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3 things to watch out for when you're trying to pick the right life partner.

Aka how to avoid a frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and messing up the most important decision of your life.

This post was originally published on Wait But Why.

To a frustrated single person, life can often feel like this:


And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are, on average, happier than single people and much happier than divorced people.

But a closer analysis reveals that if you split up “married people” into two groups based on marriage quality, “people in self-assessed poor marriages are fairly miserable, and much less happy than unmarried people, and people in self-assessed good marriages are even more happy than the literature reports.”

In other words, here’s what’s happening in reality:

Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position.

A single person who would like to find a great relationship is one step away from it, with their to-do list reading: “Find a great relationship.” People in unhappy relationships, on the other hand, are three leaps away, with a to-do list of: “Go through a soul-crushing break-up. Emotionally recover. Find a great relationship.”

Not as bad when you look at it that way, right?

All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course. It’s your life partner.

Thinking about how overwhelmingly important it is to pick the right life partner, though, is like thinking about how huge the universe really is or how terrifying death really is: It’s too intense to internalize the reality of it, so we just don’t think about it that hard and remain in slight denial about the magnitude of the situation.

Unlike death and the universe’s size, picking a life partner is fully in your control.

It's critical to be entirely clear on how big of a deal the decision really is and to thoroughly analyze the most important factors in making it.

So, how big of a deal is it?

Well, start by subtracting your age from 90. If you live a long life, that’s about the number of years you’re going to spend with your current or future life partner, give or take a few. No matter who you are, that’s a lot of time — and almost the entirety of the rest of your one existence.

(Sure, people get divorced, but you don’t think you will. A recent study shows that 86% of young adults assume their current or future marriage will be forever, and I doubt older people feel much differently. So we’ll proceed under that assumption.)

And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things.

You're choosing your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.

Given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy?

It turns out that there are a bunch of factors working against us:

1. People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship.

Studies have shown people to be generally bad, when single, at predicting what later turn out to be their actual relationship preferences. One study found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event.

This shouldn’t be a surprise — in life, you usually don’t get good at something until you’ve done it a bunch of times. Unfortunately, not many people have a chance to be in more than a few, if any, serious relationships before they make their big decision. There’s just not enough time. And given that a person’s partnership persona and relationship needs are often quite different from the way they are as a single person, it’s hard as a single person to really know what you want or need from a relationship.

2. Society has it all wrong and gives us terrible advice.

→ Society encourages us to stay uneducated and let romance be our guide.

If you’re running a business, conventional wisdom states that you’re a much more effective business owner if you study business in school, create well thought-out business plans, and analyze your business’s performance diligently. This is logical, because that’s the way you proceed when you want to do something well and minimize mistakes.

But if someone went to school to learn about how to pick a life partner and take part in a healthy relationship, if they charted out a detailed plan of action to find one, and if they kept their progress organized rigorously in a spreadsheet, society says they’re A) an over-rational robot, B) way too concerned about this, and C) a huge weirdo.

When it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best. If a business owner took society’s dating advice for her business, she’d probably fail, and if she succeeded, it would be partially due to good luck — and that’s how society wants us to approach dating.

Society places a stigma on intelligently expanding our search for potential partners.

In a study on what governs our dating choices more, our preferences or our current opportunities, opportunities wins hands down — our dating choices are “98% a response ... to market conditions and just 2% immutable desires. Proposals to date tall, short, fat, thin, professional, clerical, educated, uneducated people are all more than nine-tenths governed by what’s on offer that night.”

In other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might be to those candidates. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way.

But good old society frowns upon that, and people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site. The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool. Fortunately, this stigma is diminishing with time, but that it’s there at all is a reflection of how illogical the socially accepted dating rulebook is.

Society rushes us.

In our world, the major rule is to get married before you’re too old — and “too old” varies from 25–35, depending on where you live. The rule should be “whatever you do, don’t marry the wrong person,” but society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children. It makes no sense — the former is one step away from a happy marriage, while the latter must either settle for permanent unhappiness or endure a messy divorce just to catch up to where the single person is.

3. Our biology is doing us no favors.

→ Human biology evolved a long time ago and doesn’t understand the concept of having a deep connection with a life partner for 50 years.

When we start seeing someone and feel the slightest twinge of excitement, our biology gets into “okay let’s do this” mode and bombards us with chemicals designed to get us to mate (lust), fall in love (the Honeymoon Phase), and then commit for the long run (attachment). Our brains can usually override this process if we’re just not that into someone, but for all those middle-ground cases where the right move is probably to move on and find something better, we often succumb to the chemical roller coaster and end up getting engaged.

