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Wellness

A black man's viral commentary on face masks shows why it's not an easy choice for everyone

A black man's viral commentary on face masks shows why it's not an easy choice for everyone

The coronavirus pandemic is being called a "great equalizer," and in some respects that's true. But unfortunately, the long-standing sociological structures of racism have not magically disappeared just because we're in a global crisis.

As a black man in America, Aaron Thomas has a perspective on the CDC's advice for everyone to start wearing masks in public—a perspective that many of us don't have. Thomas shared his thoughts on Twitter:



"I don't feel safe wearing a handkerchief or something else that isn't CLEARLY a protective mask covering my face to the store because I am a Black man living in this world. I want to stay alive but I also want to stay alive. There is still the nuance of race that dictates our lives and the way we move through spaces, even in these turbulent times. So until I get a proper and official face mask ima have to run the grocery store like it's 1993 and I'm on Supermarket Sweep."


Since there is a shortage of surgical masks, people are making their own cloth masks, or using alternative face coverings. And some of the suggestions for what to use come across as incredibly tone-deaf. For example, in some places wearing a bandana "like a bandit," as Dr. Oz suggested, could get you killed.

And for black Americans who are automatically viewed with suspicion too often, any face covering might trigger prejudices that could also get them killed.

An editor from the Boston Globe reached out to Thomas and asked him to elaborate on his post in an op-ed for the paper. In it, Thomas explained how this pandemic is serving to highlight, not flatten, the inequalities that exist in this country due to race, ability, class, etc.

"The world is upside down right now with the coronavirus pandemic and we are living in a dystopian nightmare come to life," he wrote. "Still, we are living in an America where history dictates that, even in the most absurd times, hatred and bigotry continue to reign. We are still judged, convicted, and sentenced by race, by gender, sexual orientation, and class."

"Early reports highlight what many have predicted," he added. "Those who are impacted by COVID-19 are overwhelmingly people of color, poor people, the homeless, and those living with disabilities. This stems from a lack of equitable access to health care."

He also pointed out that black people in the U.S. are viewed with suspicion that can cost them their lives, even when they're doing things other people do without consequence.

"As this is a historical moment, it is important that we remember our history," wrote Thomas. "Black men and women in this country have been killed for any and everything. A child with a toy gun, a young girl sleeping in her family home, a man buying an air gun at Walmart. Knowing all that, I just don't feel safe. Even in a time of pandemic, the discrimination does not stop."

Thomas says that he trusts science and he trusts the CDC's decision to recommend mask-wearing—he just doesn't trust "the innate biases and lack of critical thought about the implications of these decisions."

"I do not trust that I can walk into a grocery store with my face covered and not be disturbed," he wrote. "I do not trust that I will not be followed. I do not trust that I will be allowed to exist in my Black skin and be able to buy groceries or other necessities without a confrontation and having to explain my intent and my presence. I do not trust that wearing a make-shift mask will allow me to make it back to my home."

Those of us who don't have thoughts like this need to recognize why that is. We all live in the same country, but we don't walk through it the same way. Our race, class, ability, gender, etc. impact our experiences and it's vital that we listen to how others are impacted by things that we are not.

Undoubtedly, some folks will complain that this post is "race-baiting" and ask, "Why do we need to bring race into this?" Guaranteed, most of those people will not have read this article this far. If you are someone who thinks that and has actually read to this point, please remember that just because something doesn't affect you personally, that doesn't mean it's not real. There's a reason Mr. Thomas's post went viral. His experience is not unique among black Americans.

The fear is real. The risk is real. Denying those things and trying to dictate what black people can and cannot feel is part of the societal structure of racism that makes the fear and risk real in the first place. Let's do better by listening to and believing people of color when they tell us what their life as an American looks like. That's the only way we're going to start breaking up the foundation of racism that makes a black man afraid to cover his own face during a pandemic.

Planet

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

Sustainability

A new school for girls in India stays cool in 120 degree desert heat without air conditioning

The award-winning structure is a huge step forward for sustainable design.

schools, india, desert, architecture, buildings, design, sustainable design, sustainable architecture, women, girls
Mike Rowe/Flickr & Canva Photos
Revolutionary school building stays cool even in 120 degree desert heat—with no air conditioning

Michael Daube, founder of the nonprofit CITTA, wanted to bring a school for girls to one of the most rural and conservative parts of India. In the region known as Rajasthan, the literacy rate for women was among the lowest in the country. There were few to no opportunities for girls to learn, and, for many, the only path in life was marriage.

There was just one problem with the plan: the rural desert community called Jaisalmer had almost no infrastructure to support a building that would meet the potential students' needs, and the nearest city was 40km away. Further complicating things, it would be challenging to build a low-tech outside venue for kids to learn in because of sweltering desert temperatures that routinely reach over 120 degrees Fahrenheit.


