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'Why women leave’: Wife who 'does everything' shares why she left her husband who did nothing

This is a common story in many households.

divorce, tiktok, why couples divorce

A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.

There are a few big reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida, US-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, so many are pulling double duty for their households.


A TikTokker with two children (@thesoontobeexwife) shared why she decided to leave her husband of two decades and her story recounts a common theme: She did all the work and her husband did little but complain.

The video, entitled “Why women leave,” has received over 2 million views.

@thesoontobeexwife

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

“So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do,” she starts the video. “Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack–make the snack. Kids want to play outside – we play outside.”

Her husband then comes home after attending a volunteer program, which she didn’t want him to join, and the self-centeredness begins. “So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet,” she says in the video.

She then explains how the last time he cooked, which was a rare event, he nearly punched a hole in the wall because he forgot an ingredient. Their previous home had multiple holes in the walls. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and host of the Power of Different podcast, says that when punch walls it’s a sign that they haven’t “learned to deal with anger in a reasonable way.”

“Anyway, finally one kid is hungry,” the TikTokker continues. “So I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”

Then her husband says he’s not doing the dishes because he didn’t eat any pancakes. “Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does the dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing. That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”

She then listed all of the household duties she handles.

“I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe,” she says.

@thesoontobeexwife

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

The video received over 8700 comments and most of them were words of support for the TikTokker who would go on to file for divorce from her husband.

"The amount of women I’ve heard say that their male partners are only teaching how to be completely independent of them, theirs going to be so many lonely men out there," Gwen wrote. "I was married to someone just like this for over 35 years. You will be so happy when you get away from him," BeckyButters wrote.

"The way you will no longer be walking on eggshells in your own home is an amazing feeling. You got this!" Barf Simpson added.


This article originally appeared on 5.21.23

True

After over a thousand years of peaceful relations, European semi-superpowers Sweden and Switzerland may finally address a lingering issue between the two nations. But the problem isn’t either country’s fault. The point is that the rest of the world can’t tell them apart. They simply don’t know their kroppkakor (Swedish potato dumpling) from their birchermüesli (a Swiss breakfast dish).

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Skämtar du med mig? (“Are you kidding me?” in Swedish)

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SpecsaversOfficial/Youtube

"Then I'm gonna give you up…then I'm gonna let you down.."

Rick Astley fans, rejoice. The singer has just released a new recording of his biggest hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” on Oct 24.

Only this version might be…a little different than what you’re used to hearing. Unless of course you’ve been hearing it wrong this entire time.

That’s because this version incorporates all the commonly misheard lyrics associated with the 80s bop. Cause why not?



In the new version of the track, you might notice “we’re no strangers to love” being replaced by “we’re no strangers to lunch,” as well as Astley, for some reason, singing “your aunt’s naked” and belting about running around with dessert spoons.

Listen:

That’s right, “don’t tell me not to plant a seed,” indeed! Free gardening for all!

Of course, this is more than just a fun cover. Astley partnered up with Specsavers to raise awareness of hearing loss—something the 80s icon struggles with himself and currently wears hearing aids to help with the condition.

In an interview with Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary on “This Morning,” Astley shared that he first started noticing issues while performing live shows again.

“I went to have my ears checked. I have noticed over the last few years, and we have in-ears when we play live and I’ve been turning them down over the past few years because I’ve noticed that it’s been too loud when I come off stage. I can hear it ringing,” he said.

Specsavers conducted a survey on 2,000 adults, and found that a little over 16% blamed their hearing for getting lyrics wrong. Meanwhile 28% admitted having difficulty hearing the TV or radio properly. And a whooping 51% find conversations with background noise difficult. (Daily Mail)

And yet, over half of the participants had never had their hearing tested. The reasoning for this could be twofold.

One, people might assume that only those like Astley, who’ve spent a majority of their life surrounded by loud noise, could be susceptible to hearing loss (in actuality, about one-third of older adults have hearing loss, and the chance of developing hearing loss increases with age). So they might not think that a misheard lyric here or there could be a sign of a larger issue.

And two, some people might not want to admit that they are having hearing loss, embarrassed at the notion of having to wear hearing aids and being perceived as old or disabled.

And that’s why Specsavers sought the help of a pop icon in their campaign—to break any stigma surrounding hearing aids and inspire others to get their hearing tested.

“I’d encourage anyone to get their hearing tested if they notice any changes,” says Astley, “so they don’t lose the sounds or music they love.”