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Wellness

Ex-smokers share what made them successfully quit cigarettes. It's an encouraging read for us all.

Proof that wildly different strategies can all lead to the same place.

Photo credit: Canva

Quitting smoking is notoriously difficult, but people have round creative ways.

For much of the 20th century, smoking was commonplace in the United States. Cigarettes were cheap. Ashtrays were everywhere. A long, slow drag from a cigarette was a dramatic standard for characters on movies and TV shows. For decades, smoking wasn't even considered unhealthy—in fact, doctors were even used to advertise cigarettes in the 1940s and 50s.

The ubiquity of smoking began to change with research on the health impacts of cigarettes starting in the 1960s, and public attitudes towards it took another dramatic turn when research showed the dangers of secondhand smoke in the 1980s. Smoking went from accepted and expected to taboo in a relatively short period of time, but as people decided to try to quit, it became clear how addictive cigarettes really are.

Beating a nicotine addiction and smoking habit is notoriously difficult, but millions of people have proven that it's possible. Someone asked ex-smokers to share what finally got them to quit cigarettes for good, and the answers contain an important lesson for anyone who is trying to make or break hard habits in their lives—just because one thing doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean something else won't.

Giphy

As the huge range in these responses show, there is no one right answer for everyone, but there is a right answer for you. It might take trying different things for a while, but don't give up. You never know what that one trigger is going to be that will change everything, so keep trying.

Here are some of the things that got ex-smokers to quit for good:

Not wanting to lose a bet

"I'm probably like a lot of former smokers that tried to quit a number of times before being successful. Then a friend and I were out fishing and he began talking about quitting smoking. He wanted to bet $50 that he could outlast me. Beer drinking and trash talking commenced and the bet got up to $500. So I am way too cheap to lose a bet like that and so I went weeks without the butts. My friend came around, admitted that he was back on the smokes and paid up the $500. I was tempted to go back but was feeling so much better without the cigs, kept it going."

"My mom quit smoking cigarettes in college the same way. She couldn't turn down a $50 wager (this was back in the 70's where that wasn't exactly chump change) and toughed through whatever withdrawals were like for her, and she never picked up the habit again."

"I quit the same way. Bet between me and my sister in 2012 but it was $20. Both of us haven’t touched a cig and the bet still stands."

Jennifer Garner Fun GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

The desire to avoid certain people

"Dumbest and least relatable reason incoming:

My housemate wanted me to smuggle cigarettes, but I didn't want to, so I said I'd veeeery recently quit and didn't want to be tempted to smoke by having thousands of them around. So I had to keep up the lie at that point."

"My neighbour followed me outside for every smoke and was so annoying that I just lost all desire. It was easier to just quit than it was to avoid her. It’s been 3 or 4 years now."

Health scares

"Doctor said I might have lung cancer. Quit January 18 2011."

"My dad quit smoking after 40 years due to a stroke. He died of lung cancer 18 years later at 83."

"My mum passed away from lung cancer 3 years ago yesterday :(

I quit that very day and immediately switched to vaping (I already had many failed attempts at switching). I then gave up vaping a year later (I had gradually reduced to 0% nicotine). I used Duolingo learning Spanish to replace vape breaks etc. Hope this helps someone."

"Same for me about few years before that. Not cancer. Shadow, likely from childhood fungal infection. Still. Was the push needed to finally quit for good."

"Same same. Smoked almost 30 years. Had quit a few times for a few weeks to a few months. But it felt like suffering. Started vaping but was still smoking. The day my doctor told me I had cancer I went for a walk. Lit a smoke which I usually do when I’m out for a stroll. But it felt stupid smoking when a doctor just told you got cancer. It wasn’t lung but still. Been about 4 years now."

Health Love GIF by ikosewingGiphy

Tricking yourself into not feeling deprived

"I have a pack in a drawer 'just in case.' I’ll never touch it, but having it there makes me feel like it’s a safety net.

"I bought a pack of cigarettes (my last one) and put it on that bowl next to the door where you put your keys. When I was a smoker I always felt more in need of a smoke if I didn't have a pack, I sometimes went to buy cigarettes in the middle of the night just to not feel that.

I decided to stop one minute at a time. Each time I wanted to smoke I would tell myself in 10 minutes if I still want to smoke I will and then just move on to something else (do not sit in front of a timer waiting) usually a couple of minutes later the need is not as urgent anymore.

You don't have to think about an eternity smoke free, you just need to make it one minute at a time. Eventually, it had been 3 weeks, and I wasn't about to ruin my efforts, then 3 months, then a year, and now it had been 7 years.

