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Mom does a great job fielding her adorable 3-year-old's questions about pregnancy

'Did you open your tummy and then then the baby got in there?'

via TikTok

Blakely learns she's going to be a big sister again.

“The talk” is a moment a lot of parents dread having with their children. Sex is a complicated issue so it’s understandable that parents feel uncomfortable breaching that boundary with their kids and explaining such a delicate topic.

Kadyn Smith, a mom in California, got more than 2.5 million views of a video she posted on TikTok because of her incredible ability to navigate the topic with her 3-year-old daughter, Blakely. Smith told Blakely she was going to be a big sister for the second time and recorded the conversation to post on social media.


@kadynsmithsmith

😂🥰🤍 #pregnant #momtok #momsoftiktok #toddlertok #toddlersoftiktok #baby

Blakely had a lot of big questions for her mother:

“What is it?”

“Is it gonna come out when it’s big?”

“Is it sleeping?”

“Is it gonna tickle me?”

Then, she got to the biggest one. “How can a baby get in your tummy?” she wondered as she put her hand on Smith’s belly, to which Smith had a great response, “Mommy and Daddy put it there.”

“Did you open your tummy and then the baby got in there?” Blakely asked. “Yeah,” Smith responded.

Smith told TODAY Parents she was totally caught off guard by Blakely’s question. “I had no idea that was coming. You can hear me take a pause,” Smith said. "I was like, 'uhh.'"

Smith got a lot of love on TikTok for her ability to sidestep the question while providing an answer that satisfied her daughter. "Hahahah every parent completely understood the delay to HOW baby got there," Lynne Harris-Reginer wrote in the comments. "Good answer mommy goooood answer. Fast thinking, too," Lillyrae570 added.

Parents shared how their kids responded to the “how did a baby get in your tummy” question.

"When I told my daughter that I have a baby in my tummy, her first response was: you ate it?" Ronnie wrote. "My daughter cried when I told her there was a baby in my tummy. She said I must stop eating babies," Nokubonga Dube 910 wrote.

Smith’s answer sounded great to a lot of people’s ears, but what do the experts say?

Parent coach Dawn Huebner, author of “What to Do When You Worry Too Much,” says to be simple and straightforward while also using the proper words to describe our organs. “I’m an advocate of correct terminology,” she told Today’s Parent, “so I’d say something like, ‘Mommies have a special part in their body called a uterus. That’s where babies grow.’”

Robin Elise Weiss, Ph.D., adds that if a child asks the question and you’re unprepared, it’s OK to think on it for a few minutes before returning with a response. She says that’s also acceptable to explain biology in an age-appropriate way. “You can explain that a baby grows from sperm and an egg in the way fruit grows from a seed,” she told Verywell Family.

All in all, Smith did a great job thinking on her feet and showed just how challenging parenting can be. The most important thing is that she listened, rolled with it and gave it her best shot. That’s what being great mom is all about.

Concerned about the number of babies born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, the Centers for Disease Control has made quite the recommendation.

Health officials at the government agency on Feb. 2, 2016, suggested that all women of child-bearing age who are sexually active and not using birth control should ... wait for it ... avoid drinking alcohol altogether.


No birth control, no more Wine Wednesdays for you, says the CDC. Photo by iStock.

The CDC provided a handy infographic for health care providers, wherein they suggest that "[p]roviders can help women avoid drinking too much, including avoiding alcohol during pregnancy, in 5 steps."

Seems legit. But then step #3 is a little disconcerting (emphasis added):

"Advise a woman to stop drinking if she is trying to get pregnant or not using birth control with sex."

Hmmmm.

Yep, you read that correctly. If you're a woman who's having sex, who's capable of reproducing, and who's not using contraception, the CDC suggests your health care provider advise you to quit drinking alcohol completely.

At first, I thought maybe they just weren't being very clear. Maybe they were talking about women who are trying to become pregnant AND not using contraception. But, alas, no.

“Alcohol can permanently harm a developing baby before a woman knows she is pregnant,” principal deputy director of the CDC Anne Schuchat said, according to USA Today. “About half of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned, and even if planned, most women won’t know they are pregnant for the first month or so, when they might still be drinking."

She continued, "The risk is real. Why take the chance?”

Let's break this down.

Late in 2015, the American Academy of Pediatrics took the definitive stance that absolutely no amount of alcohol during pregnancy is safe for a developing fetus.

For years, there's been a lot of debate about how much, if any, alcohol an expectant mother can consume before she should worry that her baby could be born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD).

The CDC says FASD affects up to 1 in 20 U.S. schoolchildren and can result in many physical issues, such as: "low birth weight and growth; problems with heart, kidneys, and other organs; and damage to parts of the brain." Those problems can cause behavioral and intellectual disabilities, which in turn can cause problems with "school and social skills; living independently; mental health; substance use; keeping a job; and trouble with the law."

Photo by iStock.

FASD is a serious condition, no question.

While some are still skeptical that even small amounts of alcohol are dangerous, the AAP published a clinical report in the November issue of Pediatrics, and the abstract contained the group's clear-cut stance:

"During pregnancy:
— no amount of alcohol intake should be considered safe;
— there is no safe trimester to drink alcohol;
— all forms of alcohol, such as beer, wine, and liquor, pose similar risk; and
— binge drinking poses dose-related risk to the developing fetus."




