Maybe it's not a crisis at all.
We’re all familiar with the common midlife crisis trope of someone waking up one day and suddenly buying a flashy new car, dating someone half their age, or jumping into some other kind of spontaneous—not to mention questionable—endeavor, all to reclaim a bit of their glory days.
We've seen it in movies and on television, but does this phenomenon actually exist? Many researchers would say the answer is no, and call it more of social construct, since a) not everyone experiences it, b) it doesn’t appear to exist in all parts of the world, and c) the "crisis" in question is triggered by life altering events like divorce, job loss, or unexpected health issues, rather than growing older itself. However, many people anecdotally note that it’s the midlife crisis itself that triggers these events. So, we’ve got a bit of a chicken-or-the-egg situation.
However, regardless of how scientifically sound the concept is, plenty of people note feeling a need to reevaluate their lives and confront their own mortality during this period. So, we might as well consider its legitimacy. Furthermore, unlike how it’s typically portrayed in the media, midlife crises can actually lead to some incredibly positive impacts.
That was certainly the case for these folks over 40 who were asked via Reddit what their midlife crisis looked like. Yes, maybe a few did end up buying a fancy car, but, by and large, it sounds like people used these existential chapters to really align their lives with their values, which is pretty darn inspiring and certainly a refreshing take against the whole “aging is terrible” narrative we’re regularly fed.
Many chose to travel (and move) abroad
Any excuse you can use to travel more, right? Photo credit: Canva
“Backpacked around Europe for 5 months after getting divorced at 39. Quite honestly, that trip saved my life. 40 is going great so far!”
“Traveled across China and fell in love with a woman on an overnight train to Beijing. Just met up with her again in Vietnam last month. Who knows how this ends, but she is the most interesting person I’ve ever met. Zero regrets so far.”
“Moved to Berlin, had a 3 year bender…and then I moved back home. best decision I’ve ever made (both moving there and moving back).”
“I moved half a planet away from the country of my birth and married a man 16 years younger than me. We’ve been married 17 years now, so it worked out for the best, but boy did I go scorched earth.”
Others decided to learn something new or finally take up a new hobby
Sometimes getting older is about letting yourself be young again. Photo credit: Canva
“I bought about $15,000 worth of guitars, amps, and accessories all at once in my late 40s. Still play the same notes and chords I was playing when I was 16. I thought something great was going to occur…it didn’t.”
“Bought a ukulele. Playing it a lot.”
“Taking improv and acting classes, clumsily working out, doing my best not to quit my work.”
“Went back to grad school, zero regrets.”
“I’m in my second year of learning French.”
“Legos…..ungodly amount of legos.”
Quite a few cut habits, people, and lifestyles that no longer served them
Goes to show that it's never too late to make healthy changes in life. Photo credit: Canva
“Got fired from my job because I am a drug addict. Wound up homeless for a few months last summer and now, after nearly a year of going through detox, rehab, halfway house, and now a 3/4 house, finally have some control over shit.”
“I’ve decided to quietly fade the woman I’ve called a best friend for over 20 years. We have very different ideas of what friendship should look like, and I’ve come to a dual conclusion: she likes me but doesn’t respect me, and I love her out of sheer loyalty.”
“It’s a doozy. Starting off with a divorce and basically rebuilding myself and my life from scratch.”
For the majority, a midlife crisis looked like scaling back on (or flat-out quitting) their job
Sometimes we just gotta get off that hamster wheel.Photo credit: Canva
“Quit my job, started my own company. The crisis was a catalyst for change, which is what most people need more of in their lives, lest we become over-comfortable and whiny.”
“I gave up sales and became a mental health counselor for kids. Just wanted to feel like I was helping.”
“I quit my job that took my 30s away. I had no plan at all. The place just felt toxic the whole time. Found a job 10 months later, which was part-time, and I couldn’t be happier. During those 10 months, I was likely recovering from 11 years of anguish stemming from that job. Time off will do your mind so much good and give you clarity for what’s ahead. Don’t discredit what you can do without making money.”
“A few family health crises made me realize that my career (which is typically regarded as “prestigious” and required many years of postgraduate education) is not as important as my family. I still like my job, but I refuse to give it more than 40 hours a week because each extra hour means less time with the people I love. I scaled back my ambitions and had to accept just being “good enough” at work, but I’m much happier now.”
“I stopped trying to climb the corporate ladder. Just learned to live with less, and in turn my days are much easier and more peaceful.”
Many became more focused on engaging in healthy activities (running, specifically)
Marathons are the new Corvettes. Photo credit: Canva
“Started doing marathons and triathlons…..beats buying a Corvette.”
“I’m at the marathon stage. My budget is hoping I don’t progress to the triathlon stage.”
A few ended up giving themselves a bit of a makeover…or at least switched up their shopping habits.
It amazing how much of a transformation a haircut can provide. Photo credit: Canva
“The summer I was 42, I got bangs and dyed my hair purple.”
“48. In the last few years, I’ve gotten the tattoo and helix earring I’ve been wanting forever. Stopped dying my hair dark brown and let it be. Started jogging and eating clean… I call it an awakening.”
“I had pink hair for a couple weeks during COVID, but that was it – I’m 51.”
“Started buying clothes from Costco. It’s wild man…”
Many started taking their happiness seriously and cut out all the noise
"Best investment I’ve ever made was in myself.”Photo credit: Canva
“45. Completely reinvented my life. Decided my only goal for the rest of it was to pursue joy. Anything that doesn’t bring me peace and joy? I don’t invest in it. Best investment I’ve ever made was in myself.”
And yes, some bought a car
Hey, if it makes your happy, and it doesn't hurt anyone…Photo credit: Canva
“I bought a Dodge Challenger.”
“Sports car and sports car accessories.”
“I guess mine was that I bought another old BMW. (’86 E30).”
“I’ve had serious anxiety issues surrounding cars and driving. So I bought a sports car and tracked it. Getting into motorsports is helping me be a better driver, but it was a total midlife crisis purchase.”
“Motorcycles . Maybe that was a combo of post divorce thing for myself and mid life crisis idk but I’m enjoying it.”
Point being, maybe a midlife “crisis” isn’t something we have to be afraid of at all. Maybe it’s another way we are able to actually sink our teeth a little deeper into our one precious life. And, hey, if it comes with travel…sign me up.
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