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Lady Gaga urges the importance of friendship with 'elders' in tribute to Tony Bennett

"Our age difference didn’t matter — in fact, it gave us each something neither of us had with most people."

Just a couple of BFFs on stage together

Lady Gaga is loved for many things that have nothing to do with her talent and instead speak to the generosity of her character. Perhaps most notable of these endearing qualities is her ability to create instant and authentic friendships with showbiz elders. Such delightful interactions, full of respect and admiration but never patronizing, are living proof of the potential we all have for intergenerational connections.

Her friendship with the late, great Tony Bennett, who died July 21, 2023, is the best example of this. Since meeting in 2011, the two became not only creative collaborators but pretty much the closest thing to soul mates you could imagine. Even as Bennett’s cognition began to decline, Gaga treated him with reverence, describing it as a “challenging” but “beautiful” chapter.

Following the legendary crooner’s passing, Gaga shared moving a tribute to her comrade and also a valuable message about the importance of connecting without elders…even during the difficult times.


In case you somehow missed out on the greatness that is the work of Bennett and Gaga together (otherwise known as “Cheek to Cheek” and “Love For Sale”), here’s how she sums it up:

“With Tony, I got to live my life in a time warp. Tony & I had this magical power. We transported ourselves to another era, modernized the music together, & gave it all new life as a singing duo.”

Bennett became far more than a career mentor for Gaga, helping her reclaim a sense of joy and hope.

“Sure he taught me about music, about showbiz life, but he also showed me how to keep my spirits high and my head screwed on straight. "Straight ahead," he'd say. He was an optimist, he believed in quality work AND quality life. Plus, there was the gratitude...Tony was always grateful. He served in WWII, marched with Martin Luther King Jr., and sang jazz with the greatest singers and players in the world.”

Gaga then shared how Bennett’s Alzheimer's diagnosis made the later years of their friendship “a very long and powerful goodbye.” In fact, no matter how painful it was, being at different chapters in life is part of what made their relationship so special.


“Though there were 5 decades between us, he was my friend. My real true friend. Our age difference didn’t matter—in fact, it gave us each something neither of us had with most people. We were from two different stages in life entirely—inspired. Losing Tony to Alzheimer’s has been painful but it was also really beautiful. An era of memory loss is such a sacred time in a person’s life. There's such a feeling of vulnerability and a desire to preserve dignity. All I wanted was for Tony to remember how much I loved him and how grateful I was to have him in my life. But, as that faded slowly I knew deep down he was sharing with me the most vulnerable moment in his life that he could--being willing to sing with me when his nature was changing so deeply. I'll never forget this experience. I'll never forget Tony Bennett.”

Gaga concluded by urging everyone to not “discount your elders,” and to not “leave them behind when things change.” Ultimately, there is a gift to be had within the pain.

“Don’t flinch when you feel sad, just keep going straight ahead, sadness is part of it. Take care of your elders and I promise you will learn something special. Maybe even magical,” she wrote.

Gaga continues to not only bring about change in the music world, but inspires compassionate mindset shifts for everyday life as well.

Lady Gaga first met Tony Bennett a decade ago, hanging out backstage during a New York City gala performance. The two became "fast friends" and unlikely singing partners, recording and touring live together. Their 2014 duet album "Cheek to Cheek" debuted at number one on the Billboard charts, capturing the hearts of multiple generations. Gaga has often spoken fondly of Bennett in interviews, and for the past two years, the duo has been working on a new album together.

But a newly revealed development puts that endeavor into a whole different light: Bennett's wife and son have publicly announced that the legendary 94-year-old jazz singer was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2016.

In the latest issue of AARP magazine, writer John Colapinto describes meeting Bennett recently in the New York apartment he shares with his wife and primary caregiver, Susan. The picture he paints in the article is a familiar one for those who have experienced a loved one's cognitive decline—alternating expressionless reactions and moments of lucidity with no seeming rhyme or reason. Susan says he can thankfully still remember family members, but he's not always sure of what he's doing or what's happening. "Mundane objects as familiar as a fork or a set of house keys can be utterly mysterious to him," Colapinto wrote.


Susan told AARP that they are fortunate in that her husband has tons of support and is able to still live a relatively normal life as his memory deteriorates. She wasn't sure if he was going to be up to the task of recording an album, but they decided to try. Music is a surprisingly powerful tool for people with Alzheimer's—even patients with severe and advanced dementia can have memories triggered with music—so Bennett's neurologist encouraged him to continue making music for as long as he enjoys it.

So that's what he's done making this new album with Lady Gaga, which is set to be released this spring. However, he won't be able to promote it himself through interviews or tours like he normally would. Even during the recording sessions, the evidence of his illness hit hard when he wasn't singing, as Colapinto shared:

"In raw documentary footage of the sessions, he speaks rarely, and when he does his words are halting; at times, he seems lost and bewildered. Gaga, clearly aware of his condition, keeps her utterances short and simple (as is recommended by experts in the disease when talking to Alzheimer's patients). 'You sound so good, Tony,' she tells him at one point. 'Thanks,' is his one-word response. She says that she thinks 'all the time' about their 2015 tour. Tony looks at her wordlessly. 'Wasn't that fun every night?' she prompts him. 'Yeah,' he says, uncertainly. The pain and sadness in Gaga's face is clear at such moments — but never more so than in an extraordinarily moving sequence in which Tony (a man she calls 'an incredible mentor, and friend, and father figure') sings a solo passage of a love song. Gaga looks on, from behind her mic, her smile breaking into a quiver, her eyes brimming, before she puts her hands over her face and sobs."

