors.Photo credit: Canva

8. Redheads have less hair but it often looks thicker

Redheads have around 90,000 strands of hair on their heads compared to 140,000 for brunettes. However, each strand is thicker than blond or brunette hair, which can make it look like they have more hair.

9. Redheads are more likely to get skin cancer and gynecological cancers

Considering the fact that most redheads have fair skin, the elevated skin cancer risk is not terribly surprising. However, redheads are have a higher than average likelihood of getting cervical, ovarian, and colorectal cancers.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads can be found in any race. Photo credit: Canva

10. Redheads can be found in any race

Though most commonly found among people of Northern European ancestry, people of any race or ethnicity can have naturally red hair. All it takes are the right recessive genes.

Our ginger friends truly are special in so many ways, and not just because their hair looks gorgeous in the sunlight. Here's to the redheads, in all their mutant genetic glory.

A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”


When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.


The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.


It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

Are you an engineer parent or a shepherd parent?

The intention of almost any parent is to do everything in their power to eventually bring a well-rounded, healthy, happy adult into this world. And yet, parents today are uniquely challenged with the anxiety that comes from this false narrative that if you somehow do everything “right,” your child will have all the success in the world.

And if you didn’t do the thing—have the perfect amount of omega-3s during pregnancy, adhere to the most astringent no-screen rules when they’re toddlers, etc.—you take the blame for any shortcomings your child develops.

However, according to one expert, it might be time for parents to reassess how much power they actually do have in the childrearing process.

In 2022, Dr. Russell Barkley, a psychologist who’s done a lot of pioneering work focused on ADHD, had a very tough love speech (one that seems to be going viral yet again) that began with the words, “The problem with parents these days…”


While that might be a little off-putting at first, trust that the overall message is pretty sound. There's nothing overgeneralized or finger-wagging about it, actually. In fact, it’s more of a permission slip for parents to breathe a bit and enjoy the process.

You do not get to design your children.

Nature would never have permitted that to happen. Evolution would not have allowed a generation of a species to be so influenced by the previous generation. It hasn't happened and it doesn't happen and it especially doesn't happen in children.

You do not design your children.

Barkley then gives the example of playing Mozart while pregnant will spawn a “genius,” or that “enough crib toys” will “fire enough synapses” to make a child grow up a “brilliant mathematician." Sure, stimulations matters, but more likely than not, the necessary stimulation is already being provided and no amount of extra effort will take away this truth:

You just don't have that kind of power…it’s out of your hands.

ussell barkley, nature vs nurture, raising kids, kid psychology, psychology, neuroscience Pregnant woman enjoys music (Mozart, perhaps) smiling gently with headphones.Photo credit: Canva

That can be a tough pill to swallow, but Barkley doubled down on his findings from “twenty years of research in neuroimaging, behavior genetics, developmental psychology, neuropsychology, all of which could apparently be boiled down to:

Your child is born with more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature, and they have nothing to do with you. So the idea that you are going to engineer personalities and IQs and academic achievement skills and all these other things just isn't true."

Still, there is also a beautiful gift in surrendering to this fact, Barkley said, wherein parents get to view their child as less of a “blank slate on which they get to write” and more of a “a genetic mosaic of their extended family.”

And this is where his famous “Shepherd vs. Engineer” analogy comes in.

I like the shepherd view. You are a shepherd. You don't design the sheep. The engineering view makes you responsible for everything--everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong. This is why parents come to us with such guilt. More guilt than we've ever seen in prior generations. Because parents today believe that it's all about them, and what they do, and if they don't get it right, or if their child has a disability, they've done something wrong when in fact the opposite is true. This has nothing to do with your particular brand of parenting.

So I would rather you would stop thinking of yourself as an engineer, and step back and say "I am a shepherd to a unique individual." Shepherds are powerful people. They pick the pastures in which the sheep will graze and develop and grow. They determine whether they're appropriately nourished. They determine whether they're protected from harm. The environment is important but it doesn't design the sheep. No shepherd is going to turn a sheep into a dog. Ain't gonna happen. And yet that is what we see parents trying to do, all the time.

