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Wellness

Ex-smokers share what made them successfully quit cigarettes. It's an encouraging read for us all.

Proof that wildly different strategies can all lead to the same place.

Photo credit: Canva

Quitting smoking is notoriously difficult, but people have round creative ways.

For much of the 20th century, smoking was commonplace in the United States. Cigarettes were cheap. Ashtrays were everywhere. A long, slow drag from a cigarette was a dramatic standard for characters on movies and TV shows. For decades, smoking wasn't even considered unhealthy—in fact, doctors were even used to advertise cigarettes in the 1940s and 50s.

The ubiquity of smoking began to change with research on the health impacts of cigarettes starting in the 1960s, and public attitudes towards it took another dramatic turn when research showed the dangers of secondhand smoke in the 1980s. Smoking went from accepted and expected to taboo in a relatively short period of time, but as people decided to try to quit, it became clear how addictive cigarettes really are.

Beating a nicotine addiction and smoking habit is notoriously difficult, but millions of people have proven that it's possible. Someone asked ex-smokers to share what finally got them to quit cigarettes for good, and the answers contain an important lesson for anyone who is trying to make or break hard habits in their lives—just because one thing doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean something else won't.

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As the huge range in these responses show, there is no one right answer for everyone, but there is a right answer for you. It might take trying different things for a while, but don't give up. You never know what that one trigger is going to be that will change everything, so keep trying.

Here are some of the things that got ex-smokers to quit for good:

Not wanting to lose a bet

"I'm probably like a lot of former smokers that tried to quit a number of times before being successful. Then a friend and I were out fishing and he began talking about quitting smoking. He wanted to bet $50 that he could outlast me. Beer drinking and trash talking commenced and the bet got up to $500. So I am way too cheap to lose a bet like that and so I went weeks without the butts. My friend came around, admitted that he was back on the smokes and paid up the $500. I was tempted to go back but was feeling so much better without the cigs, kept it going."

"My mom quit smoking cigarettes in college the same way. She couldn't turn down a $50 wager (this was back in the 70's where that wasn't exactly chump change) and toughed through whatever withdrawals were like for her, and she never picked up the habit again."

"I quit the same way. Bet between me and my sister in 2012 but it was $20. Both of us haven’t touched a cig and the bet still stands."

Jennifer Garner Fun GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

The desire to avoid certain people

"Dumbest and least relatable reason incoming:

My housemate wanted me to smuggle cigarettes, but I didn't want to, so I said I'd veeeery recently quit and didn't want to be tempted to smoke by having thousands of them around. So I had to keep up the lie at that point."

"My neighbour followed me outside for every smoke and was so annoying that I just lost all desire. It was easier to just quit than it was to avoid her. It’s been 3 or 4 years now."

Health scares

"Doctor said I might have lung cancer. Quit January 18 2011."

"My dad quit smoking after 40 years due to a stroke. He died of lung cancer 18 years later at 83."

"My mum passed away from lung cancer 3 years ago yesterday :(

I quit that very day and immediately switched to vaping (I already had many failed attempts at switching). I then gave up vaping a year later (I had gradually reduced to 0% nicotine). I used Duolingo learning Spanish to replace vape breaks etc. Hope this helps someone."

"Same for me about few years before that. Not cancer. Shadow, likely from childhood fungal infection. Still. Was the push needed to finally quit for good."

"Same same. Smoked almost 30 years. Had quit a few times for a few weeks to a few months. But it felt like suffering. Started vaping but was still smoking. The day my doctor told me I had cancer I went for a walk. Lit a smoke which I usually do when I’m out for a stroll. But it felt stupid smoking when a doctor just told you got cancer. It wasn’t lung but still. Been about 4 years now."

Health Love GIF by ikosewingGiphy

Tricking yourself into not feeling deprived

"I have a pack in a drawer 'just in case.' I’ll never touch it, but having it there makes me feel like it’s a safety net.

"I bought a pack of cigarettes (my last one) and put it on that bowl next to the door where you put your keys. When I was a smoker I always felt more in need of a smoke if I didn't have a pack, I sometimes went to buy cigarettes in the middle of the night just to not feel that.

I decided to stop one minute at a time. Each time I wanted to smoke I would tell myself in 10 minutes if I still want to smoke I will and then just move on to something else (do not sit in front of a timer waiting) usually a couple of minutes later the need is not as urgent anymore.

You don't have to think about an eternity smoke free, you just need to make it one minute at a time. Eventually, it had been 3 weeks, and I wasn't about to ruin my efforts, then 3 months, then a year, and now it had been 7 years.

I have one of those apps that tell you how much your health improved as you stay smoke-free.

Another thing is that I kept on hanging out with smokers, I wanted to stay exposed to my environment.

So far, so good. I still get cravings, but I don't act on them. But once a smoker always a smoker, I could relapse if I start smoking again."

