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life lessons

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A woman got asked out by the guy who bullied her as a kid, so she stood him up with this awesome note.

She waited 10 years to enact the perfect revenge.

via Louisa Manning/Facebook

The note she wrote to the guy who bullied her as a kid.

As a kid, Louisa Manning was bullied about her weight and body hair by students in her class. Her classmates thought it was clever to call her "manbeast," a play on her last name.

Those words made an impression on 12-year-old Louisa, who developed an eating disorder and struggled to maintain her self-confidence over the next few years.

Now 22 and a student at Oxford University in England, Louisa was surprised when she ran into one of the boys who bullied her at school and he asked her on a date.

life lessons, attractiveness, stood up date

Louisa dressed to impress.

via Louisa Manning/Facebook.

She was also kind of "pissed off." Louisa told BuzzFeed News, "It really made me angry that now I'm attractive, he instantly wants to jump into bed with me." Louisa remembered this boy as being one of the worst offenders back when they were kids.

She thought about turning him down, but then she realized it would be a lot more fun to teach him a lesson. They made plans to meet for dinner, but when the dude showed up at the restaurant, he got this note instead.

dating, monobrow, body hair, facial hair

The picture and the letter.

via Louisa Manning/Facebook

The message on the photo (of herself at aged 12) said:

Hey [name obscured],

So sorry I can't join you tonight.

Remember year 8, when I was fat and you made fun of my weight? No? I do – I spent the following three years eating less than an apple a day. So I decided to skip dinner.

Remember the monobrow you mocked? The hairy legs you were disgusted by? Remember how every day for three years, you and your friends called me Manbeast? No perhaps you don't – or you wouldn't have seen how I look eight years later and deemed me fuckable enough to treat me like a human being.

I thought I'd send you this as a reminder. Next time you think of me, picture that girl in this photo, because she's the one who just stood you up.

Louisa.

Louisa has been too nice to release the guy's name to her many online supporters, who might take out their aggression on him. She writes on Facebook that she doesn't condone violence, just "holding ten year long grudges and then getting sweet, perfectly timed revenge."

Her revenge had one very sweet result:

The apology ten years later.

via Louisa Manning/Facebook

This article originally appeared on 12.5.14

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women

Family

Mom defends tough-love letter to 13-year-old son after getting shamed online

She wants a son, not a roommate.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

Tough love.

Heidi Johnson's son was 13, deeply in adolescence, and in that stage where he lashes out.

He told her he shouldn't have to deal with her rules and should be independent.

So she wrote a strict but loving "Mom's not a fool" letter.

Love, Mom.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

She wrote on Facebook how her son reacted to the letter:

"He came home, saw the note, crumpled it on the floor, and stormed out of the apartment. I have always encouraged him to take a walk when he is upset so that he can collect his thoughts so when we try to talk, we are able to talk, and not just yell at each other. I do the same thing — sometimes, I just need to walk away and collect myself. I am not above admitting that. He was still livid when he got home. He decided to stage a 'sit in' in my room, where he did laugh at me and repeat, 'Really? What are you going to do? You can't take my stuff,' etc. He was asked to leave my room, and when he could be respectful, and I was more calm, we would discuss it further. He went to his room, and after about an hour, he had removed some electronics and items I missed that he felt he should have to earn back for his behavior. He apologized, and asked what could he do to make things better and start earning items back. He earned his comforter and some clothes right back. I did leave him some clothes to begin with, just not the ones he would want to wear every day. He also had some pillows and sheets, just not his favorite ones.”

She decided to post it on Facebook, the way one does to friends for a laugh and connection. She neglected to make it "private," and soon comments and shares proliferated, including admonishments from strangers who thought she was a bad parent.Now she had to deal with a bigger teenager: the internet and its commentariat. But Johnson remained level-headed and wrote another Facebook post, clarifying.

