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Parents go viral for 'secret' praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.

“I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!”

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice gentle parenting.

There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she's within earshot but out of sight. These aren't your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they'd never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.


In a viral Instagram post that's garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child's back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one's true self.”

In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she's listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:

“I'm just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.

“She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She's always telling me, 'Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,'” says Zephi), before concluding that she's amazing.

“She's amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.



People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”

Another parent shared a powerful example:

“My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, 'He's very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.' The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, 'Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.'”

Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I'd be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”

“Stop, I was just thinking last night, 'When I have kids, I'm going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,'” another enthusiastically shared.


child, hiding, parenting, conversations, praise Children believe that conversations between adults are more “authentic” and honest. Photo credit: Canva

Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.

“This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There's something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they're being genuine because they're not saying it directly to you.”

This effectiveness stems from children's innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child's self-image.

These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara's dad's comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”


Yet, it's crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.

Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”

The viral response to Mulwanda's video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It's heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn't experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:

“To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more.
If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” - Namwila Mulwanda

This article originally appeared in June.

allthingsmely/Instagram

Single mom gives moving speech to daughter upset her father left the family.

Single parents are caretakers of their children's hearts in a unique way. When a separation or divorce befalls a family, the fallout can leave many parents struggling to pick up the pieces of their own broken hearts and their kids'.

Instagrammer and single mom Mely (@allthingsmely) shared a vulnerable video of how she's helping heal her young daughter's heart after her father left their family. During the tender conversation, her daughter expressed her sadness, and Mely reminds her of her love and worth while allowing space for her to express her emotions.

"To every mom healing little hearts while healing her own: you are not alone. I see you," she wrote in the video's caption. She added, "Being a solo mom is tender, exhausting and beautiful all at once and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done."

The video is taken in the family's bathroom after bath time, and Mely gets down on eye-level with her daughter who is wrapped in her robe and crying to her. Mely says to her in Spanish, "It's okay to feel sad. It's okay," she says. "But I want you to know that you are SO LOVED. You are special. You are worthy of time, love and respect. You are so worthy of it all. You are worthy of it simply because you exist. It's okay to be sad. And mommy will always be here. I love you."

At the end of the video, she hugs and kisses her daughter in a sweet embrace. In the video's caption, she shared more about the pain her daughter is feeling: "The ache of absence is something I carried in silence for years, trying to protect my kids from it. But now, it’s more visible than ever through the physical distance and indifference of someone who was supposed to love us, cherish us and protect us," she wrote.

While Mely is dealing with her own emotional pain from separation, she shares that, "I can only imagine how confusing and painful it must be for a child (especially a 4 year old) to feel like she’s not being chosen or fully adored. But I see her pain. I feel it too."

She adds that the reason she is sharing the video is so that "every single mama out there feels a little less alone in this journey," before ending the post with a powerful sentiment. "I pray my kids grow up knowing that their mom chose courage. That she knew her worth and walked away from a life of emotional neglect and betrayal. That they are worthy of a love that’s present, consistent and safe. And that their hearts deserve to be cherished every day of their lives."

The emotional video had many people expressing praise for Mely in the comments. "This is so beautiful 🥹 I don’t know who needed to hear this most, you or your little one ❤️🩹," one wrote. Another added, "I Love this!!!!! Every child needs their mother’s there for reassurance 🥺❤️🙏🏽✨🙌🏼🫶🏼🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹." And another touched viewer commented, "Remember this goes for you too Mama, heal the little girl in you 🥹🫶."

DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

Dad photoshops daughter's lost stuffed T-Rex toy to buy himself time.

There are few things worse than a lost beloved stuffed animal. The loss is not only tough on kids, but on adults too (to figure out a solution). But one dad turned tragedy into something positive when his four-year-old daughter lost her stuffed toy T-Rex dinosaur.

He shared on social media his hilarious solution with other parents. Instead of delivering the bad news to his daughter that her T-Rex was gone forever, he created an elaborate story–explaining that her T-Rex had gone on a long vacation, and would be arriving home soon.

