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You don't have to march in Pride to make a difference for LGBTQ people. Here's how.

You don't have to be at a Pride march to make a difference.

In June 1969, a group of New Yorkers decided they'd had enough.

Patrons of the Stonewall Inn, an LGBTQ bar in Greenwich Village, stood up to police officers who'd reportedly been repeatedly harassing and targeting them for their sexual orientations and gender identities. The demonstrations that ensued sparked the beginning of the modern LGBTQ civil rights movement.


The exterior of the Stonewall Inn in New York City. Photo by Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images.

The Stonewall Inn riots inspired President Clinton to declare June "Gay and Lesbian Pride Month" in 1998. In 2009, President Obama expanded on the recognition, deeming it "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month," as it remains today.

This June feels different though.

After years of having an ally in the White House, President Trump's administration — unchecked by a GOP Congress — is threatening to roll back rights for LGBTQ people. It's crucial we stand in solidarity.

If you can make it out to a Pride march in your area, excellent. But even if you can't (or just despise big crowds), you can still support the movement.

1. Help buy a bus ticket for a friend so they can go to the March for Equality in Washington, D.C.

LGBTQ Pride marches are happening in cities from coast to coast. But the most notable one this year will unfold in the nation's capital on June 11. The Equality March for Unity and Pride is mobilizing queer people and their allies in support of LGBTQ rights under a new administration that wants to take us backward.

You can do this anywhere, but if you happen to know someone in New York City who is interested in going but doesn't have the travel funds, you can buy them a bus ticket on Grindr's "Pride Ride" to D.C.

2. If you're visiting the East Coast this summer, treat yo'self to a scoop of big, gay ice cream.

There's nothing explicitly gay about the tasty treats at the Big Gay Ice Cream Shops in New York City and Philadelphia, of course. But the company, which started as a food truck in 2009 before expanding into storefronts, has been a proud supporter of the Ali Forney Center, a nonprofit that helps homeless LGBTQ youth.

When you scream for (big, gay) ice cream, you're also helping the business raise awareness and resources for young people in need. And that's a big, gay win-win.

3. Snatch up one of these glorious Pride shirts in support of LGBTQ youth in need.

Through an initiative created by Represent, 100% of profits from these shirts will benefit The Trevor Project, which focuses on suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth, as well as the NOH8 campaign, which utilizes social media platforms to promote equality.

4. Or, if you're a basketball fan, maybe these Pride shirts are more up your alley.

Photo courtesy of the NBA/WNBA.

The NBA and WNBA partnered with GLSEN, an organization helping to make our schools safer and more inclusive for LGBTQ students, to create Pride shirts for every pro team. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the nonprofit.

A critical component in ensuring classrooms are inclusive is recognizing the accomplishments of LGBTQ people throughout history.

5. Commit this month to reading just one Wikipedia entry a day on LGBTQ history and queer pioneers.

School curriculums often gloss over the history of, and challenges faced by, marginalized groups. The LGBTQ community is no different.

It makes sense that many of us haven't learned about people like Marsha P. Johnson, Dan Choi, Edith Windsor, and Harvey Milk — some of the trailblazers who helped us get to where we are today.

Lt. Dan Choi, who came out as gay in 2009 while serving in the armed forces, became a pioneer in ending the military's homophobic "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.  Photo by Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images.

Each day in June, take 10 minutes to read up on a famous LGBTQ figure or moment in history. Your teammates at the next trivia night will thank you for it.

6. Now that you're up on your queer history, email a local school or school district and ask that the students there are too.

Last year, California became the first state to mandate LGBTQ-inclusive curriculums in its history and social science requirements. As Vice reported, it may set off a chain reaction too, as other states look to include more diverse perspectives and historical figures in their classroom instructions.

Send an email — or attend a school board meeting or bring it up at the next PTA meeting — to get this issue on the radar in your city, if it's not already.

7. Drop in to a restaurant or store that supports its LGBTQ employees — and avoid the places that don't.

The Human Rights Campaign releases a Corporate Equality Index each year studying and ranking businesses based on how supportive their workplace policies are for LGBTQ people.