"It's out there; and I am not ashamed of what I wrote... I am not going to put my 13-year-old on the street if he can't pay his half of the rent. I am not wanting him to pay anything. I want him to take pride in his home, his space, and appreciate the gifts and blessings we have.” She explains that he is more grateful because of it, and also that he has slowly earned back things and dealt with sacrificing others. Then she lists her very organized and succinct rules of the house:

1 – Do your best in school! I don't expect a perfect 100%, but I do expect that you do your best and ask for help when you don't understand something.

2 – Homework and jobs need to be done before you can have screen time.

3 – Jobs are emptying the trash, unloading the dishwasher, throwing away trash you make in the kitchen, rinsing dirty dishes, making your bed daily, pick up bedroom nightly, and cleaning your bathroom once a week.

4 – You must complete two chores a day. Each day of the week with the exception of Sunday has a room that we work on cleaning. He has to pick two chores for that room. For example, if it is the living room he can choose two of the following options: dust, vacuum, polish furniture, clean windows, mop the floor.

5 – Be respectful and kind with your words — no back talking, no cussing at me.

6 – Keep good hygiene.

7 – Make eye contact when being spoken to, and be an active listener.

8 – Use proper manners.

"You know what.. this hasn't hurt our relationship. He and I still talk as openly as ever. He has apologized multiple times... And… he is trying harder." Her son is earning things back little by little, and appreciating it more than he did before.

"This came down to a 13-year-old telling his mother she had no right to enforce certain rules, and had no place to 'control' him. I made the point to show what life would look like if I was not his 'parent,' but rather a 'roommate.' It was a lesson about gratitude and respect from the very beginning. Sometimes, you have to lose it all to realize how well you really had it."

This article originally appeared on 8.16.21

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Joy

Roger Federer shared 3 life lessons he learned from tennis in Dartmouth graduation speech

"'Effortless' is a myth."

Photo Credit: Times Of India/Wikimedia Commons

Roger Federer "graduated" from tennis in 2022.

Roger Federer will go down in history as one of the greatest tennis players of all time, but his popularity extends far beyond the tennis court. With a reputation as a kind and classy sportsman, a generous philanthropist and and all around "good guy," Federer has gained fans of all ages, even outside of his sport, making him an ideal commencement speaker for one of America's top universities.

Dartmouth' College's class of 2024 got to listen to the tennis great share the three biggest lessons he learned from the sport at their commencement ceremony, and people have been sharing snippets from it on social media.

Federer told the graduates that he left school at 16 to play tennis and "graduated" from tennis in 2022. He said he wanted to share with the students three "tennis lessons" he learned during his career that has helped him transition to life after it, in the hopes that they might help them transition to life out in the world as well.

Lesson 1: Nothing is 'effortless'

"'Effortless' is a myth," he began. "I mean it. I say that as someone who has heard that word a lot. The truth is, I had to work very hard to make it look easy. I spent years whining, swearing (sorry), throwing my racket before I learned to keep my cool."

He shared a story of how an opponent early in his career helped him understand that anyone can excel in the early part of the game, but it takes significant, sustained effort to reach a level where you can play well throughout an entire tournament.

"I didn’t get where I got on pure talent alone," he said. "I got there by trying to outwork my opponents. I believed in myself. But belief in yourself has to be earned…From this day forward, some people are going to assume that because you graduated from Dartmouth, it all comes easy for you. And you know what? Let them believe that, as long as you don’t."

Lesson 2: "It's only a point."

"Let me explain. You can work harder than you thought possible and still lose," he said. "I have."

Federer explained that he always tried not to lose, of course, but sometimes he did. Everyone does, even those at the very top.

He told a story about how he had started to doubt himself after an opponent scored a point against him early in a match, and he had to learn not to let a single lost point get under his skin. Then he used statistics to illustrate his point.

"In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches," he said. "Now, I have a question for all of you. What percentage of the points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%. In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play. When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot."

"Here’s why I am telling you this," he continued. "When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world, and it is. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you. This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point and the next point after that with intensity, clarity and focus."

