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You don't have to march in Pride to make a difference for LGBTQ people. Here's how.

You don't have to be at a Pride march to make a difference.

In June 1969, a group of New Yorkers decided they'd had enough.

Patrons of the Stonewall Inn, an LGBTQ bar in Greenwich Village, stood up to police officers who'd reportedly been repeatedly harassing and targeting them for their sexual orientations and gender identities. The demonstrations that ensued sparked the beginning of the modern LGBTQ civil rights movement.

The exterior of the Stonewall Inn in New York City. Photo by Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images.

The Stonewall Inn riots inspired President Clinton to declare June "Gay and Lesbian Pride Month" in 1998. In 2009, President Obama expanded on the recognition, deeming it "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month," as it remains today.

This June feels different though.

After years of having an ally in the White House, President Trump's administration — unchecked by a GOP Congress — is threatening to roll back rights for LGBTQ people. It's crucial we stand in solidarity.

If you can make it out to a Pride march in your area, excellent. But even if you can't (or just despise big crowds), you can still support the movement.

1. Help buy a bus ticket for a friend so they can go to the March for Equality in Washington, D.C.

LGBTQ Pride marches are happening in cities from coast to coast. But the most notable one this year will unfold in the nation's capital on June 11. The Equality March for Unity and Pride is mobilizing queer people and their allies in support of LGBTQ rights under a new administration that wants to take us backward.

You can do this anywhere, but if you happen to know someone in New York City who is interested in going but doesn't have the travel funds, you can buy them a bus ticket on Grindr's "Pride Ride" to D.C.

2. If you're visiting the East Coast this summer, treat yo'self to a scoop of big, gay ice cream.

There's nothing explicitly gay about the tasty treats at the Big Gay Ice Cream Shops in New York City and Philadelphia, of course. But the company, which started as a food truck in 2009 before expanding into storefronts, has been a proud supporter of the Ali Forney Center, a nonprofit that helps homeless LGBTQ youth.

When you scream for (big, gay) ice cream, you're also helping the business raise awareness and resources for young people in need. And that's a big, gay win-win.

3. Snatch up one of these glorious Pride shirts in support of LGBTQ youth in need.

Through an initiative created by Represent, 100% of profits from these shirts will benefit The Trevor Project, which focuses on suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth, as well as the NOH8 campaign, which utilizes social media platforms to promote equality.

4. Or, if you're a basketball fan, maybe these Pride shirts are more up your alley.

Photo courtesy of the NBA/WNBA.

The NBA and WNBA partnered with GLSEN, an organization helping to make our schools safer and more inclusive for LGBTQ students, to create Pride shirts for every pro team. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the nonprofit.

A critical component in ensuring classrooms are inclusive is recognizing the accomplishments of LGBTQ people throughout history.

5. Commit this month to reading just one Wikipedia entry a day on LGBTQ history and queer pioneers.

School curriculums often gloss over the history of, and challenges faced by, marginalized groups. The LGBTQ community is no different.

It makes sense that many of us haven't learned about people like Marsha P. Johnson, Dan Choi, Edith Windsor, and Harvey Milk — some of the trailblazers who helped us get to where we are today.

Lt. Dan Choi, who came out as gay in 2009 while serving in the armed forces, became a pioneer in ending the military's homophobic "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.  Photo by Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images.

Each day in June, take 10 minutes to read up on a famous LGBTQ figure or moment in history. Your teammates at the next trivia night will thank you for it.

6. Now that you're up on your queer history, email a local school or school district and ask that the students there are too.

Last year, California became the first state to mandate LGBTQ-inclusive curriculums in its history and social science requirements. As Vice reported, it may set off a chain reaction too, as other states look to include more diverse perspectives and historical figures in their classroom instructions.

Send an email — or attend a school board meeting or bring it up at the next PTA meeting — to get this issue on the radar in your city, if it's not already.