Watching the mind of a loved one slip away is grueling to the point of feeling cruel. There's no other way to put it. The friends and family of the approximately 5 million Americans who live with Alzheimer's can attest to how hard it is, especially when the cognitive decline leads to forgetting even the most intimate of relationships.

The difficulty of Alzheimer's makes it hard to destigmatize the disease. People should know that it's not an immediate death sentence and that people can live a quality life with the support of their loved ones long after they've been diagnosed. We don't need to hide away people with dementia—but we do need to understand how to interact with them as well as what to expect and not to expect.

And sometimes people with Alzheimer's can surprise us. Susan said that despite the obvious cognitive decline, Bennett was still able to perform his music flawlessly, right up until his last public performance in March of 2020, when the pandemic put a halt to concerts. She said that he could seem very confused about where he was and what was going on backstage before a performance, but as soon as he heard "Ladies and gentlemen — Tony Bennett!" he would stride out on stage, smile at the audience, and sing his heart out like he'd always done. During every performance the past four years, Susan would worry he'd forget a lyric or get confused on stage. "I was a nervous frigging wreck," she said. "Yet he always delivered!"

The entire AARP article is worth a read, as it profiles Bennett's illustrious career, his life before and after his Alzheimer's diagnosis, and how his family is handling the changes in him. It also includes some valuable information about dementia for people who are going through similar changes with their loved ones.

As the world awaits the release of the Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga collaboration, Bennett's family and friends await the inevitable. Susan indicated that she'll know the end is nearing when Bennett stops singing altogether. "Singing is everything to him. Everything. It has saved his life many times," she told Colapinto, before once again pointing to the power of music.

"There's a lot about him that I miss because he's not the old Tony anymore," she said. "But when he sings, he's the old Tony."

Instagram / Lady Gaga

We've had three mass shootings in an eight-day period, spurring the ongoing debate about gun violence and why it doesn't seem like anyone is doing anything about it. One person who is taking action is Lady Gaga, who announced she will be fully funding classroom projects in Dayton, Ohio, El Paso, Texas, and Gilroy, California as a way to be proactive about what's happening in the world.

"In this moment, I want to channel my confusion, frustration, and fury into hope. Hope that we are there for each other and for ourselves," she said.

Working through her Born This Way Foundation, the singer is partnering with DonorsChoose.org, an organization that allows teachers to fundraise for classroom projects. Some of the projects had been partially funded through crowdfunding, but thanks to Lady Gaga's donations, the projects are now fully funded in 14 classrooms in Dayton, 125 classrooms in El Paso, and 23 classrooms in Gilroy have received the support they needed.

RELATED: Lady Gaga calls out interviewer's 'sexist' double standards when he asks about her 'provocative lyrics'


"My heart goes out to those who were taken from us too soon and to their families, loved ones, and communities who are left to grieve. Everyone has the right to laws that make them feel safe in their communities," Lady Gaga said in a Facebook post announcing the donations.

While the donations might not directly address the problem of gun violence, it's still a way to provide some comfort to the communities that were affected by the tragedies. The students "will now have access to the support they need to inspire their students to work together and bring their dreams to life," as Lady Gaga put it.

RELATED: Lady Gaga gave an emotional Grammys speech about mental health we all need to hear

However, Lady Gaga's donation does directly address the fact that many schools are underfunded and turn to crowdfunding or Amazon registries in order to collect resources for classrooms. Charles Best, the founder and CEO of Donors Choose, estimated that the website would raise $140 million in donations during the 2018 school year alone, with 70% of projects receiving funding. In other words, you don't need to be Lady Gaga in order to help out a classroom in need.

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Lady Gaga has been crushing the game for over a decade, but a lot of the public is still catching up. The roaring success of "A Star Is Born" only multiplied Gaga's star power and now a whole new bevy of fans are discovering how outspoken she's been all this time.

As a female musician who writes her own music and is brazen about her own sexuality and politics, Gaga is no stranger to industry sexism and also no stranger to shutting it down on sight.

Last year, when Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford testified against Brett Kavanaugh, Gaga shared stirring words of solidarity during an appearance on "Late Night with Stephen Colbert."

In the viral clip, she emphasized just how brave it was for Blasey-Ford to come forward, and noted how trauma can deeply affect your process of recollection.



RELATED: Lady Gaga gets best possible revenge on ex-classmates who bullied her with a Facebook group

Anyone familiar with her Gaga's evolution over the years already knows she has been speaking about sexism in its many forms ever since she was offered a microphone. But as her fame continues to grow, the message spreads further.

In a recently resurfaced clip from 2009, Gaga promptly shut down an interviewer when he asked if she was scared her "provocative lyrics would overshadow her talent."

Rather than pivoting from the question or giving a stock answer, Gaga used the opportunity to point out the gendered nature of the question.

"I'm not scared. Are you scared? You see, if I was a guy and I was sitting here with a cigarette in my hands grabbing my crotch talking about how I make music because I like fast cars and fucking girls, you'd call me a rock star. But when I do it in my music and video because I'm a female and I make pop music, you're judgemental and say it's distracting. I'm just a rock star."

Sadly, the sexism in the interview is still wildly relevant, so when a fan account reposted the clip over the weekend it immediately made waves.




A lot of people are joking about how the interviewer must have felt flamed after receiving such a direct call-out.

RELATED: Lady Gaga gave an emotional Grammys speech about mental health we all need to hear






Suffice it to say, Gaga is not a fan of sitting idly by when she sees a double standard being doled out willy nilly.

This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.