A black man's viral commentary on face masks shows why it's not an easy choice for everyone

The coronavirus pandemic is being called a "great equalizer," and in some respects that's true. But unfortunately, the long-standing sociological structures of racism have not magically disappeared just because we're in a global crisis.
As a black man in America, Aaron Thomas has a perspective on the CDC's advice for everyone to start wearing masks in public—a perspective that many of us don't have. Thomas shared his thoughts on Twitter:
"I don't feel safe wearing a handkerchief or something else that isn't CLEARLY a protective mask covering my face to the store because I am a Black man living in this world. I want to stay alive but I also want to stay alive. There is still the nuance of race that dictates our lives and the way we move through spaces, even in these turbulent times. So until I get a proper and official face mask ima have to run the grocery store like it's 1993 and I'm on Supermarket Sweep."
Since there is a shortage of surgical masks, people are making their own cloth masks, or using alternative face coverings. And some of the suggestions for what to use come across as incredibly tone-deaf. For example, in some places wearing a bandana "like a bandit," as Dr. Oz suggested, could get you killed.
And for black Americans who are automatically viewed with suspicion too often, any face covering might trigger prejudices that could also get them killed.
An editor from the Boston Globe reached out to Thomas and asked him to elaborate on his post in an op-ed for the paper. In it, Thomas explained how this pandemic is serving to highlight, not flatten, the inequalities that exist in this country due to race, ability, class, etc.
"The world is upside down right now with the coronavirus pandemic and we are living in a dystopian nightmare come to life," he wrote. "Still, we are living in an America where history dictates that, even in the most absurd times, hatred and bigotry continue to reign. We are still judged, convicted, and sentenced by race, by gender, sexual orientation, and class."
"Early reports highlight what many have predicted," he added. "Those who are impacted by COVID-19 are overwhelmingly people of color, poor people, the homeless, and those living with disabilities. This stems from a lack of equitable access to health care."
He also pointed out that black people in the U.S. are viewed with suspicion that can cost them their lives, even when they're doing things other people do without consequence.
"As this is a historical moment, it is important that we remember our history," wrote Thomas. "Black men and women in this country have been killed for any and everything. A child with a toy gun, a young girl sleeping in her family home, a man buying an air gun at Walmart. Knowing all that, I just don't feel safe. Even in a time of pandemic, the discrimination does not stop."
Thomas says that he trusts science and he trusts the CDC's decision to recommend mask-wearing—he just doesn't trust "the innate biases and lack of critical thought about the implications of these decisions."
"I do not trust that I can walk into a grocery store with my face covered and not be disturbed," he wrote. "I do not trust that I will not be followed. I do not trust that I will be allowed to exist in my Black skin and be able to buy groceries or other necessities without a confrontation and having to explain my intent and my presence. I do not trust that wearing a make-shift mask will allow me to make it back to my home."
Those of us who don't have thoughts like this need to recognize why that is. We all live in the same country, but we don't walk through it the same way. Our race, class, ability, gender, etc. impact our experiences and it's vital that we listen to how others are impacted by things that we are not.
Undoubtedly, some folks will complain that this post is "race-baiting" and ask, "Why do we need to bring race into this?" Guaranteed, most of those people will not have read this article this far. If you are someone who thinks that and has actually read to this point, please remember that just because something doesn't affect you personally, that doesn't mean it's not real. There's a reason Mr. Thomas's post went viral. His experience is not unique among black Americans.
The fear is real. The risk is real. Denying those things and trying to dictate what black people can and cannot feel is part of the societal structure of racism that makes the fear and risk real in the first place. Let's do better by listening to and believing people of color when they tell us what their life as an American looks like. That's the only way we're going to start breaking up the foundation of racism that makes a black man afraid to cover his own face during a pandemic.
- Mom creates a jar of 'magical things to look forward to' to help kids ... ›
- New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo seized the moment with his rousing ... ›
- With all due respect to Governor Cuomo, this virus is not 'the great ... ›
- Tarana Burke shared an eye-opening story of why her partner wouldn't carry a pink tote bag - Upworthy ›
- She summed up the economic legacy of Black Americans in one history lesson and Monopoly metaphor - Upworthy ›
- College student spends 7 hours a day answering questions from fellow townsfolk about racism - Upworthy ›
- College student spends 7 hours a day answering questions from fellow townsfolk about racism - Upworthy ›
- Reflections from a token black friend ›
- Elijah McClain played violin for lonely kittens. His last words to police are devastating. - Upworthy ›
- The #DocumentingCOVID Project is gathering untold stories from people in diverse communities - Upworthy ›
- 'Freedom Cafe' description is a perfect response to arguments against mask requirements - Upworthy ›
- An 11-year-old girl is taking sewing lessons to make 1,200 masks for homeless people - Upworthy ›




American portion sizes are colossal.
