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This Family Is Interracial, Gay, And Adopted. They're Also 100% American. Deal With It.

The least normal thing about this family is that there's a political party out there that wants to take that title away from them. So tell me again, Mitt Romney ... how exactly are these people destroying American values?


@organizedchaos4/TikTok

"It costs you nothing, and it creates this ripple effect of kindness."

The corner of the internet devoted to grime and muck being scrubbed away to oh-so satisfying perfection, otherwise known as #CleanTok, is mostly wholesome, cathartic fun. But every once in a while, controversy comes in.

For a mom named Audrey (who clearly has a passion for cleaning hacks, given her TikTok handle of @organizedchaos4), that moment came after she filmed herself doing a deep clean on her 12-year-old daughter’s room. Several people chimed in to accuse her of spoiling her kid, essentially.

Granted, Audrey admitted that she had posted the video “hoping that the trolls would get those thumbs a-movin’.” So when they did indeed come after her, she was ready.


“I surprised my daughter by cleaning her room for her. She's been getting herself up for 6 a.m. practices, she gets herself to school, she's out of the house before the rest of us have even woken up,” Audrey says in the clip.

“Keep in mind she's 12. In return for all that she's been doing, I thought it would be a nice treat if I just did a quick speed clean of her room. It was no big deal.”

Audrey goes on to say that the point of her follow-up video was to reiterate the importance of “extending grace.”


@organizedchaos4 When we throw empathy out the window, we throw grace out the window. If you saw the video and your first reaction was to say, “why isn’t she doing it herself?” Ask yourself, “have I EVER left a room messy because I was overwhelmed, tired, busy?” If so, then you are in no position to judge a child for the same thing. #grace #kindness #help #parenting #cleaning #kids #mom ♬ original sound - Organized Chaos | Audrey


That's what I did for my daughter. She had fallen behind on her room and I helped her.,” she says. “It costs you nothing, and it creates this ripple effect of kindness. We all have setbacks, we all have failures, we all make mistakes and if you say you don't you're lying. By extending grace we are spreading kindness, we are spreading compassion. If you can't extend grace to your own children then there's no way you're going to extend it to anyone else in the world and that's a scary world to live in.”

Audrey then argues that being kind to others often makes it “easier” to be kind to ourselves, which is “vital for our mental health.”

She then concludes, “so if you watched the video yesterday or you're watching this one today and you're thinking negative thoughts, ask yourself, ‘Am I quick to judge, be resentful, be negative or am I quick to extend grace or ask yourself have I ever stumbled and wish grace had been extended to me?’”

Down in the comments, we see that Audreynis certainly not alone in her thinking.

“Kindness costs nothing and provides everything,” one person wrote.

“This will only inspire your daughter to keep working hard and give back when she has a chance to, and know she can rely on you when she struggles,” added another.

Several other moms even chimed in about doing something similar for their kids.

“Exactly I did the same thing for my 23-year-old daughter who works full-time and is a full-time college student. She’s 100% independent. I just want to take some off stress off her plate,” one mom shared

Another said, “I do this for my daughter still, and it's her house.”

As with all things in parenting, balance is key. Of course we don’t want to instill laziness, but at the same time, kids can’t be expected to overachieve in all areas, at all times. Adults can’t even manage this without a little help. Sounds like this is truly a case of a good kid acting as responsibly as humanly possible, and a mom just wanting to help out where she can, all why'll teaching her the world can be a safe place. Hard to see anything wrong with that.

Texas Judge's unexpected response to man arrested for marijuana possession

Many courtrooms nowadays have cameras inside of them. You can watch court proceedings on channels like "Court TV" and "Law & Crime" or live stream it on social media apps whether you know the people involved in the case or not. Most of the time people don't pay much attention to televised court proceedings unless it involves a celebrity like the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial or the Young Thug trial happening in Georgia.

