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Family

Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision

Spoiler alert: They’re totally fine with it.

childless couples, kid-free life, regrets of seniors

via Pexels

Childless people over 50 discuss their decision.

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women who’ve decided to opt out of motherhood.

“You will regret it!” is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think they’ll have such awful regrets? Because they often say they’ll wind up “lonely and sad” when they’re older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older they’ll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never “feel complete” unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless.

Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: What’s lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they’re in the minority.

An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons they’ve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a “serious” question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked “People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?”

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children.

A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought they’d be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

1. Never had any desire.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." — IBeTrippin

2. No desire. No regrets.

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." — BornaCrone

3. Mixed feelings.

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.
But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." — ProfessorOzone

4. They never visit.

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." — joevilla1369

5. It wasn't an option.

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." — MaerakiStudioMe

6. Grandkids are cooler.

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" — Zublor

7. I'd be a bad parent.

"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." — Videoman7189

8. I'd rather be the cool aunt and uncle.

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." — laudinum

9. Loneliness is underrated.

"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" — Hermits_Truth

10. No diaper changes and no regrets.

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." — fwubglubbel

11. Zero desire.

"I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." — GrowlKitty

12. D.I.N.K.

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" — EggOntheRun

13. Some regrets

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though." — Johnny-Virgil

This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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All In

Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it.

@binkythechichi2
The king of drama
♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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Expert reveals the one question to ask to make a great first impression in 9 seconds

There should be one focus when you meet someone new.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”

While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

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Levi Strauss Foundation

The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence

Community

How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Pets

Woman who lost her cat tried the 'Japanese Missing Cat Method' with delightful results

Some call it "word of meowth."

Photo Credit: Canva

A British Blue cat. Street cats in the alley.

Legend has it, and bear with me, that cats have a psychic secret society that only cats know about and can explain. It's not quite as crazy as it sounds. A woman named Mel Moon went viral on social media after telling the harrowing tale of her British Blue kitty, Wade, who had gone missing.

Moon passionately asks with her strong British accent, "Right, is this a coincidence or is there something to this crazy legend? I'm asking you." She goes on to explain what happened. "Okay a few days ago, my cat went missing." She flashes to a photo of the sassy grey cat. "There he is, the absolute d--khead. Anyway, I was devastated, downward spiral, couldn't cope. Did everything the RSPCA told me to do. Put his litter outside. Food. Water. Clothes with my scent on it. Went out searching at dusk. Went out searching at dawn. Wasn't going to bed until 5:30 in the morning because of that absolute prick, right? Would he come back? I was beyond worried, it was crazy."

@mel.moon.comedian
Missing cat? Try the Japanese missing cat method…

What she says next is truly thrilling. "And then someone left me a comment and asked 'Have you tried the Japanese Missing Cat Method?' I've never heard of this method, but apparently what you've got to do is this. You've basically got to go out onto the street, find a stray or street cat. Crouch down to its level and whisper to it that you've lost your cat. Describe your cat in detail, give the cat your cat's name, and then tell the cat how much your cat means to you and then give it a reward. Kind of like a retainer fee, right?"

Here's how Moon claims it works. "That cat will then go and find your cat. So I did that. As if people didn't think I'm crazy enough. I'm out in my back garden talking to my patio cats like, 'Please, I've lost my British Blue. His name is Wade. I've had him for three years, he means the world to me. I'll do anything if you bring him back, please! Here's some ham, here's some turkey - please bring him home.'"

cats, Japanese missing cat method, tiktok, legends A cat walks around and sits on a bench. Giphy GIF by Studycat

She looks straight into the camera as her eyes widen. "Well I s--t you not. Ten minutes after I did that, this prick starts running down the street screaming for me." She flashes to an emotional picture of her holding Wade. "Ten minutes after I sent this little cat off to find mine, this one rocks up at my door. Is this a coincidence? Have you heard of the Japanese Missing Cat Theory? Because it's a real legend, and oh my God. If it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. But the prick is back. And totally grounded!"

The over 1,000 commenters on one Facebook post alone seem to totally support this, having had similar experiences. One writes, "Yes! We were told that the fastest way for our cat to come home was to go out and cuddle/pet a neighborhood cat. She was missing for three days and we had signs up and we would follow leads to try to find her. Only 5 hours after we pet a neighborhood cat, she came home (through a window we left open). It’s 100% true!"

Another confirms, "It works - I have tried it - asked a cat on the street 'have you seen my kitty - he went out in the morning and has not come back' and it turned and walked and I followed him straight to my cat who was up a tree playing."

@mel.moon.comedian

On TikTok, the original video has over half a million likes and over ten thousand comments, many of them—of course—cat memes. One hilariously writes, "‘Wade, look man, you better get home, your mom out here crying handing out deli meats’ - cats probably."

Not to be outdone, this clever TikToker jokes, "I have never heard this, but my husband swears that they speak to each other. He calls it 'word of meowth.'"

The lore is fascinating, but some are cynical. In a post for Japan Today, Owen McGee pushes back against skeptics, claiming they "might be quick to jump to conclusions, pointing out that there could be any number of reasons explaining why the cat returned home, and that the timing was just sheer coincidence. However, what surprised everyone was the number of responses from other people who said they had similar results with their own lost pets after speaking to stray animals in the area, leaving us wondering if this method might really just work."

