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Wellness

Ex-smokers share what made them successfully quit cigarettes. It's an encouraging read for us all.

Proof that wildly different strategies can all lead to the same place.

woman breaking a cigarette in half

Quitting smoking is notoriously difficult, but people have round creative ways.

For much of the 20th century, smoking was commonplace in the United States. Cigarettes were cheap. Ashtrays were everywhere. A long, slow drag from a cigarette was a dramatic standard for characters on movies and TV shows. For decades, smoking wasn't even considered unhealthy—in fact, doctors were even used to advertise cigarettes in the 1940s and 50s.

The ubiquity of smoking began to change with research on the health impacts of cigarettes starting in the 1960s, and public attitudes towards it took another dramatic turn when research showed the dangers of secondhand smoke in the 1980s. Smoking went from accepted and expected to taboo in a relatively short period of time, but as people decided to try to quit, it became clear how addictive cigarettes really are.

Beating a nicotine addiction and smoking habit is notoriously difficult, but millions of people have proven that it's possible. Someone asked ex-smokers to share what finally got them to quit cigarettes for good, and the answers contain an important lesson for anyone who is trying to make or break hard habits in their lives—just because one thing doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean something else won't.

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As the huge range in these responses show, there is no one right answer for everyone, but there is a right answer for you. It might take trying different things for a while, but don't give up. You never know what that one trigger is going to be that will change everything, so keep trying.

Here are some of the things that got ex-smokers to quit for good:

Not wanting to lose a bet

"I'm probably like a lot of former smokers that tried to quit a number of times before being successful. Then a friend and I were out fishing and he began talking about quitting smoking. He wanted to bet $50 that he could outlast me. Beer drinking and trash talking commenced and the bet got up to $500. So I am way too cheap to lose a bet like that and so I went weeks without the butts. My friend came around, admitted that he was back on the smokes and paid up the $500. I was tempted to go back but was feeling so much better without the cigs, kept it going."

"My mom quit smoking cigarettes in college the same way. She couldn't turn down a $50 wager (this was back in the 70's where that wasn't exactly chump change) and toughed through whatever withdrawals were like for her, and she never picked up the habit again."

"I quit the same way. Bet between me and my sister in 2012 but it was $20. Both of us haven’t touched a cig and the bet still stands."

Jennifer Garner Fun GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

The desire to avoid certain people

"Dumbest and least relatable reason incoming:

My housemate wanted me to smuggle cigarettes, but I didn't want to, so I said I'd veeeery recently quit and didn't want to be tempted to smoke by having thousands of them around. So I had to keep up the lie at that point."

"My neighbour followed me outside for every smoke and was so annoying that I just lost all desire. It was easier to just quit than it was to avoid her. It’s been 3 or 4 years now."

Health scares

"Doctor said I might have lung cancer. Quit January 18 2011."

"My dad quit smoking after 40 years due to a stroke. He died of lung cancer 18 years later at 83."

"My mum passed away from lung cancer 3 years ago yesterday :(

I quit that very day and immediately switched to vaping (I already had many failed attempts at switching). I then gave up vaping a year later (I had gradually reduced to 0% nicotine). I used Duolingo learning Spanish to replace vape breaks etc. Hope this helps someone."

"Same for me about few years before that. Not cancer. Shadow, likely from childhood fungal infection. Still. Was the push needed to finally quit for good."

"Same same. Smoked almost 30 years. Had quit a few times for a few weeks to a few months. But it felt like suffering. Started vaping but was still smoking. The day my doctor told me I had cancer I went for a walk. Lit a smoke which I usually do when I’m out for a stroll. But it felt stupid smoking when a doctor just told you got cancer. It wasn’t lung but still. Been about 4 years now."

Health Love GIF by ikosewingGiphy

Tricking yourself into not feeling deprived

"I have a pack in a drawer 'just in case.' I’ll never touch it, but having it there makes me feel like it’s a safety net.

