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History (Education)

Dietrich Bonhoeffer argued that stupidity is more dangerous than evil. He was right.

The anti-Nazi theologian explained that stupidity doesn't mean a lack of intellect and why it's harder to battle than malice.

shoes on the danube, holocaust, hitler, nazis, dietrich bonhoeffer

Photo credit: Canva (left), Unknown/Wikimedia Commons (right)

Holocaust memorial in Budapest, Hungary (left), Dietrich Bonhoeffer with religious students in 1932 (right)

When a formerly thriving nation finds itself in the clutches of a totalitarian demagogue, the question of how it happened is always foremost in reasonable people's minds. The "how" question is particularly important to ask when an authoritarian doesn't take the reins of power by force, but rather gathers enough support that people hand those reins over freely.

For instance, the infamous mass-murdering dictator Adolf Hitler was freely elected by the people of Germany, which was arguably an enlightened, artistic, progressive society at the time. To answer the question of how Hitler came to power and how people went along with unspeakable atrocities, anti-Nazi theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer posited a theory: It's not that a wide swath of his fellow countrymen were evil, it's that they were stupid. And stupidity, he argued, was more dangerous and harder to battle than actual evil or malice.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"‘Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice," the Lutheran pastor wrote in his letters from prison. "One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself the germ of its own subversion in that it leaves behind in human beings at least a sense of unease."

"Against stupidity we are defenseless," he went on. "Neither protests nor the use of force accomplish anything here; reasons fall on deaf ears; facts that contradict one’s prejudgment simply need not be believed — in such moments the stupid person even becomes critical — and when facts are irrefutable they are just pushed aside as inconsequential, as incidental. In all this the stupid person, in contrast to the malicious one, is utterly self-satisfied and, being easily irritated, becomes dangerous by going on the attack. For that reason, greater caution is called for than with a malicious one. Never again will we try to persuade the stupid person with reasons, for it is senseless and dangerous."

dietrich bonhoeffer, germany, anti-Nazi dissident Dietrich Bonhoeffer with candidates for confirmation in 1932.Photo credit: Unknown/Wikimedia Commons

But what exactly does it mean to be a stupid person in this context? Bonhoeffer said stupidity wasn't about someone's intellect, but about their social behavior and tendencies.

"There are human beings who are of remarkably agile intellect yet stupid, and others who are intellectually quite dull yet anything but stupid," he wrote. "We discover this to our surprise in particular situations. The impression one gains is not so much that stupidity is a congenital defect, but that, under certain circumstances, people are made stupid or that they allow this to happen to them."

— (@)

Stupidity is more of a sociological problem than a psychological one, Bonhoeffer said, explaining that people who are independent loner types are less likely to fall to stupidity than highly sociable people. He also posited that a rise in power tends to correlate with a rise in stupidity:

"Upon closer observation, it becomes apparent that every strong upsurge of power in the public sphere, be it of a political or of a religious nature, infects a large part of humankind with stupidity…The power of the one needs the stupidity of the other. The process at work here is not that particular human capacities, for instance, the intellect, suddenly atrophy or fail. Instead, it seems that under the overwhelming impact of rising power, humans are deprived of their inner independence and, more or less consciously, give up establishing an autonomous position toward the emerging circumstances."

germany, WWII, concentration camp, holocaust, auschwitz-birkenau View of the train tracks leading to the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp in Germany.Photo credit: Canva

In other words, when a leader gathers power, whether by force or coercion or convincing people through propaganda, stupidity follows. And though it tends to be a social phenomenon, there are signs of stupidity in people that are recognizable, Bonhoeffer explains.

"In conversation with him, one virtually feels that one is dealing not at all with a person, but with slogans, catchwords and the like, that have taken possession of him. He is under a spell, blinded, misused, and abused in his very being."