Luckily, architect Diana Kellogg was up to the challenge.

"I was so struck by Jaisalmer, the beauty of the place and how difficult it is to build in the climate," she told Stir World. "There was something very captivating about Jaisalmer and I also learned more about the situation of women and girls in that area. I was affirmed by the fact that education is better not just for individuals, but for the society as a whole. It changes the whole dynamic in societies."

She worked closely with the community to design the school, The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School, in a way that would empower women, give girls a safe place to learn, and stand up to the desert heat.

What's incredible is that the school building is able to stay relatively cool with no air conditioning even in the 120 degree heat using both ancient and local techniques:

  • Locally sourced sandstone gives the building its golden color and helps keep heat out of the interiors
  • Lining the inner walls with a material called lime plaster reduces humidity
  • A courtyard, which is customary in India, provides shade at many times throughout the day and can also be covered by a canopy
  • A jali wall—a grid-like structure—allows air to accelerate into the courtyard creating a breeze
  • High ceilings with window vents encourage hot air to escape
  • The elliptical shape of the building encourages air flow and allows high desert winds to flow around the structure

These techniques miraculously allow the indoor spaces to remain about 20-30 degrees cooler than the outside temperature.

- YouTube youtu.be

The school building is also completely solar and wind powered, while a water harvesting system helps recycle the school's graywater and harvest fresh rainwater.

Not only does the sustainable building look and feel like an extension of its desert surroundings, it uses building techniques, materials, and technology that the girls in the region are familiar with. It's all designed to help them feel safe and unencumbered in their learning.

There are plans to expand the school in the near future, adding more buildings that will support a women's cooperative, a marketplace, a library, museum, and an exhibition space that will serve the extremely remote and rural community.

- YouTube youtu.be

Kellogg and CITTA hope that the school can become a blueprint for more just like it around the world.

School is something many kids and families take for granted as a part of their communities, but there are plenty of areas like Jaisalmer where lack of infrastructure, poverty, and gender inequality keep kids from educational opportunities. In 2015, Global Citizen estimated about 60 million kids worldwide do not have access to a formal education. The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School is a wonder of modern architecture, but it also proves that it is possible through creative engineering to bring safe educational spaces to kids no matter where they live.

The building also won several architecture awards, including a prestigious recognition in the 2023 AIA Architecture Awards. It all helps get the word out.

"The comments that have come in are heart-warming. The girls find the space to be free and comfortable," Kellogg told Stir World. In a 2023 interview with CNN, she added that she's already seen a difference in the local girls who have attended school in the building she designed.

"[I've seen] the change in the girls, from being quite shy to being these bright lights that are devouring whatever kind of information you put in front of them."

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Joy

Thomas Jefferson coined a hip and funny phrase for abrupt goodbyes that still holds up today

A great phrase for when you've just gotta leave without explanation.

thomas jefferson, goodbye, name is haines, woman waving, us history

Thomas Jefferson and a woman waving.

"Irish goodbye" is a term for when someone slips out of an event without telling anyone, avoiding the awkwardness of announcing their departure. (Though the Irish didn't necessarily invent the phenomenon.) But what do we call it when someone decides to turn tail and leave a situation immediately, without any explanation at all? These days, there doesn't seem to be a name for a sudden, unexpected exit. Back in the 1800s, however, there was one, courtesy of the third president, Thomas Jefferson.

The phrase: "My name is Haines."


This may sound a bit strange, but it all stems from an unusual interaction Jefferson had while in office with a member of the opposition party. According to Monticello.org, The Weekly Picayune originally published the story in New Orleans on February 17, 1840.

The story behind "My name is Haines"

In 1805, during his second term as president, Jefferson was riding near Monticello, his Virginia residence, when he struck up a conversation with another man on the road. Amusingly, the man had no idea who he was speaking to, and as a rank-and-file member of the Federalist Party, which opposed Jefferson's Democratic-Republican Party, he had plenty of harsh words for the president.

monticello, thomas jefferson, jefferson house, virginia, famous houses Thomas Jefferson's Monticello.via Martin Falbisoner/Wikimedia Commons

The Weekly Picayune wrote:

"Haines took particular pains to abuse Mr. Jefferson; called him all kinds of hard names, ran down every measure of his administration, poked the non-intercourse and embargo acts at him as most outrageous and ruinous, ridiculed his gun-boat system as preposterous and nonsensical, opposed his purchase of Louisiana as a wild scheme — in short, took up every leading feature of the politics of the day, and descanted upon them and their originator with the greatest bitterness."