"I bought a pack of cigarettes (my last one) and put it on that bowl next to the door where you put your keys. When I was a smoker I always felt more in need of a smoke if I didn't have a pack, I sometimes went to buy cigarettes in the middle of the night just to not feel that.

I decided to stop one minute at a time. Each time I wanted to smoke I would tell myself in 10 minutes if I still want to smoke I will and then just move on to something else (do not sit in front of a timer waiting) usually a couple of minutes later the need is not as urgent anymore.

You don't have to think about an eternity smoke free, you just need to make it one minute at a time. Eventually, it had been 3 weeks, and I wasn't about to ruin my efforts, then 3 months, then a year, and now it had been 7 years.

I have one of those apps that tell you how much your health improved as you stay smoke-free.

Another thing is that I kept on hanging out with smokers, I wanted to stay exposed to my environment.

So far, so good. I still get cravings, but I don't act on them. But once a smoker always a smoker, I could relapse if I start smoking again."

Gradual weaning

"I read an article in the paper showing stats that indicated that the cancer risk increased radically at 10 cigarettes a day. So I chose the 10 cigarettes that I craved the most + stuck with that. Occasionally, I would be in a bar or at a party and smoke more than my 10. But whenever that happened I would go back to 10 cigarettes the very next day. About a year later I dropped to nine cigarettes, and stuck with that for quite a while, eventually to 8. After a long period of time, I was down to 1-2 cigarettes a day. One very busy day, I forgot to smoke. The next day I struggled, wondering if I was really ready to quit. I still have dreams about that day, about whether or not I should have a cigarette. I quit, and I haven't smoked in 22 years."

"I did something similar. But one day at a time. I was inspired by John Waters, who looked cool when he smoked, but managed to quit. He counted days. Also: My cravings were worst in the evening, so I told myself if I could get through the night I could have one in the morning. I hardly ever wanted to smoke in the morning. Also, I didn’t beat myself up if I caved in after, say, a week. If I smoke one that’s still seven days without a cigarette. And if I stop again that would only be one cigarette in eight days, nine days, etc.

Smoking one after a while is not 'failing' but little breaks between big successes. I’m smoke free for ten years now. With no breaks at all."

Making it really gross

"Drove 10 hours with my father in law in the car. He smoked a pipe and inhaled it. At one point, he coughed so hard he puked out the window. Quit the next day."

"I am 4 years smoke free. I have a serious mouse phobia. So, when i decided I no longer wanted to smoke I would force myself to look at picture/videos of rodents. My brain quickly started associating smoking with mice."

Judge Thats Disgusting GIF by Hot BenchGiphy

"I found bird feathers in a few of my swisher sweet cigars over the course of a few weeks. I haven't smoked since because smoking makes me think of the taste of smoking feathers. Fortunately, I guess."

"I convinced myself that it was gross. Do you have an old soda can of butts on your porch? Think about drinking it. Have you ever smelled someone who just smokes and drinks black coffee? They smell like literal poop. Think about that. It's makes you smell poopy. Gross yourself out."

For love

"Went out one Thursday evening with some friends and friends of friends, back when you could smoke in the pub.

Got chatting to a girl, hit it off and at the end of the night, said our goodbyes and parted with a vague plan to meet up again, maybe next week.

Friday lunchtime, lasagne and a pint with some of the group from the night before (when having a couple of pints at lunchtime was acceptable), I lit up a cigarette after eating and the friend, who had introduced me to the girl the previous night, mentioned 'oh, you know that girl you were talking to last night? She's not a big fan of smoking.'

I thought for a brief moment, stubbed out my Camel, crumpled up the packet that was left, threw my lighter and have not been tempted to light up since. That was 1990 and this May, we will have been married for 32 years."

"Almost the same for me. Met a girl, girl didn't like smokers, I quit smoking. 10 years ago.

Edit: not just did I fall in love with my now wife. She also had a 4 year old girl. To be a dad, changes had to be made. No regrets."

