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A tall man and a shorter woman.

With every Facebook or Instagram ad, it can often feel like we're constantly being told that a beauty standard exists and none of are living up to it. "Drink THIS to get slimmer, eat THAT to gain muscles." It's exhausting and can truly do a number on self-esteem from an early age.

In Psychology Today's article "Words have Weight: the Many Forms of Body Shaming" author Alice E. Schluger, Ph.D. poses the question, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror and admired your reflection? We are bombarded with images of perfect bodies on TV, in magazines, and all over social media. In our weight-conscious culture, physical appearance often overrides health considerations."

But what if we could simply deny those societally-imposed "standards," and start writing a script where we (gasp) actually love our bodies? The thing is, we totally can.

This was recently put to the test for me in terms of height. "Fun-sized," is what they used to say in college. I'm five foot two and, frankly, I never gave it much thought. Not too long ago, however, I was meeting a friend's 27-year-old daughter for the first time. Upon seeing me, in heels, she exclaimed, "My dad didn't mention you were SO SHORT. You're too short."

I was taken aback. I was stunned. I don't think she meant it nefariously per se. But it felt so strange because I walk around all day in my body without thinking about my inches. For someone to fixate on it and scream it to me? Well, that felt odd.

reese witherspoon, shortness, short celebs, body shaming Reese Witherspoon saying "No." Giphy

Sure, there were "clap-backs" with which I could have replied. From the subreddit r/Comebacks, there are tons of choices, the most scathing of which might be, "I can see all your chins from here." The issue with hitting them where it hurts is you're perpetuating the cycle of shame and, frankly, becoming the very bully who's hurting you to begin with. The old adage "Hurt people hurt people" is so true, and if we recognize it before we do it, we can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

The key is to reframe what being short even means. For many, it's not negative in the slightest. While many memes will tell us how important it is to embrace body positivity, it's nice when it comes from external sources too. The more positive representation for every body type, the better. So what I wish I'd said is, "Yeah. Like Lady Gaga. And Reese Witherspoon and Ariana Grande and Salma Hayek and Scarlett Johansson and Quinta Brunson and Sabrina Carpenter. The list goes on." Or, in going back to the Reddit thread, there were lots of sweet ways to own my inches proudly without lashing back. My favorite—and what I wish I'd said, "So the worst thing about me is that there isn't MORE of me?"

Quinta Brunson hosts SNL and sings about being short. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC

Short men have also been an inspiration on this topic lately. Being short for guys has been challenging in years past. Just recently, a few online dating sites made the news for allowing height to be filtered, resulting in some shorter men getting pushed out of the algorithm. (In an Upworthy story, Evan Porter humorously suggests more sensible filters than height, such as "Can the person spell?")

Tom Cruise, short king, celebrities, mission impossible, short Tom Cruise in a scene from Mission: Impossible Giphy

However, there has been a clear turn in body positivity for shorter men. Articles like "5 Reasons Short Guys Make the Best Husbands" from Your Tango note that shorter men, on average, live longer. And, as mentioned, there's more representation in the media. Notoriously, Tom Cruise showed the world what a short king could do. Couples like Tom Holland, photographed beautifully with his much taller fiancé Zendaya, are giving men the much-deserved confidence boost some really need.

Just a couple of years ago, an opinion piece ran in The New York Times called "There Has Never Been a Better Time to be Short." Among many claims, writer Mara Altman notes, "Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of overpopulation and global warming, they may be best suited for long-term survival.”

Comedian Dan Toomey (@Dhtoomey on TikTok) has some fun with the article as a short king himself:

@dhtoomey

Breaking news, short kings #news #short #nyc #dating

At the end of the day, it's not about being short or tall or thin or fat. It's about challenging beauty norms and embracing our wonderous, unique bodies that house our hearts and lungs and bones. Ya know, those organs that keep us breathing and alive. Oprah Winfrey's advice on the matter is perfection:

"Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others."




All day long is a sing-a-long.

Most of us know what it's like to get a song stuck in your head, but how many of us spend most of our day with song after song playing in our brains, triggered by the things we or other people say?

Quite a few of us, apparently.