Many different factors — including if a company highlights LGBTQ protections in its anti-discrimination policies or if it offers transgender-inclusive health care benefits — are considered in the index.

Target — which adopted pro-LGBTQ policies and created specific Pride products for customers in recent years — was a top-rated company for its inclusive workplace in 2017.

Even if you're not marching in Pride, the way you spend your dollars makes a difference.

8. If you're not LGBTQ and new to this whole Pride thing, set aside 30 minutes to start learning about being a good ally.

Is your child — or your mom or dad — LGBTQ? What about a colleague or friend at school? Do you want to be there for transgender people in your community, but not sure where to start? GLAAD compiled helpful guides for allies to do their best supporting the LGBTQ people they know and love.

Photo by Yana Paskova/Getty Images.

Pro tip: Do this before breaking out any rainbow attire.

9. Drink some delicious wine while supporting queer artists and LGBTQ youth in need of stable housing.

In honor of Pride month, City Winery Chicago worked with four LGBTQ artists — Kelly Boner, James Schwab, Tennessee Loveless, and Sierra Berquist — to design the labels for its "Playing with Labels" campaign.

Photo courtesy of Dustin DuBois/City Winery Chicago.

With each bottle purchased, $10 goes toward Project Fierce Chicago, a nonprofit that provides supportive transitional housing to homeless LGBTQ youth in the Windy City. Can't make it to a Pride march in person? Drink up!

10. Paint your nails rainbow colors.

They'll serve as a great conversation starter with family or friends. You can mention Pride and what the month means to you.

Plus, they'll look great.

11. Choose one lesser known LGBTQ advocacy group and commit a monthly gift to support its work.

National organizations like the Human Rights Campaign and GLAAD are helping to save and better the lives of LGBTQ people across the country. Supporting them makes a difference.

But there are many other groups working under the radar that deserve our attention too.

If you're interesting in making donations, consider contributing to organizations like Fierce, Trans Lifeline, ACT UP, and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, focused on more niche (but still crucial) issues facing the LGBTQ community, often with much smaller budgets.

12. There's a decent chance you have at least one Facebook friend who's in the closet. Write a supportive post noting that you're there for them, any time.

When you aren't open about your sexuality or gender identity, coming out can be a very scary thing for many LGBTQ people — especially if you have few (or no) accepting family members or friends.

Sharing a Facebook status letting any of your friends who are in the closet know that you're a person they can talk to really could change their life.

13. Set your calendars: Most midterm elections are Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2018, and the LGBTQ community needs you to show up.

Midterms never get the same media fanfare as presidential election years, even though, in many ways, they're of equal consequence. You'll have to do some digging on the candidates in your state vying for office in order to get a good understanding of who they are and what they'll fight for.

Mayor Peter Buttigieg is the first openly gay mayor of South Bend, Indiana. Photo by Derek Henkle/AFP/Getty Images.

There are many crucial issues that need our attention — climate change, fighting poverty, creating jobs, criminal justice reform — but LGBTQ rights is an issue on the ballot too. If you can't make it to a march, the least you can do is commit to learning about how your candidates plan to help (or harm) LGBTQ people in your area and keep their stances in mind on Nov. 6, 2018.

14. Make it a goal: For the next kid's birthday on your calendar, buy them a book or movie that's LGBTQ-inclusive.

The entertainment and toy selections available for kids need to get better at diversity, particularly when it comes to LGBTQ representation.

Reading fairy tales like "Promised Land" and watching short films like "In a Heartbeat" and "Rosaline" — all stories for kids that feature same-sex love interests — will help young queer people understand they have a place in this world, while teaching straight and cisgender kids that their LGBTQ peers are deserving of love and respect.

Photo courtesy of "Promised Land."

15. Learn about a pressing LGBTQ rights issue in your own backyard and follow a local Facebook group to stay up to speed.

Think local: What challenges does the LGBTQ community face in your city or state?