According to the CDC, planned pregnancies apparently make up half of all pregnancies each year in the U.S. So based on that info from the AAP, the CDC's recommendation that women who are pregnant or trying to become pregnant abstain from alcohol is logical. They included women trying to become pregnant because, according to health officials, even planned pregnancies often remain unknown until a woman is four to six weeks along.

But the way the CDC wants to address potential FASD in the other half of pregnancies — the unintended ones —is where things veer off course.

To be fair, step #2 on the info graphic for health care providers instructs them to:

"Recommend birth control if a woman is having sex (if appropriate), not planning to get pregnant, and is drinking alcohol."

But for health officials to jump from that to step #3, which is essentially saying "no more alcohol for you, the end!" is a just a tiiiiiiny bit paternalistic.


No, CDC. No. GIF via "The Matrix."

And it's problematic.

First, it's still difficult for some women to access birth control. What if instead of telling women to use birth control or give up alcohol forever — or at least until menopause — the government made absolutely certain that all women have easy, free access to birth control?

Second, why are we not more concerned with the fact that half of women who become pregnant each year do so unintentionally? That seems like the actual problem that needs addressing, not that women are going around being adults and having a glass of wine or a few cocktails in the course of, you know, living their lives.

Third, where's the recommendation and handy infographic for men about their contribution to unintended pregnancies (and potential FASD in the babies that result from those unintended pregnancies)? After all, if men were using condoms correctly 100% of the time they engaged in sex, that should reduce the number of unintended pregnancies drastically, thereby reducing the instances of FASD. Women who are not using birth control while consuming alcohol would be far more unlikely to become pregnant in the first place if their partners were using condoms.

I'd venture to guess that most people care about healthy babies.

But in the course of trying to protect potential future babies that don't yet exist, the CDC missed an opportunity to address the real problems: Women need easy, affordable (or free) access to birth control, men need to take responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and, again, why don't we care more about the number of unintended pregnancies that occur each year in the first place? The bottom line: Telling adult women they shouldn't drink alcohol isn't a solution to any of these problems.

Family

Why Anne Hathaway's body-positive pic of her baby bump deserves a Like.

'So, posting a bikini pic is a little out of character for me...'

This is Anne Hathaway. And in case you're not up to speed on all the celeb gossip, you should know: She's pregnant!

Photo by Odd Andersen/AFP/Getty Images.


Congrats, Anne!

The thing with being pregnant and famous, though, is that your body suddenly becomes a thing that reallymakes headlines.

Even more so than when you're not pregnant. (It's almost as if the world has never seen a pregnant woman before!)

Hathaway and her husband, Adam Shulman. Photo by Ron Sachs-Pool/Getty Images.

So, when Hathaway was splashing around on a warm beach over the holidays, she decided to take this whole tabloid-driven obsession over pregnant celebrities thing and flip it on its head.

Because it's her body and pregnancy, after all.

She shared a photo on Instagram showing off her baby bump and rocking a red bikini, accompanied with a caption that slammed the paparazzi trying to snap a pic without her consent:

A photo posted by Anne Hathaway (@annehathaway) on


Here's the caption in full:

Happy 2016 to my beautiful Instafriends! So, posting a bikini pic is a little out of character for me, but just now while I was at the beach I noticed I was being photographed. I figure if this kind of photo is going to be out in the world it should at least be an image that makes me happy (and be one that was taken with my consent. And with a filter :) Wishing you love, light and blessings for the year ahead!

The pic gets at two important things: consent in the world of celebrity culture, and what it means to have a bikini body.

Yes, Hathaway is famous. She's won an Oscar. She's starred in (multiple) blockbusters. The 33-year-old has been a household name for years.

But she's still a human being. Snapping private pics of her in a swimming suit in order to sell magazine copies without her approval? Not cool — regardless of her fame.

Photo by Andersen Aleksander/AFP/Getty Images.

Hathaway's photo also serves as a reminder that there is not just one type of "bikini body." If it's a body and it has a bikini on it, it is — by definition — a bikini body.

Fat? Skinny? Tall? Short? Pregnant? Scarred? Tattooed? Black? White? Brown? Yep, you've got a bikini bod! And you should't let anyone tell you otherwise.

It's a topic Women's Health magazine just re-examined in terms of its own editorial coverage. The outlet, deciding the term "bikini body" probably does more harm than good, has banned the phrase from their covers moving forward.

“We want to always empower women, not make them feel bad about themselves,” Editor-in-Chief Amy Keller Laird told Newsweek.

Of course, one could argue that choosing to celebrate diverse bikini bodies on the magazine's covers would probably do more good than simply banning one term while continuing to highlight a traditional thin "bikini body." But the thought is nice, and it's a welcome one.

Kudos to Hathaway for feeling comfortable in her own skin and refusing to let some tabloid photographer exploit her holiday fun.

It was the perfect way to kick off a healthy, happy 2016 (with a spot-on choice for an Instagram filter, of course).

Photo by Sandy Young/ Getty Images for Nobel Peace Prize Concert.