7. Drop in to a restaurant or store that supports its LGBTQ employees — and avoid the places that don't.

The Human Rights Campaign releases a Corporate Equality Index each year studying and ranking businesses based on how supportive their workplace policies are for LGBTQ people.

Many different factors — including if a company highlights LGBTQ protections in its anti-discrimination policies or if it offers transgender-inclusive health care benefits — are considered in the index.

Target — which adopted pro-LGBTQ policies and created specific Pride products for customers in recent years — was a top-rated company for its inclusive workplace in 2017.

Even if you're not marching in Pride, the way you spend your dollars makes a difference.

8. If you're not LGBTQ and new to this whole Pride thing, set aside 30 minutes to start learning about being a good ally.

Is your child — or your mom or dad — LGBTQ? What about a colleague or friend at school? Do you want to be there for transgender people in your community, but not sure where to start? GLAAD compiled helpful guides for allies to do their best supporting the LGBTQ people they know and love.

Photo by Yana Paskova/Getty Images.

Pro tip: Do this before breaking out any rainbow attire.

9. Drink some delicious wine while supporting queer artists and LGBTQ youth in need of stable housing.

In honor of Pride month, City Winery Chicago worked with four LGBTQ artists — Kelly Boner, James Schwab, Tennessee Loveless, and Sierra Berquist — to design the labels for its "Playing with Labels" campaign.

Photo courtesy of Dustin DuBois/City Winery Chicago.

With each bottle purchased, $10 goes toward Project Fierce Chicago, a nonprofit that provides supportive transitional housing to homeless LGBTQ youth in the Windy City. Can't make it to a Pride march in person? Drink up!

10. Paint your nails rainbow colors.

They'll serve as a great conversation starter with family or friends. You can mention Pride and what the month means to you.

Plus, they'll look great.

11. Choose one lesser known LGBTQ advocacy group and commit a monthly gift to support its work.

National organizations like the Human Rights Campaign and GLAAD are helping to save and better the lives of LGBTQ people across the country. Supporting them makes a difference.

But there are many other groups working under the radar that deserve our attention too.

If you're interesting in making donations, consider contributing to organizations like Fierce, Trans Lifeline, ACT UP, and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, focused on more niche (but still crucial) issues facing the LGBTQ community, often with much smaller budgets.

12. There's a decent chance you have at least one Facebook friend who's in the closet. Write a supportive post noting that you're there for them, any time.

When you aren't open about your sexuality or gender identity, coming out can be a very scary thing for many LGBTQ people — especially if you have few (or no) accepting family members or friends.

Sharing a Facebook status letting any of your friends who are in the closet know that you're a person they can talk to really could change their life.

13. Set your calendars: Most midterm elections are Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2018, and the LGBTQ community needs you to show up.

Midterms never get the same media fanfare as presidential election years, even though, in many ways, they're of equal consequence. You'll have to do some digging on the candidates in your state vying for office in order to get a good understanding of who they are and what they'll fight for.

Mayor Peter Buttigieg is the first openly gay mayor of South Bend, Indiana. Photo by Derek Henkle/AFP/Getty Images.

There are many crucial issues that need our attention — climate change, fighting poverty, creating jobs, criminal justice reform — but LGBTQ rights is an issue on the ballot too. If you can't make it to a march, the least you can do is commit to learning about how your candidates plan to help (or harm) LGBTQ people in your area and keep their stances in mind on Nov. 6, 2018.

14. Make it a goal: For the next kid's birthday on your calendar, buy them a book or movie that's LGBTQ-inclusive.

The entertainment and toy selections available for kids need to get better at diversity, particularly when it comes to LGBTQ representation.

Reading fairy tales like "Promised Land" and watching short films like "In a Heartbeat" and "Rosaline" — all stories for kids that feature same-sex love interests — will help young queer people understand they have a place in this world, while teaching straight and cisgender kids that their LGBTQ peers are deserving of love and respect.