Just last month, legislators in Texas approved a bill that would deny trans students the right to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender. Lawmakers in North Carolina recently tried to reverse marriage equality in the Tar Heel state. Across the country, LGBTQ rights issues are being sorted out and decided by local school boards.

It only takes a few minutes to find some local LGBTQ Facebook groups and follow them so you can stay plugged in to what's happening in your area and fight for what's right.

16. Share this powerful video about a transgender girl and her loving family.

Some of your friends on Facebook might be more hesitant (or outright against) watching it. But that's the whole point.

When we elevate stories that put ourselves in the shoes of someone with different life experiences, we tend to build bridges. It makes sense that when someone knows an LGBTQ person and hears their story, they're far more likely to support LGBTQ rights.

17. If you live in a state that's debating a bathroom bill, make sure to call your rep — preferably more than once.

So-called "bathroom bills" — which stop trans children and adults from using the restroom that corresponds to their gender — puts people who are already more at-risk of violence in even more uncomfortable and dangerous situations. These bills are born from fearmongering and myths about transgender people.

If you live in one of the 15 states where a bathroom bill is in the works, call your representatives in Washington and voice your concerns.

Rainbow flags and festive parades are important in unifying the LGBTQ community every June. But they're only one component of what it means to celebrate Pride.

This June, acknowledge all the positive change that's happened since those first rioters fought back outside the Stonewall Inn nearly 50 years ago. Then, commit to helping push that progress forward while fighting the forces trying to stall it, however you can.

We all play a part in ensuring equality.

Photo by Wojtek Radwanski/AFP/Getty Images.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

boomer parents, parenting styles, dishonest harmony, parents, older parents, '70s and '80s parents,

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.


Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture

Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

Internet

Why chasing 1,000 rejections might be the key to your biggest dreams

Gabriella Carr asked for 1,000 “no’s.” The universe had other plans.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge

Gabrielle Carr introduces her "Year of 1,000 No's" notebook

If you opened Gabriella Carr's red notebook, you might expect to find a diary, a grocery list, or her homework. Instead, you'd find an organized, numbered list of failures.

That's one way to see it. Gabriella views it differently, though. To her, every entry in that notebook is a victory.


Gabriella, a content creator and actor, is embarking on a fascinating experiment she calls "The 1,000 No's." Her goal: to face rejection 1,000 times in a year. While the rest of us spend our days avoiding the word "no," Gabriella is hunting for it. She asks for opportunities she feels unqualified for. She puts herself in situations where rejection is likely.

Something unexpected happened on her quest for failure: she started to succeed.

In seeking "no's," Gabriella stumbled upon a life filled with unexpected "yeses." Her journey offers a fresh perspective on risk and rejection, and she's not alone in discovering the surprising power of failure.

The notebook that changed everything

Gabriella began her challenge in September 2025. As a creative, the sting of rejection was familiar. Casting directors passed on her self-tape auditions. Brand partners left her emails unread. The constant silence and dismissal started to take a toll on her self-worth.

She switched up her approach. Instead of striving for a "yes" and dreading denials, she set "no" as the goal.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge This is where Gabrielle tracks her rejection journey.Photo credit: TikTok

Grabbing a red notebook and a permanent marker, she scrawled "The 1,000 Rejections of Gabrielle Carr" on its front and began to track her journey.

The results surprised her. Amid the rejections lay unexpected wins; she earned a spot in a national pageant she'd written off as a long shot and landed a role in a play.

When Gabriella shared her rejection journey on TikTok, it resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. They recognized their own fears in her red book.

"My daughter shared your account with me, and it inspired me to apply for my dream job! I haven't heard back yet, but yes or no, it felt good to be so daring!" read one comment. "I need to get an internship for spring, and I'm so scared," shared another. One viewer said that Gabriella's courage inspired them to apply for a federal job.