→ Biological clocks are a bitch.

For a woman who wants to have biological children with her husband, she has one very real limitation in play, which is the need to pick the right life partner by 40, give or take. This is just a shitty fact and makes an already hard process one notch more stressful. Still, if it were me, I’d rather adopt children with the right life partner than have biological children with the wrong one.


So when you take a bunch of people who aren’t that good at knowing what they want in a relationship, surround them with a society that tells them they have to find a life partner but that they should under-think, under-explore, and hurry up, and combine that with biology that drugs us as we try to figure it out and promises to stop producing children before too long ... what do you get?

A frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and a lot of people messing up the most important decision of their life.

Let’s take a look at some of the common types of people who fall victim to all of this and end up in unhappy relationships.

Meet "Overly Romantic Ronald."

Overly Romantic Ronald’s downfall is believing that love is enough reason on its own to marry someone. Romance can be a great part of a relationship, and love is a key ingredient in a happy marriage, but without a bunch of other important things, it’s simply not enough.

The overly romantic person repeatedly ignores the little voice that tries to speak up when he and his girlfriend are fighting constantly or when he seems to feel much worse about himself these days than he used to before the relationship, shutting the voice down with thoughts like “Everything happens for a reason and the way we met couldn’t have just been coincidence” and “I’m totally in love with her, and that’s all that matters” — once an overly romantic person believes he’s found his soul mate, he stops questioning things, and he’ll hang onto that belief all the way through his 50 years of unhappy marriage.


Meet "Fear-Driven Frida."

Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner. Unfortunately, the way society is set up, fear starts infecting all kinds of otherwise-rational people, sometimes as early as the mid-20s. The types of fear our society (and parents, and friends) inflict upon us — fear of being the last single friend, fear of being an older parent, sometimes just fear of being judged or talked about — are the types that lead us to settle for a not-so-great partnership. The irony is that the only rational fear we should feel is the fear of spending the latter two-thirds of life unhappily, with the wrong person — the exact fate the fear-driven people risk because they’re trying to be risk-averse.


Meet "Externally Influenced Ed."

Externally Influenced Ed lets other people play way too big of a part in the life partner decision. The choosing of a life partner is deeply personal, enormously complicated, different for everyone, and almost impossible to understand from the outside, no matter how well you know someone. As such, other people’s opinions and preferences really have no place getting involved, other than an extreme case involving mistreatment or abuse.

The saddest example of this is someone breaking up with a person who would have been the right life partner because of external disapproval or a factor the chooser doesn’t actually care about (religion is a common one) but feels compelled to stick to for the sake of family insistence or expectations.

It can also happen the opposite way, where everyone in someone’s life is thrilled with his relationship because it looks great from the outside, and even though it’s not actually that great from the inside, Ed listens to others over his own gut and ties the knot.


Meet "Shallow Sharon."

Shallow Sharon is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. There are a bunch of boxes that she needs to have checked — things like his height, job prestige, wealth level, accomplishments, or maybe a novelty item like being foreign or having a specific talent.

Everyone has certain on-paper boxes they’d like checked, but a strongly ego-driven person prioritizes appearances and résumés above even the quality of her connection with her potential life partner when weighing things.

If you want a fun new term, a significant other whom you suspect was chosen more because of the boxes they checked than for their personality underneath is a “Scantron boyfriend” or a “Scantron wife,” etc. — because they correctly fill out all the bubbles. I’ve gotten some good mileage out of that one.


Meet "Selfish Stanley."

Selfish Stanley come in three sometimes-overlapping varieties:

1. The “My Way or the Highway” Type

This person cannot handle sacrifice or compromise. She believes her needs and desires and opinions are simply more important than her partner’s, and she needs to get her way in almost any big decision. In the end, she doesn’t want a legitimate partnership, she wants to keep her single life and have someone there to keep her company.

This person inevitably ends up with at best a super easy-going person, and at worst, a pushover with a self-esteem issue, and sacrifices a chance to be part of a team of equals, almost certainly limiting the potential quality of her marriage.

2. The Main Character

The Main Character’s tragic flaw is being massively self-absorbed. He wants a life partner who serves as both his therapist and biggest admirer, but is mostly uninterested in returning either favor. Each night, he and his partner discuss their days, but 90% of the discussion centers on his day — after all, he’s the main character of the relationship. The issue for him is that by being incapable of tearing himself away from his personal world, he ends up with a sidekick as his life partner, which makes for a pretty boring 50 years.

