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A person recently told me I was 'too short.' I finally thought of the perfect response.

"If you're looking for a superstar, start looking down."

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A tall man and a shorter woman.

With every Facebook or Instagram ad, it can often feel like we're constantly being told that a beauty standard exists and none of are living up to it. "Drink THIS to get slimmer, eat THAT to gain muscles." It's exhausting and can truly do a number on self-esteem from an early age.

In Psychology Today's article "Words have Weight: the Many Forms of Body Shaming" author Alice E. Schluger, Ph.D. poses the question, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror and admired your reflection? We are bombarded with images of perfect bodies on TV, in magazines, and all over social media. In our weight-conscious culture, physical appearance often overrides health considerations."

But what if we could simply deny those societally-imposed "standards," and start writing a script where we (gasp) actually love our bodies? The thing is, we totally can.

This was recently put to the test for me in terms of height. "Fun-sized," is what they used to say in college. I'm five foot two and, frankly, I never gave it much thought. Not too long ago, however, I was meeting a friend's 27-year-old daughter for the first time. Upon seeing me, in heels, she exclaimed, "My dad didn't mention you were SO SHORT. You're too short."

I was taken aback. I was stunned. I don't think she meant it nefariously per se. But it felt so strange because I walk around all day in my body without thinking about my inches. For someone to fixate on it and scream it to me? Well, that felt odd.

reese witherspoon, shortness, short celebs, body shaming Reese Witherspoon saying "No." Giphy

Sure, there were "clap-backs" with which I could have replied. From the subreddit r/Comebacks, there are tons of choices, the most scathing of which might be, "I can see all your chins from here." The issue with hitting them where it hurts is you're perpetuating the cycle of shame and, frankly, becoming the very bully who's hurting you to begin with. The old adage "Hurt people hurt people" is so true, and if we recognize it before we do it, we can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

The key is to reframe what being short even means. For many, it's not negative in the slightest. While many memes will tell us how important it is to embrace body positivity, it's nice when it comes from external sources too. The more positive representation for every body type, the better. So what I wish I'd said is, "Yeah. Like Lady Gaga. And Reese Witherspoon and Ariana Grande and Salma Hayek and Scarlett Johansson and Quinta Brunson and Sabrina Carpenter. The list goes on." Or, in going back to the Reddit thread, there were lots of sweet ways to own my inches proudly without lashing back. My favorite—and what I wish I'd said, "So the worst thing about me is that there isn't MORE of me?"

Quinta Brunson hosts SNL and sings about being short. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC

Short men have also been an inspiration on this topic lately. Being short for guys has been challenging in years past. Just recently, a few online dating sites made the news for allowing height to be filtered, resulting in some shorter men getting pushed out of the algorithm. (In an Upworthy story, Evan Porter humorously suggests more sensible filters than height, such as "Can the person spell?")

Tom Cruise, short king, celebrities, mission impossible, short Tom Cruise in a scene from Mission: Impossible Giphy

However, there has been a clear turn in body positivity for shorter men. Articles like "5 Reasons Short Guys Make the Best Husbands" from Your Tango note that shorter men, on average, live longer. And, as mentioned, there's more representation in the media. Notoriously, Tom Cruise showed the world what a short king could do. Couples like Tom Holland, photographed beautifully with his much taller fiancé Zendaya, are giving men the much-deserved confidence boost some really need.

Just a couple of years ago, an opinion piece ran in The New York Times called "There Has Never Been a Better Time to be Short." Among many claims, writer Mara Altman notes, "Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of overpopulation and global warming, they may be best suited for long-term survival.”

Comedian Dan Toomey (@Dhtoomey on TikTok) has some fun with the article as a short king himself:

@dhtoomey

Breaking news, short kings #news #short #nyc #dating

At the end of the day, it's not about being short or tall or thin or fat. It's about challenging beauty norms and embracing our wonderous, unique bodies that house our hearts and lungs and bones. Ya know, those organs that keep us breathing and alive. Oprah Winfrey's advice on the matter is perfection:

"Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others."




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Men's Health

Chiefs star Patrick Mahomes says his 'dad bod' may be the key to his incredible success

This inspired other dudes to jump in with their own epic dad bod tales.

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Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes - Indianapolis Colts Ja… | Flickr

"That Dad Bod, man," Patrick Mahomes reportedly joked after he barreled his way into the end zone in a game against the San Francisco 49ers. According to an article by Rustin Dodd for The Athletic (owned by The New York Times), this is just one of many references to Mahomes's less-than-traditional athletic physique.

In the same article, Rams quarterback Matt Stafford's wife, Kelly, is quoted as having posted on Instagram, "Dad bod is a requirement to be an NFL QB. Show me a shredded QB, and I’ll show you a not very good QB.”

Patrick Mahomes Showtime GIF by Kansas City ChiefsGiphy

Clearly, Patrick and Matt are far from the only NFL superstar athletes without washboard abs—and this really is nothing new. From Peyton Manning to tight end Travis Kelce, the list is endless. Caleb Jones, an offensive tackle for the Patriots, weighs in at 370 pounds. Aaron Gibson, who once played OT for the Lions, Cowboys, Bears (oh my!) at one point weighed 410 pounds. (He's now retired and lost over 100 pounds to get healthier.)

But that's just football, where one could argue that a little more padding provides protection. Just recently, NBA player Luka Dončić got traded to the Lakers, despite his openly "unhealthy" lifestyle and being considered "overweight" by professional standards. Would he be a better player if he lost weight and stopped smoking? Not necessarily. Basketball stars through the years have often notoriously had "everyman" bodies and yet displayed amazing athleticism. And don't even get me started on baseball players.