[rebelmouse-image 19528701 dam="1" original_size="750x534" caption="Photo courtesy of "Promised Land."" expand=1]Photo courtesy of "Promised Land."

15. Learn about a pressing LGBTQ rights issue in your own backyard and follow a local Facebook group to stay up to speed.

Think local: What challenges does the LGBTQ community face in your city or state?

Just last month, legislators in Texas approved a bill that would deny trans students the right to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender. Lawmakers in North Carolina recently tried to reverse marriage equality in the Tar Heel state. Across the country, LGBTQ rights issues are being sorted out and decided by local school boards.

It only takes a few minutes to find some local LGBTQ Facebook groups and follow them so you can stay plugged in to what's happening in your area and fight for what's right.

16. Share this powerful video about a transgender girl and her loving family.

Some of your friends on Facebook might be more hesitant (or outright against) watching it. But that's the whole point.

When we elevate stories that put ourselves in the shoes of someone with different life experiences, we tend to build bridges. It makes sense that when someone knows an LGBTQ person and hears their story, they're far more likely to support LGBTQ rights.

17. If you live in a state that's debating a bathroom bill, make sure to call your rep — preferably more than once.

So-called "bathroom bills" — which stop trans children and adults from using the restroom that corresponds to their gender — puts people who are already more at-risk of violence in even more uncomfortable and dangerous situations. These bills are born from fearmongering and myths about transgender people.

If you live in one of the 15 states where a bathroom bill is in the works, call your representatives in Washington and voice your concerns.

Rainbow flags and festive parades are important in unifying the LGBTQ community every June. But they're only one component of what it means to celebrate Pride.

This June, acknowledge all the positive change that's happened since those first rioters fought back outside the Stonewall Inn nearly 50 years ago. Then, commit to helping push that progress forward while fighting the forces trying to stall it, however you can.

We all play a part in ensuring equality.

Photo by Wojtek Radwanski/AFP/Getty Images.

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Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

via Keswick Mountain Rescue Team/Instagram, Cat Protection/Youtube

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

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Health

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults. The symptoms may be surprising.

"75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety."

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Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults

If it seems that everyone is being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), there may be a reason and it's likely not the reason people think. Diagnostic criteria were initially based off of how ADHD presented in white children who were mostly male, so if you fell outside of that box your diagnosis was often overlooked. This is especially true in girls who then turned into undiagnosed or misdiagnosed women.

But it's not just women who were undiagnosed since the criteria mostly included ways in which hyperactivity showed up—you know, the "H" in ADHD. But not everyone with ADHD presents with the stereotypical hyperactivity bit. Dr. Heather Brannon breaks down ways in which ADHD is missed and how to identify it in adults.

In the first few minutes of the video, Brannon drops a statistic that feels mind-boggling: "75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety." Even though I fit into that category, consider my mind completely boggled because I thought I was a rarity and my psychiatrist was a magician. Turns out, he was probably just up to date on his continuing education credits.

Brannon talks about how people who may express feelings of overwhelm, anxiousness, and tiredness and who are easily frustrated may actually have undiagnosed ADHD.

It's pretty easy to overlook ADHD that presents with more of the attention deficit part of the diagnosis than the hyperactivity part. When someone is having difficulty sitting still, talking so fast that you can barely keep up and is constantly on the go, it's pretty easy to pinpoint there may be an issue.

But when the person is quiet, sits still but misses large chunks of conversations or is chronically forgetful and sleepy, it's much easier to miss the signs, according to Brannon.

Brannon says many people feel bad about themselves without knowing why, so having an answer for why you're feeling this way can be helpful.

The video is really fascinating and may help others recognize signs within themselves or with loved ones.

Give it a gander below:

This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

Richard Dreyfuss shared intimate photos of the moment he realized his son had a congenital disorder

"The most traumatic and emotional moment of my life was on June 14 1986."

via Rusty Blazenhoff/Flickr

Richard Dreyfuss at the Webby Awards.