3. The Needs-Driven

Everyone has needs, and everyone likes those needs to be met, but problems arise when the meeting of needs — she cooks for me, he’ll be a great father, she’ll make a great wife, he’s rich, she keeps me organized, he’s great in bed — becomes the main grounds for choosing someone as a life partner. Those listed things are all great perks, but that’s all they are: perks. And after a year of marriage, when the needs-driven person is now totally accustomed to having her needs met and it’s no longer exciting, there better be a lot more good parts of the relationship she’s chosen or she’s in for a dull ride.

The main reason most of the above types end up in unhappy relationships is that they’re consumed by a motivating force.

That force doesn’t take into account the reality of what a life partnership is and what makes it a happy thing.

So what makes a happy life partnership? Visit Wait But Why for Part 2 of this post.

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5 ways people are going all in this week

From the silliest to the most sentimental, there are so many ways people are going “all in” on the internet this week. Here are our five favorites.

5 ways people are going all in this week
5 ways people are going all in this week
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What does it mean to go “all in” on something? We’ll tell you: Whether it’s an elaborately-themed birthday party for your dog (like this one) or a guy learning Mandarin to propose to his girlfriend, going “all in” means total commitment. There’s no holding back, no second guessing—just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. When people go “all in,” something truly special happens as a result.

In this roundup, we’ve scoured the internet for the best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are silly, some are sentimental, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100% is the only way to truly leave a mark on this world. Buckle up: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

This guy's passion for lip syncing 

@pokemonmasterzo every time I see an edit to this mix it’s almost guaranteed tears #beyonce #tyrant #allnight #fyp ♬ original sound - dannyvarr

We all lip-sync from time to time. Sometimes we even get a little bit into it. And then there’s this guy: TikTok creator Pokemonmasterzo, who goes viral every other week re-enacting passionate lip-syncs of trending songs. No matter what song people are listening to this week—a Beyonce mash-up, an old Radiohead hit, or a celebratory rendition of “Love Story” in honor of Taylor Swift’s recent engagement—this guy goes completely all in with hand gestures, dance moves, and quite often even a shot of his face superimposed on the screen (also singing!). His picture is basically next to the definition of “enthusiastic” in the dictionary. We can't get enough.

This trading experiment, brought to you by All In

Remember that story about a guy who traded a paperclip for a house? In a nutshell, Canadian blogger Kyle MacDonald started a year-long project back in 2025 to take one red paperclip and keep exchanging it for things of increasing value until he ended up with a house. With the paperclip, MacDonald traded for a pen. With the pen, he traded up for a hand-sculpted doorknob. With the doorknob, he traded up for a Coleman camp stove (with fuel included). On and on it went until 2006, when he finally traded a role in a movie for a two-story farmhouse in Kipling, Saskatchewan. It’s basically a testament to what you can accomplish if you just have dedication, creativity, and vision (aka, you go absolutely all in).

This week, our friends at All In are starting their own version of the paperclip trend, starting with an All In bar and trading up to see what they get. (Though we have to say the phrase “trading up” is debatable, because these bars are delicious.) Check it out and see where they end up!

Another thing you should check out: This incredible deal where you can get a free(!!!) box of All In organic snack bars. Just sign up with your phone number on Aisle, grab two free boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a pic of your receipt and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box, and that’s it! Enjoy.

This "chicken jockey" ice skating routine 

@k.and.miss.congeniality 🐓⛸️🌟Chicken Jockey from Minnesota 🌟⛸️🐓 @U.S. Figure Skating #nationalshowcase ♬ Holding Out for a Hero - yourmusic4ever💯

If you have children over the age of, say, preschool, you’ve likely heard the words “chicken jockey,” a term from Minecraft, a popular video game in which players can build, create, and interact with others in a 3D world made up of blocks.

A little background: A “chicken jockey” in the Minecraft universe is when, in the course of the game, a baby zombie will randomly spawn onscreen, riding a chicken and attacking the players. (I don’t get it either, I just had to have a child explain this to me just now.)

Anyway, in the Minecraft movie, which premiered earlier this year, there’s a scene where a chicken jockey drops into the arena and Jack Black’s character shouts “Chicken Jockey!” The moment quickly became a fan favorite and turned into something of a movement, where moviegoers would scream “Chicken jockey!” and erupt in chaos, throwing popcorn and just generally going wild (you could even say they were going all in).