In this speech, Barkley made sure to note the unique, vital role for parents of children with special needs, suggesting that they often feel the pressure to coax them into people that they are not, as a way of protecting them. But, as he said, “No shepherd is gonna turn a sheep into a dog.”

He then brought it all home with what’s to be gained by loosening the grip:

Recognizing that this is a unique individual before you allows you to enjoy the show. So open a bottle of chardonnay, kick off your slippers, sit back, and watch what takes place. Because you don't get to determine this. Enjoy the show. It doesn't last that long--they are gone before you know it.

Let them grow, let them prosper, please design appropriate environments around them, but you don't get to design them.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Obviously, there’s plenty of arguments to be made on either side of the whole nature vs. nurture debate, but the major takeaway seems to be that a parent’s role is equally active—providing structure, stimulation, nurturing, nourishing, etc—as well as passively observing (and accepting) what organically emerges. That latter responsibility might be even harder to fulfill than the former, but it beats stressing out over “engineering” the perfect child.

At its core, Barkley’s shepherd approach seems to be a way for parents to not only offer their kids a bit more grace, but themselves as well. That way everyone can feel safe to be their most authentic selves.

By the way, here is a link to The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature, which Barkley references.

A man sitting alone with a blank stare.

Have you ever met someone who doesn’t seem to have their own thoughts, opinions, or tastes? They tend to glom onto the personalities of their friends and will change their views on important issues, such as politics or religion, on a whim. When you try to get a sense of their core, it doesn’t seem there is much of one at all.

According to the School of Life, a social media company founded by writer Alain de Botton that helps people better understand themselves and others, a significant reason people around us appear to lack a true sense of self is that they were born to self-absorbed parents. So, if you’re having a hard time understanding a friend who has a weak sense of self or fear you have one yourself, here’s how School of Life explains the issue.

- YouTube youtu.be

Why do some people lack a strong sense of self?

“These poor souls tend to be the products of very particular sorts of childhood. When little, they will have faced environments in which their uniqueness was never a matter of concern to their self-absorbed caregivers. Mother or father were never able to push their needs aside for a time, drop to their level and ask: Who is this extraordinary new member of the human race whom I have helped to create? What are their particular inclinations and loves, and hates? What do they have to tell me? They were far too perturbed and fragile for such self-abnegation. They couldn’t attune to the child—and so the child could not, in turn, attune to themselves, for we can only find out what we think if, in the early days, someone was sufficiently patient to facilitate our own process of self-discovery,” the video states.

sad girl, lonely girl confused girl, personality, self-absorbed parents, girl touching face A girl who is outside and holding her cheeks.via Canva/Photos

It can be tough for someone to go through life with a weak sense of self because they are constantly worried by the opinions of others, and they have a loud inner critic. The pain of having to repress their true selves for years can lead them to have an intense internal rage that they keep deep down, until they can no longer hold it back anymore.

Those who build friendships or fall in love with individuals who have a weak sense of self may be initially charmed by them. They are interested in everything that we love and are happy to mirror us in an incredibly flattering way. Until, of course, the winds change and they follow someone new, transforming into someone completely different. “We can find ourselves dropped like a stone,” the video says. “And yet ironically, we may have been very right for them: they just didn’t know enough about who they were to trust their original instincts.”

man in suit, confident man, man with tie, man in blue suit, man with beard A man in a blue suit.via Canva/Photos

How can people regain their sense of self?

A medically reviewed article from Psych Central shows that people raised by self-absorbed parents can strengthen their sense of self by tuning into themselves instead of looking to others for direction. That inner voice may be faint at first, but when given proper attention, it can become louder.

How to cultivate a strong sense of self according to Psych Central:

  • Take time to analyze what your thoughts say about the type of person you are. Do you think of yourself as someone smart, funny, kind, and competent?
  • Try to believe in who you are and the person you can become. Thinking of yourself as a “work in progress” can help lower the volume on your inner critic.
  • Exercise your mental muscle of self-awareness. Regular examination of how you think and feel about yourself can foster greater insight and appreciation of your sense of self.