I have one of those apps that tell you how much your health improved as you stay smoke-free.

Another thing is that I kept on hanging out with smokers, I wanted to stay exposed to my environment.

So far, so good. I still get cravings, but I don't act on them. But once a smoker always a smoker, I could relapse if I start smoking again."

Gradual weaning

"I read an article in the paper showing stats that indicated that the cancer risk increased radically at 10 cigarettes a day. So I chose the 10 cigarettes that I craved the most + stuck with that. Occasionally, I would be in a bar or at a party and smoke more than my 10. But whenever that happened I would go back to 10 cigarettes the very next day. About a year later I dropped to nine cigarettes, and stuck with that for quite a while, eventually to 8. After a long period of time, I was down to 1-2 cigarettes a day. One very busy day, I forgot to smoke. The next day I struggled, wondering if I was really ready to quit. I still have dreams about that day, about whether or not I should have a cigarette. I quit, and I haven't smoked in 22 years."

"I did something similar. But one day at a time. I was inspired by John Waters, who looked cool when he smoked, but managed to quit. He counted days. Also: My cravings were worst in the evening, so I told myself if I could get through the night I could have one in the morning. I hardly ever wanted to smoke in the morning. Also, I didn’t beat myself up if I caved in after, say, a week. If I smoke one that’s still seven days without a cigarette. And if I stop again that would only be one cigarette in eight days, nine days, etc.

Smoking one after a while is not 'failing' but little breaks between big successes. I’m smoke free for ten years now. With no breaks at all."

Making it really gross

"Drove 10 hours with my father in law in the car. He smoked a pipe and inhaled it. At one point, he coughed so hard he puked out the window. Quit the next day."

"I am 4 years smoke free. I have a serious mouse phobia. So, when i decided I no longer wanted to smoke I would force myself to look at picture/videos of rodents. My brain quickly started associating smoking with mice."

Judge Thats Disgusting GIF by Hot BenchGiphy

"I found bird feathers in a few of my swisher sweet cigars over the course of a few weeks. I haven't smoked since because smoking makes me think of the taste of smoking feathers. Fortunately, I guess."

"I convinced myself that it was gross. Do you have an old soda can of butts on your porch? Think about drinking it. Have you ever smelled someone who just smokes and drinks black coffee? They smell like literal poop. Think about that. It's makes you smell poopy. Gross yourself out."

For love

"Went out one Thursday evening with some friends and friends of friends, back when you could smoke in the pub.

Got chatting to a girl, hit it off and at the end of the night, said our goodbyes and parted with a vague plan to meet up again, maybe next week.

Friday lunchtime, lasagne and a pint with some of the group from the night before (when having a couple of pints at lunchtime was acceptable), I lit up a cigarette after eating and the friend, who had introduced me to the girl the previous night, mentioned 'oh, you know that girl you were talking to last night? She's not a big fan of smoking.'

I thought for a brief moment, stubbed out my Camel, crumpled up the packet that was left, threw my lighter and have not been tempted to light up since. That was 1990 and this May, we will have been married for 32 years."

"Almost the same for me. Met a girl, girl didn't like smokers, I quit smoking. 10 years ago.

Edit: not just did I fall in love with my now wife. She also had a 4 year old girl. To be a dad, changes had to be made. No regrets."

"My girlfriend at the time would not marry or live with a smoker. I quit 21 years ago, and we are about to have our 21 year anniversary. So I guess I did it for love. 😀"

One Day At A Time Smoking GIF by All BetterGiphy

The right book

"I read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I promise I’m not being paid for this.

The comedian Paul F Tompkins smoked for years but quit after reading this book, and would recommend it to anybody who wanted to try. I’m a big fan of his, so I decided it couldn’t hurt. As soon as I started the book, I realized what it was doing. I figured I was way too smart for it and that it would never work, even though I understood the points it was making and the psychology it was using. I continued to smoke as I was reading it, as the book instructs you to do, and was absolutely sure the cute little tricks it was using would never work and that I had just wasted ten bucks.

I finished the book, threw away the unsmoked half of the pack I was on, and haven’t had so much as a craving since. I don’t even vape, I’ve had absolutely no cravings and no nicotine in any way for almost ten years now. I can not explain it but it worked immediately, in a way that nothing had worked up to that point, and wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody who is serious about quitting."

"I read it as well. Been over 15 years and never even think about it."

"Another voice voting for this! I smoked 20 a day and stopped the moment I finished this book. Still remember looking at my last cigarette as I smoked it (It was a Sterling red) and being so excited that after that cig I knew I was a non smoker. Been about 13 years now I think, never been tempted to go back."