Fast-forward to today, and chicken jockey is still a popular term among kids—so much so that this young performer created an ice-skating routine to honor the chicken jockey moment, complete with a full-body costume. That’s right—she ice skated in an inflatable chicken jockey costume. Talk about dedication. The creativity, the enthusiasm, and the cultural relevance truly make this a performance to behold.

This woman's transformation—an entire year in the making

@tiszfit.cpt And I always made sure I was on incline 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 Was it hard in the beginning? Hell yeah sometimes I would only sprint for 10 secs at a time But I knew if I kept doing it I would get faster , stronger & build my endurance And quess what I did ! Keep going sis !! It’s possible with consistency! #gymtok #motivation #fypシ ♬ Otis nola bounce part 2 - VIP

There’s something beautiful about a person who shows up for herself, day in and day out. In this viral TikTok, creator @tiszfit.cpt recorded herself running on a treadmill in her garage every day, ultimately reaching a goal of eighty (!!!!) pounds lost. Going all in to achieve your goals is one thing to celebrate for sure, but it’s just as meaningful to watch her confidence gradually grow throughout the video. As she continues to run, her garage door opens little by little, until she’s working out unashamedly in open view of her neighborhood. You can’t help but be incredibly proud.

The most tear-jerking college send-off you've ever seen

Finally, here’s one of the most thoughtful (and meaningful) college send-offs we’ve ever seen. In this video, Ben (@its_benzram) walks into the hallway of his parent’s house and finds all of his childhood toys lined up along the walls leading to the staircase. The reason? They’ve all come to “say goodbye” and wish him well as he goes to college. Not only are all his stuffed animals there, his family made handmade signs (“We Love You”) and created a collage of pictures of Ben throughout the years alongside his childhood toys. Parents: Get a box of tissues before you watch this. Not kidding.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts.

via Royalty Now / Instagram
Artist's gallery shows us what historical figures would look like if they were alive today

One of the major reasons we feel disassociated from history is that it can be hard to relate to people who lived hundreds, let alone thousands, of years ago. Artist Becca Saladin, 29, is bridging that gap by creating modern-looking pictures of historical figures that show us what they'd look like today.

"History isn't just a series of stories, it was real people with real feelings. I think the work brings people a step closer to that," she said according to Buzzfeed.

Saladin has always loved archaeology and always wished to see see what historical events actually looked like. She uses her digital art skills to do exactly that.

She started her Instagram page after wanting to see her favorite historical figure, Anne Boleyn, in real life instead of artist's depiction.

history, historical figures, art, artists, paintings, portraits, abraham lincoln, shakespeare, anne boleyn, marie antoinette A contemporary painting of Anne BoleynBy English school - Public Domain,

"I wanted to know if she could come to life from the few pale, flat portraits we have of her," she wrote for Bored Panda. "I started the account to satisfy my own curiosity about what members of the past would look like if they were standing right in front of me."

This is no AI gimmick. Saladin, in addition to being a great artist, is also a student of history. She consults existing portraiture, reads letters, studies the period, and examines both life and death masks (wax or plaster facial molds) of her subjects. She understands period art, as well. In her recreation of Marie Antoinette, Saladin writes, "It’s pretty obvious how stylized 18th century French portraits are; the huge eyes, tiny noses, and pinched lips." Her image of Antoinette, then, needed some "facial correction." I'd like to see AI do that.

Her artwork has earned her over 375,000 followers on Instagram. "I always struggled with finding a true hobby, so this has been such a fun creative outlet for me," she said. "It's really cool to have found a hobby that combines my passions for both art and history."

Saladin does brilliant job at giving historical figures modern clothing, hairstyles and makeup. She also shows them in places you'd find modern celebrities or politicians. Her modern version of Marie Antoinette appears to be posing for paparazzi while her Mona Lisa is photographed on a busy city street.

Here's a sampling of some of Saladin's modern representations of historical figures.

King Tut

Genghis Khan



King Henry VII



Louis XV



Agrippina the Younger

Queen Nefertiti

Ben Franklin

Julius Caesar


William Shakespeare


Marie Antoinette


Saladin's work has connected deeply with hundreds of thousands of online fans and followers. Her images have brought history to life in a way most of us have rarely experienced. There's something about seeing Abraham Lincoln in a dapper sweater with modern beard and hairstyles that makes him seem much more like a real person than any official portrait ever could.

