upworthy

body-shaming

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story:

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.

“And the number of people who felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture—that I’m not aging well, that I look like a man, why would she even post a picture like this when I look that terrible!” she continued. “And I was amazed at how that made me feel. I’m a 50-year-old woman and I know who I am, and still my feelings got hurt. I was sad that people couldn’t see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. I thought, ‘What if I was 15?’”


body shaming, instagram, social media, body, dysmorphiaA young woman looks uncomfortable in the mirror. Image via Canva.

Beauty influencer Samantha Marika combined the audio of Julia telling the story, added it to the candid photo of her and Emma, and posted it to Instagram, and it went viral. The post has since been deleted, but in February 2024, actress and author Ali Wentworth posted a similar video of the photo of Roberts with her niece along with other photos from throughout the actress' life. Her words to Oprah play over the video and Wentworth applauds Roberts for being "spot on about the corrosive nature of social media and its effect on younger generations" in the caption.

In short, Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.” The Cyberbullying Research Center confirms these findings, noting in 2023 that "adolescent girls are morel likely to have experienced cyberbullying in their lifetimes (59.2% vs. 49.5% for adolescent boys).

bullies, cyberbullying, teen girls, adolescent girls, social mediaGirls experience cyberbullying more than their peers. Image via Canva.

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Wentworth's video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her niece.

“I thought they were going to say how much like twins they look like & just a sweet beautiful moment they let us in on, when they didn't have to,” one viewer wrote.

"The anonymous aspect of social media adds to the cruelty. This picture is lovely and your statement is so true," said another.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

@60minutes/TikTok

"I hope this huants you."

Over the years, Kate Winslet has solidified herself not only as an actress, but as an outspoken advocate for women. She’s been particularly outspoken about the horrendous messages women receive (starting at a very early age) on subjects relating to body image, and how to combat against them.

Often, Winslet has a plethora of real life experiences to draw from for…inspiration. She’s previously been candid about the body-shaming she received after making her Oscar winning acting debut in Titanic. Imagine hitting a career milestone like that and still being made to feel worthless (certainly not an unrelatable feeling for many women).

Still, Winslet offered a fresh glimpse into this time in her life during a recent interview for 60 Minutes. In it, she was shown an old red carpet clip from E!, where an on-air host said Winslet looked “a little melted and poured into” the dress she was wearing, and that she “needed two sizes larger and she’d be OK.”

Even the interviewer—as well as all of us now—could note how blatantly "cruel" this offhanded comment was. Winslet herself said "what kind of person must they be to do something like that to a young actress who’s just trying to figure it out.”

Then Winslet recalled that she “did get face to face” with the press.

“I let them have it. I said, ‘I hope this haunts you.’”



Getting visibly emotional, she called the confrontation a “It was a great moment,” because it wasn’t just for her, but for “all those people who were subjected to that level of harassment.”

If Kate Winslet—a confident, smart, objectively successful woman—still gets hurt from these comments years later…imagine how damaging they must be for everyone else.

And it’s not like Winslet is now free of weird and harmful criticisms. While starring as famed World War II-era photojournalist Lee Miller in the biopic Lee, the star had to "armor" herself up for being called “brave” for wearing no makeup, and being told to "suck in and sit up" to avoid showing "lumps” by a crew member.

Though it hurts, Winslet continues to define beauty on her own terms. The happiness that comes from family, taking care of yourself, living in integrity, and yes, even wrinkles, are all markers of true beauty in her eyes. What’s more, she had come to discover that “beauty is really a feeling, I don't think it's a thing that we look at." This epiphany is how we all break the spell that society puts us under.

In some ways, we are thankfully dismantling these damaging messages. But no parent of a teenage girl with full access to social media would tell you we are free from its shackles by a long shot. So until we are, it’s important to keep letting folks “have it.”

You can watch Winslet’s full 60 Minutes interview here.

Culture

'Bridgerton' star Nicola Coughlan's pleas for fans to stop commenting on her body

Many celebrities have been taking a stand on receiving fan commentary about their weight. Nicola's hits a bit differently.

Bridgerton actor Nicola Coughlan in 2021.

The internet, for all its many wondrous things, can also be a cesspool of body-shaming, both outright and insidious. We see this most persistently perhaps with celebrities, who take on the role of dissection subjects regarding their weight. Whether being deemed “too thin” or “too fat,” comments about a public figure’s weight seems acceptable to some, simply because they signed up to be in the spotlight. But our better judgment knows this is not the case.

Nicola Coughlan, who plays the plot pivotal role of Penelope Featherington on the hit Netflix show “Bridgerton,” is no stranger to being inundated with this type of harmful, completely unnecessary feedback from fans.