"My girlfriend at the time would not marry or live with a smoker. I quit 21 years ago, and we are about to have our 21 year anniversary. So I guess I did it for love. 😀"

One Day At A Time Smoking GIF by All BetterGiphy

The right book

"I read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I promise I’m not being paid for this.

The comedian Paul F Tompkins smoked for years but quit after reading this book, and would recommend it to anybody who wanted to try. I’m a big fan of his, so I decided it couldn’t hurt. As soon as I started the book, I realized what it was doing. I figured I was way too smart for it and that it would never work, even though I understood the points it was making and the psychology it was using. I continued to smoke as I was reading it, as the book instructs you to do, and was absolutely sure the cute little tricks it was using would never work and that I had just wasted ten bucks.

I finished the book, threw away the unsmoked half of the pack I was on, and haven’t had so much as a craving since. I don’t even vape, I’ve had absolutely no cravings and no nicotine in any way for almost ten years now. I can not explain it but it worked immediately, in a way that nothing had worked up to that point, and wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody who is serious about quitting."

"I read it as well. Been over 15 years and never even think about it."

"Another voice voting for this! I smoked 20 a day and stopped the moment I finished this book. Still remember looking at my last cigarette as I smoked it (It was a Sterling red) and being so excited that after that cig I knew I was a non smoker. Been about 13 years now I think, never been tempted to go back."

"Worked for me too. I had given up a few times before and I always felt like I was depriving myself, even after a year. After reading that (a page or two a day) it's like I just don't see them any more, like I've erased them from my memory. Quit more than 15 years ago."

Hypnosis

"I was pack a day for years and hypnosis worked for me. I would tell anyone to try it! 16 years smoke free now."

"My granddad did it as well with Hypnosis. From a severe chain smoker to never again."

"I tried hypnosis twice. The first time I was not completely committed and expected the hypnosis to do the trick for me.

The second time I was ready to quit and viewed the hypnosis as something to help ME quit.

You have to be ready, committed to quit, and willing to do it yourself NOT expecting the hypnosis to do it for you.

I quit but my wife didn’t quit until 5 years later after me. She is now fighting emphysema."

People shared all kinds of other reasons for finally quitting as well, from their kids asking them to quit to not wanting their clothes to smell to realizing how much other people disliked it. Whether you're trying to quit smoking or trying to change some other habit, you just never know what's going to work, so keep experimenting until you find the thing that pushes you over the line to success.

Humor

Comedian nails the differences in how each generation arrives at someone's home

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.

There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

gen z slang, w rizz, generations, generation gap, generational differences Riz W Sign GIF Giphy

And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

gen z, selfie, generation gap, generational differences, generations Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva

People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

millennial, ok boomer, generation gap, generational differences, generations Giphy

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"

Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

Fandom.com, Gage skidmore/Wikipedia

When fans become friends.

In celebration for the upcoming 25th anniversary of his heretical cult classic Dogma, director and writer Kevin Smith recalled what it was like working with the late great Alan Rickman, who played Metatron—the sardonic, winged messenger of God. Which, if you haven’t seen it, please do. Rickman is every bit as iconic in this as he is in Harry Potter or Die Hard.

Speaking of Die Hard, this brings us to our first fun anecdote Smith shared while appearing on The Rich Eisen Show. Eisen first asked Smith if at any point while filming Dogma, did he start “fanboying” over Rickman because of his legendary portrayal of Hans Gruber.

Smith immediately said yes, and added that Rickman was apparently a fan boy of Jason Mews (the Jay of Jay & Silent Bob), and even regaled him as an “American icon,” and “the best that America can be.”

dogma, dogma screening, dogma 25th anniversary, kevin smith, alan rickman, alan rickma dogma, rich eisen Alan Rickman as Metatron 'Dogma' media4.giphy.com

“Still to this day, if I try to correct him on something, [Mews]’ll be like, ‘which one of us is the American icon?” Smith quipped.