Actor Richard Dreyfuss (star of “Jaws” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”) shared intimate photos of the birth of his son Ben that showed the shock and confusion parents experience when realizing their newborn has a birth abnormality.

On June 14, 1986, Dreyfuss and his wife Jeramie Rain had their second child and they could tell something was wrong shortly after his delivery. “Your eyes are not the same,” Ben would later write about his birth. “One is blue, the other is grey. One is hiding under a partially opened eye-lid; the other is extending far beyond it, like a potato exploding out of an egg cup.”

It was the “most traumatic and emotional moment of my life,” Richard wrote on Twitter. “My wife Jeramie gave birth to our second amazing child. And, as these pictures show, we slowly realized there was a problem with our son.”

The actor’s photos are touching because they show the parents experiencing the incredible beauty of the birth while struggling to make sense of the unexpected.

“I held him and promised him that I would do everything I could [to] save him. That I would love him no matter what,” the “Mr. Holland’s Opus” star wrote.

Ben would later be diagnosed with Peters anomaly, a rare genetic condition that causes a clouding of the cornea and eye-structure abnormalities. Over the first year of Ben’s life, he would have multiple eye operations and would eventually lose all sight in his left eye.

He explained what life’s like with one eye in a blog post his father shared at the end of his tweet thread. It’s a raw open letter to himself that details how his struggles with being different evolved as he developed.

It’s a revealing glimpse into the interior monologue of someone who knows he’s being stared at but everyone is too polite to bring it up.

“Eventually you come around to the idea that much more noticeable than the eye itself is your reaction to it,” he writes. “You couldn’t make eye contact with anyone for decades. Upon this realization, you decided to make piercing eye contact with everyone.”

Ben is a journalist who was in charge of audience development at Mother Jones for eight years. He has a popular Substack blog called “Good Faith” where he discusses the intersection of politics and social media from the unique perspective of a liberal with no problem pointing out progressive excesses.

Richard Dreyfuss’ photos of his son’s birth show that all the fame and acclaim in the world can be quickly dispatched when we see that there is something wrong with a child. But on a deeper level, they are an intimate look at the faces of parents whose lives have been upended in a moment they expected would be wholly joyous.

It’s a moment that many parents have unfortunately had to weather and hopefully, the photos will give them comfort knowing that the despair will soon be overcome by love.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Pop Culture

'Wicked' author reveals how one line in 'The Wizard of Oz' inspired Elphaba and Glinda's story

Gregory Maguire says he "fell down to the ground" laughing when the idea hit him.

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Gregory Maguire was inspired by a line in the original 1939 film "The Wizard of Oz."

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book or listened to a piece of music and wondered, "How did they come up with that idea?" The creative process is so enigmatic even artists themselves don't always know where their ideas come from, so It's a treat when we get to hear the genesis of a brilliant idea straight from the horse's mouth. If you've watched "Wicked" and wondered where the idea for the friendship between Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) and Glinda (the Good Witch) came from, the author of the book has shared the precise moment it came to him.

The hit movie "Wicked" is based on the 20-year-old hit stage musical, which is based on the novel "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West" written by Gregory Maguire. While the musical is a simplified version of the 1995 book, the basic storyline—the origins of the two witches from "The Wizard of Oz"—lies at the heart of both. In an interview with BBC, Maguire explained how Elphaba and Glinda's friendship popped into his head.

Maguire was visiting Beatrix Potter's farm in Cumbria, England, and thinking about "The Wizard of Oz," which he had loved as a child and thought could be an interesting basis for a story about evil.

"I thought 'alright, what do we know about 'The Wizard of Oz' from our memories,'" he said. "We have the house falling on the witch. What do we know about that witch? All we know about that witch is that she has feet. So I began to think about Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West…

"There is one scene in the 1939 film where Billie Burke comes down looking all pink and fluffy, and Margaret Hamilton is all crawed and crabbed and she says something like, 'I might have known you'd be behind this, Glinda!' This was my memory, and I thought, now why is she using Glinda's first name? They have known each other. Maybe they've known each other for a long time. Maybe they went to college together. And I fell down onto the ground in the Lake District laughing at the thought that they had gone to college together."

