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Stepmom makes bold move after being pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby

It ignited a powerful conversation about what a grandparent's responsibilities really are.

Photo credit: Canva

Folks wholeheartedly agreed with her decision.

What is a grandparent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? This is a question with a billion different answers, depending on who you ask, and one that can lead to a lot of conflict within a family.

Some grandparents want to take on an active role in their grandkid's lives, which can lead to unsolicited visits and other forms of boundary crossing. Others feel that their child rearing days are over, and that they've earned the right to take on less responsibility, which can also lead to stress and hurt feelings.

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum further complicated this conundrum, since the woman at the center of the controversy was a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15 (Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10). The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

stepgrandparents, grandparents, grandparent problems, child support, stepmom When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?Photo credit: Canva

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties. The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent. Portland, OR is part of a very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

stepgrandparents, grandparents, grandparent problems, child support, stepmom, single mom "Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was."Photo credit: Canva

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter\u2019s baby.\"" photo_credit_src="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqFfX0A8UAc" photo_credit="Photo credit: Canva"] "[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby."Photo credit: Canva

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," one person wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," another added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's, saying " Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money."

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Single mom gives unforgettable speech to young daughter after her father left them

"Mom will always be here, my babies 🥹❤️."

allthingsmely/Instagram

Single mom gives moving speech to daughter upset her father left the family.

Single parents are caretakers of their children's hearts in a unique way. When a separation or divorce befalls a family, the fallout can leave many parents struggling to pick up the pieces of their own broken hearts and their kids'.

Instagrammer and single mom Mely (@allthingsmely) shared a vulnerable video of how she's helping heal her young daughter's heart after her father left their family. During the tender conversation, her daughter expressed her sadness, and Mely reminds her of her love and worth while allowing space for her to express her emotions.

"To every mom healing little hearts while healing her own: you are not alone. I see you," she wrote in the video's caption. She added, "Being a solo mom is tender, exhausting and beautiful all at once and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done."

The video is taken in the family's bathroom after bath time, and Mely gets down on eye-level with her daughter who is wrapped in her robe and crying to her. Mely says to her in Spanish, "It's okay to feel sad. It's okay," she says. "But I want you to know that you are SO LOVED. You are special. You are worthy of time, love and respect. You are so worthy of it all. You are worthy of it simply because you exist. It's okay to be sad. And mommy will always be here. I love you."

At the end of the video, she hugs and kisses her daughter in a sweet embrace. In the video's caption, she shared more about the pain her daughter is feeling: "The ache of absence is something I carried in silence for years, trying to protect my kids from it. But now, it’s more visible than ever through the physical distance and indifference of someone who was supposed to love us, cherish us and protect us," she wrote.

While Mely is dealing with her own emotional pain from separation, she shares that, "I can only imagine how confusing and painful it must be for a child (especially a 4 year old) to feel like she’s not being chosen or fully adored. But I see her pain. I feel it too."

She adds that the reason she is sharing the video is so that "every single mama out there feels a little less alone in this journey," before ending the post with a powerful sentiment. "I pray my kids grow up knowing that their mom chose courage. That she knew her worth and walked away from a life of emotional neglect and betrayal. That they are worthy of a love that’s present, consistent and safe. And that their hearts deserve to be cherished every day of their lives."

The emotional video had many people expressing praise for Mely in the comments. "This is so beautiful 🥹 I don’t know who needed to hear this most, you or your little one ❤️🩹," one wrote. Another added, "I Love this!!!!! Every child needs their mother’s there for reassurance 🥺❤️🙏🏽✨🙌🏼🫶🏼🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹." And another touched viewer commented, "Remember this goes for you too Mama, heal the little girl in you 🥹🫶."

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Mom traveling solo with toddler shocked by the outpouring help she got from total strangers

It all started when her flight got canceled.

@notaregularnanny/TikTok

Faith in humanity (and travel) restored.

Stories that involve air travel don’t usually restore our faith in humanity. You’re way more likely to find headlines featuring lost or stolen luggage, rude passengers or unhelpful staff. But every so often, one will come around to remind us that kindness does, in fact, exist…even 40,000 feet up in the air. And when they do appear, they simply must be shared.

In an exclusive in PEOPLE, Gabrielle G., a 27-year-old solo mom who goes by @notaregularnanny on social media, shared how she had been traveling with her 18-month-old son back home to Florida from a Fourth of July family visit in Kansas City, Mo., when her flight got canceled due to an IT outage.

This would be the first of a whole slew of unfortunate circumstances. For Gabrielle was able to rebook a connecting flight through Detroit, however, she and her son were booted off the new flight due to a spacing snafu.

This would be enough for anyone to lose hope, let alone a young single mom taking care of a child all by herself. But in that moment, Gabrielle was about to learn she wasn’t as alone as she thought.

Just as she was about to exit the plane, another mom offered to put her 2-year-old son on her lap so that Gabrielle and her child could take the extra seat. “We ended up getting a seat on that plane after all because of her,” she told People.