But the real funny bit is what happened during the one and only time Smith had to correct Rickman on a line reading.

At one point in the movie, Metatron says “Wax on, wax off,” which many of us might instantly recognize as a reference to Karate Kid. Rickman, who had not seen Karate Kid, did not, and originally delivered the line with Shakespearean gusto. So Smith went over to him, explained the reference and gave him a line reading (“which actors hate”).

“He turned to me…and he goes…’Royally trained, Kevin,’” Smith said, giggling.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Honestly, can’t you just see Rickman delivering the line that way? Is there a way we can all witness that greatness?!

Smith would also share that the miraculous casting of Rickman happened “by accident.” Thinking him too serious of an actor to do his comedy, Smith never reached out. But word got out that Rickman loved Chasing Amy (one of Kevin Smith’s most highly acclaimed projects) and so he was sent the Dogma script. It was an immediate yes.

On Facebook and Instagram, Smith even shared the deal memo sent to Rickman, which showed that he was paid scale, aka “the minimum wage of the movie biz.”

“So that means Alan blessed us with his perfect performance for way below what he was worth (and way less than he’d make as Snape in the @harrypotter flicks he’d do later),” Smith wrote.

While they started off as creative admirers, Dogma would cement a genuine, lasting friendship between Smith and Rickman. While speaking with GQ, Smith said, "We became friends, like that was something I never understood until late in his life. Honestly, until he passed away. I always just thought that he was just being polite because we made Dogma together and stuff. But he was genuinely interested in me and my family."

By the way you haven’t had the chance to see Rickman do his thing in this movie on the big screen, you’re in luck! Throughout September, DOGMA will be showing in theaters across the U.S., along with exclusive Q&A content, via Iconic Events Releasing.

Fatherhood

Dad shares 'complaints' about his toddler's restaurant business and it's too adorable

"It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner."

Ava's Kitchen leaves a bit to be desired in the customer service department.

Toddlers can be a handful, but they're also the absolute best, with their tiny little adorableness, their burgeoning vocabulary, and their slowly evolving understanding of the world. Their imaginations are something else, and spending time in a wee one's world is always an unpredictable treat. Being the parent of a toddler is a unique joy that only lasts for a fleeting season, so you have to take full advantage of it while you can. And one dad has clearly done just that.

Christopher Kyle is father to Ava, who at 18 months old treated her dad to a meal at her sit-down restaurant. Only according to Kyle, the service left much to be desired. In a post on Instagram, Kyle shared a photo of Ava in her play kitchen while he sat waiting for his food in a tiny chair at a tiny table.

The father/customer wrote:

"So I tried to support another Black Owned Business for lunch today. It's called Ava's Kitchen, just opened end of April. It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner.

First off, I asked why there are balloons on my chair, and it's not my birthday? She talm'bout, mind yah business; those are Mommy's.

I been waiting on my order to get done for 45 minutes, and I'm the only customer here. She was making good progress at first, then she stopped for 20 minutes to go watch Paw Patrol.

Paw Patrol Dog GIF by Xbox Giphy

Overall the customer service could be better, but the cook is a cutie; so I'll give her another chance. Let's not give up on Black businesses so fast after one mistake. 💕"

People absolutely loved this dad's humor and clearly stellar parenting skills. Anyone who has sat through a tea party—or any activity with the wee ones—knows that for all of its cuteness, toddler play is an exercise in patience and endurance.

Upworthy shared Kyle's story on our Instagram page and our readers did not disappoint.

Some played right along with the game:

"Starting a restaurant is tough.. give her a chance ❤️❤️"

"I mean, she started a restaurant during a global pandemic, give her a break 😂"

"Is she taking reservations?"

Fans of Paw Patrol had some words:

"Paw Patrol is a must watch so 🤷🏾♀️😂"

"I died at Paw Patrol 🤣🤣🤣 that's my show though. I don't have kids I just watch it just because lmao."

