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91-yr-old Holocaust survivor Ben Lesser is sharing his story. It's one we all need to hear.

91-yr-old Holocaust survivor Ben Lesser is sharing his story. It's one we all need to hear.
ZACHOR Foundation

"What's 'the Holocaust'?" my 11-year-old son asks me. I take a deep breath as I gauge how much to tell him. He's old enough to understand that prejudice can lead to hatred, but I can't help but feel he's too young to hear about the full spectrum of human horror that hatred can lead to.

I wrestle with that thought, considering the conversation I recently had with Ben Lesser, a 91-year-old Holocaust survivor who was just a little younger than my son when he witnessed his first Nazi atrocity.

It was September of 1939 and the Blitzkrieg occupation of Poland had just begun. Ben, his parents, and his siblings were awakened in their Krakow apartment by Nazi soldiers who pistol-whipped them out of bed and ransacked their home. As the men with the shiny black boots filled burlap sacks with the Jewish family's valuables, a scream came from the apartment across the hall. Ben and his sister ran toward the cry.

They found a Nazi swinging their neighbors' baby upside down by its legs, demanding that the baby's mother make it stop crying. As the parents screamed, "My baby! My baby!" the Nazi smirked—then swung the baby's head full force into the door frame, killing it instantly.

This story and others like it feel too terrible to tell my young son, too out of context from his life of relative safety and security. And yet Ben Lesser lived it at my son's age. And it was too terrible—for anyone, much less a 10-year-old. And it was also completely out of context from the life of relative safety and security Ben and his family had known before the Nazi tanks rolled in.

ZACHOR Foundation

Before I spoke with Ben, I had prepared myself for what I was going to hear. The baby story was brutal, but I'd read enough Holocaust stories to expect all manner of horror. The Jews being rounded up and taken to the woods to dig their own graves before being shot and thrown into them. The cattle cars crammed with bodies so tightly no one could move—where men, women, and children languished in hunger and thirst, standing in their own excrement for days. The Nazi commandant who made every 10th prisoner in line hold their body over a sawhorse and take 25 lashes, shooting in the head anyone whose body touched the sawhorse through the beating.

The concentration camps, the death camps, the gas chambers. I was prepared for all of that.

What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that Ben Lesser's dad was a chocolate maker. He was one of the first, Ben explained to me proudly, to make chocolate-covered wafer cookies, like a Kit-Kat, only he made his in the shape of animals.

Hearing Ben describe the way he and his siblings would excitedly run to their father when he got home from work, knowing he'd have pockets full of chocolate for them—that was the detail that did me in. The simple sweetness of it. The fact that their life was so delightfully normal before it turned into a nightmare. That backdrop made hearing about the horrors Ben witnessed and experienced from age 10 to 16 all the more heinous.

ZACHOR Foundation

Ben was 15 when he and two of his siblings were shoved into a cattle car and transported to Auschwitz-Birkenau, the largest Nazi concentration camp complex where Nazis systematically murdered 1.1 million people in five years. When they exited the car, a man was directing people to go left or right. Ben, a strong young man, was sent to the right with his uncle and cousin—they were going to work. His sister Goldie and younger brother Tuli were sent to the left.

Ben only learned that his sister and brother had gone straight to the gas chambers when a guard later explained, with a twisted sense of satisfaction, that the ash gently falling from the sky was made up of the bodies of the workers' loved ones.

By the time the war ended, Ben would lose his parents, three of his four siblings, and countless extended family members and friends to Hitler and his followers' hatred. His older sister, Lola, was the only member of his immediate family to survive.

The stories Ben shared from Auschwitz-Birkenau, from the "Death March" to Buchenwald, and from Dachau—where he would ultimately be liberated when the war ended—are every bit as horrific as everything I've described so far. It would take far more space than I have here to share it all, but Ben has written it all down—the tragedy and suffering as well as the miracles that occurred both during and after the war—in his autobiography.

But simply putting it all down in writing wasn't enough.

ZACHOR Foundation

"In my mind there are questions that have never been answered," Ben writes in the opening of his memoir. "You might be surprised to learn that my first unanswered question is not, Why did that insane Hitler try to destroy the Jewish People? Instead, my first unanswered question is, Why did the so-called sane world stand by and let this Genocide happen?