But there's a niche for court proceedings or else shows like Judge Judy and Divorce Court wouldn't exist. People tend to gravitate to the drama of it all. Watching someone get chewed out by a judge when it's clear the person was in the wrong can be satisfying but it's also faith restoring when you see a judge use their powers to protect someone being treated unfairly.

Texas Judge David Fleischer has gone viral multiple times for his passion and ability to quickly recognize when someone brought before his court is being treated unfairly.


In a recent case that was recorded and uploaded to social media, Judge Fleischer has a young Black man, Darius Blake in his court room that was charged with possession of marijuana. Blake was stopped by the police for jay walking where they allegedly could smell the presence of marijuana odor.

Red Eyes Smoking GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

The officers use this smell as a reason to physically search Blake, resulting in them allegedly finding an illegal amount of marijuana on him. The arresting officers likely thought they had a pretty clear case to get the man sentenced but Judge Fleischer did not see things their way.

"Wait, wait. He did what," the judge says before someone off screen explains that the man "crossed an unauthorized walking point."

The judge responds, "was he jaywalking?" After the person confirms Judge Fleischer shakes his head saying, "walking while Black." As the person off screen continues reading the reason for the charges, the judge interrupts him, "I don't think so. Walking while Black. I don't think so. I'm gonna find no probable cause."

@lulusrescue This judge is so fair and always no bs. I love how he cares for those who are infeint lf him #judge#law#nobs #enforcement #fyp#viral#money#ect ♬ original sound - lulusrescue

He then focuses his attention to the defendant to provide some advice, "Mr. Blake, be careful man. You know the world is against you. Don't let 'em be. Do something with your life."

In another video that went viral, 19-year-old Zion Abiola was in front of Judge Fleischer for evading arrest and unlawful carrying of a weapon after officers found him and a friend walking out of a park. According to the officers they allegedly observed him touching near his waistband and decided to conduct a search which resulted in the teen running. It was while running that the officers say a gun fell from his waistband.

Arresting Under Arrest GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

Once again the judge was unimpressed by the police officers probable cause for search, "here's the rub, what's he doing? Walking while Black? What's he doing? What's he doing wrong? Was he under arrest? I mean, all I see is that they go up to him and they just start searching, right? Walking while Black."

Statistically Black people are five times more likely to report being unjustly stopped by the police than white people and are four times more likely to be admitted to jail with a slightly longer sentence. According to the University of Michigan, Black Americans are seven times more likely to be wrongly convicted than white Americans and make up 53% of exonerations. So Judge Fleischer isn't showing favor to the Black defendants in his courtroom, instead he seems to be course correcting the overzealousness of the arresting officers in those cases.

Season 1 Episode 6 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy

While it may make people feel all fuzzy to see the judge digging deeper before hearing cases to catch racial disparities, he's gotten stern calling out defendants poor behavior that landed them in his courtroom. When a man came before him for a theft charge, Judge Fleischer had a different approach.

"You know you're smiling like you're having like having a good time, little bunnies jumping in the woods. This is not a happy moment for you Mr. Garcia, you know, because you have a lot to lose. Have you been to the pen before," the judge asks before continuing. "Which means they can continually enhance you, perhaps to even a five to life if you steal a pack of freaking gum. Your attitude tells me a lot. Tells me how much you think of this but you know it's all fun and games until someone gets a 15 year sentence and that's the problem."

Though Judge Fleischer's tone was different, he accepted the plea offered sentencing him to time served but not before reminding him again about the consequences if he is arrested in the future. Very rarely do Americans get to hear about judges taking the whole person, their circumstances and systemic issues into consideration while presiding over cases so seeing Judge Fleischer seemingly provide fair treatment to defendants resonates with people. Maybe in the future this will be the standard occurrence and not an anomaly.

A family fights over a baby name.

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid. Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without.

According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.

A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord and had her family's full, passionate support, but her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. The woman was looking for validation and posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.


“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important. The firstborn son since the 1800's has been given this name. I'm well aware it's a stigmatized name today, so that's why I have agreed to using a short form,” the woman wrote.