"Paw Patrol break is mandatory. Too cute! ♥️"

Others just gushed over the entire scene:

"Love EVERYTHING about this!! The adorable owner, the customer's humor and the incredible love."

"That's the cutest restaurant owner I've ever seen. The dad's face is priceless! 😂👍❤️"

"LoL the story is funny & beautiful!!! This warms my heart!! This babygirl will grow up to have such a healthy look at men (in any capacity) as long as she & her Daddy keep such a beautiful bond!! Happy Father's Day (early) Keep encouraging her to do her thing and her confidence will continue to soar!! I just love this!! 😍😍😍"

Since that post went viral, Ava and her dad have had some other creative adventures, including building things at Home Depot's free kids weekend workshop:

Will Ava be a restaurant owner, a carpenter, or something totally different when she grows up? Who knows, but with her dad's support, no doubt she'll build success wherever she ends up.

This article originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.

Culture

Linguist explains why Brits add an 'r' sound to words that end in vowels, but only sometimes

This is why "Anna is cute" becomes "Anner is cute" in British English.

American English vs. British English

Learning to speak English must be confusing when it's not your first language, especially considering how many distinct English accents there are. If you learn English strictly from American teachers, you'll end up pronouncing the language differently than if your teachers are British, Australian, or New Zealander.

One difference between American and British English is the way the two treat the "r' sound. American English uses the hard "r" sound (which is one of the rarest linguistic sounds in the world) a lot. Brits generally drop it at the end of words—father becomes "fath-uh," water becomes "wat-uh," and so on—and yet, Brits also insert "r' sounds where there isn't a letter "r," which is super confusing for Americans.

letter R, r sound, rhotic, non-rhotic, english accents How Brits use the "r" sound is confusing to Americans. Photo credit: Canva

Case in point: I watched Hamilton on stage in London, and in the final number, the whole cast sang "Angelic-er and Eliza were at his side when he died." How did they turn Angelica into Angelic-er? (Especially when they were supposed to be using American accents?)

A linguist named Derek explains that the inserted "r" in British English serves a specific purpose—as a placeholder to distinguish between the vowel sound at the end of one word and the vowel sound at the beginning of the next word.

@derek__ling

Answering more accent questions #language #linguistics #accents #english

So "America is" becomes "Americ-er is" and "banana is" becomes "banan-er is." (Or "banana rizz" as one clever commenter pointed out.) It's called an "intrusive R" and it sounds downright strange to the American ear. We're used to hearing "r" sounds all the time, but not in places where there isn't actually an "r" anywhere to be found.

When a word ends in a vowel and the next word begins with a vowel, Americans just slide the vowels together or sometimes put a little glottal stop in between the vowel sounds. British English differentiates them with an "r" sound. It's an unspoken rule—they don't learn it at school or anything, as it's dialectical, not grammatical. In fact, Brits often don't even realize they're doing it until it's pointed out to them.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

So if British people are perfectly capable of pronouncing an "r" at the end of a word, why do they not pronounce the "r" at the end of words that actually have a letter "r"? That's an interesting, if not totally clear, story.

People might assume that Americans were the ones who added the "r" pronunciation to English or that it must be a carryover from Scottish accents that pronounce the "r" with gusto. But in actuality, British people in general used to pronounce the "r" as well. That's right. British English actually used to sound more like American English, not the other way around.

How exactly the change happened has been a topic of some debate among linguists, but the gist is that England's non-rhotic accent (the accent that doesn't pronounce the "r") came about as a bit of socioeconomic snobbery in the 18th century. Certain classes of Brits started putting on the accent as a way of differentiating themselves from those of lower classes, at least in certain parts of England. Toss in a trendy fascination with the French around that time, and voila! Bye-bye "r" sounds.