He shared that whatever games the students play in life, sometimes they're going to lose, and to him, the sign of a champion is learning to master hard moments.

"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point," he said. "It’s because they know they’ll lose, again and again, and have learned how to deal with it."

Lesson 3: Life is bigger than the court.

"Even when I was just starting out, I knew that tennis could show me the world... but tennis could never be the world," he said. "I knew that if I was lucky, maybe I could play competitively until my late 30s—maybe even 41! But even when I was in the top five, it was important to me to have a life, a rewarding life full of travel, culture, friendships, and especially family. I never abandoned my roots, and I never forgot where I came from, but I also never lost my appetite to see this very big world."

Federer shared what it has been like for him to serve the children of South Africa, his mother's homeland, through his foundation that focuses on the education of children across Southern Africa.

"It’s been an honor... and it’s been humbling," he said. "An honor to help tackle this challenge, and humbling to see how complex it is."

He shared that he was only 22 when he started his philanthropy work.

"I was not ready for anything other than tennis. But sometimes you’ve got to take a chance and then figure it out," he said. "Philanthropy can mean a lot of things. It can mean starting a nonprofit, or donating money. But it can also mean contributing your ideas, your time and your energy to a mission that is larger than yourself. All of you have so much to give, and I hope you will find your own, unique ways to make a difference, because life really is much bigger than the court."

Wise words from a wise man. You can find the full transcript of Federer's speech here.

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Joy

New Yorkers share their biggest regrets on a blackboard

They were alarmingly similar.

Image from YouTube video.

What is your biggest regret?

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."

—Henry David Thoreau

No one escapes this world without a regret or two.

Time and time again, when we hear the final regrets of the dying, they're not about wishing they'd made money or worked more hours.

They're almost always about wishing they had the self-confidence to pursue their dreams or the time to stay in touch with loved ones.

community, culture, honesty, collaboration, art

Here are some thoughts on the subject.

Image from YouTube video.

Recently, A Plus in partnership with Strayer University's Ideal Year Initiative, put up a chalkboard on a New York City street and asked passersby to write down their biggest regrets. The people who wrote on the blackboard were from different walks of life, but their regrets were alarmingly similar.

Watch the full video below:

This article first appeared on 9.16.17

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culture

Identity

Man asks older folks for their biggest regrets and advice to their younger selves

This wisdom could save a lot of younger folks from chasing the wrong things.

Photo by Ravi Patel on Unsplash

With age, comes wisdom (usually).

Have you ever sat and talked with an older person about their life and what they've learned in their decades of living? Talking with older people can give us a lot of wisdom and perspective that we otherwise couldn't get, which is why TikTok creator Yair Brachiyahu interviews people who are in their later years and asks them specific questions about their life experience.

Some of those questions include "What do you regret most in your life?" "What did you think was important when you were younger that you've realized isn't as important as you thought?" and "What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?"

These are good questions to ponder at any age, but older folks' responses have a bit more weight to them. There's a certain amount of wisdom that comes with experience and having lived through various stages of life. And when you put lots of those responses together, certain themes emerge that might be valuable for younger people to take to heart.

Here's an interview Yair did with a 95-year-old woman that was particularly inspiring:

@yairbrachiyahu
95 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Regret #lifelessons #lifeadvice #interview #longervideos

Staying positive and upbeat is a common theme among centenarians who are asked how they've lived so long, so she may be onto something.

This 79-year-old's response was similar, and she also hit on the most common thing people say they thought was important when they were young but realized isn't actually.

@yairbrachiyahu
79 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Loss… #lifelessons #interview #lifeadvice #longervideos

So many older people say that they thought money and material possessions were important when they were young but have realized in their later years that as long as you have enough money to live, having more money and more things doesn't make you any happier.