In "Wicked," Glinda and the Wicked Witch, Elphaba, meet as students at Shiz University, a school of wizardry. They get placed as roommates, loathe each other at first, but eventually become best friends. The story grows a lot more complicated from there (and the novel goes darker than the stage play), but it's the character development of the two witches and their relationship with one another that force us to examine our ideas about good and evil.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

Maguire also shared with the Denver Center for Performing Arts what had inspired him to use the "Wizard of Oz" characters in the first place.

"I was living in London in the early 1990’s during the start of the Gulf War. I was interested to see how my own blood temperature chilled at reading a headline in the usually cautious British newspaper, the Times of London: 'Sadaam Hussein: The New Hitler?' I caught myself ready to have a fully formed political opinion about the Gulf War and the necessity of action against Sadaam Hussein on the basis of how that headline made me feel. The use of the word Hitler – what a word! What it evokes! When a few months later several young schoolboys kidnapped and killed a toddler, the British press paid much attention to the nature of the crime. I became interested in the nature of evil, and whether one really could be born bad. I considered briefly writing a novel about Hitler but discarded the notion due to my general discomfort with the reality of those times. But when I realized that nobody had ever written about the second most evil character in our collective American subconscious, the Wicked Witch of the West, I thought I had experienced a small moment of inspiration. Everybody in America knows who the Wicked Witch of the West is, but nobody really knows anything about her. There is more to her than meets the eye."

Authors and artists—and their ideas—help hold a mirror up to humanity for us to see and reflect on who we are, and "Wicked" is one of those stories that makes us take a hard look at what we're seeing in that mirror. Thanks, Gregory Maguire, for launching us on a collective journey that not only entertains but has the potential to change how we see one another.

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Joy

The 17 harsh truths about aging that people were never 'prepared' for

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down."

via Kindel Media/Pexels

A woman contemplating aging

Many of us feel invincible when we are young, believing we can control the aging process so that we’ll always stay forever young, as Bob Dylan once sang. But there’s a moment when everyone realizes aging is an inevitable process and that, eventually, we will have to deal with a slow decline in our physical and, quite possibly, mental capabilities.

This realization and understanding that we won’t be here forever can profoundly change one’s perspective on life. Even though aging is inevitable, studies show how we think about the process can significantly impact our longevity. People with a positive view of aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without.

Things happen as we age that are impossible to describe to younger people. However, a group of Redditors did an excellent job of explaining the truths about aging that they were not “prepared” for in a recent thread that made a lot of people feel seen. A user named sofiagympixie asked the AskReddit forum, “What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?” and it received over 2,700 responses.

A big takeaway is that many people feel like they stop mentally aging at a certain point, usually in their late 20s. Still, the continued physical aging they experience makes them feel like they cannot relate to the person in the mirror.



Here are 17 of the most profound responses to the question: What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?

1. There is an end

"You start to realize the older you get that the end is closer than the beginning and you still feel like you have so much more to do."

"That moment where you start to get a sense that there is an end."

2. It takes energy to keep everything afloat

"No one prepared me for how much energy and time it takes to maintain everything—like health, relationships, and just staying organized. It’s way more work than I expected!"

3. Mind/body detachment

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down. You still feel like the same person you’ve always been, but suddenly you notice little things changing."

"This was such a surprise to me. I really expected to feel psychologically older as I aged. But physically, oh my body has betrayed me... Eyes... hair (gray, but at least I still have it)... back... knees... hips... prostate."



4. The past feels closer than it is

"When you get a flashback of a good memory and you realize that was over 10 years ago."

"When I told my daughter about something I did 24 years ago, I had to pause for a moment."