Which leads us to what makes stupidity the most dangerous trait of all:

"Having thus become a mindless tool, the stupid person will also be capable of any evil and at the same time incapable of seeing that it is evil. This is where the danger of diabolical misuse lurks, for it is this that can once and for all destroy human beings."

shoes on the danube, holocaust memorial The Shoes on the Danube memorial honors the thousands forced to remove their shoes before being shot into the Danube River during the Holocaust in Budapest, Hungary.Photo credit: Canva

Bonhoeffer, a theologian to the end, contended that "the internal liberation of human beings to live the responsible life before God is the only genuine way to overcome stupidity," and he also offered some hope: "…these thoughts about stupidity also offer consolation in that they utterly forbid us to consider the majority of people to be stupid in every circumstance. It really will depend on whether those in power expect more from people’s stupidity than from their inner independence and wisdom."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was arrested by Hitler's Gestapo in 1943 after helping a group of 14 Jews escape to Switzerland. Allegedly, he played some part in a failed plot to assassinate Hitler and was sentenced to death. At 39 years old, he was executed by hanging at Flossenburg concentration camp on April 9, 1945, just 11 days before it was liberated by U.S. troops.

You can read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's "Theory of Stupidity" here.

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If you see a person and two dogs in this photo, look again. It's an optical illusion.

It takes a while to see it, but there aren't two dogs in the photo.

@Rainmaker1973/X, @farhadge/X

If you see a man and two dogs, look again.

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're looking at. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees, to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner. Turn the photo every which way and it's still the same conclusion. That's a person and two dogs, right?

— (@)

But there are not two dogs in the photo. There are actually three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the "person" actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated? The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out. This outline helps somewhat:

— (@)

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious. One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

— (@)

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

— (@)

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us. They say seeing is believing, but when what we interpret what we're seeing incorrectly, we end up believing things that might not be real.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though. Also a good reminder that what we think we see, even with our own eyes, may not be an accurate picture of reality.

This article originally appeared last year.

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optical illusions

Teacher creates 'controversy' by admitting that students should know their reading level

“I'm starting to think that we need to be more straightforward with students about their progress and where they're at academically."

via Canva/Photos

A teacher showing her students their grades.

The results from 2024’s National Assessment of Educational Progress found that the slide in American students' reading abilities has only worsened. The percentage of 8th graders with “below basic” reading skills was 33%, the lowest in the exam’s three-decade history. The percentage of fourth graders “below basic” was the largest in 20 years, 40%.

“Our lowest performing students are reading at historically low levels,” said Peggy Carr, commissioner of the National Center for Education Statistics, which gives the NAEP exam. “We need to stay focused in order to right this ship.”

A big reason for the drop was the disruption in education caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, but educators are looking to see if there are other causes behind the drop in competency. “This is a major concern — a concern that can’t be blamed solely on the pandemic,” Carr said. “Our nation is facing complex challenges in reading.”

@amber.mariee44
Please give your feedback I can’t tell if this is a good idea or not #teacher #teachersbelike #teachertok #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #highschool #literacy

Alarmed by the drop in reading scores, a high school teacher named Amber, who goes by @Amber.Maree44 on TikTok, is considering telling her students the grade level in which they read in hopes that it will motivate them and give them a reality check on their performance.

“I'm starting to think that we need to be more straightforward with students about their progress and where they're at academically,” Amber said. "I think they need to know what grade level they're performing at."

Amber’s perspective may also be helpful to parents. A 2023 study revealed a significant gap between parents' perceptions of their child's performance and their actual standing compared to grade-level standards. Nearly nine out of ten parents thought their child was at grade level, while about half were below grade level nationally.

students, teachers grades, amber teacher, literacy rates, declining scores, american education A teacher talking to a student about grades.via Canva/Photos

“I'm hesitant to do this because I know that we don't want students to feel bad about themselves, and I know that we don't know that we don't want to discourage students by showing them their deficits. So I think, for a lot of students, having a real reality check like that where it's like, 'Hey, you're in high school. But it looks like you're reading at a fifth-grade level,' I think some students need that in order to push themselves to actually try in school," she continued.

Amber’s suggestion runs counter to some in education who believe that if children are told they are below grade level, it will discourage them from reading. This may further deter their progress, and it is far from an imperfect process to determine where a child is with their reading skills.

"To the people saying 'oh but only tell the parents' no, the kid needs to know. the parents can't read for them, or do the work for them. also some parents don't care, or don't get it," Maria wrote in the comments. "I’m a teacher. I did this for years, and I would tell my students iif you aren’t at a level you’re proud of, I want you to know it’s NOT your fault. But if you choose not to fix it, it will be,'” McM added.

students, teachers grades, amber teacher, literacy rates, declining scores, american education Students reading on the rug.via Canva/Photos

Amber believes that a big reason why 54% of adults cannot read at a fifth-grade level is that no one told them, so they don’t know they need help improving their reading skills.