@yairbrachiyahu
46 Years Married Couple Share What’s Really Important In Life… #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Of course, as some have pointed out, it's a lot easier to learn the lesson that money isn't important once you've had more than enough money. And if you don't have enough money to live comfortably, even if modestly, hearing that money isn't important can feel a bit off-putting.

But that doesn't change the fact that material wealth isn't the holy grail many people think it is. It's entirely possible to be rich and unhappy and entirely possible to be happy without a lot of money.

Listen to what this 78-year-old would go back and tell his younger self:

@yairbrachiyahu
78 Year Old Shares What’s REALLY Important In Life #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Over and over, the same lessons are shared by people who have been around the block a few times. Money isn't as important as you think it is beyond basic living expenses. Relationships with family, friends and loved ones are where true wealth lies. Health is vital and taking care of your body matters. Stay positive and live life with gratitude and appreciation.

Yair has interviewed dozens of people, mostly between ages 60 to 100, and their answers are all uniquely fascinating. You can watch more of these conversations on his TikTok channel.

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Family

Mantras to help get you through life, created by 6-year-olds

When students become the teachers.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Kids share their wisdom and we can all relate.

Kids might say the darnedest things, but occasionally they also give sage advice.

A teacher in the United Kingdom by the name of George Pointon has made a name for himself by tweeting his 6-year-old students’ comical, candid and sometimes profound answers to weekly questions.

Or, as he humorously writes in his Twitter bio, “exploiting children’s imagination for likes.”

One of my favorite threads so far is when Pointon asked his students to create a “mantra to help us through life.” The teacher posted each student's response, along with some commentary.

It’s all some noteworthy food for thought, if not harmless, wholesome entertainment.

Best of all, the genuine affection Pointon has for his students is undeniable.

Rory: "Don't stop running"

Pointon: “The other day I grunted when picking up my keys from the table. If I didn't stop running, I'd die. Rory has gone for the Forrest Gump approach here. It seemed to work for him. Forrest that is. I've seen Rory run into multiple trees. Persistent tho.”

Rory might be running into trees, but some spot-on perspectives on life as well.

Run Running GIFGiphy

Friends Hug GIF by MOODMANGiphy

JJ: "Only be friends with people who you want to be friends with"

Pointon: “This gets forgotten about in adults. Sometimes we are friends with people out of convenience or history. Look around and ask yourself, "does this person positively impact my life?". JJ has his head screwed on.”

JJ understands the value of authentic friendship. And, as Pointon reflected, setting boundaries and letting go is something so many adults struggle with, though there are countless sources noting its importance.

Mike D Reaction GIF by Beastie BoysGiphy

Jack: "You might [get] told off but sometimes you're not doing anything wrong"

Pointon: “His anti-authority attitude is refreshing as it is scary. He's right tho. Fight for what you believe in and it's never wrong. Although Jack believes he can back flip over a lorry, so I don't know.”

What’s a lorry, you may ask? Turns out it’s a British term for an 18-wheeler. I didn’t know either.

Best Friends Hug GIFGiphy

Ravi: "Some people don't have anything so be happy you have everything"

Pointon: “We truly are in the presence of greatness. There are world leaders without this clarity. Step back and look at what we take for granted, you'll be amazed. Ravi elevates people around him. He's a special lad.”

I believe this was a major theme that “Don’t Look Up” was trying to convey. Well done, Ravi.

cat water GIFGiphy

Lola: "You can't swim in a sink but a bath is just a big sink"

Pointon: “I believe she's talking about perspective. One person's baby step is another's giant leap. Lola moves at her pace and is proud of the people around her moving at theirs. Otherwise you'll lose a one horse race.”

I’m gonna assume Lola is also a proponent of the “just keep swimming” mentality.

so much to say julia michaels GIF by Noah KahanGiphy

Emma: "The people who don't talk, still have something to say"

Pointon: “Empty vessels makes the most noise. Emma is quiet and has grown in confidence since I've known her. She is an advocate for letting people be themselves. A true woman of her time. She'll make an excellent leader.”