Saladin began sharing portraits online years and years ago, but continues to this day. There's always more to discover, new ways to push her medium forward, and more history to unearth.

This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

Internet

These women in Miami are scratching backs for money and business is booming

Got an itch you just can't scratch? These ladies have got your back–literally.

These women in Miami are scratching backs for money and business is booming

Sometimes you find yourself with an uncomfortable itch right in the middle of your back that you can't seem to reach without assistance. Or you just want someone to slowly and gently rake their nails across your back due to the soothing nature of it all. Either way, there's a salon in Miami where the ladies make a living scratching people's backs. It's not small change either.

The back scratching sessions cost $75 to $129, depending on whether you opt for a 30-minute or 60-minute session, and they don't stop at your back. Get your mind out of the gutter. The only funny business going on is if they accidentally hit a ticklish spot. People find the sound, feeling, and entire experience of back scratching therapeutic, so Toni George and her daughter, Brittany Pashun George, created Scratcher Girls. A business offering full-body scratching.

back scratching; touch starvation; touch depravation; the scratcher girls; back scratch business Relief at last: back scratcher and hands team up!Photo credit: Canva

So what's the deal with paying money to have your back scratched? Well, the reality is that humans are touch-starved, also known as touch-deprived. Jordan Madison, LCMFT and founder of Therapy is My J.A.M. explains, "Touch deprivation is also referred to as touch starvation or skin hunger. It occurs when you’re not receiving physical touch from other living beings. It doesn’t have to just be sensual or romantic touch either. Receiving touch from family members and friends is just as important. Some symptoms of touch deprivation include feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, difficulty sleeping, and low relationship satisfaction."

In recent years, there has been a trend of entrepreneurs raking in big bucks to address this touch deficit humans are experiencing. With the influx of remote jobs, more people living further away from family members, and increased usage of social media to feel connected, a need arose for physical touch. Due to this unique demand, professional cuddlers, hand holders and back scratchers have gone from being a decent side hustle to a full-blown business.

@scratcher_girls #creatorsearchinsights Reconnecting with your inner child, one gentle trace at a time. Let the soothing art of body tracing and scratch therapy bring a little healing nostalgia and comfort into your world. 🤗 • • #inner #innerchildhealing #fyp #calm ♬ original sound - Scratcher Girls ASMR

Scratcher Girls didn't just start; they've been in business since 2010 and according to Axios Miami, all the staff members are women. The ladies keep their nails well-manicured and have their sharp nails professionally cleaned and filled between sessions. Scratching has several positive benefits outside of the relaxing sensation some may get from the activity. A 2015 study by Frontiers in Psychology explains that some use light scratching of the skin as a self-soothing mechanism, as it releases oxytocin and dopamine, which can help decrease anxiety and stress.

A viral video put them on the radar of even more clients after a YouTuber flew to Miami specifically to experience the services they offer. That's when Toni George, the founder of Scratcher Girls, explains how she came up with the idea, saying, "the scratch therapy concept was actually birthed from my experience as a child. I absolutely love the human touch, first off. And I absolutely love to have my back or my head caressed, scratched, whatever. What if we turn this into a business? Would anyone else pay to have this done?"

The answer to her then hypothetical question has been a resounding, "yes." Not only would someone pay to have this done, but apparently, people would fly hundreds of miles to have someone drag their nails across their backs. The family owned business posts videos to their social media pages with the consent of their customers, targeting the ASMR community, which drives a lot of their business. People can't seem to get enough of the Scratcher Girls, and viewers who haven't yet had the pleasure of experiencing the scratching for themselves are ready to empty their bank accounts.

Under a video of a scratch session, one woman says, "I would stay there till every card I have declines."

Another says, "Take every piece of my money. And I would need a driver to get home."

"My best friend and I have talked about this for so many years on how we would pay for somebody to do this but we never knew what you would call it and how to find somebody that does it. My mom used to do that when I was a child to put me to sleep every night," someone else admits.

Comments under their ASMR videos pour in from all over the world with people asking where they can find a service like that near them. Unfortunately for those people, Scratcher Girls is the only business that offers "scratch therapy" in the entire world, so if you're wanting to experience the pleasure of being lightly scratched, you'll have to book a flight to Miami.

Leya comes up to Mats Janzon on his kayak for cuddles.