To combat the literacy crisis, Amber was considering having her students take an online literacy test to determine their grade level; she doesn’t need to know the results because she already knows where they are from previous tests. Then, so no student feels singled out, she can have a dialogue with her students who have fallen behind about how they can improve their skills. This approach strikes a happy medium, allowing students to learn where they are without shame from their teacher, while also providing them with options to enhance their skills.

This article originally appeared in March

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Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don't miss from the 80s and 90s

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too."

Images via Canva

Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the "gold old days." But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: "What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?"

Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don't miss about the 80s and 90s.

landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF Giphy

"Long distance phone bill." —gohdnuorg

"Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that." —raz0rbl4d3

"Answering the landline and having no idea who's calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety." —Fit-Interview-3886

"Not having GPS." —recrysis

"Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section." —Less-Lengthiness4863

smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s mothers day smoking GIF Giphy

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too." —poizon_elff

"Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time." —timmayd

"Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter's hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp." —Honey-Badger-90

"Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners." —JLMTIK88

"Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free." —Joshawott27

internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet Girl 90S GIF Giphy

"Satanic panic." —Historical_Spot_4051

"Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two." —11B-E5

"Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda 'last forever'. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren't developing that tech." —snoozieboi

"Shoulder pads." —Thin_Apartment_8076

shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints Giphy

"Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never." —Imaginary-List-4945

"Terrible contact lenses." —MandatoryMatchmaker

"To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn't do anything else." —rena-vee

"Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time." —Aggravating-Iron9804

pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn't teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn't teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn't know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun." —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

"The 'heroin chic' body type." —Heartbreak_Star

"Panty hose." —Kitty-haha

"Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles 😔🫠😂😂." — IAmTheBlackStar1979

"Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job." -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding Animated GIF Giphy

"Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape." —mycrml

"Serial killers. They just can't exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%." —PrimeNumbersby2

"Manual roll up/down windows in cars." —Human-Average-2222

"Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone 🤢." —GoblinHeart1334

"Busy signal on the phone." —crjconsulting

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History (Education)

Literature professor explains how history changed whether people bookmark or 'dog ear' books

"Dog ear your own books. Fine. Do this to library books and I will find you…"

Image via Canva

English literature professor explains history of libraries and dog-earing books versus using bookmarks.

All bibliophiles have a personal method for marking their "spot" in books. Some are fans of "dog ears"—folding the top corner of the page--while others prefer to use bookmarks. If you're a voracious reader, it's a divisive topic that has a surprisingly deep history related to libraries dating back to the 16th century.

NPR's Andrew Limbong, a reporter and host of NPR's Book of the Day podcast, interviewed Ian Gadd, an English literature professor at Bath Spa University in England to explain the history of dog-earing books—and how the two camps evolved.

"In England, from the 16th century to the 18th century, dog-earing was not a big deal," says Limbong. "In fact, dog-earing a book like the Bible was a way of showing you've been keeping up with the reading."

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In the interview with Gadd, he explains, "It becomes a sign of piety," adding that, although many people during that time were illiterate, it became a sign that they were "much more learned than they are."

However, attitudes began to change about dog-earing books in the 18th century. Limbong says that at that time, literacy had become much more widespread, with all classes and genders now partaking in reading—and the upper classes "feeling some sort of way about their precious books." Gadd added that with more information more widely available to lower classes, it instilled anxiety among elites who held power over them.

Additionally, people began to view and treat older, antique books as more valuable, just as subscription libraries were starting to become "a thing." Gadd explains that people were getting "very anxious" about lending out books for fears of them being returned "tattier than it was...you didn't treat them properly." The combination of these things led books to become "an extension of virtue, morality", Limbong says.

books, reading, library, libraries, library gif Read Beauty And The Beast GIF by Disney Giphy

The informative interview got a passionate response from viewers, with many sharing their preference and opinions when it comes to dog-earing books versus using bookmarks. "Dog ear your own books. Fine. Do this to library books and I will find you…," one wrote in the comment section. "I’m a librarian in a public library and I cannot tell you the fury I feel when a book comes back dog eared!" another commented. Another shared, "I suppose my pov is that they get damaged quicker and sometimes some books are out of print and can’t be replaced when you go to reorder. The boring pragmatic point of view!"

