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kindness of strangers

A subway station at 59th street in New York City.

New Yorkers may seem like a brash, uncaring bunch to the uninitiated. But when you get to know the people and the city, you’ll probably realize that they are “kind, but not nice,” as opposed to how many describe people on the West Coast as “nice, but not kind.”

A great example of New Yorkers looking out for one another happened on Reddit’s AskNYC subforum earlier this month. AskNYC is where New Yorkers consult one another on various topics, such as where to get cheap rent, subway shortcuts, and places to volunteer.

It all started when a Redditor named Andy, 21, who is autistic, reached out for help in a post titled, “Please help, where do I wait.” On the forum he goes by the name GalacticBambi. Andy is a native New Yorker who moved away at a young age. His father passed away two years ago, so he came back to the Big Apple to see his cousin and learn more about his father.

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Penn State University.

Most parents hope they raise kind humans. Those that will show up for a friend in need without looking for a pat on the back for doing so. This story about a college student who was sexually assaulted in the '70s by a popular and beloved college football player shows exactly what it means to be the kind of person who shows up for someone in need. Betsy Sailor was a student at Penn State University in the late '70s when she accused a football player of assaulting her at knifepoint. Nevertheless, the football season continued and the players closed ranks around the star player leaving Sailor isolated and fearful. That is until Irv Pankey knocked on her door.

Pankey was a star football player at the time who would eventually go on to play in the NFL. He had everything to lose by showing support to a person who publicly accused his teammate of rape, but after hearing the ordeal play out in court, he couldn’t sit back quietly. Being a Black football player in 1978, it was risky for him to break ranks with his team, but his position in society is what helped him understand what it was like to feel isolated. Pankey told ESPN reporters Todd Junod and Paula Lavigne that he thought to himself, “She does not deserve to be a pariah. You will never have to walk alone again.”

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This article originally appeared on 06.28.21


After Ahmaud Arbery, an unarmed Black man, was pursued and shot by three white residents while jogging through a Georgia suburb, Ellen and Patrick Miller* of San Diego hung a Black Lives Matter flag in front of their house. It was a small gesture, but something tangible they could do.

Like many people, they wanted to both support the BLM movement and bring awareness about racism to members of their community. Despite residing in a part of the county notoriously rumored to be marred by white supremacists and their beliefs, their neighbors didn't say much about it—at first.

Recently, though, during a short window when both Ellen and Patrick were out of the house, someone sliced the flag in two and left the remains in their yard.

via Paula Fitzgibbons

They were upset, but not surprised.

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Uplifting stories involving the 9/11 terrorist attacks can be hard to come by. Even the incredible, inspiring stories of heroism from that terrible day usually include a backdrop of planes exploding and buildings collapsing, narrow escapes and near-death experiences, traumatic images and collective grief. Such stories are important, of course, but we wouldn't exactly call them "feel-good" stories.

This 9/11 story is different. It's a story of simple human kindness towards people who weren't right in the thick of the attacks but who were directly affected by them nonetheless. It's a reminder that thoughtful, everyday actions by thoughtful, everyday people can have a meaningful impact in the lives of people they come in contact with.

Mercedes Martinez is the host of a Las Vegas area morning radio show, and she shared a story on Twitter about what her dad did to help seven strangers get home after flights were grounded on 9/11. She's hoping to find the seven people, but just reading about what her dad did is enough to restore a bit of faith in the goodness of ordinary people.

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