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Democracy

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau shares the big understanding that can make democracies healthy again

In an Upworthy excusive, Canada's "unofficial" first lady shares the root of political dysfunction.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau at the White House.

Going through a divorce is one of the most psychologically stressful things someone can experience, right after the death of a spouse (and divorce is a sort of death of its own). But for mother of three Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, her split with Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been even more devastating because it happened on the world’s stage.

The 2023 breakup resulted in Grégoire Trudeau experiencing chronic stress, so she turned to the yoga mat and self-regulation to find strength through the painful transition. "I have never been more attuned and caring of my mental health than through this whole process," she told Yahoo Canada. "I have been pushed to dig into my authenticity and to put my attachment issues aside.”

Grégoire Trudeau documented her struggles and triumphs in a recent memoir, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other, where she discusses living with an eating disorder, confronting difficult truths, and finding a deeper connection to herself. Ultimately, it’s a story about overcoming adversity to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Justin Trudeau

 Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, Justin Trudeau, Canada, Prime Minister, Hamburg Justin und Sophie Trudeau at the Global Citizen Festival in Hamburg. via Frank Schwichtenberg/Wikimedia Commons

On June 24, 2025, she shared her journey at Aspen Ideas: Health during a discussion called “Sophie Grégoire Trudeau: A Personal Wellness Journey.” After the talk, she sat down with Upworthy to share a fascinating connection she made between mental health and politics: healthy democracies require citizens who feel safe in their bodies.

How to create healthy democracies

“Feeling safe in our bodies is a primal need. We all want to feel safe in our bodies. So, if you look at Abraham Maslow's pyramid, safety and having food on your table, a roof over your head—if safety is not there, it's game over for everything else. So, physical safety and emotional safety allows for better human connection. Better human connection means healthier democracies,” she told Upworthy.

She adds that when we are in survival mode, we don’t have time for our deeper needs and lack the bandwidth to develop or practice tolerance and empathy towards others. “You will not be thriving, but you'll be in more of a survival state, and when you're in that mode, your body is doing what it needs to save you. So you don't have much more energy and acceptance or tolerance to give to anyone.”

 Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, White House, Melania Trump, Washington DC, first lady Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Melania Trump.The White House/Wikimedia Commons

When we lack the space for empathy, it becomes harder to understand others, which can throw us into an unending loop of negativity. This can lead to constant rumination about how others are making your life miserable. “It goes on and on and on and on, and it never stops, and then you go and consume something on TikTok or on social media that is about how it's others' fault all the time. 'Well, of course you're miserable, it's their fault,' so that reinforces your rumination process.”

Once people stop showing compassion and empathy for one another, the entire democratic process, from how we discuss issues and culture—whether at our kitchen tables or on social media—is affected. The good news, according to Grégoire Trudeau, is that just like negativity can spiral out of control, positivity can do the same. “A negative loop will reinforce a negative loop, but a positive loop will reinforce a positive loop," she told Upworthy. “So, from a psychological perspective, we can help the brain do that by watching what we consume to stop the negative rumination process.”

The connection Grégoire Trudeau makes between politics and safety is a valuable reminder to all of us who wish to engage in the democratic process while promoting healthy discourse. How we engage with the other side in a debate reveals a great deal more about us than it does about them. When we find ourselves engaging in negativity or refusing to listen to another person’s needs, it may be a clear sign that there’s a significant problem we need to address within ourselves.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Canva Photos

A 9-second video of a woman's divorced parents' last interaction is incredibly powerful.

The statistics around divorce in America sound grim. About half of couples who tie the knot won't make it, and that's generally considered to be a bad thing in the popular discourse; a sign of too much infidelity, poor communication, and other toxic behavior. But what those numbers fail to tell you about is all the couples who split amicably, or who were never the right fit for each other in the first place. In fact, it's possible–and even common—for people to divorce after many years together and still love each other deeply.

That's exactly the sentiment captured in a beautiful nine-second video filmed by Kerrian Connelly Carro.

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathThe statistics around divorce don't always tell the full story. Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

Carro captioned the short clip posted to TikTok: "My parents were divorced over 25 years ago. Met at 12, had me at 19. This was their last video together before my father passed away."

In an interview with Newsweek, Carro explains that the two were finishing up a quick visit with her mom after her dad attended a session of radiation therapy for cancer. Carro filmed the interaction between the two, not knowing for sure that it would be the last time they'd ever see each other.

So much is communicated between the two in just a few seconds of silent footage. They share a loving hug before Carro's mom kisses him on the cheek. She then cinches up his jacket, as if to give him strength to keep on fighting. He pinches her cheeks lovingly and smiles as he turns to leave. And that's the end.

Carro's father would pass away shortly after the video was taken.

Watch the touching moment here:

@kerriannconnellycarro

#myparents #ifiwouldhaveknown #deaddadsclub #grief #griefjourney

Carro said that her parents' divorce wasn't always easy.

The love between the two is incredibly obvious even from just a short video, but the journey that came before was far from sunshine and roses. In the interview, Carro says her mom was the love of her dad's life, and it took him a long time to recover from the breakup. She says the two argued for years after splitting, both angry and trying to find a new path in life for themselves.