"Having experienced the savagery of genocide first-hand as a child, while living in a supposedly modern, cultured, European country, I also have two additional questions: One, What are the circumstances and choices that led up to this and other genocides? And two: What must we do to prevent it from happening again? Anywhere. Because, sadly, as the old saying tells us, 'The more things change, the more they stay the same.'"

These are the questions Ben seeks to help all of us answer as time takes us further and further away from the Holocaust. Ben is one of a handful of survivors who are able to share first-hand experiences as Jews under Nazi terror—a fact he was keenly aware of when he founded the ZACHOR Holocaust Remembrance Foundation in 2009. "ZACHOR" means "REMEMBER," and the purpose of the foundation is to make sure the world never forgets the lessons of the Holocaust or the millions of individual lives that were taken there.

The story of the Holocaust isn't just in the masses of humanity killed, but in the individual stories of those who survived. For years, Ben spoke at schools, sharing his story with young people. At 91, Ben has retired from the school circuit, but he's not slowing down in his efforts to teach the lesson of what hate can lead to.

ZACHOR has just launched an online Holocaust curriculum—the first to be created and facilitated by and through the firsthand testimonial of a survivor. Ben told Upworthy that he wanted to create a curriculum that would be free and easy for teachers to access so there would be no excuse for schools not to teach about the Holocaust.

Considering the study findings that came out today, Ben's curriculum could not be more timely.

The 50-state survey of young adults in the U.S. found that nearly two-thirds were unaware that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust, nearly 1 in 4 say they think the Holocaust is a myth or that it's exaggerated, and approximately 1 in 10 had either had never heard of it, didn't think it happened at all, or—perhaps most alarmingly—think Jews were responsible for it.

Clearly, we need to be doing a better job of educating our kids about the Holocaust. If we don't, the online disinformation machine will lead them to believe it was all a hoax.

The Zachor Holocaust Curriculum consists of eight lessons, which interweave Ben's personal story with facts about the Eastern European part of the war, how Hitler and the Nazis operated, and the Holocaust in general. It includes written content, fact inserts, photographs, and videos. It is free to register to use, and available to anyone with internet.

Perhaps the most unique element of the ZACHOR curriculum is the interactive component. Ben has created a Storyfile—a mix of artificial intelligence and hologram technology that will enable people to ask Ben questions and get answers long after he's no longer here. He spent hours answering thousands of questions, all of which was recorded from various angles and put into the Storyfile program, so people will always be able to hear Ben's answers to their questions from his own mouth.

Ben's foundation has also launched an anti-bullying campaign called "I SHOUT OUT." Anyone can go to the website i-shout-out.org and share what they shout out for—equality, peace, human rights, etc.—to let the world they stand against hatred.

I asked Ben what is the main message he wants people to take from the horrors of the Holocaust. He said, "It's very simple. Stop the hatred."

We all need to listen and heed Ben's words. Even just this five-minute video in which he shares how the Holocaust got started is worth viewing and sharing with our kids.

3 - Ben's Testimony. It all started with hatred.youtu.be

It may be a few more years before I share the full scope of Nazi cruelty with my son. But I will absolutely make sure that he knows what happened during WWII, about the millions of lives destroyed by hatred, and how, as Ben says, "One person with the gift of gab could turn the minds of millions."

Zachor indeed. We will remember.

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Retired teachers in their 30s live on cruise ships full-time for a little over $10K a year

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense."

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A cruise ship could be your home for a way lower price than you'd expect.

You know that feeling toward the end of a great vacation when you stop and think: I wish I could stay here forever. It might be an all-inclusive resort, a secluded beach, or a fun-filled cruise on the high seas that you just don't want to leave. Of course, for most people, it's a fantasy. You can't just quit your job and live a permanent vacation. But what if you could?

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise and had the time of their lives. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."

The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals and promotions they’d received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000.

That's not per month. That's the total, coming out to around $1250 per month. Not a bad deal whatsoever. Plus, the more cruises they book, the more perks and deals they get.

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.

Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises.

They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

More recently, they've spent time in Amsterdam, the UK, Germany, Belgium, and more. What an amazing adventure.

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry, or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub. Plus, there are always new friends to meet on board with every new cruise.

Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

Brzoska and Conley were one of the first high-profile couples to get attention, followers, and media coverage for the permanent cruising lifestyle, but they're definitely not the only ones. It's an especially popular choice for retired adults and seniors, who find it cheaper and way more fun than living in a retirement community or nursing home. It's also a great choice for people who can work remotely and flexibly, or who own their own digital-nomad-friendly businesses.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

As of this writing, the couple has been cruising full-time for over two years, or 916 days to be exact. They've been on 106 cruises and visited over 45 countries together. Absolutely unreal.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Older people get real about what it's like to move into a retirement community

"Do your homework before taking the plunge."

