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Man asks older folks for their biggest regrets and advice to their younger selves

This wisdom could save a lot of younger folks from chasing the wrong things.

Photo by Ravi Patel on Unsplash

With age, comes wisdom (usually).

Have you ever sat and talked with an older person about their life and what they've learned in their decades of living? Talking with older people can give us a lot of wisdom and perspective that we otherwise couldn't get, which is why TikTok creator Yair Brachiyahu interviews people who are in their later years and asks them specific questions about their life experience.

Some of those questions include "What do you regret most in your life?" "What did you think was important when you were younger that you've realized isn't as important as you thought?" and "What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?"

These are good questions to ponder at any age, but older folks' responses have a bit more weight to them. There's a certain amount of wisdom that comes with experience and having lived through various stages of life. And when you put lots of those responses together, certain themes emerge that might be valuable for younger people to take to heart.

Here's an interview Yair did with a 95-year-old woman that was particularly inspiring:

@yairbrachiyahu

95 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Regret #lifelessons #lifeadvice #interview #longervideos

Staying positive and upbeat is a common theme among centenarians who are asked how they've lived so long, so she may be onto something.

This 79-year-old's response was similar, and she also hit on the most common thing people say they thought was important when they were young but realized isn't actually.

@yairbrachiyahu

79 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Loss… #lifelessons #interview #lifeadvice #longervideos

So many older people say that they thought money and material possessions were important when they were young but have realized in their later years that as long as you have enough money to live, having more money and more things doesn't make you any happier.

@yairbrachiyahu

46 Years Married Couple Share What’s Really Important In Life… #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Of course, as some have pointed out, it's a lot easier to learn the lesson that money isn't important once you've had more than enough money. And if you don't have enough money to live comfortably, even if modestly, hearing that money isn't important can feel a bit off-putting.

But that doesn't change the fact that material wealth isn't the holy grail many people think it is. It's entirely possible to be rich and unhappy and entirely possible to be happy without a lot of money.

Listen to what this 78-year-old would go back and tell his younger self:

@yairbrachiyahu

78 Year Old Shares What’s REALLY Important In Life #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Over and over, the same lessons are shared by people who have been around the block a few times. Money isn't as important as you think it is beyond basic living expenses. Relationships with family, friends and loved ones are where true wealth lies. Health is vital and taking care of your body matters. Stay positive and live life with gratitude and appreciation.

Yair has interviewed dozens of people, mostly between ages 60 to 100, and their answers are all uniquely fascinating. You can watch more of these conversations on his TikTok channel.

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Joy

Magician explains the incredible power of empathy using his best tricks

Empathy is magic.

via Nikolay Ivanov/Pexels and Liza Summer/Pexels

A magician does a card trick and two women embrace.

Ryan Modjeski, the Executive Director of Empatico, has found an interesting way of sharing the benefits of empathy — by using magic. Empatico is a video-meeting platform for educators that helps foster empathy among students through meaningful connections around the globe.

Although teaching people interpersonal skills through magic may seem strange, studies show that visual demonstrations help people remember and recall information.

In the video, he uses a card trick to explain how empathy makes us more resilientby fostering connections with others.

“With empathy, you build resilience,” Modjeski says in the video. “So, then, no matter how hard life is, no matter how shuffled up or jumbled up things are. No matter how much life pushes down on you. When you're empathetic and you're connected with yourself and with others. You always come on top.”

The Magic Of Empathy

In the second video, he uses a handkerchief trick and the mythical Green and Orange people's story to show how empathy breaks down barriers between different types of people. “How do we get Green people and Orange people to connect?” he asks. “The answer is with empathy. When we learn how to listen to each other, how to be kind, how to hear each other's stories.”

FInally, he uses four glasses of water to show the different types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. “Now, this might seem like a lot, but in fact, when you put in a little effort and you open up your heart, well you can do anything,” he concluded the video.

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Family

Mom defends tough-love letter to 13-year-old son after getting shamed online

She wants a son, not a roommate.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

Tough love.