Understanding that her son would be bullied for being called Gaylord, she decided that it would be his legal first name, but could go by Gail. Her family believed that it was acceptable for him to be known as Gail initially, but as society grows more tolerant, will be called Gaylord when he gets older.

“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she continued. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”

The father wouldn’t even consider naming his son Gaylord, or Gail, for that matter. His family went a step further and said that naming him Gaylord or Gail would be “abusive.”

"My in-laws are telling me that even Gail isn't an acceptable boy's name and that I need to 'get with the times' and choose something more appropriate," she continued. “What happened to respecting our elders and traditions? His family doesn't have any naming traditions, so it should fall to my family that does. How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?”

The commenters were overwhelmingly against the mother’s decision.

"Use your imagination. A boy named Gaylord goes to his first day of school. The teacher does the roll call. ‘GAYLORD SMITH?’ Class breaks into giggles. Embarrassed boy says, ‘It's Gail.’ Class giggles some more, since Gail is usually a girl's name. Boy has no chance of fitting in with his classmates. His fate is sealed. He is a social pariah for life. Don't do this to him. Please,” one user wrote.

"Your name is the first thing people know about you. It’s the cover page of how people perceive you. Even if you think Gaylord will just appear on the birth certificate, you’re wrong. His legal name will have to be used on official documents, at school, on his license and passport. It will appear at the top of every resume he hands out. It’s not as simple as putting a name on paper. It’s how he is going to appear to the whole world. Gaylord is totally stigmatized and has been for decades. It’s not going away, sorry." Elinbeth added.

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time. Pick another name," CashieBashie wrote.

After the post went viral, the mother shared that both sides of the family have tentatively agreed on a name.

“We managed to work out that Gale Gaylord would be a reasonable compromise, with Gale being the complete first name, and Gaylord being the middle name,” the woman wrote. “My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants. Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here.”


This article originally appeared on 2.14.24

Joy

What matters more, looks or money? Here's how men and women really judge dating profiles.

There’s a big difference in how men and women evaluate online dating profiles.

A man and woman look at online dating profiles.

If you are confused by the world of online dating, a new study gives a fascinating look into how heterosexual men and women evaluate profiles. Unfortunately, the results won’t give you hope that people on online dating apps aren’t superficial, but they show a significant difference in how men and women evaluate profiles.

Knowing how people look at you can be very helpful when writing your profile and choosing which photos to use.

The study, published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, used the latest eye-tracking technology to see what men and women focus on when looking at online dating profiles. The researchers took 20 men and women and recorded their movements with an eye-tracking camera while they viewed online dating profiles.


How do men look at online dating profiles?

Unsurprisingly, the study found that men primarily focus on a woman’s facial attractiveness and spend little time considering her occupation or income level. However, if a woman was unattractive, a man focused on her looks if she had a prestigious job or high earning potential.

“We were surprised to see that men increased their visual attention to nominally unattractive women when their (the women’s) jobs were high-status and high-paying,” Amy Lykins, a lead author of the study and an associate professor in clinical psychology at the University of New England in Maine, told PsyPost. “Normally, uninteresting information (i.e., unattractive faces in this case) wouldn’t attract much attention, but they did appear to attract more attention when the woman also had a good, high-paying job.”

online dating, men and women dating, online datingA couple on a date. via Canva

How do women look at online dating profiles?

The women in the study were much more complex than the men regarding how they looked at dating profiles. Women focused more on a man’s attractiveness after considering his income level and occupation. If a man’s profile showed that he has a lower income or a less prestigious job title, women would focus on his looks a bit longer. “Regardless of how attractive the man was (high or low), women spent more time looking at men’s faces when resources were low than high,” said Amy Lykins

Although the researchers were careful not to draw any conclusions from the results of the study, it appears that women are more generous to men with lower earning potential when they are attractive. The attitude is, “Okay, you don’t have much money, but you’re cute, so maybe we’re a match. Meanwhile, men were more generous towards women who weren't that attractive but had higher-paying jobs. The typical male attitude is, “You’re not as cute as I’d like, but you have a good job, so I guess that’ll work."

online dating, men and women dating, online datingA couple on a date. via Canva

Regarding attractiveness, the study found that both men and women paid a lot more attention to the faces of online daters than their bodies. Eighty-three percent of their time was focused on faces, regardless of whether other body parts were shown.

