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Growing up poor can make you grateful for little things others take for granted

Even years after gaining financial stability, being able to afford "small luxuries" still feels surreal.

Fresh flowers are a huge splurge for many people.

People who grow up with financial stability—not necessarily wealthy or well-off, just financially comfortable—may not have any clue what it's like to truly worry about money. Not being able to afford everything you want is vastly different from not being able to afford everything you need, and those in the latter category have experiences and relationships with money that are unique to being poor.

In fact, as a thread on X shows growing up poor can create a lifelong perspective on spending money that ultimately leads to gratitude for things others often take for granted. A post asked people who grew up poor but are now financially stable to share small luxuries that still feel surreal, and the answers are eye-opening. Those who didn't grow up poor might expect answers like "being able to buy name brand shoes" or "being able to afford a concert ticket," but the "small luxuries" are a lot less luxurious than that.

"Real food storage containers, not the used margarine and cool whip tubs!" shared one person. While some people might choose to recycle food containers that way for environmental reasons, storing food in recycled plastic containers that aren't meant for that purpose can be unhealthy. Having a set of dedicated food storage containers is a big deal.

Another response was "Just having bills on autopay." People who aren't struggling to make ends meet each month can put their bills on autopay and not worry about whether the money to pay them will be in the account on the withdrawal date. People who are struggling often have to carefully track and and manage dates and amounts so as to not overdraw their account, which leads to more fees.

Many people talked about having a reliable car:

"Having a reliable car. AC works. Tires are good and under a warranty. Seats are heated or cooled front and back. Steering wheel is heated. With a remote start so it can be warmed up or cooled off by the time I get to it. And if something does go wrong AAA will come and save me."

"Affording safe tires and vehicle repairs."

"Running AC in my car without worrying about the car overheating. When I was a kid, our cars would overheat and we had to blast the heater in the middle of summer to cool it down."

And simply filling up the gas tank? Priceless.

getting gas, gas pump, gas station, car, luxuryFilling your tank with gas feels like a luxury for many.Giphy GIF by Andrew W. K.

"Just pulling up to a gas pump and allowing the fuel to pump as I go in and buy a drink, all while not calculating how that will impact my month!"

"Getting a full tank of gas. My mom would get $3 at a time. I didn’t understand as a child. As an adult, I always fill up the tank. That’s a privilege."

"Being able to fill my gas tank instead of wondering how far my $10 in change would actually get me."

"Filling up the gas tank without doing math first feels rich when you grew up in a '$4 on pump 3' household."

Another luxury? Prescription sunglasses.

"Every time I put them on I'm like 'Ahhh I made it.'" wrote one person.

"I’ve had thick prescriptions since I was a kid. Never had sunglasses until well into adulthood," another share. "It’s a good feeling."

Many people shared that being able to go out to eat at a restaurant and not having to order the cheapest thing on the menu still tickles them. But perhaps the most repeated answer was about grocery shopping without calculating your way through it.

"The most common response, and also my answer, is grocery shopping without checking the prices and being able to purchase 'options.' Growing up, we had about a five year period where every meal was rice and beans or whatever we had canned from the garden harvest from the previous fall."

"Biggest thing for me is shopping for food and not really worrying about the prices. Buying my Ribeyes and coming home to enjoy cooking them in my nice whole set of iron skillets, being able to curl up in beautiful blankets, watch TV, sit in my porch rocking chair, it's the peace."

grocery shopping, food budget, buying groceries, money, luxuriesGrocery shopping is more enjoyable than stressful when you're not having to calculate every penny.Photo credit: Canva

"Grocery shopping with no set budget. Still feels great after 40 years."

"Going to the grocery store without using a calculator the whole time."