"My 4 year old daughter lost her stuffed T-rex on vacation. To buy time until I could get a new one, I told her that he said he wanted more time to enjoy himself," he wrote. "Every day I would edit him into one of my vacation photos and e-mail it to myself and show it to her as 'proof' of his extended vacation."

t-rex, t-rex toy, vacation, photshop, dadDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex toy into vacation photos.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

He added that his daughter lost the T-Rex while in Bruges, Belgium. "We started our vacation in Bruges and noticed when we got to Amsterdam that he was gone. I e-mailed the hotel we stayed at multiple times but they never e-mailed me back," he shared.

But it all ended up working out okay in the end. "When I finally got a new one, I put him on the front porch with some Belgian chocolate he got her and a new friend that he met. I then rang the doorbell from my phone and told her to check whether it was Sparkly Rex," he shared.

t-rex, t-rex toy, vacation, photshop, dadDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex toy into vacation photos to buy himself time.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

A fellow parent commented, "This is so wholesome! I bet she'll remember this moment forever, you seem like a wonderful dad!" And he replied, "Thank you! I hope she remembers it, too. I got some nice photos and a video of her answering the door so at least I'll always have it if her memory fades."

Another parent added, "GREAT JOB!!!!! Making a hard issue into an adventure. Great parenting. Keep up the good work. Your child is lucky to have you." And he responded, "Thank you! I appreciate it! She's the boss of the house, need to keep her happy."

first class, t-rex, lost toy, vacation, parenting storyDad photoshops daughter's lost T-Rex flying first class.DuffManSzALotAThings/Reddit

Other parents opened up about their stories with lost stuffed animals. One parent wrote, "My son lost his favorite irreplaceable stuffie when we stayed at a swanky hotel one time. Simply disappeared overnight and we concluded he got sent to the laundry. I begged and pleaded to be let down into the laundry to look but they refused. I drew a reward poster featuring the stuffie and we asked them to post it in all the housekeeping spaces. The whole plane ride home my son asked me what percent chance would his stuffie get sent back (very math oriented from early age) and endless discussions of his possible fate. I settled on 20-30%. A week later, the beloved stuffie appeared, overnighted in a Fed Ex envelope. My son was so so happy and I was thrilled and impressed. That stuffie never traveled with us again!! And I will forever be grateful and loyal to that hotel."

Another parent shared, "Many years ago I accidentally left my challenged daughter’s stuffed animal, (Meeko the raccoon from Pocahontas), on top of my car while leaving a restaurant. She cried for days worried that something had happened to him. Meeko was very well loved. He was missing an eye, his tongue, and had a torn ear. But Meeko was always sleeping next to my daughter every night when she went to bed. We stalled for time by telling her Meeko wanted to take a vacation and would be back soon. The whole time I scoured every toy and department store in nearby areas looking for a new one to no avail. Finally found one on eBay and tripled the high bid to make sure I got him . When he finally showed up he was greeted with many, many loving hugs! My daughter scolded Meeko for running away and grounded him for ever. Years later, when my daughter passed away, they were cremated together so they would never be apart."

Some dads just get it.

There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud. The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma, and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents of course have a lot of love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort when their kid suffers as any good parent would. Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) recently shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

boomers, boomer couple, parents, boomer parents, adult kidsSometimes parents do understand.Image via Canva.

“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “...boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix 😂”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad is faced toward the window describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever. They go back and forth a little bit, but it's clear that her dad just wants to sit with her in the moment, be a little silly, and provide her with some comfort.

Watch:

@jac.rose8

#divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that a lot of words aren’t always necessary.

‘“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best 🥰”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner.

@jac.rose8

Replying to @NatCat1738 #divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #supportivemom #disabilitytiktok

It can be easy to sometimes focus a little too much on the generational differences between boomers and everyone else, but really, it goes to show that great parents (and great people) exist in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don't need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.

This article originally appeared two years ago.