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Community

If you struggle with small talk, a simple acronym can make it a lot less painful

All you have to remember is "FORD."

via Gary Barnes/Pexels

Small talk can be painful, but the FORD method can help.

Some people enjoy small talk and are naturally good at it. For others, it feels like mental and emotional torture. There are many reasons why people are nervous about entering social situations where they have to make small talk, such as a work event, a party where they don’t know many people, or at school. Some people don’t enjoy small talk because they get frustrated talking about seemingly unimportant topics.

At the same time, others are shy and afraid they’ll say the wrong thing or run out of topics of conversation. Psychologists suggest those who are uncomfortable knowing what to say should use the FORD method of conversation starters. It’s an acronym that’s an easy way to remember four different topics of conversation that work with just about anyone.

— (@)

According to Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T at Social Self, the FORD acronym stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Here are some examples of questions that fall under each category.

Family

Just about everyone has a family, so it’s a great way to ask someone to share some information about their personal lives without being too forward. Arzt suggests the following questions when making small talk:

family, small talk, ford method You can ask people about their parents, kids, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, or just family in general.Photo credit: Canva

Do you have any siblings?

How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)

How old is your child?

How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened?)

Occupation

Just like a family, almost everyone has a job. Or, if they do not, that can be an interesting topic as well. Here are some starter questions you can ask someone about their job.

jobs, occupations, ford method, small talke You can take questions about someone's occupation beyond simply, "What do you do?"Photo credit: Canva

What do you do for a living?

How do you like working at _____?

What’s your favorite part of your job?

What made you interested in becoming a _____?

Recreation

You can learn a lot about a person after knowing how they spend their free time. It’s also an excellent way to determine if someone is like-minded and shares the same interests. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling:

hobbies, what do you do for fun, recreation, ford method, small talk People often love talking about what they do for enjoyment outside of work. Photo credit: Canva

What do you like to do for fun?

Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show/book)?

What are you up to this weekend?

Dreams

Learning someone’s hope for the future can tell you much about who they are on a deeper level. They may have just told you about their current job or how they spend their time. But, ultimately, what do they wish to do with their lives? Here’s how to ask someone about their dreams.

hopes and dreams, ford method, small talke Asking people about their hopes and dreams can be a great way to make more meaningful small talk.Photo credit: Canva

Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?

Where would you like to travel?

What’s something you’d like to try in the future?

Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?

Arzt also notes that you shouldn’t just be an interviewer. You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual take-and-give. “Pay attention to someone else's answers and think about how you can draw from your own experience to connect," she wrote. When you're feeling socially anxious, it can be hard to listen to the other person while also thinking about your own responses, so thinking of the FORD acronym for yourself and having something to share in each category ahead of time can be a way to avoid the dreaded awkward silence that sometimes happens during small talk.

— (@)

It can also be tricky to know how much you should be talking vs. how much you should be listening. If you're not sure how much to say during a conversation, follow the 43:57 rule. A numbers guy at Gong.io analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.

Even though this insight is from business calls, it applies to everyday social interactions. It's really about listening and making the other person feel special. After all, who doesn't love feeling heard and appreciated?

Small talk doesn't have to be torturous, even if it's something you don't look forward to. With a little preparation and some genuine curiosity, it might even become enjoyable as you make new connections with people.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Community

Three elderly nuns fled their retirement home, broke into their old convent, and refuse to leave

They enlisted a former student and a locksmith to help them pull it off.

Photo credit: Canva

Three elderly nuns broke into their old convent and refuse to leave

Three elderly Austrian nuns made a daring escape from their nursing home to return to their shuttered convent. Their decision to flee the Catholic care home was driven by frustration over having their choice taken away and the desire to return to live out their days in the only home they knew.

Sister Bernadette, 88, Sister Regina, 86, and Sister Rita, 82, have lived in the Schloss Goldenstein castle since they were very young adults. The castle was converted into a convent in 1877, and also served as an all-girls Catholic school. Sister Regina arrived at the convent in 1958, followed by Sister Rita around 1962. However, Sister Bernadette has been at the convent since she was a teenager, attending the girls' school. Their love for the Schloss Goldenstein convent runs deep, but their plans to live out their retirement there were abruptly interrupted.

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Before retirement, all of the nuns were teachers at the school, which began accepting boys in 2017, according to the BBC. In 2022, the convent and school were placed under the Archdiocese of Salzburg and the Reichersberg Abbey. The number of nuns continued to dwindle, eventually resulting in the dissolution of the convent in 2024. Still, the three elderly nuns were granted the "lifelong right of residence" in the convent for as long as their mental and physical abilities allowed them to live independently.

But the nuns' plans were upended without warning just before the official dissolution of the convent. They were moved to the Catholic care home without consultation or much choice. This caused the nuns to be sad about their circumstances and resulted in homesickness, so they collectively decided that they were going back home, whether they had permission to do so or not.

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Sister Bernadette tells the BBC, "We weren't asked. We had the right to stay here until the end of our lives and that was broken."