When Mats Janzon found Leya, she was just a tiny baby curled up alone in the grass near his home in Sweden. Janzon was out on a quiet walk in the woods when he heard a soft peeping sound and saw it was a baby otter. He kept his distance for several hours, hoping her mother would return. When no one came, he searched the area and found that her mother had been killed on a major road nearby. Leya appeared to be starving and barely breathing, and he knew she wouldn't make it without help.

Janzon had volunteered with animal rescues while working as a pilot in Cyprus, but after moving back to Sweden several years ago, he felt a pull to leave his job and spend more time in nature. "This shift led me to focus on helping wildlife," Janzon tells Upworthy. "I’ve cared for various animals, mostly birds, that seemed to find me. Huginn, a crow I rescued, stayed with me for three years before he was ready to join his own flock in the wild."

@matsjanzon

The story of Leya #ottersoftiktok #OtterBuddy #WildlifeTikTok #ViralNature #CuteAnimals #TikTokNature #FurryFriends #AnimalBesties #KayakAdventures #WildlifeLover #wildanimals #naturevibes #fyp #otter #RescueStories

However, Janzon had never raised an otter before and didn't know what to do. He was scared, as Leya needed care around the clock, but she began to thrive and quickly bonded with him. She would cry when he left the room and curl up in his lap to feel safe.

"The first time she let me pet her, I remember thinking this can't be real," Janzon told the TikTok account SoulPaws Tails. "It felt like a dream, this wild, free otter choosing to trust me."

Still, Janzon kept second-guessing himself, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Otters are wild animals, and he knew Leya couldn't stay indoors forever. So, starting with a plastic kiddie pool in the backyard, Janzon helped Leya learn to swim. She was awkward in the water at first, but little by little, day by day, she grew more confident.

@matsjanzon

Two years ago, our sweet otter pup Leya took her very first splash in a cozy baby pool, a moment that still melts our hearts! At just a few weeks old, tiny Leya was all curiosity and wobbly paws as she explored the shallow water filled with colorful floating toys. 🌊✨ Her first cautious pats at the surface turned into excited splashes as she chased the toys. Watching her dive and twirl, already showing off her natural otter grace, was pure magic. Now, at 2 years old, Leya’s likely out in the wild, thriving and possibly finding a safe territory for her own pups. 🌿 We’re so proud of the strong, playful otter she’s become, and we’ll always cherish those early days of her splashing adventures in that little pool. 💙 Here’s to Leya, ruling the rivers and raising her own little swimmers! 🦦🌟 #Throwback #FirstSwim #OtterMemories #WildAndFree #fyp #foryourpage

Leya followed Janzon everywhere. Soon she became part of the family, which included another rescued crow and a cat. The animals would play hide and seek, chasing one another around the bushes. Janzon says it was like something out of a children's storybook.

Once Leya was totally comfortable in the water, he took her down to the lake. She looked up at Janzon as if to ask, "What now?" He nodded at her, and she jumped into the water. He realized that in some way he'd become a father to her.

"I named Leya while sitting with her on my lap, gazing out over the lake in a near-meditative state," Janzon tells Upworthy. "I quietly asked her, 'Who are you? What should I call you?' The name Leya popped into my mind, and when I said it aloud, she instantly looked up at me. That’s when I knew it was the name meant for her."

But as Leya grew, so did her wild instincts. She began to wander farther and stay out longer, and Janzon knew it was time to let her go. He describes it as "a strange kind of love—part pride, part heartbreak" but she started living the life she was meant to live.

@soulpaws_tails

This Otter Hope Into My Kayak Every Morning Just To Say "Hello". Beautiful And Heartwarming Story of Leya The Otter #animals #animalsoftiktok #tiktok #otter #tiktok

"Leya is an old soul, brimming with energy and positivity, always finding opportunities in everything," Janzon says. "Nothing seems impossible for her. She’s been a true inspiration and a dear friend during my transition from a conventional career to a life focused on something greater, not just working to pay bills, but making a difference by helping all living beings in our community."

At some point, Leya started staying away for days at a time. But even then, when Janzon was out for a morning kayak ride on the lake, he'd see her nose pop out of the water and start moving towards him. Leya knew he was there and would swim up and climb into the kayak for cuddles and a ride.