Fans of dog-earring books elaborated on their choice to do so. "I’m all dog-ear. And margin notes. To me, books are to be in relationship with. We’re engaging with one another which inevitably causes some wear and tear, like a well loved pair of shoes🤷🏾♂️," one shared. Another fan added, "You’ll find dog-eared pages and scribbles in my books. Come. At. Me."

book, books, book pages, reading, read home video book GIF Giphy

Others noted they simply liked seeing books dog-eared. "I do not dog ear books, but I kind of like seeing library books dog eared while I’m reading it. I feel like a connection with that random person- like they stopped and picked back up at this point. Like I *know* other people read library books, but seeing the shadows of a dog ear is like a little reminder."

Those in the bookmark club also expressed their opinions. "Anything can be a bookmark. No need to dog ear ever. Of course, if you own the book, do what you want. Many of my books are full of notes . And when I buy used books, I love coming across an odd note or a strange bookmark," one commented. Another added, "I collect art cards and postcards when I travel and they make great bookmarks!"

bookmark, bookmarks, book mark, book marking, book gif public radio books GIF by WAMU Giphy

Others shared they are fans of both camps. "I do both-bookmark for place holding while reading and dog ear to return to certain pages. If I use a book a LOT, I DO love those slim mini post-its though…" one wrote. Another shared, "They serve different purposes… bookmark to keep place in current read, dogear for having the ability to return to something poignant later. To be clear I only do this with books I own."

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21 anonymous parents confess how they're battling burnout by any means possible

"I throw out my kids' crafts and I don't feel bad about it."

Canva Photos & Skylight

Parents are really struggling, and they're confessing the little ways they get by under all the pressure.

I was trying to make a dentist appointment for my two kids last week. Or, rather, I was trying to reschedule a dentist appointment. I'd made one six months ago at their last visit for a day and time that seemed to make sense, but that was basically an educated guess at best. Six months might as well be six years ago! I had no idea what our schedule would be so far in the future, so I did my best. But now it was time to move it, of course, because I had been completely wrong.

I called the office, but no answer. Called again, no answer. Left a message, no call back. Finally, I was able to get a hold of someone through the office's text line. They offered up some new dates and times, which was great. So, I went to check our calendar.

Day 1 didn't work because of back to school "sneak previews." The timing on Day 2 didn't work because my youngest isn't allowed to show up to daycare summer camp past 11 (don't even get me started). Day 3 didn't work because the plumber was scheduled to come that morning. Day 4 didn't work because I had a dentist appointment of my own! I thought day 5 might be a winner, but then my wife reminded me that it was the second day of school—and we couldn't take our kids out of school on their second day of both starting new schools!

In the end, honestly, I just gave up. I needed a break. I had other things to do and my brain was starting to hurt. Plus, I'd already spent what felt like hours on this allegedly simple task.

So, my confession as a dad is that my kids are currently overdue for the dentist, and making them a new appointment is still pending on my To-Do list, because I literally just can't right now. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels that way.

The folks at Skylight have been collecting confessions from anonymous parents, who share how they're surviving the chaos: Whether it's taking shortcuts, telling little white lies, or just feeling guilty for always falling short. Whatever it is, these parents are doing their best and still struggling.

But that doesn't mean that some of the confessions aren't hilarious. Others are incredibly moving. Overall, it's the perfect picture of the joy, the love, and the anxious guilt that all come together to make up modern parenting.

Yes, people knowingly sign up for this when they have kids, but it's impossible to know just how difficult and frustrating it can be before you're in the thick of it every day. It's also awesome and so fun and joyful! That's the beauty of it all.