Gradual weaning

"I read an article in the paper showing stats that indicated that the cancer risk increased radically at 10 cigarettes a day. So I chose the 10 cigarettes that I craved the most + stuck with that. Occasionally, I would be in a bar or at a party and smoke more than my 10. But whenever that happened I would go back to 10 cigarettes the very next day. About a year later I dropped to nine cigarettes, and stuck with that for quite a while, eventually to 8. After a long period of time, I was down to 1-2 cigarettes a day. One very busy day, I forgot to smoke. The next day I struggled, wondering if I was really ready to quit. I still have dreams about that day, about whether or not I should have a cigarette. I quit, and I haven't smoked in 22 years."

"I did something similar. But one day at a time. I was inspired by John Waters, who looked cool when he smoked, but managed to quit. He counted days. Also: My cravings were worst in the evening, so I told myself if I could get through the night I could have one in the morning. I hardly ever wanted to smoke in the morning. Also, I didn’t beat myself up if I caved in after, say, a week. If I smoke one that’s still seven days without a cigarette. And if I stop again that would only be one cigarette in eight days, nine days, etc.

Smoking one after a while is not 'failing' but little breaks between big successes. I’m smoke free for ten years now. With no breaks at all."

Making it really gross

"Drove 10 hours with my father in law in the car. He smoked a pipe and inhaled it. At one point, he coughed so hard he puked out the window. Quit the next day."

"I am 4 years smoke free. I have a serious mouse phobia. So, when i decided I no longer wanted to smoke I would force myself to look at picture/videos of rodents. My brain quickly started associating smoking with mice."

Judge Thats Disgusting GIF by Hot BenchGiphy

"I found bird feathers in a few of my swisher sweet cigars over the course of a few weeks. I haven't smoked since because smoking makes me think of the taste of smoking feathers. Fortunately, I guess."

"I convinced myself that it was gross. Do you have an old soda can of butts on your porch? Think about drinking it. Have you ever smelled someone who just smokes and drinks black coffee? They smell like literal poop. Think about that. It's makes you smell poopy. Gross yourself out."

For love

"Went out one Thursday evening with some friends and friends of friends, back when you could smoke in the pub.

Got chatting to a girl, hit it off and at the end of the night, said our goodbyes and parted with a vague plan to meet up again, maybe next week.

Friday lunchtime, lasagne and a pint with some of the group from the night before (when having a couple of pints at lunchtime was acceptable), I lit up a cigarette after eating and the friend, who had introduced me to the girl the previous night, mentioned 'oh, you know that girl you were talking to last night? She's not a big fan of smoking.'

I thought for a brief moment, stubbed out my Camel, crumpled up the packet that was left, threw my lighter and have not been tempted to light up since. That was 1990 and this May, we will have been married for 32 years."

"Almost the same for me. Met a girl, girl didn't like smokers, I quit smoking. 10 years ago.

Edit: not just did I fall in love with my now wife. She also had a 4 year old girl. To be a dad, changes had to be made. No regrets."

"My girlfriend at the time would not marry or live with a smoker. I quit 21 years ago, and we are about to have our 21 year anniversary. So I guess I did it for love. 😀"

One Day At A Time Smoking GIF by All BetterGiphy

The right book

"I read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I promise I’m not being paid for this.

The comedian Paul F Tompkins smoked for years but quit after reading this book, and would recommend it to anybody who wanted to try. I’m a big fan of his, so I decided it couldn’t hurt. As soon as I started the book, I realized what it was doing. I figured I was way too smart for it and that it would never work, even though I understood the points it was making and the psychology it was using. I continued to smoke as I was reading it, as the book instructs you to do, and was absolutely sure the cute little tricks it was using would never work and that I had just wasted ten bucks.

I finished the book, threw away the unsmoked half of the pack I was on, and haven’t had so much as a craving since. I don’t even vape, I’ve had absolutely no cravings and no nicotine in any way for almost ten years now. I can not explain it but it worked immediately, in a way that nothing had worked up to that point, and wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody who is serious about quitting."

"I read it as well. Been over 15 years and never even think about it."

"Another voice voting for this! I smoked 20 a day and stopped the moment I finished this book. Still remember looking at my last cigarette as I smoked it (It was a Sterling red) and being so excited that after that cig I knew I was a non smoker. Been about 13 years now I think, never been tempted to go back."

"Worked for me too. I had given up a few times before and I always felt like I was depriving myself, even after a year. After reading that (a page or two a day) it's like I just don't see them any more, like I've erased them from my memory. Quit more than 15 years ago."

Hypnosis

"I was pack a day for years and hypnosis worked for me. I would tell anyone to try it! 16 years smoke free now."

"My granddad did it as well with Hypnosis. From a severe chain smoker to never again."

"I tried hypnosis twice. The first time I was not completely committed and expected the hypnosis to do the trick for me.

The second time I was ready to quit and viewed the hypnosis as something to help ME quit.

You have to be ready, committed to quit, and willing to do it yourself NOT expecting the hypnosis to do it for you.