Social media creator Chrissy Allen shared a video on Instagram that is resonating with thousands who "can't have a single conversation without your brain thinking of a song."

Watch and see if this is you:

"My mind is a literal jukebox," Allen wrote. Same, friend. Same.

Over 18,000 people commented on the video commiserating about being walking karaoke machines.

"I am a teacher and the other day I said, 'Okay everyone stop what you’re doing' and then without thinking said
'Cause I’m about to ruin the image and the style that you’re use to' and the entire class stared at me confused and not knowing what just happened. I then realized I am 50 and my head is filled with old lyrics."

"All the neurodivergent peeps having a mental karaoke session in the middle of conversations 🤣 and we will inevitably say 'could you repeat that?'"

"Her: he was cheating on me, but you know what's really bananas?
Me: ...B-a-n-a-n-a-s... I'm so sorry"

"Why am I like this! 😫 The willpower it takes to not sing out loud in professional settings. The struggle is real."


"I can't distinguish an original thought from a verse in a song anymore. Send help."

"Very fluent in song lyrics and movie scenes 😂"

"Yes. I too have this problem. Lyrics and movie quotes are my language."

"This is me and my husband. We can't have a conversation without being reminded of a song then singing... We were in a harsh disagreement once and I couldn't help but start laughing, it annoyed him until I started singing the song, then he laughed, then we got over the disagreement and went on with our day 😂"

"My kids 'OH my god!!' Me 'Becky look at her butt!'
Then the kids just look at me like something is wrong with me.
🤣"

Apparently, some of us just have the entire catalog of every song we've ever heard just sitting there on standby until a word or phrase triggers the player to kick on. And yes, it can be a challenge to stop yourself from singing out loud at random times mid-conversation.

There's actually a scientific term for this phenomenon (and the super-related "earworm" phenomenon of having a song playing in your head on repeat). It's called involuntary musical imagery, or INMI, which refers to a "conscious mental experience of music that occurs without deliberate efforts to initiate or sustain it." A study in 2020 found that INMI appears to be a universal phenomenon and that songs with certain characteristics are more likely to be played and replayed in our brains.

“Earworms are an extremely common phenomenon and an example of spontaneous cognition,” the lead study author, Kelly Jakubowski, PhD, told CBS News. “Psychologists know that humans spend up to 40 percent of our days engaging in spontaneous cognition and are starting to try to understand why our brains spend so much time thinking thoughts unrelated to our present task and how such thoughts might be useful.”

While an earworm isn't quite the same thing as having songs on shuffle in your head, there are definitely some song that tend to pop into people's heads and refuse to leave more than others. According to the study, the top earworm songs are:

1. “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga

2. “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue

3. “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey

4. “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye

5. “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5

6. “California Gurls” by Katy Perry

7. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

8. “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga

9. “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga

Terribly sorry for putting those into your brain. (Apparently, Lady Gaga has a special knack for writing songs that stick in the ol' gray matter. Thanks, Gaga.)

The question is, are some of us more prone to INMI than others? Perhaps. According to CBS News, research has shown that being constantly exposed to music and having certain personality traits, such as obsessive-compulsive or neurotic tendencies, can make people more susceptible to earworms. And a small 2015 study found that the size and shape of a person's brain—specifically, the thickness of certain brain regions—affected the frequency with which people got songs stuck in their head.

So those with jukebox brains might just be somewhat special, though judging from the responses to Allen's video there are quite a few of us out there bopping along to the soundtracks in our heads.

Pop Culture

Lady Gaga urges the importance of friendship with 'elders' in tribute to Tony Bennett

"Our age difference didn’t matter — in fact, it gave us each something neither of us had with most people."

Just a couple of BFFs on stage together

Lady Gaga is loved for many things that have nothing to do with her talent and instead speak to the generosity of her character. Perhaps most notable of these endearing qualities is her ability to create instant and authentic friendships with showbiz elders. Such delightful interactions, full of respect and admiration but never patronizing, are living proof of the potential we all have for intergenerational connections.