So much so, that she recently posted her own truly heartfelt plea to her Instagram, asking for people to stop commenting on her body. Though we've seen multiple celebrities justifiably speak out against this, it’s hard not to be moved by her words in a whole new way.

Coughlan began her post with both civility and directness. “Hello! So just a thing- if you have an opinion about my body please, please don’t share it with me.”

This was apparently after receiving messages every single day following her breakout role.

She continued:

“Most people are being nice and not trying to be offensive but I am just one real life human being and it’s really hard to take the weight of thousands of opinions on how you look being sent directly to you every day.”

Her approach reminds us of the very real people we are often damaging through projections of outdated beauty standards and downright unfounded opinions.

Yellowjackets” star Melanie Lynskey had also recently been invaded by an influx of supposedly well-intentioned spectators since the hugely successful Showtime series premiered.


“Most egregious are the ‘I care about her health!!’ people,” Lynskey tweeted. “You don’t see me on my Peleton! You don’t see me running through the park with my child. Skinny does not always equal healthy.”

And of course, she’s not wrong. Despite our general assumptions, being thin is no real indication of a person’s health. And in some cases, it can reveal a risk for certain diseases. Even the formerly gold standard of measuring a healthy weight, the BMI, aka body mass index, is considered flawed today by experts.

Clearly, the only weight needing to be shed is our truly unhealthy relationship with outdated body expectations.

Coughlan knows that being a public figure often invites a public examination. “If you have an opinion about me that’s ok, I understand I’m on TV and that people will have things to think and say,” she wrote, with the caveat, “but I beg you not to send it to me directly.”

Certainly, Coughlan shouldn’t have to resort to begging. But here we are. And maybe this is how the message needs to be heard. When it’s so easy to leave thoughtless or downright toxic messages on social media, we need to be reminded how it affects the hearts of real people on the receiving end. Empathy online is just as important as it is IRL.

That’s what makes her plea a masterclass in grace. She speaks out without anger or accusation, though she could. Instead she comes from a place of compassion.

Coughlan ended her post by saying, “anyways here’s a pic of me in my hotel in NY about to go to SNL, it’s unrelated to this post but delighted with my hair in it.”


Even in a battle for boundaries, Coughlan’s never one to refrain from having a sense of humor (she did also star in the hilarious “Derry Girls”, after all). And, she wasn’t wrong about the hair.

Reading Coughlan’s post, I can’t help but wonder, if she was able to treat perfect strangers with so much respect and kindness, can we not return the favor?


This article originally appeared on 1.31.22

@_gracieling/X

Coughlan laments her struggles as a memmber of the "perfect breast community"


The fight against body-shaming starts with language.

So much of our hidden biases and internalized struggles with body image can be found lurking within the words used to describe ourselves and others—even the well-intentioned ones. It’s one of the reasons why the “body positivity” movement has been reevaluated over the years, since it tends to still place an emphasis on how our body’s physical appearance vs. how it simply helps with daily life.

It’s also why the phrase “you’re so brave” has come under scrutiny. Many celebrities, like Lena Dunham and Lizzo, have called out publications for routinely attributing the word “brave” to larger women who might show their skin. The compliment might come from a sincere place, but since you likely wouldn’t call a thin, able bodied person “brave” for doing the same thing.

Recently during a Q&A in Dublin, “Bridgerton” star Nicola Coughlan (who is no stranger to shielding herself from comments about her body) was met with this not-so-complimentary compliment, and her hilarious response was just so delightful in every way.

In case you’ve been living on a deserted island for the past few years, “Bridgerton” is a steamy show, many of which Coughlan’s character, Penelope Featherington, take part in. So, perhaps when a journalist commended Coughlan for being “brave,” he was noting the sheer level of intimacy involved, and might have said that to any of the cast members. But considering how often that word is specifically used for plus sized women who dare to be seen as sexual beings, it feels fairly safe to assume that wasn’t the case.

Regardless, Coughlan didn’t miss a beat as she quipped:

“You know, it is hard because I think women with my body type—women with perfect breasts—we don’t get to see ourselves onscreen enough.”

As the crowd erupted in laughter, she continued. “And I’m very proud as a member of the perfect breasts community. I hope you enjoy seeing them.”

So unbothered. So witty. So perfect.

Watch a clip of this iconic moment, which has already racked up thousands of views on X (formerly Twitter), along with the overwhelming amount of positive response from viewers, below:

Coughlan has on more than one occasion used her “Bridgerton” fame to shift the way pop culture portrays plus-sized women. In an interview with Stylist, she shared how she “specifically asked for certain lines and moments to be included” in subsequent seasons of the show, particularly one scene where she was “very naked on camera.”

“It just felt like the biggest ‘fuck you’ to all the conversation surrounding my body; it was amazingly empowering,” she told the outlet.

Honestly, it’s no wonder she’s a fan favorite, both on and offscreen.