Hear, hear for quiet confidence, Emma.

Pbs Nature Flowers GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy

Belle: "Flowers live in the ground, we live in a house. Everyone lives somewhere."

Pointon: “It's a huge, overwhelming concept to think every individual lives an equally complex and rich life as you. Knowing that everyone is coming from something make[s] you see we're all the same. One team.”

A lesson in empathy, taught by Belle.

song children GIF by Lily's Lovely SongsGiphy

Mikey: "Mud hills are fun but also muddy"

Pointon: “I'd never heard of the term "mud hill" but I assumed it's a hill, that is muddy. I was wrong. It’s basically a pile of mud mashed up and used to throw at cars or people...So if you see a boy holding a mud ball with a devilish grin, run.”

No such thing as good, clean fun, according to Mikey.

Cat Food Wow GIF by Morris the 9Lives CatGiphy

Zahra: "Some things are cool and some things aren't"

Pointon: “There is no messing about with Zahra. A woman of precision. She wanted to add that if you find things cool, then it is. Which in itself is a pretty cool thing to say. If you enjoy something, don't let other[s] bring you down.”

Zahra is clearly the Queen of Cool.

Think Only You GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy

Susanna: "Don't start a fire in a forrest"

Pointon: “I take this as, understanding your situation and objectively being able to know what is benefitting you and what isn't. But Susanna confirmed that there is no subtext. Just don't start fires in forrests because it goes whoosh, okay.”

I also love how Pointon was loyal to Susanna’s spelling of the word “forrest.” That dedication right there.

According to indy100, Pointon protects the identity of his young pupils by using made-up aliases. But reassured, the answers provided are all too real.

Pointon told indy100, “School can sometimes make you think quite linear, like there are only right or wrong answers but, especially with them being so young, their thoughts are actually really abstract.”

Passion, purpose, and a dash of social media stardom have allowed Pointon to help raise awareness around children’s issues. Last November he worked with the Anti-Bullying Alliance, asking the question “what makes you unique?”

For Zahra, it was her two different eye colors. For Susanna, it was the fact that she could fit 100 grapes in her mouth (Pointon isn’t so sure, but encouraging nonetheless).

Pointon hopes to work with even more charities, using his platform to “have conversations with children about things that need to be spoken about, or things that are going on in the world and get their point of view on things.”

In the meantime, you can catch all of Pointon’s thoughtful questions, along with his students’ endearing and brilliant answers, on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on 01.28.22

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Pop Culture

People are sharing 'hard-hitting' life lessons they wish they'd learned earlier

The older you get, the clearer certain lessons become.

Canva

Lots of people have regrets about not prioritizing their personal lives.

Sometimes life feels like a nonstop string of lessons we need to learn in order to be the best humans we can be. And much to our frustration, some of those lessons get repeated over and over, and some of our learning comes far later than we wish it would have.

Learning firsthand is often necessary for our own growth, but sometimes we can glean wisdom from what others have learned, especially folks who have been around a while. Older doesn't always mean wiser, but there are some things that age and experience offer that can be useful for younger people to pay heed to.

A Reddit user posted on Ask Reddit, "What's a hard hitting life lesson you learned way too late in life?" and people chimed in with some valuable insights. Some of the answers clearly came from a place of feeling hurt or beaten down, but the most popular answers are little gold nuggets we may have seen but not picked up ourselves.