“We expected this,” Lykins told The Huffington Post. “I’ve found this in other eye-tracking studies I’ve conducted, even where people were barely clothed and/or even nude. People are extremely interested in faces ― even as newborns ― and that’s true for both men and women.”

The study also proved another stereotype about online dating: men are more interested in short-term relationships and women are looking for something more long-term.

The researchers found that the significant difference between how men and women look at online dating profiles is noticeable within a short period. “Within the first 10 seconds of viewing an online profile of a potential relationship partner, we can see differences in the prioritization of different types of information,” Lykins explained.

Depending on how rich or attractive you feel, the findings may be disheartening or make you want to sign up for an online dating app. Regardless, it’s good to know what the opposite sex looks for when you put yourself out there. “The findings have real-world implications for how people may want to create online dating profiles using apps such as Tinder,” Lykins told PsyPost.

Millennial sends warning to Gen Z after viral video criticizing Gen X

There's something to be said about the sibling dynamic that's developed between Millennials and Gen Z. But before that bond existed, many Millennials grew up with Gen X siblings, learning early on not to disturb the sleeping bear. Gen X is often referred to as the forgotten generation and after all this time, they like it that way so Millennials keep their heads down and walk quickly where Gen X is concerned.

Unfortunately, some folks in the younger generation didn't get that reply all email. A brave...or naive Gen Zer decided to take to Taylor Swift's internet to decree and declare that Gen X is "the worst generation" seemingly unprompted. Young Padawan, Gen X minds their business grumbling through life unless someone summons them. We don't summon them.

Laura High gave a succinct cliff's notes version of why it's best to not speak negative thoughts on Gen X aloud. The self described Millennial is quick to start out the video with praise, "I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X" before bringing the camera close enough to whisper.


"Ok here's the thing, you do not seem to understand who Gen X is okay. Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF, okay. They do not Karen out. They get quiet and they get revenge," High whispers.

The Millennial shares the secret kept close to the chest of the generation above Gen Z, "we do not summon the latchkey kids unless it's our literal only last resort." She advises the unknowing Gen Zer to go to the edge of the woods to leave offerings to appease the Gen Xers that will likely be offended by the video. Commenters agreed that this little sibling overstepped and needs to quietly and quickly tiptoe back into place before Gen X notices.



"There is a reason millennials leave GenX alone, and they learned it the hard way. My fellow Gen Z’s will learn soon… very soon," one commenter says.

"Elder Gen Z raised by two Gen X parents. I do NOT back the younger half of Gen Z on this. I’m running into the woods on their behalf and leaving Ferris Bueller for my dad and a DQ blizzard for my mom," another writes.

"Last thing she will hear from the woods, Red Rover Red Rover, we call Karen Hashtag over," someone laughs.

If you've never played Red Rover with Gen Xers, just know you were lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders after the game was over. There were no tears allowed and no telling your parents, they were gone anyway. But it seems Gen Xers who watched the video are willing to accept the peace offerings.

"I will accept king dongs (in original foil) and a VHS of “the last star fighter” I will also except a mix tape if it include at mix of metal, new wave, and Yaz," someone suggests.

"We will also accept any of the original Star Wars trilogy, Star Trek 2, Raiders, or Die Hard…though John Hughes films will likely will be the safest choice," one Gen Xer writes.

Tread lightly Gen Z. Tread very lightly. If you hear someone clinking together empty glass Coke bottles outside your door, do not come out and play. It's a trap.


This article originally appeared on 7.16.24