@matsjanzon

#fyp #foryourpage #otter #morningmotivation #relaxing #RescueStories #ViralNature #wildanimals #morningvibes #sunrise #WildlifeTikTok

Sometimes she'd even bring a snack with her:

@matsjanzon

#fyp #foryourpage #otter #morningmotivation #relaxing #RescueStories #ViralNature #morningvibes #wildanimals

And sometimes she'd return after nearly a week away for a little snuggle time:

@matsjanzon

Someone came home tired after 6days in the wild 🦦❤️‍🩹 #foryourpage #fyp #morningmotivation #RescueStories #otter

People love seeing Leya's bond with her human and Janzon's peaceful videos that seem like something out of a dream:

"Sorry, which fantasy world is this and can I have the Google maps link to get there?"

"I wish the world could be like this."

"She’s your significant otter. 😂😂"

"You are so lucky to be friends with a cute otter who also gets to live her own life. She chooses to be with you. 🥰"

"She’s just living her best life and I think you are too - good luck to you and enjoy it. 😊"

otter, leya the otter, otter rescue, mats janzon, tame otter Leya and Mats hanging out in his kayak.Courtesy of Mats Janzon

Mats says Leya is officially living her wild life now.

"I last saw Leya at the end of May," Janzon tells Upworthy. "Initially, we thought she’d find her own territory before winter, but after several long trips, she chose to stay under the house while the lake was frozen. When spring arrived, she resumed her search, staying away for up to 10 days before returning for brief visits, lasting a few hours to a day. Her last visit was unusually long, over a week. I suspect she may have been pregnant, eating heartily to prepare for a longer stay in a new territory farther away."

Janzon wants people to know that as much as he loves Leya, she's not a pet. "When an animal trusts you, it creates a bond deeper than words can explain," he told SoulPaws Tails. "If you're thinking of adopting or rescuing an animal, especially a wild one, please do it with your whole heart and full responsibility. Do your homework, talk to professionals, ask questions, learn everything you can about animals like Leya. They aren't pets. They're living, feeling souls that deserve to be loved and respected for who they are."

You can follow Mats Janzon and see more videos of Leya on TikTok.

An officer worker balancing a pencil on her lip.

Older generations often claim that “kids these days” are lazy, narcissistic, and emotional, and it's a tale as old as time. Heck, letters dating back centuries show people whinging about the younger generation. “Our sires’ age was worse than our grandsires’. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt,” — Book III of Odes, Horace, 20 BC.

There’s a good reason why older generations always look down on the younger ones. It's because young people tend to be lazier than older people, because they don't have the pressure to keep a roof over their head and feed a family. Younger individuals are also more emotional because people generally gain greater emotional maturity with age. Furthermore, it gives old folks incredible joy to tell a young, good-looking person with the world in front of them that they’re no good. Today, the Boomers will degrade Gen Z, and one day, Gen Z will look down upon Gen Beta or whatever term we will use to defile the terrible tech-addicted twerps born in the 2040s. It's the circle of life.


Professor says Gen Z has a good reason to be lazy

However, Suzy Welch, 66, a younger Baby Boomer, believes that Gen Z has some good reasons to be lazy, and they all started with the people in her generation. Suzy Welch is an award-winning NYU Stern School of Business professor, acclaimed management researcher, and New York Times best-selling author, most recently with Becoming You: A Proven Method for Crafting Your Authentic Life and Career, which is also a #1 bestseller on Amazon.

@becomingyouwithsuzywelch

We all know it—Gen Z has a reputation problem. But maybe they’re misunderstood? Dr. Suzy Welch (NYU Stern Professor and NYT best-selling author) shares her take on Gen Z and millenials in the workplace, and why their lack of enthusiasm signals something much deeper—a lack of hope for the future. #genz #millennial #burnout

Welch believes that Gen Z doesn’t have a lot of faith that their hard work will pay off. “Gen Z [has] no reason to believe that they’re ever going to have economic security,” Suzy Welch, professor of management practice at New York University, said on a recent podcast. “I don’t know about you, but I’m old enough that when I was in college, I thought, ‘For sure, I’m going to have more money than my parents.’ And that ‘If I work very very hard I’m going to buy a house someday,’ and this was the assumption.”

Gen Z isn't excited for the future

Gen Z has a good reason to believe that their efforts won’t come to much. Housing prices are far outpacing wage growth, the cost of living continues to rise, and there are genuine concerns that AI will significantly impact many jobs.