Time flies isn't just a saying. Psychologists agree that our minds lump time together based on novel experiences. When we are older, the days are a lot more similar than when we were young children. That's why when you're 80, time moves a lot faster than it did when you were 8.

5. Stuck in the wrong time

"I’m 61, and sometimes I feel like this world is not for me anymore. I feel almost like an imposter. For example, I can’t find clothes I like that fit correctly, TV is abhorrent, only old music sounds pleasant, shoes are uncomfortable, I don’t recognize most celebrities or famous people in the news or tabloids, and I don’t understand the need for most new and supposedly exciting products. I’m an educated person, I still work and have an active life. I’m not a recluse. But a little at a time, I feel the world is moving on without me. I finally understand why, in her final years, my mother only watched movies from the 1950s and reminisced about the past more than she talked about the present. Her world was long gone."



6. You lose friends

"If you choose not to have kids, you may end up losing your friends. I turn 40 this year, and my partner and I don't see many folks these days. Parents like to hang out with other parents. And I don't have a grudge, I totally see the value for playdates, etc. But it can be a little lonely."

"To be fair, I have 2 kids and lost a lot of friends because we simply don’t have the time/energy to connect regularly enough to maintain a healthy friendship. It instead falls into an awkward acquaintance stage where enough time passes between communication, and you’re not sure if reaching out to connect comes across weird."

7. Your parents are aging, too

"It's not just you who is getting old. Your parents are getting even older."

"I feel this. Lost my mom 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. 40 now with 2 kids. I get angry/sad at a lot of milestones like my wedding and kids' stuff ‘cause my mom was robbed of them, and I was robbed of her."

8. Time wasted caring about other people's opinions

"It’s so freeing when that old twinge of 'why don’t they like me' pops up, and then I remember that I can not be bothered by that anymore, and magically, I don’t care!"

"Just wasting time in general. No thanks. I want to do as many things as possible!"



9. Your friends die

"Your friends start to die. It's something I never thought about."

10. Time flies

"Man. I don’t even feel like the days are long anymore. I just keep blinking and the weeks go by."

"Yup, wake up, eat breakfast, do a couple things. Wait, it’s lunch already? Eat lunch, do a couple more things, time to prep dinner. Eat dinner, clean up, fix a few things, it’s 9 pm. I guess it’s almost time to get ready for bed? This times 10,000 for me."

11. The monotony sets in

"You will realize that you hate planning meals and making food every single day. It's boring, and it's too easy to fall into monotony. But you have to make lunch again and then plan for dinner again then make dinner again and what do you want to eat tomorrow so you plan for breakfast tomorrow and get up and make breakfast again and then plan for lunch again...."

12. You become invisible to much of society

"I wondered what felt off the last year. Gen Z is everywhere now, and I'm still asking myself when that happened."



13. Adults aren't real

"When you're a kid, you can't wait to 'grow up,' and then you do, and you're still you, just older. That voice inside your head doesn't change, but what you see in the mirror does. Only now you're just older and saddled with bills and stress and all of life's 'surprises.' On top of this, everyone is winging it. Absolutely everyone. Because the idea of order and a civilized society is an illusion. We're all playing by made up rules and making imaginary money and all the rest of it. A one-dollar bill costs just as much to print as a hundred-dollar bill."

14. Priorities change

"Things that seemed so important when you were younger, really are not important."

15. Younger people's reverence

"I'm middle-aged, and a funny thing is how younger people get self-conscious or apologize when there is no need. For example, they will apologize for swearing around me or mentioning something like (gasp) drinking, or drugs, or sleeping around. I think it's funny. Why would being on earth longer make me easier to scandalize? I've seen and done things that would shock them, lol, but to them I'm a very proper-looking classy older lady."

16. Ageism

"Doors start closing once you reach a certain age."

"Ageism is real. I just turned 50 and am in a young person's career (software development). I feel how hiring managers look at me when asked to turn my camera on, during an interview that was going very well and suddenly it's 'we'll get back to you.'"