"Worked for me too. I had given up a few times before and I always felt like I was depriving myself, even after a year. After reading that (a page or two a day) it's like I just don't see them any more, like I've erased them from my memory. Quit more than 15 years ago."

Hypnosis

"I was pack a day for years and hypnosis worked for me. I would tell anyone to try it! 16 years smoke free now."

"My granddad did it as well with Hypnosis. From a severe chain smoker to never again."

"I tried hypnosis twice. The first time I was not completely committed and expected the hypnosis to do the trick for me.

The second time I was ready to quit and viewed the hypnosis as something to help ME quit.

You have to be ready, committed to quit, and willing to do it yourself NOT expecting the hypnosis to do it for you.

I quit but my wife didn’t quit until 5 years later after me. She is now fighting emphysema."

People shared all kinds of other reasons for finally quitting as well, from their kids asking them to quit to not wanting their clothes to smell to realizing how much other people disliked it. Whether you're trying to quit smoking or trying to change some other habit, you just never know what's going to work, so keep experimenting until you find the thing that pushes you over the line to success.

From Your Site Articles

life lessons

Levi Strauss Foundation

The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence

Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends

True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

From Your Site Articles

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

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Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:

Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

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Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

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Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

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Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

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Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

_{^{Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate}}

From Your Site Articles

planet

Culture

Americans share 31 awesome things that can only be found here in the States

"Garbage disposals, apparently."

america vs europe, american things, america, american culture, european and american differences

Photo credit: Canva

A yellow school bus; a Styrofoam cup

There is no place on earth like the United States. From American culture to American food, people who visit the United States often come away bewildered. But for Americans, these everyday items and nuances give us our identity.

Although America has many European roots, there are just some things Europeans can't relate to because they're purely and totally American.

On Reddit, Americans chimed in about the things that America offers that cannot be found in Europe. From specific foods to household items and one-of-a-kind nature, these are 31 American things they listed off.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Everyday items

"Garbage disposals, apparently. An English guy once asked, 'Is it true you have a little blender in your sink to chop up the food bits and send them to the sewer because you're too lazy to walk over to the trash bin?'" - Walmartian_Beta

"Yellow school buses! I've had a lot of European friends ask me if they're real or just something from the movies, apparently a lot of them think they're on in movies or shows. I've had friends from Asia ask the same thing as well haha!" - mrthalo

"Forced air hvac systems." - Timely_Title_9157

"Screens on our windows so we can open them without letting the bugs in." - Captain_Moose

"Big *ss trucks and big *ss grills." - teteAtit

"Full size clothes dryers." - Pugamus

@imjoshfromengland2
ONLY IN AMERICA!!! 🇺🇸

Nature

"The Grand Canyon. It really is that grand." - JackC1126

"Similarly the Great Lakes are pretty great." - valthonis_surion

"Giant Redwoods. The Redwoods National Forest in northern California is one of the most mystical, beautiful, majestic, ancient places I've ever visited. It felt SACRED like there really were forest elves and tree ents protecting that place. Breathtaking. I simply wanted to walk until I got lost, then just stay lost forever. It transformed me to a time of innocence, wonder, open to curiosity about the world. Around every bend in the trail, we'd buzz with anticipation. Because any grand adventure could waiting ..even a fairy tea party." - GingerFaerie106

"Yosemite." - Grandmakk13

"Joshua trees and Sequoias." - Ten2none

"The Pacific Ocean 😎." - DejectaMemora

Food

"Free refills." - Cast_Last_LA

"32 ounce soda cups at restaurants." - The_Truth_Believe_Me

"Ranch dressing." - g00nt3r

"Ice in their the complimentary water at a restaurant." - AmigoDelDiabla

"Biscuits and gravy." - dma1965

"Massive portion sizes as the default, not the exception." - Repulsive_Look4179H

"Mexican food." - steff7474

"Like really good fall of the bones bbq. 🤤" - bad_wolf1

"And Cajun food!" - doyer_bleu

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Cultural icons

"Florida man." - Ill_Self_8964

"ADA cities." - PKspyder

"One thing that always stands out to me is how obsessed Americans are with credit scores. It affects everything here, renting, phone plans, even jobs sometimes. In a lot of Europe it’s way more chill and not this giant number hanging over your life." - ClaireBlack63

"Football, not that one, but the weird shaped ball one!" - Fritzkreig

"Don't have to pay to use restroom." - mincemuncher

"Tipping culture." - Equivalent_Smoke_608

"World Championships that only involve teams from their country." - BigBlueMountainStar

"A robust general aviation culture and system. Ok I know it’s a bit niche, but there it is. It’s live in the middle of nowhere east Texas and there about 3 places within an hour where I can take flying lessons or just rent a small airplane if I want to go fly and have a pilots license and we have hundreds, maybe even thousands, of public and private airports." - poser765

From Your Site Articles

only in america

Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

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"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."

