To save his marriage, Terry Crews had to completely rethink what it means to be a man.

Crews showed his bravery in sharing his own #MeToo story. It turns out his own awakening started much earlier.

In October 2017, the actor made headlines when he opened up about having been sexually harassed by a Hollywood producer years earlier. It was an incredibly powerful moment that both showed the complexities of the #MeToo movement and helped bring more men into the fold as allies.

But it turns out Crews wasn't always such an evolved guy. He says that back in 2009, his wife nearly left him because of his own toxic masculinity, shaped by a lifetime of distorted ideas that influenced his beliefs in what it meant to be a man.


“As a man, I was taught that I was more valuable than my wife and kids," he said. "That’s deep — and I didn’t even realize it until I dissected it.”

Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr.

He knew he needed help and was strong enough to ask for it.

Crews said he sought professional treatment for an addiction to pornography and went through therapy to begin a path of self-reflection. Over time, the former NFL star and his wife Rebecca King-Crews reunited and they remain together.

“My wife has always brought the wisdom,” he said. “I truly believe you don’t see your own faults. There were so many times I just knew I was right and my wife was like, ‘Uhh uhh.’”

When it comes to unraveling his own past distorted views of masculinity, Crews wasn't shy about what he now thinks. "It’s a cult no different than Jim Jones or David Koresh,” he said.

In a separate interview, Crews offered some simple but poignant advice for men as they trudge through their own attempts to grapple cultural pressures and norms. “Don’t speak for women," he said. "Hold other men accountable.”

The response from other men has been mostly positive but there's also been a noticeable silence from other actors.

In March 2018, Crews shared an encouraging letter he received from Old Spice, in which employees at the company offered their support in response to Crews speaking out about his own #MeToo experience.

However, he also noted the deafening silence from his male co-stars in "The Expendables" film series, alleging that one of the film's producers even tried pressuring him into being silent over the issue of sexual assault.

There's nothing wrong with being masculine. But real strength comes from vulnerability and personal growth.

Men like Crews and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson show us that the concept of masculinity is more complex than most people think.

As a former athlete and physically imposing action star, there's nothing passive about Terry Crews. This is a man who has literally made people laugh by repeatedly screaming at the camera in his hilarious Old Spice commercials.

But much like when The Rock recently opened up about his own struggles with depression, these decidedly masculine men are showing the world, especially other guys, that there's a difference between being strong and being toxic.

Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash
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This story was originally shared on Capital One.

Inside the walls of her kitchen at her childhood home in Guatemala, Evelyn Klohr, the founder of a Washington, D.C.-area bakery called Kakeshionista, was taught a lesson that remains central to her business operations today.

"Baking cakes gave me the confidence to believe in my own brand and now I put my heart into giving my customers something they'll enjoy eating," Klohr said.

While driven to launch her own baking business, pursuing a dream in the culinary arts was economically challenging for Klohr. In the United States, culinary schools can open doors to future careers, but the cost of entry can be upwards of $36,000 a year.

Through a friend, Klohr learned about La Cocina VA, a nonprofit dedicated to providing job training and entrepreneurship development services at a training facility in the Washington, D.C-area.

La Cocina VA's, which translates to "the kitchen" in Spanish, offers its Bilingual Culinary Training program to prepare low-and moderate-income individuals from diverse backgrounds to launch careers in the food industry.

That program gave Klohr the ability to fully immerse herself in the baking industry within a professional kitchen facility and receive training in an array of subjects including culinary skills, food safety, career development and English language classes.

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Vanna White appeared on "The Price Is Right" in 1980.

Vanna White has been a household name in the United States for decades, which is kind of hilarious when you consider how she gained her fame and fortune. Since 1982, the former model and actress has made millions walking back and forth turning letters (and later simply touching them—yay technology) on the game show "Wheel of Fortune."

That's it. Walking back and forth in a pretty evening gown, flipping letters and clapping for contestants. More on that job in a minute…

As a member of Gen X, television game shows like "Wheel of Fortune" and "The Price is Right" send me straight back to my childhood. Watching this clip from 1980 of Vanna White competing on "The Price is Right" two years before she started turning letters on "Wheel of Fortune" is like stepping into a time machine. Bob Barker's voice, the theme music, the sound effects—I swear I'm home from school sick, lying on the ugly flowered couch with my mom checking my forehead and bringing me Tang.

This video has it all: the early '80s hairstyles, a fresh-faced Vanna White and Bob Barker's casual sexism that would never in a million years fly today.

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