17. It all catches up

"Things like drinking, eating unhealthily, smoking, spending ... they will catch up. When you're young you think you're different, or you think that when it does catch up you'll be old so who cares, I won't care when I'm old anyway. You will care, though. You'll still be you. Those things won't seem like an issue right up to the moment they are. And then it's too late to take them back."

This article originally appeared in September.
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Pets

Pet cockatiel is obsessed with singing 'September' by Earth, Wind and Fire

Kiki remembers the 21st night of September ALL. THE. TIME. and it's actually quite impressive.

Representative hoto by Saqib Iqbal Digital on Unsplash

Apparently, "September" is all the rage with cockatiels.

“Do you remember…the 21st night of September?” has been one of the most iconic song openings of the past 45 years, as the R&B hit by Earth, Wind and Fire perpetually serves as a catchy favorite for dance clubs, movie scenes and TikTok clips alike. However, "September" has also gained wild popularity among an unlikely group—pet cockatiels.

One cockatiel in particular has taken a shining to the song to the point of obsession, to the combined delight and chagrin of his owner. You see, Kiki doesn’t just like listening to the song, he sings and dances to it. Loudly. Over and over. At uncomfortable hours of the morning.

Kiki’s owner has shared multiple examples of her pet bird reveling in his favorite song, and it’s hilarious every time.

Watch:

@kiki.tiel

Send help plz wheres the off button on parrot #fyp #foryou #bird #cockatiel #parrotsoftiktok #birdsoftiktok

"Kiki…it's 7 o'clock in the morning…" Yeah, Kiki does not care. Kiki is feelin' the groove.

This isn't just a one-off and it's also not just a random song. Here we can see that Kiki recognizes it and sings it when his owner plays it. (Just after pooing on her leg—the reality of having a bird, in case these videos make you want one).

@kiki.tiel

Babywipes handy at all hours 🫡 #bird #cockatiel #fyp #foryou #september #parrot

But Kiki doesn't even need anyone else around in order to sing his favorite song. Here he is singing and dancing all by himself when his owner left the room and left her camera running to see what he would do.

@kiki.tiel

Partying without me :( #cockatielsoftiktok #birds #fyp #for you

As cute and hilarious as this is, it surely gets old after a while, right? It's one thing to watch in a video—it's got to be entirely another to hear it all the time at home.

It's also not just a Kiki quirk. Apparently, "September" is a "thing" among cockatiels. Other cockatiels have been known to love it and sing it, though not quite as well as Kiki does.

Someone on Reddit asked why so many cockatiels love the song—one person even said it was basically the cockatiel national anthem at this point. No one knows exactly why, but this explanation by Reddit user nattiecakes is as good an explanation as any:

"Yeah, cockatiels genuinely like the song in a way they don’t universally take to many other songs. My cockatiel is 17 and early in life basically seemed to max out his harddrive space learning a little bit of La Cucaracha, The Flintstones theme, the phrase 'pretty bird,' and this horrible alarm clock sound that is similar to the hungry baby cockatiel sound. We thought we could not get him to learn anything else because they do have some limits.

Then 'September' came. Every cockatiel loved it. We decided to see if our cockatiel loved it.

I sh*t y’all not, within a DAY he whistled the first three notes, which is really all that matters. He hasn’t been able to learn more, but he loves it.

Now our African grey whistles it to him constantly. He used to reliably whistle La Cucaracha to our cockatiel when our cockatiel would get angry and upset, and our cockatiel would start singing instead and forget he’d been upset. But almost immediately our grey switched to using 'September' 90% of the time. Like, it’s so plain even to our grey that 'September' is the song to unlock a cockatiel’s better nature. I think the grey likes it a lot too, but he has many other songs he likes better.

As for why cockatiels like this song so much… all I can guess is it really resonates with their cheery vibe. I think the inside of a cockatiel’s mind is usually like a disco."

Rock on, Kiki. Just maybe not so early in the morning.


This article originally appeared in April.

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