Her friendship with the late, great Tony Bennett, who died July 21, 2023, is the best example of this. Since meeting in 2011, the two became not only creative collaborators but pretty much the closest thing to soul mates you could imagine. Even as Bennett’s cognition began to decline, Gaga treated him with reverence, describing it as a “challenging” but “beautiful” chapter.

Following the legendary crooner’s passing, Gaga shared moving a tribute to her comrade and also a valuable message about the importance of connecting without elders…even during the difficult times.


In case you somehow missed out on the greatness that is the work of Bennett and Gaga together (otherwise known as “Cheek to Cheek” and “Love For Sale”), here’s how she sums it up:

“With Tony, I got to live my life in a time warp. Tony & I had this magical power. We transported ourselves to another era, modernized the music together, & gave it all new life as a singing duo.”

Bennett became far more than a career mentor for Gaga, helping her reclaim a sense of joy and hope.

“Sure he taught me about music, about showbiz life, but he also showed me how to keep my spirits high and my head screwed on straight. "Straight ahead," he'd say. He was an optimist, he believed in quality work AND quality life. Plus, there was the gratitude...Tony was always grateful. He served in WWII, marched with Martin Luther King Jr., and sang jazz with the greatest singers and players in the world.”

Gaga then shared how Bennett’s Alzheimer's diagnosis made the later years of their friendship “a very long and powerful goodbye.” In fact, no matter how painful it was, being at different chapters in life is part of what made their relationship so special.


“Though there were 5 decades between us, he was my friend. My real true friend. Our age difference didn’t matter—in fact, it gave us each something neither of us had with most people. We were from two different stages in life entirely—inspired. Losing Tony to Alzheimer’s has been painful but it was also really beautiful. An era of memory loss is such a sacred time in a person’s life. There's such a feeling of vulnerability and a desire to preserve dignity. All I wanted was for Tony to remember how much I loved him and how grateful I was to have him in my life. But, as that faded slowly I knew deep down he was sharing with me the most vulnerable moment in his life that he could--being willing to sing with me when his nature was changing so deeply. I'll never forget this experience. I'll never forget Tony Bennett.”

Gaga concluded by urging everyone to not “discount your elders,” and to not “leave them behind when things change.” Ultimately, there is a gift to be had within the pain.

“Don’t flinch when you feel sad, just keep going straight ahead, sadness is part of it. Take care of your elders and I promise you will learn something special. Maybe even magical,” she wrote.

Gaga continues to not only bring about change in the music world, but inspires compassionate mindset shifts for everyday life as well.

Celebrity

Olympic figure skater takes viral Wednesday Addams dance for a spin

Everyone is trying their hand at this dance, from Lady Gaga to figure skaters.

Olympic figure skater takes viral Wednesday Addams dance for a spin

"Wednesday" is the new Netflix series taking over the airwaves. The show is a spinoff of the "Addams Family" where Wednesday, played by Jenna Ortega, is now a much older teen sent away to school at Nevermore Academy. In episode four, Wednesday attends a school dance where she has some...interesting dance moves.

This dance seems to be occupying everyone's free time as they learn to perfect it. Celebrities from Kim Kardashian and her daughter North West to Camila Cabello and Lady Gaga have all tried their hand at recreating this now iconic dance. But Olympic figure skater Kamila Valieva added a new spin to the dance—literally.


I do want to forewarn you though, if you're looking for smooth, charismatic moves to the dance, this is not it. What Valieva does on the ice is nothing short of amazing, however. The skater starts the routine from behind a table backlit with red light, and at first, all you can see is a hand dancing on the table like Thing, a character from "Wednesday" and "Addams Family."


Immediately this small detail pulls you into the performance and makes your brain aware that you're in for a treat. Quickly Valieva pops up from behind the table with an emotionless face, as if she's rising from a coffin, the mysterious hand placed on her shoulder. The familiar "Addams Family" tune plays as she heads over the wall of the skater's box to hypnotize the audience with the eerie dance.

Watch the performance below:

Can't get enough of the "Wednesday" dance? Have a gander at Lady Gaga's attempt. As for me, I'll be right back. Going to go learn this dance.

@ladygaga

BLOODY WEDNESDAY #fyp