Image via Canva

Old people discuss what moving into a retirement community is really like.

Moving into a retirement community is a big life transition for many senior citizens. Making the choice to downsize and move into a retirement home is not an easy one that can come with many unknowns.

In an Reddit forum, member @common_grounder posed the question: "Anyone who's downsized and moved into a retirement community, what's the adjustment been like for you?"

They continued, "Has it been hard giving up your former life and belongings? Is a more simplified existence comforting to you? Has being around lots of people who are also old been a net positive or net negative?"

Older people who have made the transition into a retirement community shared their real and honest experiences for those considering making the move. These are 16 of their most informative and impactful responses:

retirement home, retirement community, retirement living, assisted living, old people The Villages Dancing GIF by Magnolia Pictures Giphy

"I've been in an Independent Living Community for 2 years. I was having some health issues and I needed a place that had on duty staff. I downsized twice. My wife and I downsized from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Apartment. My wife developed Vascular Dementia the year before the Pandemic. Eventually she went into hospice and after my 3rd hip surgery in 18 months I moved into Independent Living. My 1st year here my bride of 39 years past on from complications of the Vascular Dementia. When I first got here I participated with some of the outing and events. We get 2 meals a day and I used to do dinner with the same group daily. The Presidential election changed that. I loved the people I sat with. However I was crushed that so many of my older peers voted against their interests. I just turned 70 on D-Day. On the average I'm a "youngster" here. Before the election I constantly helped residents conquer their smartphones be it iphone or Android. Now I order lunch and dinner for me to pick up and eat alone in my apartment. I only venture out now for Dr's appointments and the occasional family outing . I guess more than any thing I miss my bride of 39 years, 44 together. I'm looking forward that my 29 year old son is getting married in August to a wonderful woman and their future looks bright. I'm grateful technology allows me to talk, text and facetime people I care about. At my age, I don't have many long time friends still on this plane of existence. Even when I downsized to this one bedroom Apartment I still have too much stuff including Heirloom China in my living room for my son that been here 2 years. Oh I almost forgot. We have a happy hour on Wednesday afternoon. I always go and get a vodka tonic and finger food. I was told by my parents to never drink alone. Do that one drink a week is me not drinking alone." —@sapotts61

"I live in a retirement community and I like it a lot. No exterior maintenance, lots of activities and amenities. Beautifully landscaped grounds and great views from my home. Being around similarly aged people is nice too. I really can’t think of a negative. But the quality of the communities vary. Do your homework before taking the plunge." —@Entire-Garage-1902

"My wife and I did it 11 years ago. We sold our 4 bedroom 3 bath 2 story house and moved into a 2 bedroom 2 bath single level house in a 55 and better community. It’s been terrific! We have a resort like pool next to the clubhouse and gym. There are tennis and pickle ball courts, gas grills, a big charcoal grill, sauna and spa. It’s a quiet, safe, well kept neighborhood with friendly neighbors." —@8amteetime

downsizing, retirement community, retirement home, moving out, downsize GIF by Stellify Media Giphy

"One month into assisted living. I think it’s going to be fine. Just another life transition like college, being on my own, getting married, having kids, building a career, moving into a bigger showplace house, etc. Just in reverse - everything getting smaller and simpler. Downsizing has been very challenging, getting rid of so many objects that still mean something to us, but won’t mean anything to our kids, and there’s not enough space in our 950 sq ft apartment. Having the staff do all the cooking - food has been quite good! - cleaning, and managing my medications, has certainly simplified our lives. And freed up time for my wife to do things she chooses, not just things she must. Moved to a different state where we knew no one, except our sons and their families, so we’re meeting a lot of new people. Haven’t really clicked with anyone yet, but have a half dozen people we can join for meals in the dining room. Yeah, adjustment is going fine." —@dnhs47

"I (64M) wasn’t ready for it and my wife and I are moving out. I miss seeing kids and families." —@MacDaddy654321