Other things like buying fresh flowers, ordering an appetizer, having a refrigerator in the garage, or not having to stress about home repairs were mentioned, all of which drove home the point: When you grow up poor, you gain an appreciation for little things that people with means just consider normal living.

money, wallet, spending, cash, financial stability, financesOpening your wallet without worry is a small luxury.Photo credit: Canva

As one person wrote:

"It’s not the designer clothes. It’s walking into a room and not hearing debt breathing down your neck. It’s opening the fridge and not seeing struggle staring back. It’s buying two of something just because you f-ing can. People born rich will never understand the godlike power of:

- Filling your gas tank without checking your bank app

- Buying your mom that thing she never asked for

- Ordering food without scanning the right side of the menu

- Sleeping without fear gnawing at your chest."

No one should have to understand the fear that comes with being poor, especially children, but the one silver lining of growing up in financial struggle is the wonder and gratitude that sticks with you when you're finally able to let that fear go.

Mental Health

Adam Grant explains that a simple tweak in how you journal can boost your motivation

"Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

Adding contributions to a gratitude journal can help make you happier and more motivated.

Some years ago, the idea of keeping a "gratitude journal" became all the rage. Research indicates that cultivating a sense of gratitude by "counting our blessings" can make us feel happier and more satisfied with our lives, and gratitude journal is a purposeful, systematic way to do that.

Happiness is great, but what about motivation? Does gratitude journaling make you more motivated? According to organizational psychologist Adam Grant, the answer is no. But there is something else you can add to your journal to increase your motivation—contributions.

"If you just do a gratitude journal, you end up passive," Grant told the Last Neanderthals podcast. "You're reflecting on what you're fortunate to receive from others. Jane Dutton and I studied this and we found that people end up more motivated after they do 'contribution journals,' where. you think about what you did for others. Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

Grant said he likes to keep a journal that includes both gratitude and contributions. "You do your gratitude list, three things I'm grateful for, and then three ways I was useful to other people as well."

As a researcher at The Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania, Grant teamed up with Jane Dutton of the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan to research how reflecting on giving and receiving impacts pro-social behavior. The question at the heart of their study was whether reflecting on receiving (gratitude) or on giving (contribution) would make a person behave in a more helpful way toward others.

gratitude journal, adam grant, motivation, contributions journalAdam Grant suggests adding contributions to your gratitude journal.Photo credit: Canva

"In field and laboratory experiments, we found that participants who reflected about giving benefits voluntarily contributed more time to their university, and were more likely to donate money to natural-disaster victims, than were participants who reflected about receiving benefits," the authors wrote. "When it comes to reflection, giving may be more powerful than receiving as a driver of prosocial behavior."

In fact, it appears that reflecting on giving becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. "Merely thinking about recent experiences of giving encourages people to give more time and money," Grant and Dutton wrote. The more we recall ways we've contributed, the more motivated we are to contribute.

volunteering, giving, motivation, adam grantVolunteering is one way to contribute.Photo credit: Canva

As it turns out, giving is also good for your mental health. According to the Mental Health Foundation, that helping others can reduce stress and improve mood, self-esteem and happiness. It's one of the ways people can build connections, which helps prevent loneliness and isolation, and can increase our sense of optimism and satisfaction.

The Mental Health Foundation shares some suggestions for people wondering how they might contribute more:

- Volunteer for a local community organization
- Offer your expertise and support as a mentor for those who are struggling
- Check-in with a neighbor
- See if there’s anything you can do to support your children’s school or nursery—offer to read stories for example
- Involve your friends and neighbors in community projects
- Offer to skill-share with a friend—you could teach guitar, dance or a new recipe
- Call a friend that you haven’t spoken to for a while
- Tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them
- Offer a listening ear to someone who simply wants to talk

helping in the garden, volunteering, being helpful, contributions journalHelping doesn't have to be complicated or elaborate.Photo credit: Canva

Contributions don't have to be huge or dramatic to be impactful, both to ourselves and others. It's not like you have to find a cure for cancer or solve international conflicts or rescue someone from a burning building to count up ways you helped others or the world. A contributions journal entry could be as simple as, "1) Helped my neighbor plant her garden. 2) Dropped a bag of food at the food bank. 3) Helped my niece with her math homework." Any way that you made someone else's day or life a little easier or better is a contribution, so don't be overly judgey of your own list.

Besides, the more you reflect on giving, according to Grant, the more giving you'll have to reflect on, so just make a start and see what happens.