Here are some of the best responses from Skylight's anonymous confessions.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "Sometimes I book a babysitter just so I can drive around in my car alone."Skylight

"I skip pages at bedtime stories." —Dad, 33

"There's a 50/50 shot I forget it's early dismissal. " —Dad, 48

"Still haven't unpacked their backpacks from June. Should be fun." —Dad, 41

"Whenever I want time alone I tell the kids I'm planning Christmas. Even if its March. " —Mom, 45

"I never filled out my kid's baby books. " —Mom, 29

"I throw out my kid's crafts and I don’t feel bad about it. " —Mom, 44

I relate to so many of these, so much so that it hurts. As I'm writing this, there is a cardboard box in my garage filled with just a year's worth of my kids artwork, school papers, and crafts. The box is overflowing and I keep having ideas of sorting through it so I can save the really good stuff, but I just can't get around to it. Literally, I can barely get to the box because it's buried under a ton of other junk I have to sort through!

In my house, we've all but given up saving new artwork unless it's really special, and most of what's in the box will probably be thrown away. I feel guilty as hell about it but I just can't create more hours in the day to deal with it.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I secretly prayed my kid's Little League team would lose."Skylight

Here are some more good ones:

"Sometimes when my children are fighting I just let them have it out and continue to read my books." —Mom, 37

"I tell my kids I'm going in my room to work, and not to interrupt. When in fact I am eating ice cream and watching my show." —Mom, 36

"If we don’t have cash in the house for the tooth fairy, we use money from their piggy bank." —Dad, 35

"I tell my kids I’m studying, but really I’m reading my spicy book. " —Mom, 42

"That cute, smiling picture I posted on IG? My toddler was having a full blown meltdown and the only reason she smiled was because I sang Baby Shark." —Mom, 33

"I’m never sad when a practice or game canceled for rain or heat!" —Mom, 39

As a travel soccer family, I can definitely relate to the sweet relief of a cancelled practice. Our daughter goes about three times per week year round, which is an enormous time commitment. The practices are usually in the evenings around dinner time, and we have a younger kid that needs to keep a normal schedule, so practice evenings are usually pretty chaotic and often end with one or many of us eating junk from McDonald's. Worse, I feel a lot of guilt that I stay in the car or at a nearby coffee shop working on my laptop while other parents are out in lawn chairs watching practice. What am I doing wrong? I wonder constantly.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I told my kid our town doesn't have a hockey team, because lord knows I'm not waking up ... to take him to practice."Skylight

OK, here are just a few more:

"All I want is time with my kids and time without my kids." —Mom, 33

"Yes, I threw out your Halloween candy." —Dad, 52

"I’ve forgotten my son at early pick up before." —Mom, 37

"Some days, I feel like I’m not giving enough to either side of my life." —Mom, 32

"I’m constantly feeling guilty when I’m not with my kids but feel overwhelmed when I’m with them. " —Mom, 44

Ah, yes, the true brilliance of being a parent is that you get to feel like you're failing in every aspect of your life simultaneously. Parenting takes time and energy away from advancing in your career, but don't worry, your career also takes time and energy away from being a great parent. It's so awesome!

You can see all the confessions as they roll in right here.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "i told them I had to work late, but I just drove around crying until I felt better."Skylight

In 2024, Skylight teamed up with The Harris Poll to create something called the Mental Load Report. The findings were fascinating and illuminating.

The survey results showed that parents spent an average of 30.4 hours per week on "planning and coordinating family schedules and household tasks," or the equivalent of a near-full-time job.

Parents were found to receive an average of 17.5 communications (emails, texts, phone calls) about their kids' activities every week. It's a stark difference from when we were kids and our parents never heard anything until it was Report Card time.

Planning for "time off"—securing childcare, summer breaks, activities, etc.—took over 100 hours per year. Summer vacation? Yeah, right.

Moms, unsurprisingly, are carrying more of the mental load. But 60% of all parents felt taken for granted or under-appreciated in their household for all the care and planning that they do.

Add it all up and it's no wonder the US Surgeon General put out an advisory warning recently about the poor mental health of parents. An advisory is a "public statement that calls the American people's attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed." The report lobbied for expanded paid family leave, expanding public and private insurance coverage of mental health care like therapy, and creating more family-friendly and free community spaces like parks.

Those measures would go a long way, but in the meantime, parents are just trying to cope any way that they can. Whether that's stealing some of your kid's Halloween candy for a little pick me up, or telling them you have an appointment just so you can go somewhere quiet and scream in your car. We're getting by, however we can.

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