What is 'eggshell parenting'? Psychologist breaks down the complicated parenting style
'Eggshell parenting' is a new buzzword that warrants serious consideration.

Having to “walk on eggshells” is an uncomfortable situation for anyone. But when children are forced to do it around the very people meant to keep them safe, it’s downright painful. And the damage caused can be long-lasting.
In a viral TikTok post, psychologist Dr. Kim Sage breaks down this unhealthy parenting style and what exactly constitutes an “eggshell parent.”
With eggshell parents, Dr. Sage explains, the parent’s mood is always “unstable” and “like being on a rollercoaster.”
An emotional outburst could include name calling, verbal berating, gaslighting, accusations, threats, intimidation, shame, mocking, invalidation, yelling, even destroying possessions…while other times the mom or dad might be very supportive and loving.
Never knowing what to expect, kids of eggshell parents then have to become “hypervigilant” to prepare for whatever comes next.
@drkimsage Eggshell parenting and emotionally unpredictable, unsafe parenting often creates a lifetime of hypervigilance in us —and a deep belief that there’s no such thing as real safety in relationships.💔#eggshellparent #toxicparent #walkingoneggshells #emotionallyimmatureparents #narcissisticparent #drkimsage ♬ original sound - Dr. Kim🦋Psychologist
Oftentimes, Dr. Sage notes, this kind of dynamic leads to parentification and/or enmeshment, leaving the child not only without emotional boundaries of their own but also in a position of regulating the parent’s emotions and possibly even taking care of the household while doing so.
The biggest problem with eggshell parenting is that it eviscerates trust.
“No matter how much ‘good love’ you give as a parent…if tomorrow that love is unsafe, if it’s hurtful, if it’s conditional…the good love doesn’t really mean the same thing,” Dr. Sage says in a follow-up video.
How does this dynamic carry over into a kid’s adulthood? It shows up as social anxiety, an inherent lack of trust in others and a tendency to isolate.
In other words: “What you start to believe is that if your own mother or father or caregiver is not generally consistently safe, then no one is safe.”
@drkimsage Eggshell mothers, eggshell fathers, eggshell parents…#eggshellmother #eggshellparent #enmeshment #parentification #drkimsage #toxicparent ♬ original sound - Dr. Kim🦋Psychologist
Dr. Sage’s videos struck a chord with millions of viewers who considered themselves raised by eggshell parents.
One person recalled, “This is my family. Constantly dancing around my father’s moods and my mother’s coping mechanisms. Neither able to connect with me on any meaningful level.”
Another added, “It was like a battlefield. You had to worry about sniper fire and bombs going off. Truly feared for my life.”
Still another wrote, “Anxiety. Scanning. Waiting. It’s exhausting. I spend weekends by myself by choice. It takes days to feel like me after socializing.”
Considering that so many people feel the aftermath of certain toxic parenting styles like eggshell parenting, it’s no wonder why parents today are so interested in gentler and healthier approaches.
In order to avoid repeating the eggshell pattern, Dr. Sage recommends that parents take active steps to regulate their own emotions, rather than displaying volatility towards their children. And if there is a sudden emotional shift, take responsibility for the action instead of leaving kids to internalize it all.
So much of parenting seems to be figuring out how to avoid the shortcomings of our own parents. Luckily, social media and helpful professionals like Dr. Sage make that task just a little bit easier.
Catch even more of her videos here.
This article originally appeared on 8.23.23
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An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.