But eventually, they made peace with not being together, and their love for each other took over. Carro says they became friends again, supporting each other. And you can see it all come to fruition in their final interaction. The video struck a nerve in viewers everywhere, racking up over 18 million views. Commenters were incredibly moved:

"Like that quote 'even though you didn’t make it to the end of my story, I’ll always have the corner folded down on your page as it was one of my favourites.'"

"Soul mates don’t always mean married mates."

"The way she straightened his jacket, and the way he pinched her cheeks tells me everything I need to know about their love."

"Divorce doesn't mean hate. This is proof of that."

People who had experience living with divorce were especially touched:

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathOne commenter said that soulmates don't always have to be "married-mates." Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

"My parents were better friends than partners."

"Divorced parents here, but they are still BEST FRIENDS. My dad still helps her with house maintenance and visits her once a week to check in. Soul mates aren’t always married mates!"

"My mom's funeral was the only one I ever saw my dad cry at. They were friends much longer than they were married."

About a third of divorces these days are categorized as friendly or at least neutral, rather than hostile. And even in the cases of more contentious separations, many of them just take a little time until the two people remember what they liked and even loved about each other in the first place.

It's rare for people to get married without a strong connection and bond. Disagreements and life circumstances can get in the way and cloud our feelings, and even make reconciliation impossible, but it's amazing to see the proof in Carro's video that that love doesn't always die out.

The video is also a powerful reminder that divorce isn't some great failure. Sometimes it's exactly what both parties need, even if it hurts.

shannonnjune/TikTok

Best friends coparent their children together after going through divorces at same time.

Becoming a single parent after divorce can be an overwhelming challenge. For best friends Shannon Foote (@shannonnjune) and Cheyanne Marie (@_cheyanne_marie_), who both went through divorces at the same time in 2024, they leaned on each other to get through.

Together, they decided to move into a home to co-parent their collective six kids together (Foote has four children, and Cheyanne Marie has two).

"Pro tip: get a divorce at the same time as your best friend and become 2 moms raising 6 kids," she captioned the post. "Two moms is better."

@shannonnjune

Two moms is better #bestfriend #singlemom

In the video, the two share clips from an average day in their life and all that it entails to take care of (and keep up with) their six kids. They do everything as a team, from folding mounds of laundry together to cleaning and supervising their kids as they play.

In another video, Foote and Cheyanne Marie conquer more household chores. In the kitchen, they bag up trash, empty the dishwasher, and clean the countertops and stove. Plus, they get in some more laundry folding and watching their kids play together in their backyard.

@shannonnjune

Life is easier with a village!!! #coparenting #bestfriend #momsoftiktok #singlemom #momof4 And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅

"Life is easier with a village!!!" they captioned the post. They also added, "And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅."

The friends also shared how they divide and conquer when it comes to putting their kids to bed. "We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶," Foote captioned the post. After a fun night of dying Easter eggs as a family, they get to it. Cheyanne Marie takes over laundry folding duties, while Foote cleans the kitchen and living room.

@shannonnjune

We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶 #singlemom #mom #singlemomof4 #momof4 #singlemoms #coparenting #village


Both moms also have jobs. Foote is an electrical contractor, and Cheyanne Marie is a painting contractor.

Foote and Cheyanne Marie have shared more about what went into their decision to move in together to co-parent. "Last year after our divorces, we reached out to each other just to have a good friend while navigating single motherhood," Foote wrote. "Slowly we started spending every night together, our kids started calling us auntie, and life felt normal."

TikTok · shannonnjune

TikTok · shannonnjunewww.tiktok.com

Their videos have gotten lots of support from moms and women going through divorces in co-parenting situations. One wrote, "This is THE FUTURE." Another added, "Being surrounded by their best friends having slumber parties every night probably makes it a little easier for the kids too! I love this you both are doing great! 💝"

Other women shared their experience growing up in similar households or trying this parenting method themselves. "My mom & 2 of her girlfriends did this when I was little & they all got divorced at the same time. it was 3 of them & 8 of us kids.... best childhood memories I have!" one wrote. Another added, "Me and my bestie did this, both left our abusive bds 2 years ago, got a apartment together with our babies and watched them while each other worked. Best thing we ever did."

via Doug Weaver/TikTok

Doug Weaver explains "Husbands in Training" lessons from his mother

Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, about half of those will end in divorce.

Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

No comment on how that's going.

husbands, wives, marriage, couples, love, relationships, marriage tips, marriage advice, love stories, menThough people are waiting longer and being more particular about marriage, the divorce rate remains pretty stubborn.Giphy

The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it's usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn't very promising when you dig into it.

Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

You've heard of things like "Mom-Son Date Night" (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a "date" so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?

Weaver's training was like that on steroids.

"When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called 'Husbands in Training,'" he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. "It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband."

Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on "the ethics of the porn industry." His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

"There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum," Doug said. "There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn't."

Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. "We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being," Doug explained.

A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent... but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.

@dougweaverart

Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story

The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. "A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. "So, he decided he also wanted to take 'Husbands in Training.'"

It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren't usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active "problems" may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.

The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. "My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day," he shared in his TikTok clip.


However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a new YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.

As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage.

This article originally appeared three years ago.