@misscuddy this challenge just gets us in side quests 😭 they took this so serious too so adorbs!#foryouu #nochallenge #rejectiontherapy #newyearsresolution ♬ original sound - Fbrl challenge creator

Users across the Internet are following her lead. TikTok user @theplanistobefamous tracks his outrageous haggling on Facebook Marketplace. Others record similar experiments—renegotiating lease agreements, asking strangers for fashion advice, pitching themselves to major brands for sponsorships.

Gabriella's experiment has led her to a powerful realization: what holds us back from our greatest dreams isn't a lack of talent or opportunity—it's the fear of asking.

Embracing the "no"

Gabriella follows in the footsteps of innovators who saw fear as their sole obstacle.

Jason Comely, a freelance IT specialist, first developed the concept of "Rejection Therapy" in 2009. After his wife left him, Jason felt isolated and hesitant to socialize. His fear of rejection had morphed into a psychological barrier, a self-imposed mental prison that prevented him from forming meaningful connections and living a free life. He recognized the trap he was in—and knew he needed to find a way to confront and overcome his fears.

To toughen up, he modeled his training after Russian special forces. He created a game with one rule: get rejected at least once a day. Accepted requests didn't count—he had to continue until he got a "no." This simple but powerful game became more than a personal experiment, resonating with people worldwide and blossoming into a global movement.

Jia Jiang took the challenge publicly as well. After a difficult rejection from an investor, he decided to try Jason Comely's "Rejection Therapy" experiment for 100 days. Jiang began recording his quest for no's, expecting to document a long string of awkward failures.

On day three, he strolled into a Krispy Kreme and asked an employee to make him doughnuts shaped like Olympic rings.

Jiang braced for laughter and a curt "no," but the employee caught him off guard as she began to sketch a design. Fifteen minutes later, she handed him a box of Olympic ring-shaped doughnuts, free of charge. This encounter went viral, touching millions with its heartwarming display of unexpected kindness.

In 2017, Jiang gave a TED Talk titled "What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection," which garnered over six million views—one of the most popular lectures released that year.

Why rejection hurts (and how to overcome it)

If these experiments yield such positive results, why do we remain terrified of putting ourselves out there?

The answer lies in our biology. Psychologists have discovered that social rejection lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain. In other words, hearing "no" triggers a reaction in your brain—the same one that activates when you slam a finger in the door or douse yourself with freezing water by accident.

rejection, pain, evolution, biology, psychology Social rejection feels just like physical pain to the brain.Photo credit: Canva

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. In the beginning, our ancestors relied on social groups for survival. Being a part of the tribe meant access to shared resources, protection from predators, and aid in child-rearing. Outcasts faced starvation and predators solo. Although we no longer live in small, nomadic tribes, your brain is still wired with that ancient software. It perceives modern rejections, like an unanswered text or a chilly response during a job interview, with the same primal panic as banishment from the group thousands of years ago.

This is why Gabriella's challenge works—it's a form of exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is a well-established psychological method used to help people overcome phobias. The core idea is to gradually expose someone to the object of their fears in a safe and controlled way. For instance, if you have an intense fear of spiders, a good therapist won't place you in a room full of tarantulas. They'll ease you into it. The process might begin with something as simple as looking at a cartoon drawing of a spider. Once you're comfortable with that, you might move on to realistic photos, then to a video of a spider. By the end, you could end up in the same room as one or hold a harmless spider in your hands. This logical, step-by-step approach teaches your brain that what you fear isn't a real threat.

Gabriella's experiment works in a similar fashion. By seeking out small, manageable rejections—like requesting a song on the radio—she began to retrain her brain. With each mini-rejection, Gabriella's fear of hearing "no" faded, making it easier for her to take bigger risks, like signing up for that pageant.

Gen Z and the gamification of failure

This trend has seen a major resurgence with Gen Z viewers at the forefront. It's no surprise given today's challenges. Data shows Gen Z may be the "most rejected generation" in history. By February 2025, the average job posting received 244 applications. Young people sent out hundreds of resumes—and faced a wall of silence or boilerplate automatic rejections.