Tax shouldn't be a not-so-fun surprise at the end of your shopping trip.
A trip to the doctor shouldn't break the bank.
This totally isn't weird at all. Right?
It's a choice.
America loves extra sugar in savory foods.
Princess Odette Girl GIF by The Swan Princess
Rose GIF
sailor moon GIF
river phoenix 80s GIF 
All of this will be ours one day. Yay.
Elderly woman with white hair on phone, sharing a story about a dead person her child has never met.
Surprised elderly man in blue shirt against a yellow background.
Elderly woman in pink shirt using a smartphone on a garden swing.
TV for waking. TV for sleep.
Elderly man using a magnifying glass to read a piece of mail
Mom is totally humiliated after her kindergartner tells the teacher what she does for work
She was clearly mortified.
A mom is embarrassed by her child.
One of the great joys and stresses of parenting is that you never know what will come out of your child’s mouth. When you have young, inquisitive kids, they can say really inappropriate things to people without realizing they were being rude or possibly offensive. TikTok influencer Aurora McCausland (@auroramccausland), known for her DIY cleaning tips, recently told a funny story on the platform about how her son believes she makes a living. The problem was that she heard about it from her child's teacher.
Mom is embarrassed by her child
“The other day, I went and picked my five year old up from school and when I get to his classroom his teacher pulls me inside and says, ‘Hey, today he wanted to tell us about what Mommy does for work and said that Mommy makes videos in her bedroom but only when I'm [he’s] not at home,” McCausland recalled.
Given her body language while telling the story, McCausland was clearly mortified after hearing what her child said to his teacher. It makes it look like she may be posting videos to adult sites while her child is at school, which most people wouldn’t want their son’s teacher to know about.
The good news is that another teacher was there to clarify the young boy's comments by adding, “I think she makes TikTok videos.” The uncomfortable situation was a great invitation to chat with her son about what she does for a living. “So I have to have a conversation with my son about how he tells people what I do for work,” she finished her video.
The funny video went viral, earning over 1.7 million views on TikTok, and inspired many people to share the times when their children had funny ways of explaining their careers. The commenters were a great reminder to parents everywhere that if your child says something embarrassing, it's ok, just about everyone has been through it.
Moms share their most embarrassing moments
A lot of parents spoke up in the comments to show McCausland that she's not the only one to feel embarrassed in front of her child's teacher.
"My son told everyone that we were homeless (because we don’t own our home, we rent)," KBR wrote.
"I work in ortho.. my daughter told her teacher I steal people's knees bc she heard me talking to my husband about a knee replacement," Aingeal wrote.
"My son told a teacher we were living in our car over the summer. Camping. We went camping," Kera wrote.
"In kinder, my son thought Red Bull was alcohol and told his teacher I liked to have beer on the way to school," Ashley wrote.
My niece told her teacher her mom and dad work at the wh*re house. They work at the courthouse," Ellis wrote.
"My husband works as a table games dealer at a casino. Kindergartener, 'Daddy's a Dealer!' We now start every school year clearly stating he works at the casino," CMAC
"My son said we lived in a crack house…There’s a tiny chip in the wall from the doorknob," KNWerner wrote.
"My dad is a hospice chaplain and officiates a lot of funerals. My son and nephew were asked by their preschool teacher if their papa was retired or had a job. They told her his job was to kill people," Tiffyd wrote.
"My son said "my dad left me and I'm all alone" to a random person at the zoo. My husband was just at work," Shelby.
"I am now in my 70s. In my gradeschool, during the McCarthy era, I told my teacher my dad was a communist. He was an economist," Crackerbelly wrote.
"In Kindergarten, my daughter told her teacher that mommy drinks and drives all the time. Coffee. From Starbucks," Jessica wrote.
"Well I once told my kindergarden teacher a man climbs over our fence to visit my mom when her husband is not home... It was a handy man who came to fix gates when they were stuck," Annie wrote.
Ultimately, McCausland’s story is a fun reminder of how children see things through their own unique lens and, with total innocence, can say some of the funniest things. It’s also a great warning to parents everywhere: if you aren’t clear with your kids about what you do for a living, you may be setting yourself up for a very embarrassing misunderstanding. So, even if you think they know what you do ask them as see what they say, you could save yourself from a lot of embarrassment.
This article originally appeared last year and has been updated.