R sound, rhotic, non-rhotic, linguistics, peewee herman Americans love the "r" sound. Giphy

But back to the present confusion about when the "r" gets pronounced. As Derek points out, both British and American folks often get it wrong when imitating one another's accents. Brits will add "r" to the end of words that end in a vowel simply because they think that's what Americans do, and Americans will remove the "r" sound where it's actually used in British English. For instance, British pronunciation of "father" would be "fathuh," but not when a word that starts with a vowel comes after it, like "my father and I." In that case, the Brit would pronounce the "r" but an American imitating a British accent would probably say, "my fathuh and I."

Tricky, isn't it? But now we know. If the next word starts with a vowel, Brits say "r" at the end of words ending with a vowel or with an "r."

You can follow Derek on TikTok for more linguistic fun.

Photo Credit: Canva

A contrarian woman sets the record straight. Another woman reacts.

Have you ever just had "that friend" who will argue with everyone about everything? Not necessarily with regard to political views or big life philosophies—but rather, they act as contrarians to the smallest, most inconsequential stuff. By the end of most conversations, you're feeling exhausted and perhaps a little gaslit?

Here are a few examples. "Bob's birthday is in October." "No, it's not, it's August." "It's definitely in October." Texts Bob, Bob confirms it's October. "Oh, okay, well he CELEBRATES in August." That might seem extreme, but it really happened. One time, I merely expressed my opinion to a friend after a long drive down the freeway. "Los Angeles drivers seem entitled." He replied, oddly smugly, "No, they don't."

@kelseyjunejensen

Please !!! Enough 🙅🏼‍♀️

Luckily, there are ways of gently dealing with these situations that don't feel confrontational or, worse, relationship-ending. Clinical psychologist Christie Ferrari gives very specific tools on how to process and address these types of people, no matter how frustrating they might seem.

First, she explains the importance of discussing the matter "without sounding accusatory." She notes that instead of saying "'You always argue with me,' which will almost always trigger defensiveness, focus on your feelings and the impact of their behavior." Instead, try, "When we talk, sometimes I feel like I’m being corrected, and that makes it harder for me to want to share things. Have you ever felt that between us?'"

For those who always seem to retort with a "but" or a "well" (and I'll even throw in an "actually"), Ferrari suggests "flipping with curiosity," asking, "Why do you see it that way?" Perhaps this response will trigger their curiosity about your opinion—or at least remind them that you have one.

She also makes the point that not all contrarians are meaning to attack you personally. "Sometimes they’re unaware they’re doing it. Sometimes they’re socially awkward or wired to process out loud. Sometimes they’re neurodivergent, and this is their conversation style." Regardless, she says, "The key is noticing patterns. Occasional disagreement is healthy. Constant one-upmanship or dismissiveness is not."

When it's just not changeable, she offers this excellent solution: "You don’t have to 'win' a conversation with a contrarian. You just have to keep yourself from being drained by it. With these back-pocket phrases, you can protect your point, stay in control of your response, and decide whether this is a friendship you want to keep investing in. 'Not a debate, just a thought.' 'We’re not in court, I’m just telling you what happened.'"

This seems to be a common issue with many. There are quite a few Reddit threads dedicated to the topic, one simply titled, "How do you deal with a contrarian?" The OP exemplifies: "Him: The sky is blue today. Me: Oh yeah, that really is blue. Him: Actually, it's pretty green."

cat, contrarian friend, actually, annoying things A cat lets you know you're wrong in a conversation. Giphy Cat Nerd

Some Redditors give the harsh advice of cutting off the friendship or starting huge arguments. But this person has a real solution for at least trying to make a conversation with this type of person tolerable: "I’d say get him onto a subject where there can be a genuine, interesting discussion." The idea, perhaps, is that it's the small-talk that's met with unnecessary pushback that's frustrating. If you guide this person to "bigger picture" topics, it might feel more fulfilling.

Another notes that it's a good idea to distinguish the level of substance in a conversation. "It really depends on the stakes: Work-related and important? Drive home the correct points. Unrelated? Literally just ignore his dumbass responses and eventually he'll realize that no one cares."

This commenter, perhaps, had the best response: "You're wrong, there's no such thing as a contrarian."