When life feels out of control, turning challenges into a game can help you regain a sense of agency. Instead of passively waiting and dreading rejections, people like Gabriella are making "no's" the goal. This shifts everything. This powerful reframing tool protects your self-esteem and spins a helpless situation into a conquerable hurdle—you can win the game by participating in life.

Ready to start your own rejection challenge?

You don't need to aim for 1,000 rejections or a "no" every day to benefit. If you want to strengthen your own "rejection muscle," here are some simple strategies to get started.

questions, bravery, asking, rejection, exposure Asking questions can be a form of bravery.Photo credit: Canva

Start with low-stakes requests

Begin by asking for something minuscule, like the time from a stranger. The goal is to feel that jolt of anxiety—then realize you're okay.

Know when to stop

Pushing your comfort zone is healthy, but remember to stay safe. As psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Morray explains, forcing yourself into situations that feel unsafe can yield traumatic outcomes. Know your limits—the goal is growth, not distress.

Track your data

Take a cue from Gabriella and use a pen and paper to record your rejections. Writing them down by hand helps externalize the experience, turning an uncomfortable memory into banal data entry.

Reframe the outcome

Remember what Jia Jiang learned: the worst thing someone can say isn't "no." It's that you never even asked. When you stay silent, you reject yourself by default. Keep in mind that with every brave request, you open the door for the universe to say "yes."

The beautiful truth about "no"

We spend an obscene amount of time trying to be perfect and dodging the embarrassment of disapproval. But people like Gabriella Carr, Jia Jiang, and Jason Comely show us the vibrant, exhilarating world that awaits on the flip side of fear. Rejection is an inevitable part of being human, but there's no shame in asking.

Every "no" in Gabriella's notebook marks an act of courage—an opportunity to embrace possibility over comfort. Within those possible 1,000 rejections lie the "yeses" that will shape her life: the plays, the pageants, and the moments she would have missed if she'd chosen to stay silent.

Buy your red notebook. Approach a neighbor with the favor that's been on your mind. Apply for the job that seems out of your league. The worst outcome? "No." And as Gabriella has shown, hearing a "no" isn't the end of the world—it's proof that you were courageous enough to take the leap and try. Each attempt, no matter how disastrous, is a step forward. You're proving to yourself that you are willing to endure uncertainty to pursue what matters to you.

Fatherhood

The internet slams a man drinking water while his partner gives birth, but a nurse sets them straight

"Do you think we as nurses hand out refreshments while our patients are pushing as customer service?"

nurse, birth, fatherhood, internet stories, social media
Photo credit: @_jen_hamilton_ on Instagram/Canva

A nurse explains why a father-to-be sitting and drinking water during birth doesn't make him a bad dad.

Many couples post videos of their child's birth at the hospital, but one particular video was overly scrutinized online.

In the social media post, the father-to-be is seated and drinking from a cup offered to him while his partner is actively pushing. The post drew thousands of likes on comments such as "This is a red flag" and "He legit looks like he couldn't care less." Amid all of this, a nurse came to the man's defense.


Nurse Jen Hamilton explained why that moment was actually a green flag.

"This is a nurse handing a man a cup of water while his lady is pushing," said Hamilton. "Do you think we as nurses hand out refreshments while our patients are pushing as customer service?"

Hamilton further explained that the man was likely showing signs of becoming lightheaded and close to fainting after witnessing the birth and feeling growing concern for his partner. She added that nurses were probably telling him to "sit their booty cheeks down on that hard couch and drink something." If the man were to faint, she explained, nurses and doctors would have to address both his medical needs and those of the mother-to-be.

"So not a red flag. Actually, probably, very much a green flag because he was probably so worried about his lady that he almost fainted," Hamilton concluded. "Leave him alone!"

@izzystory

Dads in the delivery room and there reactions #fypシ゚viral #reel #breakingnews #news #fyp

Commenters on Hamilton's video acknowledged her point, with some sharing their own near-fainting delivery room stories:

“My (firefighter/paramedic) husband who has delivered more than one baby in the field did exactly this after my first round of pushing with our son…He was on the floor with his feet up on a chair while another angel on earth gave him apple juice and a cold washcloth."