I quit but my wife didn’t quit until 5 years later after me. She is now fighting emphysema."

People shared all kinds of other reasons for finally quitting as well, from their kids asking them to quit to not wanting their clothes to smell to realizing how much other people disliked it. Whether you're trying to quit smoking or trying to change some other habit, you just never know what's going to work, so keep experimenting until you find the thing that pushes you over the line to success.

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Levi Strauss Foundation

The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence

Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends

True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Parenting

Boomer grandparents often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"Gramnesia" combines the words "grandparent" and "amnesia".

gramnesia, millennial, millennial parents, boomers, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting

@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.

And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

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What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor
Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

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"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."

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Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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Parenting

Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.

@90skid4lyfe
Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Young people share their petty 'boomer' complaints, proving old folks can be right

Everyone, young and old, has had it with QR codes.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors

via Tim Doefler/Unsplash

Boomers weren't wrong about everything. Here are 16 complaints even young people agree with.

Baby boomers often find themselves the butt of the joke these days. Deserved or not, they have to absorb some serious criticism from Gen Xers down to Gen Alpha kids. Notoriously, the generation takes heat from younger generations who think that their me-first mentality helped create a world where the climate is getting warmer, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and people born in the ‘40s and ‘50s still rule the modern workplace. They're also famous for being crotchety, cranky, and pessimistic about the way the world is going.

And in that, they're not always wrong. Many boomers would probably stand up and cheer if they read a list of tweets inspired by a since-deleted discussion on X that posted the question, “What is the most boomer complaint you have?”

The debate was embraced by younger people and received over 123 million views and spawned similar discourses all across social media.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Grumpy boomers aren't wrong about everything. Photo by Evgeniy Kozlov on Unsplash

Even though boomers are frequently in the hot seat these days, just about everyone can agree that they’re right about many things that get under younger people’s skin, too. One of the recurring themes of the post was that people can’t stand the fact that we are overly dependent on technology, and often, instead of making things more accessible, it makes them more frustrating.

Here are 16 of the best ‘boomer complaints’ that younger people have, too.

People had a lot of thoughts on the state of tipping culture.

"Tipping culture has gotten out of hand," one user wrote.

The discussion and sentiment continued over on Reddit, where one user joked: "Do you want to tip 20% for this comment?"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

They also can’t stand the idea that technology has complicated things unnecessarily.

One Redditor wrote simply, "I miss buttons."

"And cords. Can’t I just connect things like the old days??" someone added.

Another observed how annoying it is to "sign up" for every single thing. "Don’t make me have an account for everything."

"This more broadly is turning into one of my largest complaints about living ... Too many apps, too many accounts, too many ads, too many notifications, too many questions, too many email lists," someone responded.

And don't even get them started on AI.

"I. WANT. TO. TALK. TO. AN. AGENT!!!!!! DON’T. WANT. YOUR. [&$^@&*#]. AI. CUSTOMER. SUPPORT!!!!!!!" a Redditor fumed.

Some were frustrated enough to find ways to hack the system. "My hack that I find works on the majority of these systems is to mumble nonsense when asked 'what can i help you with today?', the system usually asks to clarify a couple of times and then will get you an agent as it cannot understand your request."

Also—what happened to adult clothes?

"Adults shouldn't dress like children. Jordans, Yeezys, 'slides', etc." someone added.

Whatever happened to paying for something once and then owning it?

Or being able to own physical media so that you don’t have to pay every time you watch your favorite movie?

"I wanna go back to blue-rays and DVDs and actually own the content I like. Fk streaming, yes to physical media!"

"Why does everything good require a subscription"

"I am absolutely not paying a monthly subscription to use your shitty app," a Reddit user wrote.

Moving on to food complaints.

When did we all decide that almost every chip has to be kettle-cooked and made for people with cobalt teeth? Enjoying a snack shouldn't result in a $5,000 dental bill.

"potato chips are too expensive and too hard these days" wrote someone on X.

Oh, and the new high-tech food menus drive everyone nuts, too:

"Please don't make me scan a QR code for the menu," a Reddit user added.

"I don't want to use a QR code to see a menu or store hours, give me a paper menu," an X user agreed.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Even the young people can't stand QR codes. Photo by Albert Hu on Unsplash

Remember when coffee was a quarter? Boomers do.

These days, it's common to spend $6 or $7 PLUS on a cup of Joe.

"I remember when coffee wasn’t the cost of a meal," an X user reminisced.

And it's not just coffee. Even the price of a McDonald's cheeseburger has nearly doubled in the last ten years. We're all cranky about it.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Everything, even fast food, has gotten out of control expensive. Photo by Hexandcube on Unsplash

We might label boomers as the cranky generation, but eventually, Gen Xers, millennials and, yes, even Gen Zers will be right behind them, complaining about "kids these days" and why things were so much better "in my day." Tis the circle of life. One the bright side though, they'll at least be better at using technology.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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