"It's a very difficult thing. It sounds simple, correct. But it's what you make of it in your new life. I used to do warranty work for brand new modular homes. Many are doing just that...downsizing. While working, you wind up chatting with many. The stories would run the whole gamut, from ecstatic to downright miserable. My takeaway if you can afford it was maybe try a couple of years' lease/rent before committing. Sit on any s to get a feel for it first. It was quite heart-wrenching at times. Should have, could have. There's mental factors to think of. Your circle of friends may change. Someone other than you could be in charge of your property. Suddenly, there's not a whole lot you can use those tools on anymore, etc. It's a tough thing to do." —@xgrader

elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, old woman Old Lady Fight GIF by BDHCollective Giphy

"We are UPSIZING when move to a retirement community." —@FootHikerUtah

"We upsized into a 55+ community. Sometimes I miss the age diversity with neighbors but my husband and I are 64, pretty active with previously established friendships, part time jobs, and our family. We like that there is a clubhouse with book clubs, game nights, community dinners and a lovely swimming pool. I feel like it’s a home where we can age in place for as long as possible." —@Competitive-Ice2956

"I am almost 70. I have downsized hugely. I lived in a retirement community for 4 years from 61 to 65 I hated it!" —@Direct_Ad2289

"We’ve been in an over 55 community 8 yrs. I love my little house, all on one floor, lots of storage. It’s a bit lonely when our snow bird neighbors go home for the summer, but the grocery store is less crowded. We’ve had several neighbors die recently, but that’s why they call this Gods waiting room. It’s also worrisome to see neighbors having physical or dementia like issues. We aren’t into the pool scene or golf, but we love the indoor walking track. The entertainment shows are a hassle, gotta get those tickets months in advance. We tried a few day long bus trips but their prices are way too high now. Our community is over 40 yrs old and pre 2020 we had thriving crafts, cards, wood, metal, auto, photo clubs….people in charge of those kind of drifted away during the lockdown and a lot of knowledge and organizational skills to run those programs were lost. It’s very quiet here, most neighbors keep their homes very tidy. I’m in a single family home, I have yearly membership dues but no HOA…those are running around $300 a month. We have a great Facebook page that helps us all stay connected and compare notes. All in all I have zero qualms about leaving my old life." —@Adrift715

"2/2 1400 sq ft villa. It was hard deciding what to keep and what to get rid of at first, but in the end, it was liberating. I love the fact that we can just lock the door and leave without having to worry about outside maintenance." —@RowdyRumRunner

over 55, over 55 community, retirement, retirement community, retirement home homer simpson episode 10 GIF Giphy

"I’m in a 55 and over community. It’s a very active community, dances at least 2 per month, bingo on Sunday, movies on Thursday, exercise classes at least 3 per day including yoga, karaoke, cards, swimming…I could go on but you get the drift. No obligation to attend any of the activities but they are available. No meals, this is independent living. I’m really happy here, best choice I made after selling my house. Downside for some is living with rules, some people don’t like picking up after their dogs or speed limits or whatever, my place isn’t super controlling but any rules are too much for some people." —@Kitchen-Fee-5114

"I like it, being on my own I didn’t want a house with all the maintenance. I have a small apartment so I had to get rid of a lot of stuff, that can be hard but I did it. Where I live there is a lot of activities if you are interested, but it’s independent living and some people like that and some don’t. I have made friends, play cards and always have something to do if I’m bored. One of the things you don’t think of is that you meet people and then they die. That is something that can be hard to deal with." —@Birdy304

aging, aging well, happy aging, getting old, old people Aging Golden Girls GIF by All Better Giphy

"I upsized when I moved to a retirement community - my Manhattan apartment was 440 square feet, and my car was in a garage two miles away. Here in Connecticut, I've got 1500 square feet plus a basement and garage. I've got more stuff than ever." —@vinyl1earthlink

"We downsized from our home we lived in for 35 years to a tiny home (399 sq ft) three years ago. While the community is not age restricted, 95% of the people are retired and at least 65. We live on a lake so I get to fish as much as I want. Wife enjoys a bunch of activities such as water aerobics, arts and crafts and dancing. We travel the park in a golf cart. It’s takes minutes to get from one activity to the next. Overall we love it." —@Dicedlr711vegas

This article originally appeared in June.

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Psychologist explains why everyone feels so exhausted these days and it makes a lot of sense

"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…"

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

It seems like most people are feeling wiped out these days. There's a reason for that.

We're more than four years past the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on. Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds.

We've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.

But why?

Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense. Holdt is a psychologist, author, and speaker with over two decades of experience, and specializes in the emotional well-being of children and young adults. She is also the author of "How to Raise Resilient Kids and Teens."