“Poor guy. My husband is a fainter so we prepared for this but miraculously he watched BOTH births and zero fainting! I think the excitement kept him focused.”

“They go through so much emotional and mental stress watching us in pain and being helpless to help. It's hard on them and I don't blame them when their brains try to help them out by shutting down.”

“My husband told me while I was pregnant with our first about how he passes out around blood. The OB was like, 'We will seat him by your head. We don't want to send him to the ER for a head injury, too.'"

So what is proper delivery room etiquette for a father-to-be?

So what's the role of a partner in the delivery room when their loved one is giving birth? How can they help, or should they simply stay out of the way? Nurse Juliana Parker spoke with Upworthy to offer some thoughts and guidance.

"Part of our job in labor and delivery is caring for the whole family, not just the mother, and that includes helping partners stay safe and upright," said Parker. "I routinely tell fathers-to-be, 'If you feel dizzy or lightheaded, please tell me right away.'"

"The best advice I can give is don't try to be stoic or push through warning signs," Parker added. "If you're not feeling well, say something immediately and get down—on the floor, a couch, a chair, anywhere—so you don't faint, fall, and hit your head. Partners passing out is more common than people think, and it's preventable when people speak up early."

@kristan_n_williams

His life will never be the same #dadsoftiktok #laboranddelivery

Parker said that partners who want to help during delivery should ask nurses what they need and listen to their guidance. Most of the time, it's best to focus on supporting your birthing partner's comfort, encouragement, and other needs. However, you should also check in with a nurse to know when to step in and when to step back, especially if they need to assess the birth or set up equipment. In short, follow the nurses' instructions, don't get in their way, and if you start to feel faint or emotionally overwhelmed, let them know.

"Letting the nurse know you're feeling faint is not 'being dramatic,' it's being responsible," concluded Parker.

Mental Health

Google productivity expert says 'fun homework' makes you happier. Here's why it actually works.

The simple trick Google productivity expert Laura Mae Martin swears by.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework
Photo credit: Canva, Laura Mae Miller

Laura Mae Miller is rewriting the book on productivity.

We all know the feeling: You walk through the front door after a long day, or slam your laptop shut, and the weight of the world slides off your shoulders. Your overworked brain, desperate to relax, entices you to collapse onto the couch and scroll through your phone until it's time to sleep.

But is this the best way to recharge? By doing nothing? Experts say no.


@xparmesanprincessx Spending this cozy Sunday planning my curriculum for 2026 📚✍️ I’m going to break my year up in to 4 semesters with different themes and focuses for each month and have more long term learning projects like relearning Spanish! #curriculum #learning #personalgrowth #personalcurriculum #books ♬ original sound - Elizabeth Jean

A fascinating practice on social media called the "personal curriculum" is trending. Championed by Google executive productivity advisor Laura Mae Martin, the concept is simple yet counterintuitive. The idea is to assign yourself "homework"—not to earn a degree, promotion, or extra cash, but for the pure joy of learning. TikTok user Elizabeth Jean also helped popularize the term "personal curriculum," and posts videos with tips on how to create your own.

Adding tasks to an overflowing to-do list might sound like a recipe for burnout, but Martin suggests that a structured, self-directed learning plan can boost energy, sharpen the mind, and restore a sense of identity.

The unexpected science of "fun homework"

It's easy to compare our brains to batteries that drain during the day and require total rest to recharge. But cognitive science shows that our minds are more like muscles. To stay healthy, we need new and interesting activities that challenge us.

When we engage in what researchers call "cognitively stimulating activities," the physical structure of our brains changes. A 2017 report from the Global Council on Brain Health highlighted that keeping the mind active is essential for maintaining brain health as we age. Creative activities like painting, photography, or writing can reduce cortisol levels, lowering stress hormones and creating an emotional regulation loop that leaves you feeling refreshed and ready for the next day.