When older people get lonely, interacting with pets can be a game-changer.

Sometimes when we're in the younger, busier time of our lives, it's easy to forget—or not even realize—that our elderly friends and neighbors might be lonely. But very often, people who have long been retired, who may have already said goodbye to many of their friends or who have physical limitations that make it difficult to get out to visit people, can find themselves alone most of the time. Feelings of loneliness can lead to depression and other health risks, and even shorten one's lifespan.

A viral social media post offers a good reminder of this fact, but in the most heartwarming way. A poster named Dylan shared a photo of a typed letter with the caption: "I went on a vacation 2 weeks ago, and let my neighbor babysit my pets. Shortly after I got back home, I received this letter from him in the mail that made me smile and cry. I’d like to share it here."

"Good afternoon," the letter begins. This is regarding your vacation two weeks ago and how you let me babysit Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer. I'd just like to give you a letter of thanks." (The letter doesn't specify what kind of pets Smokey, Oreo and Jennifer are, but the original poster later shared that they are a German shepherd, "the crankiest little beagle you’ve seen in your life," and a cat named Oreo.)

Then he continued:

"As you know, I'm an old man. You don't see me outside often anymore, as these joints aren't as lively as they used to be. To add to that, two years ago, in the midst of the pandemic, my dad got diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. After his death, I was left alone in my home. I don't have a wife or kids. I could go to sleep one day and never wake up again. Every day is just sitting around and wondering what I have done for this world.

Until I met Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer.

Your pets are the cutest, funniest, and most troublesome (In a good way, don't worry, they didn't mess up my house too much!) individuals. They gave me the motivation to restart my life again. I started waking up early in the mornings. I began to take walks outside with your pets for the first time in years. Every 10 minutes, whenever I felt sad for a second, they would bark or rub against my leg and make me laugh.

The highlight of their stay was when I took them to the park. It was the longest time I've spend outside in a while. It didn't just bring back pet interaction, I also met other people, started talking, and made friends with a handful of fellow human beings. I was so happy to finally be able to talk with friends again, interact with others, and feel like I'm part of the human race.

I realize I sound very existential right now, but I'm telling the truth. It's nice knowing that I'm doing something for someone, even if it's my neighbor.

I adopted two dogs soon after. (You may have been hearing noise from my home, pardon them!) I now take regular walks to the park with them and talk with friends I made there. Anyways, I'd just like to say: thank you so much. You brought back meaning to my life. And that's all that matters.

Sincerely,

Robert (P.S. I think it's time for you to mow the lawn, haha!)


senior citizen, older gentleman, nieghbor, dog sitter, happy elderly manRepresentative image of Robert.via Canva/Photos

People absolutely loved Robert's letter—and Robert himself, judging from some of the comments:

"Robert is a national treasure and I take anything less to be an insult!"

"I wouldn’t just mow my lawn, but Robert’s too. Forever."

"Robert really is the good in all of us. He must be protected at all costs."

german shepards, dogs, pet sitters, dog breeds, dog in grass, happy dogA German shepard sits in the grass.via Aleksandar Mitrovic/Unsplash

Some people related to Robert, having found a new zest for life after getting pets of their own. Others joked that the whole letter was just an elaborate, "Midwest-nice" way to tell the poster their lawn needed attention. Some doubted the veracity of the letter, but even if it's not real, the comments from people sharing how their elderly loved ones had been helped by neighbors sharing their pets with them show that animals really can help people who are lonely find more connection and purpose in their lives.

Pets can bring much love into our lives and, according to the American Heart Association, can also help us live longer. Interacting with dogs boosts the production of "happy hormones" such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, which reduces stress levels and provides a greater sense of well-being. Regular walking with a dog is also a great way to exercise. Dog owners also have a unique advantage when overcoming a serious health problem. Dog owners who suffer from a heart attack or stroke are less likely to die than those who are not.

It's a good reminder to check in with older folks around us and to share the joy of our pets with people who might be lonely. You never know whose life you might touch with your furry friends.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.


This story originally appeared last year.