In a post on Facebook, she wrote:

"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…

No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…

We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…

And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…

Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…

We can’t.

And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…

So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.

Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).


tired, exhausted, wicker chair, psychology, tired woman, A tired woman relaxing in a chair.via Canva/Photos

Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…

Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.

Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."

Putting it like that, of course, we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness, so they dive fully back into life, only to crash midday because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.


tired, exhausted, wicker chair, psychology, tired woman, A tired woman laying on the couch.via Canva/Photos

Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds, and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.

So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.

You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Parents go viral for 'secret' praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.

“I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!”

Credit: Instagram @namwilamulwanda

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice gentle parenting.

There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she's within earshot but out of sight. These aren't your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they'd never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.


In a viral Instagram post that's garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child's back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one's true self.”

In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she's listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:

“I'm just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.

“She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She's always telling me, 'Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,'” says Zephi), before concluding that she's amazing.

“She's amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.



People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”

Another parent shared a powerful example:

“My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, 'He's very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.' The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, 'Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.'”

Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I'd be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”

“Stop, I was just thinking last night, 'When I have kids, I'm going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,'” another enthusiastically shared.


child, hiding, parenting, conversations, praise Children believe that conversations between adults are more “authentic” and honest. Photo credit: Canva

Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.

“This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There's something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they're being genuine because they're not saying it directly to you.”

This effectiveness stems from children's innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child's self-image.

These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara's dad's comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”


via GIPHY

Yet, it's crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.

Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”

The viral response to Mulwanda's video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It's heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn't experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:

“To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more.
If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” - Namwila Mulwanda

This article originally appeared in June.

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The super interesting reason why people in the past looked so much older than people today

It isn't just the hairstyles.

via Nick Denner/Flickr and Canva/Photos

How are these both high schoolers?

Have you ever looked back at your parents’ high school yearbook and thought that all the 11th graders looked like they were in their early 30s? Whether they were in school in the ‘60s and the kids had horn-rimmed glasses or the ‘80s with feathered hair, they looked at least a decade older than today's high school kids. One wonders if in 30 years, kids look at a yearbook from 2025 and see boys with broccoli cuts and girls with nose rings and they think, “What are they, 35?”

The folks at Bright Side did a deep dive into the phenomenon and found a few reasons why people looked so much older in the past than they do now. It’s a mix of how our minds perceive older fashion and why people age more gracefully in modern times.

Why did people look older in the past?

“Specialists have looked into this phenomenon, and it does have some scientific facts to back it up,” the narrator states. “It's not necessarily that our ancestors looked older; it's more that we appear to look younger. And younger as generations go by, that's because over time humans have improved the way they live their lives in the us alone over the last 200 years.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A big reason people looked a lot older when photography became common in the late 1800s is that it happened at a time when we were making tremendous advances in public health. The 1880s to the 1920s were a time of rapid advancement, when we began to understand infectious diseases and how they spread. “We gained access after safer types of foods, and we understand the importance of clean water. Our individual lifestyle choices can impact the way we look,” the video says.

The way we work has also drastically changed how people look. Working in an office for eight hours a day in air conditioning will keep you a lot younger-looking than working all day as a Victorian chimney sweep. Plus, for people who work outside, sunscreen has made it much easier to protect our skin and decrease wrinkles.

Let’s not forget the importance of a straight, white smile. Advances in dental care also help make people look younger.

1970s girls, high school girls, girls in uniforms, old high school photos, nostalgia A "girl gang" in 1976. via Earthworm/Flickr

Why do people wearing styles from the past appear older?

Finally, there’s the clothes issue, and, yes, this does have a big impact on how we view the age of people from the past. “Our brains are wired to associate old trends with being old,” the video says. “For example, your grandpa might still have the shirt he wore in that 1970s picture, and it's because of that shirt that you retroactively associate that trend with being old, despite the fact that your granddad does look younger in the picture than he looks today. “

girls in school, '60s high school girls, class room, old-school cool, GIrls in class in the 1960s.via Phillips Academy/Flickr

In the end, the fact that people look a lot younger today than they did in the past is a testament to how the quality of life has drastically improved since cameras were first invented. However, that doesn’t mean that fashion has improved at all. You have to admit that your dad with that fly butterfly collar in his 1977 graduation photo looks better than that multi-colored, Machine Gun Kelly-style hoodie you see guys wearing in high schools today.

This article originally appeared in June.

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