A systematic review in BMJ Open found a clear link between lifelong learning and a lowered risk of dementia. Researchers explained that challenging the brain with new information builds cognitive reserve, a.k.a. its ability to adapt and remain resistant to damage.

Think of it as investing in your mental future. Each time you tackle a new language lesson or deep-dive into Renaissance art history, you're strengthening your brain in ways that can last a lifetime.

Redefining what it means to be productive

The word "productivity" can carry heavy connotations. It suggests endless checklists, exhausting efficiency hacks, and squeezing every drop of output from our waking hours. Laura Mae Martin offers a refreshing alternative, defining productivity in simple terms: "Productivity is accomplishing what you intend to do, when you intend to do it."

This meaning allows us to reclaim our time. It shifts our mindsets from external validation to internal satisfaction.


How to build your syllabus

Let's put this in practical terms. How do you bring these "nice ideas" into the real world? By creating a "personal curriculum" and treating it with the same respect you would have for a college course. Humans respond well to structure and deadlines. Here's how to create a syllabus that sticks:

  1. Follow the spark: Genuine curiosity must drive your personal curriculum. If you hated calculus in high school, don't pick it up again for arbitrary reasons, like trying to feel smart. Look for subjects that make you lose track of time. Identifying every tree in your neighborhood could be one, or mastering the perfect sourdough loaf.
  2. Diversify your materials: Learning exists everywhere, not solely in dense textbooks. Keep required texts engaging and fun, mixing in podcasts, workshops, flashcards, and documentaries. If you are learning a new language, listen to an album in that language. If you're studying paleontology, visit a local natural history museum.
  3. Set the scene: Get yourself in the zone with a little learning mise en place. Find a specific chair and reserve it for reading, or flipping through flashcards. Make a study playlist and fill it with songs to play in the background. When you sit in that chair, or hit play, you are signaling to your brain that it's time to switch into "student" mode.

The 20–30 minute rule

Don't spend all your free time on this. Overload is the greatest pitfall with personal curriculums. We get excited, plan to study every night for two hours straight, then find ourselves exhausted and discouraged.

Sustainability lies in the "Goldilocks" rule for time commitment: keep sessions between 20 and 30 minutes.

Simple 20–30 minute blocks fit into even the busiest schedules yet, they're long enough to achieve a flow state.. Slot one in after dinner or while drinking your morning coffee.

Valerie Craddock, a content creator, shared her November curriculum on TikTok, embracing this method. It included gentle, actionable goals: walk 8,000 steps, practice penmanship three times a week, work out for 30 minutes. By keeping her curriculum low stakes, Craddock set herself up for a winning streak instead of a guilt trip.

Make room for what matters

How do you protect this newfound time? Martin suggests a simple but effective tactic: integrating your personal calendar with your work one.

This gives you a complete view of the week. You might see Tuesday packed with meetings, so you'll make a mental note to keep that evening free. Thursday looks much lighter, offering the perfect window to pencil in that 30-minute creative writing session.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework Woman working, productively.Photo credit: Canva

An approach like this helps you honor the natural ebb and flow of energy, and prevents you from overcommitting on days when you're already drained. When you schedule "fun homework" with the same seriousness as an All-Hands meeting, you're sending yourself a powerful message: personal growth is as important as obligations.

Redefining "you"

One of the most rewarding aspects of the personal curriculum is its ability to reshape our sense of self. In a society obsessed with asking, "What do you do for work?" discovering an answer that's not attached to a paycheck can feel freeing.

When you learn, you transcend the role of parent, employee, or partner—you become a historian, linguist, painter, or botanist.

Buy the notebook, write a syllabus, and enjoy becoming a beginner again. You might discover that a little homework can unlock the key to reconnecting with yourself.

parenting, parenting advice, boomer parents, baby boomer parents, millennial parents, millennial parenting

A man holds a baby as a woman looks on.

There are seemingly endless generational differences in parenting between Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents. As grandparents, many Boomers have been described by Millennials as absent. They've also been labeled with "gramnesia," a blend of "grandparent" and "amnesia," referring to how many seem to forget what raising kids was really like.

