+
upworthy
Internet

Are women actually quiet quitting their marriages? Women say not so much.

Men are often blindsided by their partner filing for divorce while women prepare for months.

quiet quit marriage; women divorcing; marriage; women quiet quit; mental load of motherhood
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Women push back on claim they're quiet quitting their marriage

By now everyone's familiar with the term quiet quitting. Doing the bare minimum of your job requirements to not get fired but don't really go above an beyond to secure promotions or pay increases. The term has been applied to areas outside of the workplace as well, specifically dating relationships but in a recent Newsweek article, it's expanded to marriage.

Except, Newsweek's article and accompanying video are implying that the quiet quitting of a marriage is more prevalent for the woman in marriages. Statistics are pretty indisputable—nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women and men, according to the article are often blindsided by the filing.

In the case of quiet quitting marriage, the wife often continues to do the daily responsibilities of a partner and continue having a sexual relationship while planning their exit. But are women actually quiet quitting because women have other opinions on the matter.


A TikTok creator that goes by Indie Jones shared her thoughts on quiet quitting marriage as someone who is twice divorced.

"As a survivor of two marriages, that I did not quietly quit sh**. You see, I was too busy working, taking care of the children, doing all of the house work, doing the yard work, doing minor repairs around the house," Jones says. "Trying to scrape together money to pay the bills. Trying to find people to fix things that go wrong in the house. Literally doing everything because my partner expected to be able to work and come home and do nothing."

Her comment section was filled with similar disputes of the term "quiet quitting" being applied to women planning to leave their husbands.

"We never quiet quit but we eventually choose ourselves after talking to a brick wall," one commenter writes.

"My ex was shocked when I left. I emotionally disconnected years earlier after decades of telling him ad nauseam that I existed in this marriage too. If he was surprised it's because he was too self absorbed to hear or consider me and my needs. Just listen already dudes," another woman explains.

"We haven't quiet quit, they called it nagging and never listened now shocked we discovered we do not need them," someone says.

"I communicated my dissatisfaction LONG AND LOUD for years and my husband was still shocked when I quit my marriage," another commenter revealed.

So it doesn't seem that women aren't being vocal about being unhappy, needing help or wanting things to change. The revelations under Jones' video makes the notion of quiet quitting marriage seem more like one partner ignoring the issue until it's too late because it works for them.

quiet quit marriage; women divorcing; marriage; women quiet quit; mental load of motherhoodbroken heart hanging on wirePhoto by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

According to a recent Pew Research Center report, even when women make just as much as their husbands or are the primary breadwinner, they still do the bulk of the housekeeping and childrearing. In the same report, it reveals that women in these relationships also spend less time on leisure activities than their husbands.

"Even as financial contributions have become more equal in marriages, the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced. Women pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities, while men spend more time on work and leisure."

From the sound of things, women are still bearing the brunt of the household and childrearing responsibilities and being pretty vocal about the imbalance. If there's vocalization of displeasure for months, sometimes years, then are women really "quiet quitting" or are they advocating for a balanced relationship but being ignored? It seems that more research may need to go into this "quiet quitting" marriage phenomenon to get to the bottom of what's happening. But until then, you can check out Jones' video below, though beware of some colorful language choices sprinkled throughout.

@indiepjones46

#greenscreenvideo #greenscreensticker #wtf #news #wtfnews #heyyall #newsweek #quietkid #marriage #divorce #seriously #headlines #dailynews #newsstory #newsupdate #newscommentary #commentary #fyp #foryou

The gaze of the approving Boomer.

Over the past few years, Baby Boomers (1946 to 1964) have been getting a lot of grief from the generations that came after them, Gen X (1965 to 1980), Millenials (1981 to 1996), and now, Gen Z (1997 to 2012). Their grievances include environmental destruction, wealth hoarding, political polarization, and being judgemental when they don’t understand how hard it is for younger people to make it in America these days.

Every Baby Boomer is different, so it's wrong to paint them all with a broad brush. But it’s undeniable that each generation shares common values, and some are bound to come into conflict.