Season 3 Baseball GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

But some doctors warn that the dad bod (which is often used to describe men with a little extra weight in their midsections) can actually be a sign of poor health. Beer belly or just middle age, Dr. David Brill, in an article posted for the Cleveland Clinic, shares that a dad bod "left unchecked can lead to the three horsemen of the apocalypse: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood sugar."

Ours de la fête des pères avec de la biè Photo stock libre ...www.publicdomainpictures.net

In any case, this growing (pun intended) trend of a little extra teddy-bear fat in our jocks is inspiring all kinds of dudes on TikTok. Like Chill Guy 1, who posed sadly for the camera writing, "Strangers on the internet have commented on my weight gain." Only to cut to a guttural scream, while shirtless. There he proudly states, "F the haters! Love yourself always."


@chillary_chilton

Never let someone elses opinion determine how you feel about your body #fitness #wegojim #gym #dadbod #bodypositivity #selflove

And Supdaily, who exclaims, "I love food" while patting his round stomach.


@supdaily

Dad bod check #suchascientist #gummygame #foryoupage #fyp #dadbod #dadbodchallenge #dadbodcheck

Don't forget Logan Pete, who uses his dad bod as merely the vessel to share this inspiring message: "Oh hey, just some dad advice for anyone who needs it. You are a good person. You're trying your hardest. Your brain is just a jerk that plays tricks on you and tells you things that aren't true. And you probably deserve a cookie."

@logan_pete_

You got this kiddo! #dad #dadsoftiktok #dadbod #dadjokes #daddy

Dad bod squads are all the rage, and it doesn't seem to matter if you're just a person on TikTok or Taylor Swift's boyfriend's bestie. Dr. Brill added, “A chiseled body doesn’t have to be the goal. But there’s a sweet spot to be found. You don’t have to be ripped to be healthy."

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Pop Culture

'God, what if I was 15?': Julia Roberts responds to being shamed in a photo with her niece

It opened her eyes to the toxicity of social media.

via U.S. Department of State/Wikimedia Commons and Dominick D/Wikimedia Commons

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story.

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.



“And the number of people who felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture—that I’m not aging well, that I look like a man, why would she even post a picture like this when I look that terrible!” she continued. “And I was amazed at how that made me feel. I’m a 50-year-old woman and I know who I am, and still my feelings got hurt. I was sad that people couldn’t see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. I thought, ‘What if I was 15?’”

Beauty influencer Samantha Marika combined the audio of Julia telling the story, added it to the candid photo of her and Emma, and posted it to Instagram, and it went viral.

Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.”

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Marika’s video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her young niece.

“Before I listened to the whole thing I thought to myself how wholesome this photo was that the two of them are playing cards and look so happy! People are really sad and depressed that they wanna judge on how someone should look it’s the saddest thing about humans. We can’t even see joy anymore,” ChantsBoomBoom wrote in the comments.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”


This article originally appeared last year.

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Kate Winslet's tearful story of calling out the press over body-shaming is a must-watch

"I hope this haunts you."

@60minutes/TikTok

"I hope this huants you."

Over the years, Kate Winslet has solidified herself not only as an actress, but as an outspoken advocate for women. She’s been particularly outspoken about the horrendous messages women receive (starting at a very early age) on subjects relating to body image, and how to combat against them.

Often, Winslet has a plethora of real life experiences to draw from for…inspiration. She’s previously been candid about the body-shaming she received after making her Oscar winning acting debut in Titanic. Imagine hitting a career milestone like that and still being made to feel worthless (certainly not an unrelatable feeling for many women).

Still, Winslet offered a fresh glimpse into this time in her life during a recent interview for 60 Minutes. In it, she was shown an old red carpet clip from E!, where an on-air host said Winslet looked “a little melted and poured into” the dress she was wearing, and that she “needed two sizes larger and she’d be OK.”

Even the interviewer—as well as all of us now—could note how blatantly "cruel" this offhanded comment was. Winslet herself said "what kind of person must they be to do something like that to a young actress who’s just trying to figure it out.”

Then Winslet recalled that she “did get face to face” with the press.

“I let them have it. I said, ‘I hope this haunts you.’”


@60minutes

Kate Winslet: “I hope this haunts you” #60minutes #katewinslet #media #harrassmentawareness


Getting visibly emotional, she called the confrontation a “It was a great moment,” because it wasn’t just for her, but for “all those people who were subjected to that level of harassment.”

If Kate Winslet—a confident, smart, objectively successful woman—still gets hurt from these comments years later…imagine how damaging they must be for everyone else.

And it’s not like Winslet is now free of weird and harmful criticisms. While starring as famed World War II-era photojournalist Lee Miller in the biopic Lee, the star had to "armor" herself up for being called “brave” for wearing no makeup, and being told to "suck in and sit up" to avoid showing "lumps” by a crew member.

Though it hurts, Winslet continues to define beauty on her own terms. The happiness that comes from family, taking care of yourself, living in integrity, and yes, even wrinkles, are all markers of true beauty in her eyes. What’s more, she had come to discover that “beauty is really a feeling, I don't think it's a thing that we look at." This epiphany is how we all break the spell that society puts us under.

In some ways, we are thankfully dismantling these damaging messages. But no parent of a teenage girl with full access to social media would tell you we are free from its shackles by a long shot. So until we are, it’s important to keep letting folks “have it.”

You can watch Winslet’s full 60 Minutes interview here.

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