Furthermore, the specter of climate change has cast a dark shadow over the future of Gen Z. The Silent Generation and Baby Boomers may not be around to experience the truly catastrophic effects of climate change, but Gen Z will likely bear the brunt of ecological disaster. A study led by scientists in the United Kingdom and the Netherlands found that by 2035, we will reach a point of no return, after which it’ll be unlikely that we can prevent Earth’s temperature from rising by 2 degrees or 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit, ushering in a new era of global disasters.

“A lot of Gen Z [are] just saying ‘I’m not even sure we’re going to be alive in 20 years because of global warming.’ And ‘The world is probably going to end anyway because of the stupidity of decisions your generations made,’” Welch continued.

Ultimately, Welch hopes that before older generations criticize Gen Z for having a skeptical attitude towards work and the future, they cut them some slack and consider looking at the world through their eyes. “It’s very very hard,” Welch said. “So I think it comes out looking in a way that we don’t understand, the sort of place of vulnerability and sadness that it’s kinda coming from.”

Some American names sound really funny to Mandarin speakers.

When you see a list of the year's most popular baby names, what you're really looking at are the most common baby names in a specific country or culture. If you live in the U.S., you likely know a whole lot of kids named Olivia, Emma, Liam, and Noah, but if you live in Thailand or Kyrgyzstan or Botswana, you probably don't.

Simply saying common names in different countries can sometimes result in hilarity. A name that sounds beautiful and has a lovely meaning in one language might sound odd and mean something very different in another. For instance, Odd is a common name in Norway, but it sounds…well, odd to and English ear. The former president of Vietnam had the last name Phuc, which surely led to some awkward moments for Americans who had to address "President Phuc." (The "u" is pronounced more like the "oo" sound, but if you'd never heard it said, you wouldn't know.)

Chinese language and culture instructor Dr. Candise Lin is sharing American names that sound funny to Mandarin speakers because of what they mean when pronounced with Chinese phonetics, and it's a hoot.

- YouTube www.youtube.com


1. Robin (pronounced Luo ben) = Running Naked

2. Robinson (pronounced Luo ben shen) = God of Running Naked

3. Nelson (pronounced Niao shen) = God of Pee

4. Benson (pronounced Ben shen) = God of Dumb

5. Mason (pronounced Mei shen) = God of Beauty

6. Nicholas (pronounced Ni kou si le) = You Are So Stingy

nicholas cage, names, surprised, language, translations Surprised Nicolas Cage GIF Giphy

7. Isabella (pronounced Yi sheng bei la) = The Doctor Got Arrested

8. Dylan (pronounced Di neng) = Low IQ

9. Nancy (pronounced Nan si) = Difficult to Die

10. Robert (pronounced Luo bo) = Carrot

11. Ashley (pronounced Ao si ni) = Wear You Down to Death

12. Logan (pronounced Nao geng) = Brain Stroke

13. Tiffany (pronounced Ti fa ni) = Kick Your Ass

tiffany, names, translations, chinese, mandarin Tiffany Darwish GIF by New Kids On The Block Giphy

14. Martha (pronounced Ma hua) = Fried Dough Twist

15. Jeff (pronounced Jie fu) = Brother-in-law

16. Daniel (pronounced Da niu) = Big Shot

17. Gordon (pronounced Gou dan) = Dog Balls

18. Melanie (pronounce Mei ren li) = Nobody Cares

A few of these names actually seem pretty rockstar in Mandarin. Mason as "God of Beauty'? Nothing wrong with that. Nancy being "Difficult to Die?" Heck yeah. But some are particularly unfortunate. God of Pee? Yeesh. Low IQ? Ouch.

Of course, the names in Chinese are based on transliterations that aren't exact. English and Mandarin have different sounds, so many of them are just the closest approximations that there are in terms of pronunciation. (But then along comes Tiffany, kicking ass as clear as day.)

chinese characters, china, mandarin, language, english Chinese characters aren't phonetic in the way that English letters are.Photo credit: Canva

Naturally, people who have some beef with people who bear some of these names are having a heyday, with comments like "Ashley actually makes a lot of sense," or "Not Gordon Ramsay actually being called Dog Ballz Ramsay." But mostly people are just delighted to see how names they see as totally "normal" mean hilarious things in Chinese.

As one person wrote, "This was awesome and about time! Chinese names get a lot of humor attention in English circles. It’s nice to know English names can also be a bit ridiculous in Chinese." It's likely that many of us have never thought about how American names might sound in other countries.

But names not translating well is truly a universal phenomenon, and as long as we're all laughing about it together, finding the funny when things—even our names—get lost in translation can be a fun way to connect across cultures.