Here are some of the top answers:

1. It's okay to say "no."

"The importance of setting boundaries and saying no. Turns out, people won't love you more for sacrificing your own well-being to please them. Wish I had known that sooner, would've saved a lot of unnecessary stress and burnt-out moments." – HappyPenguin112

""No." is a complete and perfectly acceptable sentence. I struggle with this myself regularly." – phlostonsparadise123

"If anything, setting boundaries and saying no will earn you MORE respect than saying yes." – Nonrandomusername19

"There are so many benefits to learning to say no. Even just the time saved alone from things that don't serve you." – LilyLove_xoxo

2. Work-life balance isn't negotiable.

"Work life balance is critical, and hustle culture is stupid. The only people who notice all those extra hours you put in at work are your family and friends." – GigabitISDN

"'I work 80 hours a week!' '40s are nothing' Yep. Yep… that’s why your wife divorced you and you never see your kids. Because you put your job over them." – slamuri

"Seriously. I had a CAREER. I trained up within the company, I got certified as a professional in the industry, and I was doing well and was well liked. It was a crazy busy and high paced job though, and I wasn't able to stay on top of it all without giving myself to it almost constantly. Checking emails at home, and even my time off that was time with my family turned into time spent panicking about work and how I will get everything done and make everyone happy.

I couldn't stand it anymore and abruptly left the industry. Now I have a better paying job that is more my speed, a true 8 hour day, and doesn't take any of my personal time. Never let work take over your life; it's just work. All it does is give you the money you need to do life. Don't let it absorb your happiness." – BoobySlap_0506

3. Don't assume everyone will think or react the way you do.

"Quit expecting you from other people." – goddess_of_fear

"I’ve heard it as: Never assume other people’s brains work the same way your brain works. Because they don’t." – Invisig0th

"My version is don’t expect yourself in others. Biggest stress reliever of all time!" – iam_caiti_b

"My hardest time with this is work ethic. I was taught to have pride in every job you do- no matter how small the task, do it to your best ability.

I expect this from everyone around me as it's such a basic premise to do things well and extremely frustrating when someone does a job haphazardly." – Top_Chair5186

4. Stop comparing.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." – assinmysock

"I’d be a lot further in life if I had stopped trying to keep up with the Joneses." – abearmin

"Stop comparing where you would've been if you'd done things differently, with where you are. Just enjoy where you are. :)" – Yet_One_More_Idiot

"Or, as my grandma would say, 'There will always be someone prettier, smarter, richer, etc. than you. Think about what you HAVE rather than what you don't have and you'll be much happier.' She was right." – SweetIcedTea73

5. Just say no to the smokes.

"Smoking isn't worth it." – SweetIcedTea73

"Yyyyep! I'm watching my dad slowly after smoking his whole life. Just avoid that sh*t." – piespiesandmorepies

"Stop for your children. They need you more than you need the nicotine and lung cancer. You've got this." – techzeus

"This is the one folks." – Pun_dimen

What lesson do you wish you had learned earlier?

From Your Site Articles

life lessons

life lessons

A woman got asked out by the guy who bullied her as a kid, so she stood him up with this awesome note.

She waited 10 years to enact the perfect revenge.

Mom defends tough-love letter to 13-year-old son after getting shamed online

She wants a son, not a roommate.

Roger Federer shared 3 life lessons he learned from tennis in Dartmouth graduation speech

"'Effortless' is a myth."

Lesson 1: Nothing is 'effortless'

Lesson 2: "It's only a point."

Lesson 3: Life is bigger than the court.

New Yorkers share their biggest regrets on a blackboard

They were alarmingly similar.

Man asks older folks for their biggest regrets and advice to their younger selves

This wisdom could save a lot of younger folks from chasing the wrong things.

Mantras to help get you through life, created by 6-year-olds

When students become the teachers.

People are sharing 'hard-hitting' life lessons they wish they'd learned earlier

The older you get, the clearer certain lessons become.

1. It's okay to say "no."

2. Work-life balance isn't negotiable.

3. Don't assume everyone will think or react the way you do.

4. Stop comparing.

5. Just say no to the smokes.

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

5-year-old gave his mom advice for handling nerves. It was both adorable and spot-on.

Cat owner put a first person camera on their collar and accidentally filled the world with delight

Family posts a very chill note to neighbors explaining why their dog is on the roof

Two brothers Irish stepdancing to Beyoncé's country hit 'Texas Hold 'Em' is pure delight