One Millennial mom shared a similar take on Reddit, explaining that her Boomer parents made it seem like raising babies was far less taxing for them than it is for modern-day parents.


She wrote, "Everyone I've talked to, their parents make it seem like 'back in the day' all babies just slept. They put them in their cribs and they napped and slept and had no problems and it was just rainbows and sunshine. No contact naps, no sleep training etc. Are they misremembering? Was it just easier??"

Fellow Millennial parents offered experiences and insight with their Boomer parents that felt validating.

millennial mom, millennial parents, raising babies, baby, boomer parents An exhausted mom and her baby.Photo credit: Canva

Millennials share receipts on Boomer parenting

Many Millennials agree that the Boomer perspective on raising kids is skewed:

"I know one boomer who put earplugs in and ignored her baby all night. She'll tell you baby slept through the night. The grandma who lived in the house with them and actually got up for the crying baby might tell you a different story." - TraditionalManager82

"My mom was like 'I thought you were sleeping through the night but your 13 year old brother was actually getting up to take care of you'." - Stepharoni523

"My mom gave us dimetapp 🤣 can't imagine doing that to my kid." - ChoptankSweets

"My boomer mom told me she would put me down for a nap and go for a walk around the neighborhood while I cried." - AppropriateAmoeba406

@johnnyhilbrant

Your boomer parent comments on your parenting… #boomer #parenting #millennial #fyp

"Yep, my boomer MIL visited when my eldest was a week old. Baby started crying because it was time to eat. As I tended to her, my MIL told me to just put her in her crib, close the door to the nursery, and go do something for myself out of the house. Like get my nails done, go have coffee, etc. She said that's what she did with all of her kids. 'They're in the crib, so they can't get hurt' was her reasoning. She also felt I was 'spoiling' my 6 pound baby by feeding her when she was hungry. I was HORRIFIED and never left her alone with my babies no matter how much she offered." - littlebittydoodle

"They weren't held to even half the standards parents today are held to. It was easier because many of them were terrible parents, and that was just fine." - allie06nd

"Even 'good parents' following the recommended guidelines of the time would generally be considered sub-par by today's standards. I also think there is so much more information and awareness of the importance of early childhood development today. This has led to added stress and pressure on today's parents to influence development as positively as possible. And parents feel responsible for any setbacks, real or perceived." - heycarlgoodtoseeyou

Some Millennials defend Boomers

Not everyone agreed that Boomer parents simply had it easier, and they explained why:

millennials, millennial parents, millennial parenting, modern parenting, tired mom A mom yawns while feeding her baby.Photo credit: Canva

"I think there is some truth to the idea that babies generally slept better. The advice then was to lay babies down on their bellies, and many babies do sleep better that way. But of course, it's also more dangerous and not worth the risk, so the advice now is to sleep safely on their backs. But for all of the babies who were luckily able to sleep safely that way, there's a good chance that the parents slept better too." - mdb_la

"Yeah, it's an evolutionary thing. We forget how horrible it was otherwise no one would ever have a second child." - tonyrocks922

"My mom just doesn't remember a lot of the details. I think that goes to show that it really does go quickly and is a faint memory one day. My mom is always saying 'I honestly don't remember this with you girls, so it must not have been that bad!' 🤪 I have a 4 year age gap and I even forgot about the newborn stage. It's just a blur now. I also think no social media/internet at their fingertips back then is also a huge part. Parents just…parented and didn't have constant communication with the 'outside world'." - SaveBandit_02

"I asked my granny how she raised four kids because I struggle with just two of them. She said she thinks I put more into it than she did. So I'm guessing they didn't worry themselves over a lot of the details millennials do. Knowing that I'm making life harder on myself than past generations did doesn't change my behavior, but I do feel more capable and calm and less wrecked when I remind myself that I am choosing to be a highly involved and engaged parent, it's not a requirement, and I am giving them everything I've got of my own free will." - dammitjenna