The three nuns packed their bags, and with the help of a few former students, they made the trek back to their convent, which had been abandoned. There was no electricity or running water when they returned, and their individual apartments had new locks placed on them. None of this deterred the nuns from returning to their home. They contacted a locksmith to get their doors open, and with the help of the community, the water and electricity have been partially restored.

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While the community and nuns are thrilled, Provost Markus Grasl from Reichersberg Abbey, who is the nuns' superior, is far from excited about their return. According to CNN, Provost Grasal exclaims, "The rooms in the monastery are no longer usable and in no way meet the requirements for orderly care. It is clear that an independent life in the Goldenstein Monastery is no longer possible, particularly due to the precarious health situation of the sisters.” He later added in a September statement that he fears the nuns "are overestimating themselves and that a medical emergency may occur.”

Turns out Provost Grasal may be the one underestimating not only the nuns, but the community that loves them. Former students have been bringing them groceries and other items that they need. They are checked on often by community members and a local physician.

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One of their former students, Sophie Tauscher, tells the BBC, "Goldenstein without the nuns is just not possible. When they need us, they just have to call us and we will be there, for sure. The nuns here changed so many lives in such a good way."

"I am so pleased to be home," Sister Rita tells the outlet. "I was always homesick at the care home. I am so happy and thankful to be back."

But Sister Bernadette has a bit of a stronger tone, saying, "I have been obedient all my life, but it was too much," before later adding, "Before I die in that old people's home, I would rather go to a meadow and enter eternity that way."

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Pop Culture

Gen Z guy hilariously tries schooling his mom on using the exclamation point emoji 'correctly'

It turns out most people are with the mom.

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No, this is not a case of old folks not being "with it."

Different generations rarely see eye to eye on many things, but no topic seems to be so heavily debated as how to properly communicate via texting.

In the one camp, you’ve got the youngins who grew up with texting specifically—Gen Alphas, Gen Zers, and even millennials to a certain extent. In the other camp, you’ve got boomers, Gen Xers, and again, millennials who might not have texted all their lives, but certainly have more working knowledge of basic grammar and written communication.

So who’s the real authority? Ask a million different people, and you’ll get a million different answers. This is certainly the situation we find ourselves in with this story.

Recently, Jason Saperstone, a 22-year-old publicist in New York City, whose content consists mainly of cheeky, satirical PowerPoint presentations, created one centered on educating his parents on proper texting etiquette. Yes. He was attempting to educate them.

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The primary learning point? The “exclamation” or “emphasis” reaction, aka “tapback” that you can attach to a message. According to Saperstone, his parents were using it wrong.

"Mom and Dad, I love you, but you need to get better at texting," he said at the beginning of his lesson. "So the thing we’re going to be working on today is how to use the emphasis."

According to Saperstone, you react with an emphasis when:

You agree with the sender.
You find yourself in the same situation.
Someone is ignoring you and you want their attention.

Is this news to you? Are you wondering if Gen Z actually understands what the original meaning behind an exclamation point even is? Or any punctuation, for that matter? You’re not alone.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids We can't even agree on basic grammar?! media0.giphy.com

Saperstone’s parents (rightfully…sorry, my bias is showing) thought it should be used to show excitement or enthusiasm. For example, when he let them know that he happened to be in the bar that Alex Cooper, host of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, was at, his mother used the emphasis tapback because she was “excited” for him.

“That would mean that you’re also at the bar with Alex Cooper," Saperstone argued, saying that she should have “liked” the message with a thumb’s up. Which, may I add, was previously labeled as "passive aggressive” by Gen Z…so why are we giving them carte blanche on all things text communications?

Luckily for Saperstone’s parents, folks rallied in the comment section either by agreeing with his mom’s interpretation…

“DISAGREE with the presenter and AGREE with mom. The emphasis on the Alex Cooper text conveys ‘holy sh**! That’s awesome!’”

“I kind of agree with Mom here! I use it like ‘omg, whaaat?’ Like in response to someone telling me something wild or exciting.”

“Not us all agreeing with Mom 💀 if you send me a thumbs up when I send you exciting news imma cry.”

…or by declaring that Gen Zers don’t hold ultimate authority on this topic.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids When it comes to texting…the kids are NOT alright. media4.giphy.com

“Taking communication advice from Gen Z is like taking financial advice from Boomers.”

“Ok emphasis is an exclamation point and in grammar (which hasn’t changed its rules) it expresses excitement or surprise. So the older generation uses it as intended and the younger generation is making up their own rules.”

“What cracks me up is the fact that he thinks his generation gets to decide the meaning of ‘!!’ or any other emoji. Just because that’s what you have decided that’s what it means doesn’t mean you’re correct, or that another meaning of it is necessarily wrong. It means different things to different generations, and that’s actually perfectly ok. 😊”

And honestly, it’s the latter point that really hits home here. When it comes to texting, we can all agree to disagree with certain nuances. But in no way, shape, or form does Gen Z get to enforce its own made-up linguistic rules upon the rest of the world. Sorry. You can reclaim low rise jeans if you want, but we’re keeping basic grammar.

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