Heidi Johnson's son was 13, deeply in adolescence, and in that stage where he lashes out.

He told her he shouldn't have to deal with her rules and should be independent.

So she wrote a strict but loving "Mom's not a fool" letter.

roommates, motherhood, life lessons

Love, Mom.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

She wrote on Facebook how her son reacted to the letter:

"He came home, saw the note, crumpled it on the floor, and stormed out of the apartment. I have always encouraged him to take a walk when he is upset so that he can collect his thoughts so when we try to talk, we are able to talk, and not just yell at each other. I do the same thing — sometimes, I just need to walk away and collect myself. I am not above admitting that. He was still livid when he got home. He decided to stage a 'sit in' in my room, where he did laugh at me and repeat, 'Really? What are you going to do? You can't take my stuff,' etc. He was asked to leave my room, and when he could be respectful, and I was more calm, we would discuss it further. He went to his room, and after about an hour, he had removed some electronics and items I missed that he felt he should have to earn back for his behavior. He apologized, and asked what could he do to make things better and start earning items back. He earned his comforter and some clothes right back. I did leave him some clothes to begin with, just not the ones he would want to wear every day. He also had some pillows and sheets, just not his favorite ones.”

She decided to post it on Facebook, the way one does to friends for a laugh and connection. She neglected to make it "private," and soon comments and shares proliferated, including admonishments from strangers who thought she was a bad parent.Now she had to deal with a bigger teenager: the internet and its commentariat. But Johnson remained level-headed and wrote another Facebook post, clarifying.

"It's out there; and I am not ashamed of what I wrote... I am not going to put my 13-year-old on the street if he can't pay his half of the rent. I am not wanting him to pay anything. I want him to take pride in his home, his space, and appreciate the gifts and blessings we have.” She explains that he is more grateful because of it, and also that he has slowly earned back things and dealt with sacrificing others. Then she lists her very organized and succinct rules of the house:

1 – Do your best in school! I don't expect a perfect 100%, but I do expect that you do your best and ask for help when you don't understand something.

2 – Homework and jobs need to be done before you can have screen time.

3 – Jobs are emptying the trash, unloading the dishwasher, throwing away trash you make in the kitchen, rinsing dirty dishes, making your bed daily, pick up bedroom nightly, and cleaning your bathroom once a week.

4 – You must complete two chores a day. Each day of the week with the exception of Sunday has a room that we work on cleaning. He has to pick two chores for that room. For example, if it is the living room he can choose two of the following options: dust, vacuum, polish furniture, clean windows, mop the floor.

5 – Be respectful and kind with your words — no back talking, no cussing at me.

6 – Keep good hygiene.

7 – Make eye contact when being spoken to, and be an active listener.

8 – Use proper manners.

"You know what.. this hasn't hurt our relationship. He and I still talk as openly as ever. He has apologized multiple times... And… he is trying harder." Her son is earning things back little by little, and appreciating it more than he did before.

"This came down to a 13-year-old telling his mother she had no right to enforce certain rules, and had no place to 'control' him. I made the point to show what life would look like if I was not his 'parent,' but rather a 'roommate.' It was a lesson about gratitude and respect from the very beginning. Sometimes, you have to lose it all to realize how well you really had it."


This article originally appeared on 8.16.21

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Joy

New Yorkers share their biggest regrets on a blackboard

They were alarmingly similar.

Image from YouTube video.

What is your biggest regret?

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."

—Henry David Thoreau

No one escapes this world without a regret or two.

Time and time again, when we hear the final regrets of the dying, they're not about wishing they'd made money or worked more hours.

They're almost always about wishing they had the self-confidence to pursue their dreams or the time to stay in touch with loved ones.

community, culture, honesty, collaboration, art

Here are some thoughts on the subject.

Image from YouTube video.

Recently, A Plus in partnership with Strayer University's Ideal Year Initiative, put up a chalkboard on a New York City street and asked passersby to write down their biggest regrets. The people who wrote on the blackboard were from different walks of life, but their regrets were alarmingly similar.

Watch the full video below:

This article first appeared on 9.16.17

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