Jefferson simply listened, neither in the mood to argue nor to reveal his identity. When the two arrived at Jefferson's home, the president invited the man inside for refreshments. At one point, the visitor asked the president for his name. Here is how it was reported in The Weekly Picayune:

"Jefferson," said the President, blandly.

"The [devil]! What, Thomas Jefferson?"

"Yes sir, Thomas Jefferson."

"President Thomas Jefferson?" continued the astonished Federalist.

"The same," rejoined Mr. Jefferson.

"Well, my name is Haines!" and putting spurs to his horse, he was out of hearing instantly.

jefferson memorial, tidal basin, washington d.c., historical monuments, american history The Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.via Joe Ravi/Wikimedia Commons

Why did Haines ride off so quickly?

There are many reasons Haines may have decided to bail on the president so abruptly. He was likely embarrassed after bad-mouthing the president to his face and may not have wanted to risk any reprisal for his harsh words. And as someone who harbored deep ill will toward the president, he probably had no interest in entertaining his company. Regardless, "My name is Haines" became a popular phrase after appearing in The Weekly Picayune , and it was used whenever someone wanted to leave a situation suddenly and without explanation.

The phrase would be used until around the Civil War, but by the beginning of the 20th century, it, too, had said goodbye. It faded away rather than vanishing in an instant, as Mr. Haines famously did.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes
Canva Photos & Parliament Speakers Limited/Wikimedia Commons

Sprinter Derek Redmond made Olympic history after injuring his hamstring during a semi-finals run in 1992.

Starting in the mid to late 1980s, Derek Redmond was one of Great Britain's top sprinters. One of his greatest accomplishments was helping to guide his team to a shocking victory over the United States at the 1991 World Championships. However, Olympic success eluded him due to injuries that forced him to pull out of the games in 1988.

But 1992 was going to be his year. The summer Olympics were being held in Barcelona and, despite all the surgeries and rehab he went through leading up to the events, Redmond was well-positioned to earn a medal for his country.


In the quarter-finals of the men's 400m sprint, his chosen event, Redmond actually posted a personal best time and easily won his heat. That meant he got to move on to the semi-finals. If he could post a similar time in that trial, he'd be up for medal contention in the finals.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes The 1992 Olympics were held in Barcelona. Photo by Douglas Schneiders on Unsplash

Redmond's semi-final race got off to a fast start, but with about 250m left to go in the race, tragedy struck. Redmond was spotted on camera slowing up and clutching the back of his right hamstring. It had torn. He was unable to run, and collapsed to the ground in pain. His Olympic dream was over once again.

Redmond was a proud competitor, however, and managed to peel himself off the track. He began to hobble and limp toward the finish line, determined not to earn a "Did Not Finish" disqualification. And that's when an Olympic legend was born.

Redmond's father, Jim, was caught on live television storming the track. Training and security personnel tried to restrain him, but there was no stopping this dad. He made it to his son and gave Derek a shoulder to lean on as both men stumbled toward the finish. Again, security tried to remove Jim, but he waved them off.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

With his father's support, Derek Redmond broke down in a powerful display of emotion. The physical pain likely couldn't compare to the agony of watching his Olympic dream go up in smoke again. Still, the two men pressed on, and yet another Olympic official tried to intervene and was yet again waved off by the determined dad.

Eventually, the Redmonds were able to cross the finish line together to the roar of a standing ovation from the nearly sixty-five thousand spectators watching.

Unfortunately, Derek was still disqualified from the race as he had assistance in finishing. But that official Olympic record does not diminish his accomplishment, which continues to live on as one of the greatest Olympic moments of all time—even being officially recognized by the Olympics as such.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The moment was so powerful because it underscored the sacrifices made by both athletes and their parents. They train their whole lives for often just one opportunity to showcase their skills on the world stage. When it goes wrong, the results can be devastating. Win or lose, the parents are right there with them. Olympic fathers like Jim Redmond make immense sacrifices for their children to be able to chase their dreams, often spending a fortune on equipment and training, giving up career opportunities, family vacations, personal hobbies, friendships, and more to carve out enough time. Famously, gymnast Gabby Douglas spent two years living with a host family across the country from her parents so she could be closer to a top trainer. Other Olympic families spend $60-100,000 per year in training and equipment fees for their budding stars.

All the sacrifice and hope is on display in just this one short clip. The athletic displays at the Olympics are amazing to behold, but what we really fall in love with are the stories of persistence and perseverance, and there's none better than the story of the Redmonds.

Derek Redmond rehabbed relentlessly after his injury but ultimately had to give up running—though he did enjoy a run as a professional basketball player before retiring from athletics altogether. His father, Jim, passed away in 2022, ten years after being honored as a torchbearer for the 2012 Olympics.