However, life in 2023 isn’t without its annoyances. Many that came about after the technological revolution put a phone in everyone’s hands and brought a whole new host of problems. Add the younger generations' hands-on approach to child rearing and penchant for outrage, and a lot of moden life has become insufferanble.

Keep ReadingShow less

Klein Kwagga understood the assignment at his sister's concert.

Some kids are too shy to ever want to get on a stage, some will spend most of a performance staring awkwardly at their shoes, and some kids love the opportunity to show off what they've practiced in front of an audience.

And then there are the kids were simply born for the spotlight. You know them when you see them.

When Dirkco Jansen van Nieuwenhuizen hopped on stage with all of the other brothers and sisters of the dance students at René’s Art of Dance in South Africa, no one expected a viral sensation. According to Capetown Etc, it was the school's year-end concert, and siblings were invited to come up and dance to Bernice West’s Lyfie—a popular song in Afrikaans. And Dirkco, who goes by Klein Kwagga, took the assignment and ran with it.

Keep ReadingShow less

Prepare to get Thatcherized.

It seems that Adele is going viral once again.

Perhaps you’ve seen the image in question previously (it seems to make the rounds every couple of years). But in case you missed it—it’s Adele’s face. Normal, just upside down.

Only it’s not normal. In fact, when you turn Adele’s face right side up, what you notice is that her eyes and mouth were actually right-side up THE ENTIRE TIME, even though the entire head was upside down. So when you turn the head right side up, the eyes and mouth are now UPSIDE-DOWN—and you can’t unsee it. Do you feel like you're Alice in Wonderland yet?

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

People share the most practical ways to support new parents

There's a lot of preparation that goes into having a child well before they're even born. First there are the physical changes your body makes to clear up some space for a tiny human roughly the size of a watermelon. Then there's preparing the nursery, buying lots of extremely small clothes, diapers and an expected understanding that while sleep may be your friend, you won't be getting any of it for about a year.

Lots of people give plenty of advice to help you cope in the early days but after the baby arrives, the focus shifts to solely the baby. It's obviously not a deliberate shift. Babies are just more shiny and new that the parents. But not everyone forgets about the parents once baby makes their grand entrance–some go out of their way to make sure the parents feel supported.

Upworthy asked its audience, "what was the best non-baby related gift you received as a new parent," and the answers were a masterclass on how to care for new parents.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

A mom seeks doctor's help for postpartum depression and instead gets a visit from the cops

Too many women lose out on much needed support because of unwarranted stigma.

Canva

Postpartum depression is very common, and treatable.

Jessica Porten recently visited her doctor four months after giving birth to her daughter, Kira. She wasn't feeling quite like herself.

She had been dealing with overwhelming sadness and fits of anger, which she knew was likely stemming from a case of postpartum depression.

In a Facebook post, Porten recounts the story of that appointment.

Keep ReadingShow less
Identity

Formerly enslaved man's response to his 'master' wanting him back is a literary masterpiece

"I would rather stay here and starve — and die, if it come to that — than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters."

A photo of Jordan Anderson.

In 1825, at the approximate age of 8, Jordan Anderson (sometimes spelled "Jordon") was sold into slavery and would live as a servant of the Anderson family for 39 years. In 1864, the Union Army camped out on the Anderson plantation and he and his wife, Amanda, were liberated. The couple eventually made it safely to Dayton, Ohio, where, in July 1865, Jordan received a letter from his former owner, Colonel P.H. Anderson. The letter kindly asked Jordan to return to work on the plantation because it had fallen into disarray during the war.

On Aug. 7, 1865, Jordan dictated his response through his new boss, Valentine Winters, and it was published in the Cincinnati Commercial. The letter, entitled "Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master," was not only hilarious, but it showed compassion, defiance, and dignity. That year, the letter would be republished in theNew York Daily Tribune and Lydia Marie Child's "The Freedman's Book."

The letter mentions a "Miss Mary" (Col. Anderson's Wife), "Martha" (Col. Anderson's daughter), Henry (most likely Col. Anderson's son), and George Carter (a local carpenter).

Dayton, Ohio,
August 7, 1865
To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Keep ReadingShow less