See on Instagram

Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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Joy

Cat owner adorably finds out his cat Gloria is living many secret lives

"My cat was in my neighbor's Xmas photo last year."

cats, stray cats, feral cats, family, viral video

Photo Credit: Martin Rizo

Gloria the cat strolls in with a pink bow.

If you love a cat video AND surprises, then meet Gloria. This rambunctious little tortoiseshell cat has an entire life so separate from her owner at times, he has to piece together stories from random clues. Said cat guardian is comedian Martin Rizo, who, alongside a few small dogs, has had Gloria for about six years.

In a Facebook Reel, Rizo shared a clip of Gloria returning home from an adventure with a hot pink bow on her head. A chyron initially appears on screen asking, "When you know your cat has other families. She came back with a hair bow."

In the clip, we see Gloria stroll in with a giant hot pink "hair" accessory tied lovingly around her neck. Rizo asks, "Bro. How many owners do you have? How many names do you have besides Gloria? I don't even know who you are! How many families do you have? How many times do you eat per day?"

Gloria is then seen playing with a cat treat on the ground. Rizo continues his line of questioning while giving her gentle head scratches. "Am I your favorite owner?" Gloria then jumps off the couch. "Where are you going? Oh, you're going over there again, huh? Please don't go, wait." At the bottom of the Reel, he asks, "Does your cat cheat on you also?"

The comment section is on fire. Those who have "outside cats" are probably aware that their kitty's adventures often lead them to all sorts of hijinks around town. At over 224,000 likes and nearly 4,000 comments, people have opinions and their own stories.

One hilarious Facebook follower shares, "My cat was in my neighbor's Xmas photo last year. In a 'blanking' Xmas outfit."

cat, stray cats, viral video, Christmas, Christmas outfit A cat wearing a festive red and green sweater. Photo by Jun Ren on Unsplash

Another shares a photo of their black cat dressed in some sort of checkered sweater, saying, "This happened to me this week. The cat came back looking like this. But ready for food."

This person relays that they met the "other" family, writing, "Our cat disappeared for a few days, then came home a couple of days. After this happened a few times, we followed her. This is how we found out she 'adopted' the neighbors. We named her Fancy and the neighbors named her Pepperoni, so she is now Fancy Pepperoni and we share custody."

Upworthy had a chance to chat with Rizo, who explained that Gloria was (and still kind of is) a stray in every sense of the word. "Once a stray, always a stray. So I guess she lives here part time. But I do see her every day, and there are nights she won't come home."

cat, stray cat, Martin Rizo, comedian, viral video Gloria gets a treat from Martin. Photo Credit: Martin Rizo

He further explains that Gloria's relationship with the neighbors is also quite special. "I have seen her chilling at the neighbors—sitting on their lap. I do need to follow her one of these days to see where she goes."

Some commenters point out the dangers of not keeping one's cat indoors. One person politely suggests, "Please put a collar on ur kitty so someone doesn’t take her. Edit: to everyone trying to argue that cats can get hurt/caught if they have a collar on… please educate yourself on breakaway collars."

In the article "Are Outdoor Cats Happier?" The Animal Humane Society experts have thoughts. "People who let their cats outside may have the best intentions, but that doesn’t change the outcome of a recent study, which found the average life span of a cat is dramatically shorter for those that roam freely outdoors — by as much as 10–12 years!"

That said, there are some cats who truly take the world as their oyster. Their sense of adventure merely can't be contained with cat nip and a climbing tree. Even the Humane Society accepts that "community cats" exist. They note, "Community cats are un-owned cats that live outdoors in the community. They may be feral or friendly, may have been born into the wild, or may be lost or abandoned pet."

Gloria is neither lost, nor abandoned. Her love is simply too big to give to just one family, and it seems her admirers wouldn't have it any other way.

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History

A guy went viral for tracking the taste of his own urine. Doctors used to do it all the time.

"I am equally impressed and disgusted by this."

urine, urinalysis, pee, doctors, medicine, healthcare, wellness, reddit, reddit confessions, weird

National Library of Wales/Wikimedia Commons & Canva Photos

A guy says he can tell when he's getting sick based on the taste of his pee. Ancient doctors would probably agree.

