11 ways growing up poor effects people in ways the wealthy don't understand

One big reason social inequality exists is that the wealthy and the economically disadvantaged have difficulty understanding each other’s perspectives. The rich see life as a series of choices, but people who don’t have many resources have far fewer options from which to choose.

"People in positions of high power actually have more choices than those in positions of low power," Yidan Yin, PhD. told Salon. "That's almost a definition of having power. Unfortunately, our research suggests that powerholders overgeneralize their greater sense of choice to others. They see everyone as having lots of choice, regardless of these people's actual situation."

This perspective leads wealthy people to believe that people are poor because of faulty life choices when, in reality, it’s most likely because their options are few.

Social scientists believe that economically disadvantaged people have “different, unequal opportunities that cultivate distinct ways of knowing and being” which allows them to understand the lives of the wealthy better than the affluent do theirs.

To educate people who are well off about what life is like for someone poor, a Redditor named PrestonRoad90 asked people who grew up poor to share something that affluent people don’t understand about being economically disadvantaged. Many shared that even though they were able to escape poverty, their experiences growing up still gave them a sense of anxiety surrounding money, which is hard to escape.

The posters also shared the guilt, pain and frustrations that come with growing up in an economically disadvantaged home that people who grew up wealthy may not consider.

Children hold an "I'm hungry" sign.via Canva

Here are 11 of the most powerful things that people who grew up wealthy don’t understand.

1. Constant financial fear

"The constant fear of running out of money that creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances. I grew up poor and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carved out a pretty comfortable life but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. Like supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always 'money can run out.'"

2. Poverty is exhausting

"You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning - for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis."

3. Relationships are important

"How much relationships matter. You're alot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's a lot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc."

4. Sleep for dinner

"When you are starving and there's nothing to eat so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up you won't feel so hungry."

5. Constantly thinking about money

"One thing people who weren’t poor don’t really get is how you always had to think about money on every little thing. Like, even simple stuff like snacks or going to the movies wasn’t just a fun idea. It was, 'Can we afford it?"'or 'Do we have enough to cover everything else?'"

"Just how much headspace money takes up. You ALWAYS think about money. You think about when more money is coming in. Change is not superfluous, it is vital. Money is like a drug, you love and hate it at the same time."

6. Poverty is expensive

"Being poor is very expensive. For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off. If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, Payday Loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed. If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix."

A payday loan center.via Taber Andrew Bain/Flickr

7. Generational poverty is hard to escape

"As someone experiencing situational poverty, even if you’re financially independent from your family, having help with things like co-signing apartments is definitely something that can be hard to come by in generational poverty."

8. No privacy

"This is maybe more applicable to poor people in urban centres but you don't get any privacy and everything's always loud. Your apartment's probably too small for the amount of people living there and you don't have a private outdoor space. You can probably also hear your neighbours and they can hear you. You do your laundry in the laundromat. You either walk or take public transit as transportation and you're definitely going to be that kid who loses their shit on the subway at some point."

9. Lack of choice

"People think poor people just make poor choices because they want to. No. Most of the time poor people can choose from a few very shi**y choices."

10. Food guilt

"I have food insecurity, but the guilt is just as much. Every bit of food I eat, when money starts to get low, or even when I am visiting people who have money, I feel like I am stealing from the rest of the household. 'I'm hungry, but if I eat these two pieces of toast, that's two pieces less for partner/parent/sibling/friend who might need it more.' As the oldest child, foregoing things so others could have them is a part of my DNA."

11. Don't ask for anything

"When you're a kid and it clicks that you should never ask for things or show that you want something since all it does is make your folks upset because they can't get it for you. Never finishing school projects because you know they can't afford the supplies so you just take the F. Being the ONLY kid from your class who didn't go on the field trip so you work in the school office all day. Or if there are more of you, they'll let you just sit in the cafeteria or library all day. And then to cap it off, your senior year when your parents ask about class rings or yearbooks, you tell them you never got the form or just forgot about it."