But the kindness didn’t stop there. Gabrielle would tell PEOPLE that even though her journey home would include a few more obstacles, like another cancelled flight once she landed in Detroit, as well as no available rental cars or hotel rooms, the strangers she’d meet along the way would help that journey ultimately be an incredibly heartwarming one.

In a now viral video, Gabrielle listed off those helpful strangers—from the old man who helped her son up to look out the airplane window, to the family that entertained him while they were stuck on the tarmac for hours, to the Uber driver who let them stay in his car while they waited for their train so they’d stay safe, and more.


@notaregularnanny

Sobbing crying making this video ❤️‍🩹🥲 my faith in humanity was restored after this whole experience #ittakesavillage #myvillage #motherhood #solotravel #solomom #travelingwithkids #stranded #momsoftiktok #faithinhumanityrestored

So many viewers chimed in to share how simply watching the clip restored their own faith in humanity as well.

“My childhood trauma has taught me to trust NOBODY, I cried my eyes out watching this because [of this] exchange of compassion and love by strangers! Thank you for healing a part of me!” one person wrote.

Another said, “If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that humanity isn’t as awful as it’s currently portrayed to be. May we all take care of one another.”

Others noted how this was a prime example of how “the village” doesn’t always have to be our close friends and family. Rather, it can be, one one person put it, “the people you pass by throughout life.”

Another person wrote, “Be someone’s village! I will always offer to help keep tabs on a kiddo or play with them while a parent handles something. It takes so little effort to choose kindness, help, listen, entertain.”

Another simply dubbed this video as “hopecore,” which feels so appropo. May all our feeds, and our hearts be filled with more hopecore just like this.

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How young should kids start paying rent? Mom charges teenage son to have his own room.

Is he learning a lesson or getting taken advantage of?

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash and CottonBro Studio/Pexels

A mom counting her teenage son's rent money.

A single mother of 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, found herself in a bind. Her 16-year-old son was tired of sharing a room with his 14-year-old brother and wanted some privacy. The family lives in a 3-bedroom house, where mom gets a room and the youngest 3 siblings share one as well.

"Two months ago, my son and I were discussing his distaste for sharing a room with his brother and he said he'd drop out of school now if it meant he could move out into his own space," the mother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum. The teenager has a job and enough money to buy extras such as clothes, shoes and plenty of junk food.

"I told him I had looked at 4-bedroom rentals in our area, but they were just too expensive," the mom continued. "He asked if he could pay the difference if we did move. I told him no because during the school year all his money would be going to rent not his savings and his spending money. That obviously wouldn't sit right with me."

Eventually, the two came to a compromise. For $50 a month, he could have his mother's room. The mother would sleep on the pull-out couch and the other two rooms would be split among the other four siblings.

teen sleeping, rent, redditA teenage boy sleepingvia John-Mark Smith/Pexels

The mother is putting the money towards her Christmas fund, which will be used to pay for a summer trip after the holidays.

However, after talking to some of her friends, the mother began to have second thoughts about the arrangement. "They think I'm wrong for taking any amount of money from my kids, and a couple of them said I should have just given him the room without making him pay for it. They make some good points, and I don't totally disagree," she wrote.

So she asked the Reddit forum if she was in the wrong for charging her son.

mom, upset mom, mom on computerA distressed mom looks at her laptop.via Alexander Dummer/Pexels

The responses were pretty divided on the issue, but most thought the mother was right.

"There is a wild difference between charging your underage kids rent and accepting $50 a month (that is going back to the kids) so a growing teenager can have privacy. No other children are getting less, and no one is abused by any means. Not exactly an ideal solution, but tricky problems require unconventional solutions," one commenter wrote. "I like the life lesson you are imparting. For the people saying that it's so terrible that you are charging him rent, I don't see it that way. Your son wants his own room to which he is not entitled. He works, he earns his own money, and wants something which he values. You're making him do what all of us have to do to get the things we want in life: PAY FOR IT!"

However, a vocal group of people thought the mother was in the wrong, not for charging her teenage son, but for not giving the room to her daughter, who is 9 and shares a room with her 7-year-old brother.

mom, reddit, rentA young girl wearing a scarf.via Janko Ferlic/Pexels

"Why is she not the priority when it comes to having a separate bedroom or at least sharing with you? At 9, she is at an age where it may seem like she is okay sharing a room with her brothers but she probably isn't. Girls are starting puberty and becoming self-conscious of their bodies at that age. They shouldn't have to worry about sharing a bedroom with their brothers," a commenter wrote. "So your 9 yo daughter is sharing a room with her brother? It’s time to find a better solution for your family. Your daughter is of the age that she shouldn’t be sharing anymore with boys," another added.

Plenty of people also judged the mother for having 5 children in a 3-bedroom house, but since they don't know the story surrounding her family's circumstances, that critique should be off limits.

Ultimately, the commenters agreed that the mother is doing her best in a challenging circumstance. It has to be incredibly hard raising 5 children as a single parent. Keeping them all happy in such close quarters must constantly stress everyone. Further, it seems that the 16-year-old son has his own job and can’t wait to leave the house so that the tight situation will loosen up in a few years.

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