A recent Super Bowl ad by the hydration brand Liquid IV urges viewers, with an assist from Phil Collins, to "take a look" at their urine as the color could be a warning sign of dehydration. It's long been known that lighter pee often means you've been drinking more water and other fluids. Darker yellow or amber pee can mean you're not well-hydrated, which forces the kidneys to concentrate the urine, leading to darker colors and a more powerful odor. Crucially, striving for pee that is completely clear isn't ideal.

In short, there's a lot you can learn from pee without any complicated lab tests. But some people take this pee science more seriously than others. A user on Reddit recently went viral for confessing that he's been not only tracking the color and clarity of his own pee for four years, he's been tasting it as well.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Every morning for the past four years, I've tasted my own urine. Approximately 5ml, enough for proper palate evaluation," he wrote in a post.

Again, don't try this at home.

"I've developed what I call the Golden Index, a standardized evaluation framework with six primary metrics," he explained, going on to list how he evaluates his urine's color, clarity, sweetness, salinity, bitterness, and mouthfeel each on a five-point scale each morning.

He writes that after a while, he grew sensitive to any slight change in the color, clarity, and yes, especially the taste. Those changes were often a sign of something happening in his body. Most notably, he says that he could tell he was getting sick about three days before feeling any symptoms.

"At approximately month eight, I identified a predictive pattern. When salinity exceeds 4.0 AND a copper/metallic undertone is detected, illness onset occurs within 72 hours. I've now observed this pattern 12 times and eleven predictions were accurate - that's a 91.7% accuracy rate with an average lead time of 68.4 hours before symptom manifestation." He also writes that he could see and taste when he was dehydrated, had consumed alcohol, had eaten red meat, and even when he was overly stressed.

Naturally, the jokes practically wrote themselves over the course of several hundred comments:

"'Hi Mr. Johnson, just wanted to call in sick for my shift on the 19th…' ... 'But it’s only the 16th' swishes profusely around mouth 'Trust me sir, you’re gonna want to find coverage'”

"Please tell me stool isn’t your next experiment"

"I am equally impressed and disgusted by this"

And OP was kind enough to answer the question on everyone's mind: "My wife believes I simply 'take a long time' in the bathroom each morning. She's not aware of the research."

urine, urinalysis, pee, doctors, medicine, healthcare, wellness, reddit, reddit confessions, weird Better leave the urine tests to the professionals in the lab. Photo by CDC on Unsplash

We don't know for sure who this anonymous, and brave, Internet data-nerd is, but modern doctors advise that you should never drink, or even taste, your own urine. But he's not wrong about one thing: Medical professionals used to taste pee all the time.

It's hard to stomach, but the tasting of pee proved to be a crucial step forward in the diagnosing of some illnesses, especially diabetes.

Diabetes was, if not discovered, then at least noticed by the ancient Egyptians as far back as around 1550 BCE. Papers discovered from the time recommended an antiquated treatment for "excessive urination" involving a concoction of pond water, elderberry, milk, and more. A few hundred years later, ancient Indian physicians noted that the urine of people who were sick with this mysterious affliction attracted ants.

It wasn't until 1674 that a doctor named Thomas Willis tasted diabetic urine and couldn't help but notice how sweet it was. "Wonderfully sweet as if it were imbued with honey or sugar," were his exact words. Further experiments would eventually prove that the pee was full of sugar. It took centuries, but, in 1921, the very beginnings of an effective treatment for diabetes began to pop up. The discovery of sugar in urine was an incredible key to understanding the disease.

Doctors had been tasting and visually analyzing urine for centuries in order to detect illnesses. They even had complex charts correlating different colors with potential diagnoses. It was a practice called uroscopy.

urine, urinalysis, pee, doctors, medicine, healthcare, wellness, reddit, reddit confessions, weird An ancient urine color chart used by doctors.Maria1862/Wikimedia Commons

Most of it was, respectfully, bunk, and uroscopy became mostly extinct not long after Thomas Wills' discovery. But some elements of it persist today.

Signs of ailments like urinary tract infections, liver failure, and certain kidney issues can be outwardly visible in urine samples upon visual inspection. Doctors will still look for color, clarity, and thickness in their visual exams. But most of the rest of urinalysis is best performed in a lab, where accurate readings on pH levels, protein, glucose, nitrites, and more can tell them far better information.

But as gross as it is, not to mention unsanitary and potentially unsafe, there are crazier ideas out there than the concept that tasting your own pee could alert you to a brewing illness. Ancient Indian and Egyptian doctors would probably agree with this guy.

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